Worst Joke Ever 2025

[faraday]

And got 10 years in the 'scrubs...(Wormwood Scrubs)

[faraday]

[faraday]

[Andrew Dwyer]

And got 10 years in the 'scrubs...(Wormwood Scrubs)

Still inside I believe !!

[Andrew Dwyer]

Some of these ladies are downright deplorable !!

[Andrew Dwyer]

And finally ( again ).

Here’s some good advice for all you kids out there:
Forget your video games or sports and crack open a carton of Marlboro !!

[faraday]

Looking forward to more in the morrow.

 

 

[kickstart]

9 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Still inside I believe !!

 

9 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Still inside I believe !!

Will he get more time for the 6th track

[sunnyboy2018]

On 12/22/2018 at 3:08 PM, kickstart said:

A madman escapes from the local asylum,  finds his way into town, and goes into a laundrette, they was  a woman wearing a short skirt filling a washing machine, so he had his way with her when he was done, he runs out of the laundrette.

The following day local newspapers headline "Nut screws washer and bolts".

Circa 1935 recycled in 65

[faraday]

[faraday]

No thanks boys....gave up the fags a few weeks back.

[Andrew Dwyer]

Nowadays he could possibly be !!

[Andrew Dwyer]

No thanks boys....gave up the fags a few weeks back.

So there’s the missing member ( pun intended ) of the Dick Handler Quartet !!

[scottiejohn]

On 8/4/2019 at 8:08 PM, vogie said:

My teapot has just had a big arguement with my kettle, but it's been brewing for a long time.

Just a storm in a teacup that got all steamed up and boiled over but defused after tea time.

[Andrew Dwyer]

This is gonna end in tears !

[ballpoint]

All the boys are lining up for this one

[ballpoint]

Ironically, Quim is the last thing he is thinking about since that painful day when he got something jammed in his accordion

[WorriedNoodle]

[vogie]

I bought a battery powered clock today, when I got home I noticed they'd given me the wrong one, I thought, this is a wind up.

 

[bluesofa]

1 minute ago, vogie said:

I bought a battery powered clock today, when I got home I noticed they'd given me the wrong one, I thought, this is a wind up.

It's been running like clockwork ever since.

[scottiejohn]

1 minute ago, bluesofa said:

It's been running like clockwork ever since.

So why is he so ticked off.

In just a minute we might get a second opinion.  If so we can hand the whole thing over without losing face and getting so wound up.

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

Two young whales, one male, one female, grew up together happily roaming the ocean and enjoying each other's company. But one day the peace was shattered when one of the whales spotted a trawler. 
"That's the bast*rd that killed my mum. Come on! I want to get my own back, will you help me?" he said. 
"What are you going to do?" asked the other. 
"I have an idea that if we both swim underneath the boat and spurt out water from our blow holes, we'll manage to capsize the boat." 
So they carried out the plan and it worked perfectly. The trawler capsized and some of the surviving sailors were left floundering in the water. 
"Heh! We can't let any of them get away," said the avenging whale, 
"Will you help me to eat them up?" 
"Now hold on a minute," she replied. "I didn't mind helping you with the blow job but there's no way I'm going to swallow any seamen." 
 

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

A Scotsman, an Englishman, a hot blonde and a fat chick get on a train with the men and women facing each other. They go into a tunnel but the lights are not on so it goes pitch black.  Suddenly they all hear a loud slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Englishman has a big red handprint on his face. 
The blonde thinks: "Oh, the Englishman must have made a move for me, but fondled that fat woman by mistake and she slapped him". 
The fat woman thinks: "Hmm, that Englishman tried to put the moves on that blonde and got slapped. Good for her." 
The Englishman thinks: "Hey, that Scotsman must have went for the blonde, and she slapped me by mistake!" 
The Scotsman thinks: "Boy, I hope we go through another tunnel, so I can wallop that English wa*ker again". 
 

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

Three men were waiting to go into heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However faithful you tell me you were to your wife will determine the quality of transport that you will get in heaven, but remember if you lie to me I will know and send you straight to hell". 

The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I loved her only until from school to her death". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce. 

The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I still loved her." He gets a BMW and drives off into heaven. 

The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife a lot and also slept with lots hookers and rent boys". He gets a Vespa scooter. 

Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying. 

He asked, "Why are you crying you have such a nice car?!" and the man sobbed, "My wife just went by on a single roller skate".

[scottiejohn]

[Andrew Dwyer]

Looks like you, me and a few others on here are headed in the opposite direction !!

[Andrew Dwyer]

That reminds me, probably should change my password !!