Worst Joke Ever 2024

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[chickenslegs]

            I have an enormous favour to ask you.

[chickenslegs]

 

Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.

 

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely.

 

Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

 

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

 

What do the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people.

 

I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust!

 

When you die, what part of the body dies last? The pupils…they dilate.

 

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it.

[roo860]

[sanuk711]

.

[fangless]

Why did the young horse practice galloping in private? 
He didn’t want to make a foal of himself.
 

[sanuk711]

11 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

 

 

I just cant hear that last word on the punch line Tomazbodner......"My Wife's ??? ........ what

[fangless]

A neurologist was diagnosing a man who had lost the ability to do basic math.

“What’s 9 plus 9?” “12”.

“What’s 8 and 8?” “10”.

The doctor shook his head. “Very interesting. What about 6 times 5?”

The man thought for a second, and answered “1E”.

“Aha, I’ve figured it out!” The doctor said. 

“Somebody’s clearly put a hex on you.”

 

PS;  I hope there is no need to ASCII me to explain!

[fangless]

Did you hear about the nude cannibal social group? 
Yeah, they really like to meat new people in the raw.
 

[fangless]

Do the Dukes of Hazzard ever stop for the police? 
Not General Lee.
 

[fangless]

My son has been chewing at electrical cables.  

What should I do?
It was suggested that I ground him till he conducts himself properly.

Does anyone have any more suggestions?

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[tomazbodner]

14 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

 

I just cant hear that last word on the punch line Tomazbodner......"My Wife's ??? ........ what

My wife's first husband

[tomazbodner]

[faraday]

"Trojan" is not a good name for a condom.

[ballpoint]

Had roast badger and all the trimmings last night.
Very nice.
It was a sett meal for two

[ballpoint]

They say a dog is a man's best friend.
But I don't even have enemies that would stare directly into my eyes whilst taking a cr@p on my carpet.

[ballpoint]

Did you know that Bruce Lee had a faster older brother?

Sudden Lee.

[ballpoint]

John F Kennedy, Indira Gandhi, John Lennon.
History shows us that if you don't want your child assassinated,
don't name them after an airport.