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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. 
I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.

 

What is a vampires favourite type of ship?

A blood vessel.


Q: Why do manly ghosts have so much trouble dating?
A: Women can see right through them!


What do witches put on their hair? 
Scare spray!

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I have won first place in this Halloween costume contest 16 years in a row. 
This year I am dressed as a hotdog. 
I'm on a roll.


What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? 
Spare ribs.

 

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with!

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For Halloween we dressed up as almonds. 
Everyone could tell we were nuts.

 

What's a nice ghoul like you doing in a crypt like this?


What do sea monsters eat for lunch? 
Fish and ships.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone with the battery at 2% charge left and no signal.

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Yup !!


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Too early ??

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Never too early for a cheese joke [emoji51]

4 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

Clowns to the left of me.

Jokers to the right .

And the voters are stuck in the middle of nowhere!

 

For once my comment is not really meant as a joke given what the whole bl**dy shambles the saga is!

""As the Bishop said to the Actress "can I come out now or later please".""

Edited by scottiejohn

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2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

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I have about 10 pairs of shorts but only 2 pairs I pee on. The rest are fine.

 

What is the problem with those 2 pairs? Do they hate me or what?

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A blind man in a bar shouts at the bartender, "Do you want to hear a blonde joke?"

 

The guy sitting to his right says "Jeez, before you tell that joke you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, the guy sitting behind you is a 6'5" 250lb boxer, and he's blonde. I'm a 200lb MMA title holder and I'm blonde. Do you still want to tell that joke?

 

The blind guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it four times!"

 

 

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I’m in !!

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Doctor to Patient:.....Did you use those suppositories that I prescribed?

 

Patient to Doctor......Yes, but for all the good they did me I might as well have stuck them up my ar*e!

 

 

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1 hour ago, WorriedNoodle said:

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Where did you find my ad? 

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3 hours ago, billd766 said:

Where did you find my ad?

I thought that either I had sent it in my sleep or Andrew (D) had done so!

 

PS;  Should we run a Poll as to which TV Poster we think best meets the description?

 

PPS;  Who do we think would respond?

Edited by scottiejohn
PPS added

I thought that either I had sent it in my sleep or Andrew (D) had done so!
 
PS;  Should we run a Poll as to which TV Poster we think best meets the description?
 
PPS;  Who do we think would respond?

Not guilty !!

( if it works out for you billd766 and she has a sister............Shotgun !! )

I think it’s about time we had a couple of “ eye “ jokes .

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[emoji301]️ [emoji300]️ [emoji301]️

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Probably time for some “ carrot “ jokes now !!

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[emoji301]️ ???? [emoji301]️

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On 12/6/2018 at 3:36 PM, scottiejohn said:

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"What the hell, I'm home all the time?" "Why can't you just be a normal girl?" *Gets arrested for child pornography.

11 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

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Joke thats the joke funny.jpg

2 hours ago, scottiejohn said:

I thought that either I had sent it in my sleep or Andrew (D) had done so!

 

PS;  Should we run a Poll as to which TV Poster we think best meets the description?

 

PPS;  Who do we think would respond?

Not me chief, engines. I am still only a 2 finger typer.

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