Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[fangless]

10 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Can I get a Pizza da action?

[sanuk711]

[ballpoint]

2 hours ago, fangless said:

Can I get a Pizza da action?

Use your noodle, and don't walk pasta penne.

[fangless]

55 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Use your noodle, and don't walk pasta penne.

And there I was expecting a cheesey response to top it off with!

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

24 minutes ago, fangless said:

And there I was expecting a cheesey response to top it off with!

Why?  Are you anti-pasta?

[Zyxel]

[fangless]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Why?  Are you anti-pasta?

No I'm not an Anti I'm an Uncle pasta da caring.

 

 

 

Edited November 2, 2021 by fangless

[fangless]

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[fangless]

Birth Control for Grandma
The doctor that had been seeing an 80year old woman for most of her life finally retired
At her next check-up, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her by the previous doctor.  

As the Doctor was looking through these his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills
’Mrs Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL pills?
Yes. they help me sleep at night
’Mrs. Smith. I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!’
The old lady reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee.
Yes, dear. I know that may be true medically but every morning I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter, who I am guardian of, drinks and believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night

[fangless]

CHILD LOGIC
 Teacher: Didn’t you promise me you would be well behaved in class today? 
 Johnny: Yes, miss. 
 Teacher: And didn’t I promise to punish you if you didn’t? 
 Johnny: Yes, Miss but since I broke my promise, you don’t have to keep yours. 
 

[fangless]

What can you hold without ever touching it?

-

A conversation. 
 

[fangless]

Thought for today (or child's logic if they ask!)

 

Why is it that we spend the first two or three years of a child’s life actively encouraging them to speak, only to tell them to be quiet for the next fifteen or sixteen? 
 

[fangless]

 A woman answered the door to find a workman, complete with tool box, standing on the porch. 
 ‘I’m the piano tuner, madam,’ he announced. 
 ‘But I didn’t send for a piano tuner!’ 
 ‘I know, but your neighbours did!’
 

[fangless]

Chat-up Line:- My magic watch says you’re not wearing any underwear.

Oh you are? It must be 15 minutes fast.
 

[chickenslegs]

Little known fact:

John Ogilby created the first road map of Britain in 1675.

 

At his funeral a year later in 1676, his wife stood in front of the mourners to read the eulogy. There was some confusion until she realised she was holding it upside down.

[chickenslegs]

Little known fact:

 

Percy Shaw was inspired to invent "cats eyes" after driving down a dark lane and seeing his headlights reflected in the eyes of a cat which was walking towards him.

 

The next day he saw the same cat, but it was walking in the other direction. That's how he came to invent the pencil sharpener.

[fangless]

32 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

That's how he came to invent the pencil sharpener.

What this?

 

 

Oh Sorry you meant this did you?

 

[fangless]

[fangless]