Worst Joke Ever 2024

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[ballpoint]

I’m sure that the gambling addiction helpline would get a lot more calls if every 10th caller won a prize or something.

[ballpoint]

“Your driving is awful,” I said to my wife this morning
“It would help if you told me where I should be going!” She yelled, “Do I go left at this roundabout, or do I go right???”
“Do a left,” I replied calmly, “Then do a right between the swings and slide.”

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My yoga instructor was drunk last night.
That put me in an awkward position.

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My mate says he'll never visit Yorkshire again. He went into a supermarket and asked where he could find towels...

they sent him to a ruddy bird sanctuary!

[ballpoint]

I asked the man in the shop "Have you got any Bulldog clips?"
He replied "No, but I've got a nice video of a Jack Russell".

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I remember seeing a safety information broadcast that advised people not to turn on the lights if they suspected a gas leak.
That's why I always keep some candles handy in case of such an emergency.
 

[ballpoint]

After my wife died I couldn’t look at another woman for 20 years.

But now I’m out of jail I can honestly say it was worth it...