Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[chickenslegs]

14 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

 

12 hours ago, fangless said:

What worries me about this design is not so much the vulgarity but that my first thought was "what kind of animal is it depicting?"

I have a daughter who is into "Minecraft", so I can say with some confidence that it's zombie riding a pig.

 

Edited September 16, 2021 by chickenslegs

[fangless]

5 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

I have a daughter who is into "Minecraft", so I can say with some confidence that it's zombie riding a pig.

At first I took solace in your kind words and then I thought "I haven't a clue what Minecraft is"!

How the hell did I recognise that as a man screwing a pig!

 

PS; I don't think the "characters" in the previous image I first commented on were riding in the equestrian sense!

Edited September 16, 2021 by fangless
PS; added

[overherebc]

Rotary Club Kabul.

[fangless]

1 hour ago, overherebc said:

Rotary Club Kabul.

They probably asked for a chopper so they could do some more beheading and got this instead.

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[fangless]

4 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

That didn't pan out too well then did it?

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

 A man was married to the worst cook in the world.

One evening he came home from work to find her in floods of tears. 
 ‘It’s a disaster,’ she wailed. ‘The cat’s eaten your dinner!’ 
 ‘Never mind,’ said the husband.

 

‘I’ll get you a new cat.’ 

Edited September 17, 2021 by fangless

[fangless]

 Finding a window in his busy schedule, a prison governor agreed to listen to the pleas of a woman who was desperate for her husband to be released from jail. 
 ‘What was he convicted of?’ asked the governor. 
 ‘Stealing bread,’ said the woman. 
 ‘I see. And is he a good husband?’ 
 The wife shifted awkwardly in her seat.

‘To be honest, no, he’s not a particularly good husband. He shouts at the kids, he hits me when he gets drunk, and he’s been unfaithful on at least three occasions that I know of.’ 
 ‘Well,’ said the governor, ‘it sounds to me as if you’re better off without him. Why on earth do you want him out of jail?’ 

 ‘We’ve run out of bread again.’ 
 

[fangless]

 A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party, but their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer:

‘What do you do to stop people asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?’ 
The lawyer said:

‘I give it to them and then I send them a bill.’ Although shocked by this, the doctor agreed to give it a try. 
 The next day the doctor, acting on the lawyer’s suggestion, was reluctantly putting a number of bills into his mailbox when he found a bill addressed to him.

 

It was from the same lawyer. 
 

[fangless]

I don’t trust stairs. I always think they’re up to something.
 

[fangless]

What do you get when you cross:- An octopus and a cow?

A farm animal that can milk itself. 
 

[fangless]

Chat-up Line:-  • I don’t know what you think of me, but I hope it’s X-rated. 
 

[ballpoint]

Well I've had my hair cut twice this week,
and its still too short.

[ballpoint]

It is said cheetahs won't chase you if you don't run.
This is a rumour spread by lazy cheetahs.

[ballpoint]

Calls have grown for Emma Raducanu to be made an MBE, OBE or even a Dame following her win at the US Open.
It is not yet known if the Queen will grant an honour to the teenager, but Prince Andrew has stated he would love to give her one.

[ballpoint]

That neighbour of mine is a proper ****, every time my lads ball goes into his garden he puts a knife through it.
Anyway, I got my revenge yesterday, his toddler got into my garden.

[ballpoint]

Children are starving all over Africa, but, with our charity, for just £2 per month it only takes 50,000 of you to pay the CEO's salary.

[fangless]

2 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

but Prince Andrew has stated he would love to give her one.

I thought she was over 17?