Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ballpoint]

Went out for a meal last night and they had pelican on the menu.
It was absolutely delicious but the bill was enormous.

[ballpoint]

"Army chief says cuts could be dangerous."
Let's hope nobody tells him about guns and bombs

[ballpoint]

Starbucks UK have announced that the lockdown has cost their business about £1.3bn.
That's equivalent to four hot chocolates, an americano and two sandwiches.

[sanuk711]

3 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

If you hold a coconut shell up to your ear,
you can hear the sound of a horse standing still

 

2/ If you hold a Greg's bread roll to your ear----you can hear a council estate.

 

Next one......

[ballpoint]

I saw a crying kid and asked him where his parents were.
And that's how I lost my job at the orphanage.

[fangless]

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three,

the right,

the left,

 

and the final front ear.
 

[fangless]

A guy walks into the doctor’s office.

A banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.

The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”

The doctor says,

 

“Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”

[fangless]

I had a terrible fight with my left ear.

And that was the last time I heard from it.

 

 

I've never seen the inside of my ears...

But I've heard good things.

 

 

[fangless]

50 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I made a ventriloquist dummy out of old bits of carpet.

It was ruggish.

I've just seen the most confusing book...

Ventriloquism for Dummies

 

 

The world champion in ventriloquism was murdered yesterday.

His scream was heard a mile away.

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[Khawphod]

Pun with Cats..

 

 

[Khawphod]

Famous People

 

 

[Khawphod]

[sanuk711]

.

[sanuk711]

Edited June 17, 2021 by sanuk711

[WorriedNoodle]

[tifino]

 

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears;
“ You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side
You know what?”
“What dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you’re bad luck.”

 

 

 

[Disparate Dan]

9 hours ago, fangless said:

The world champion in ventriloquism was murdered yesterday.

His scream was heard a mile away.

He was gashed to death with a gasegall gat.

Edited June 17, 2021 by Disparate Dan

[tomazbodner]

Who you gonna call?