Worst Joke Ever 2024

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[VBF]

2 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Not even an ex-Parrot.......shouldn't think it's pining for the Fjords either ????

[fangless]

4 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I wonder what the "aim" of the gallery is or are they just taking a pot shot?

[Crossy]

[ballpoint]

15 minutes ago, fangless said:

I wonder what the "aim" of the gallery is or are they just taking a pot shot?

They're shooting for visitors who have the brains to decorate a blank canvas.

[fangless]

3 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Did you get a grip on it's ancestry? 

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

TODAY’s DAILY INSULT;

They say no woman ever made a fool out of you. So who did such a perfect job on you? 
 

[fangless]

A Scotsman wanted to impress his girlfriend so he took her for a ride in a taxi.
She was so beautiful he could hardly keep his eyes on the meter.
 

[fangless]

Chat-up Line:- • Is your name Summer? It has to be, because you're hot! 
 

[fangless]

[fangless]

It is a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960 and Fred has a date with Peggy Sue.

He arrives at her house and rings the bell.
‘Oh, come on in!’ Peggy Sue’s mother says as she welcomes Fred in. ‘Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?’
‘Iced tea, please,’ Fred says.
Mum brings the iced tea. ‘So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?’ she asks.
‘Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop, maybe take a walk on the beach.’
‘Peggy likes to screw, you know,’ Mum informs him.
‘Really?’ Fred replies, his eyebrows rising.
‘Oh yes,’ the mother continues. ‘When she goes out with her friends, that’s all they do!’
‘Is that so?’ asks Fred, incredulous.
‘Yes,’ says the mother. ‘As a matter of fact, she’d screw all night if we let her!’
‘Well, thanks for the tip!’ Fred says as he begins thinking about alternative plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue comes down the stairs looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink blouse and a poodle skirt, with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greets Fred.
‘Have fun, kids!’ the mother says as they leave.
Half an hour later, a completely dishevelled Peggy Sue bursts into the house and slams the front door behind her.

 

‘It is called the "Twist", Mum!’ she angrily yells to her mother in the kitchen. ‘The dance is called the Twist!’

[fangless]

Pharmacy
A lady goes into her chemist’s.

‘I’ve decided to go off the pill for a while,’ she says.

‘Can you recommend a condom for my husband?’
‘Sure can,’ says the chemist.

‘Here is the latest line. It’s called the Olympian. It’s coloured gold and, as it says on the packet, “Gives a winning performance”.’
The lady looks unimpressed.

‘Do they make a silver one?’

she asks. ‘I would rather he came second.’
 

[fangless]

 Irish Birth Control
Mrs Donovan is walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she meets up with Father Flaherty.
The father says, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?’
She replies, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’
The father asks, ‘And be there any little ones yet?’
She replies, ‘No, not yet, Father.’
The father says, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.’
She replies, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father.’ They then part ways.
Some years later, they met again. The father asks, ‘Well now, Mrs Donovan. How are ye these days?’
She replies, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’
The father asks, ‘An’ tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?’
She replies, ‘Oh, yes, Father! Three sets of twins and four singles – ten in all!’
The father says, ‘That’s wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?’

She replies, ‘’E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer bleedin’ candle.’

Edited December 16, 2021 by fangless

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]