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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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"I don't want to know why you can't. I want to know how you can!"

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Hairdressers are not as good as they used to be.

When I was a kid, barbers were so confident they had given you a good haircut, they sold condoms.

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I'm not saying staff at my local Tops are inept, but I've used self checkout twice and I've already been named Employee of the Month!

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In the ad break of a TV show last night a white, heterosexual couple were trying to sell me something.
Then I remembered I was watching an 80's show on VHS.

Irishman drove into a car boot sale wrong way round.

Sold the engine.

For Sale
One pair prescription bifocal spectacles
Great condition, only worn a handful of times.
First to see will buy.

After several hours of amateur surgery, I remembered it's not 9 Livers that cats are supposed to have.

I'm extremely passionate about preserving endangered animals.
You should taste my panda jam and rhino chutney.

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