Worst Joke Ever 2024

[scottiejohn]

If you are of a religious nature close this page immediately!  YOU have been warned!

 

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense like this;

Santa;

The Easter bunny;

The Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore;

 

Thank God!

[billd766]

I have absolute proof about the Tooth fairy. She is biased against the elderly.

 

She came to my son in the UK regularly when he was younger.

 

She came to my son in Thailand regularly when he was younger.

 

At 79 one of my (3) remaining teeth fell out last night.

 

I looked everywhere this morning for the evidence of her visit.

 

Nothing, not 25 satang or even a note saying, ...... you AND the donkey you rode in on.  😒 😭

 

Edited April 1 by billd766

[scottiejohn]

22 minutes ago, billd766 said:

I have absolute proof about the Tooth fairy. She is biased against the elderly.

 

She came to my son in the UK regularly when he was younger.

 

She came to my son in Thailand regularly when he was younger.

 

At 79 one of my (3) remaining teeth fell out last night.

 

I looked everywhere this morning for the evidence of her visit.

 

Nothing, not 25 satang or even a note saying, ...... you AND the donkey you rode in on.  😒 😭

 

But the tooth fairy has already paid you!  You can't get paid twice for the same service!

Thank GOD!

[billd766]

18 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

But the tooth fairy has already paid you!  You can't get paid twice for the same service!

Thank GOD!

No way, Jose.

 

The tooth fairy just left me a pile of promissory notes, saying that the cash was too heavy, would I pay it, and the cheque was in the post.

 

She lied.

[still kicking]

[Crossy]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

Bloody millennial witches. Texting while flying.

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[Crossy]

[zakalwe]

What did the Indian kid say to his parents before he left for school?

 

Mum bai

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[scottiejohn]

55 minutes ago, dcsw53 said:

I assume you are referring to the novelty mini Mars bar!

 

 

[roo860]

The Royal Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a separate private "OFF LIMITS" area on all warships and aircraft carriers. Addressing all boat personnel at Plymouth, a senior Admiral advised:
"Female sleeping quarters will be "out-of-bounds" for all males. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined £50 the first time”.
He continued: "Anyone caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined £150.
Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of £500. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a boot-neck from 45 Commando (Royal Marines) stood up in the crowd and inquired..
"Sir, how much for a season ticket ?"

😁😁

 

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

[Crossy]

[Zyxel]