Popular Post scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 I got my girlfriend a “Get better soon” card. She isn’t sick, I just think she can get better. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 A Scottish family gathers around their father who is very old and sick. He says, “Daughter, are you here? Son? Where is my brother? Is everyone here in this room with me now?” The daughter replies, “Yes Dad, we’re all here! Your entire family is here in this room!” Dad says, “Then why is the bloody hallway light on?” 2 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful is against the law. Illegal is just a sick big bird. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 If I have to explain the Latin term “ad nauseum” one more time… I’m going to be sick. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ballpoint Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 10 minutes ago, scottiejohn said: I hope you have the stomach for some more sickening puns! Coming up soon in a forum near you! Like the man who swallowed a spanner, I find that gut wrenching. 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 Just now, ballpoint said: Like the man who swallowed a spanner, I find that gut wrenching. As long is it didn't tighten his nuts, otherwise he would find himself a screw less less! 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Yellowtail Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post oxo1947 Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 . 4 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 46 minutes ago, oxo1947 said: . You must have photo shopped that image it should have had this; 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the King. And when you turn 15, you get a text from Prince Andrew. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 (edited) The Prince and the Hooker. The Prince decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner next to Pizza Express he passed a hooker who well passed her 15th birthday standing there every day. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. "One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout. "No! Five pounds!" He said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up. This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She'd yell, "One hundred and fifty pounds!" He'd yell back, "Five pounds!" One day, Fergie decided to accompany her ex husband. As the couple neared the hooker's corner, the Prince realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Fergie would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings. He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his ex wife. As they neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass. Then, the hooker yelled: "See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard !” PS; Please note that the name of the alleged Prince involved in this alleged series of incidents has been removed to protect the reputation of the alleged child molester, the Duke of York pub and the many overaged hookers who hang around Pizza Express! Edited July 23, 2023 by scottiejohn 3 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post still kicking Posted July 23, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 23, 2023 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
still kicking Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post roo860 Posted July 24, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted July 24, 2023 Just ordered one, wife's birthday next week. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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