8 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

This photo is causing people to have nightmares !!

 

Looks like a nice little dog............with a HUMAN face !!! ????????????

 

 

I believe it is an App called PetSwitch?

Severe put down ...

17 hours ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

This photo is causing people to have nightmares !!

No wonder, but how did you get a hold of my selfie?

Meanwhile back in Blighty !!

 

 

2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

That would be a cruel and unusual punishment and is outlawed by the UN.

Two naïve young men were sitting in the park talking.
"Tell you what, Jake," said Maurice. "Let's go down the new pub tonight, 'The Crown and Sceptre'. I've heard it's right good. After you've bought the first drink, the rest are free for the whole night. And then, you goes out the back and has sex." 
"Are you sure?" asked Jake doubtfully. 
"Oh yeah, it was my sister wot told me that's wot happened to her when she went down there the other night." 

Three blokes met up to play golf on Sunday morning.

Whilst getting changed they compared notes on how they managed to get their wives to let them go.

The first said he'd brought his wife breakfast in bed, taken the dog for an early morning walk and washed the car. "She was so pleased, she was delighted to let me go," he said.

The second man recounted how he'd prepared everything for Sunday lunch and cleared up the kitchen from a dinner party the night before. 
"She reckoned I'd earned a round of golf," he said. 
The third man looked at his mates and said "I woke up, belched twice, scratched my b*lls and let rip with a real stinker. Then I said to her,

"OK then, intercourse or golf course? She couldn't wait to see me go." 
 

It was love at first sight.

After knowing each other for less than a month, they decide to get married. 
"I think I ought to tell you," said the man, "that I'm absolutely golf mad and I like to spend all weekend on the greens." 
"Okay" she replied "but there's something I ought to tell you. I'm a hooker." 
"Not to worry. We'll soon put that right, it's probably the way you hold the club," he said. 
 

Only a few more hours to go until......... 

..........” it’s beginning to look a lot like.....”

 

Edited October 31, 20196 yr by Andrew Dwyer

Two Irish warehouse workers are talking during their tea break.

Paddy says, "I am going to make the boss give me the day off."
So Murphy asks, "And how would you be doing that?"
Paddy says, "Just wait and see." He then hangs upside down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and asks, "What are you doing Paddy?"
He replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so unusually hard recently that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the rest of the day off."
As Murphy gets up and follows Paddy towards the exit the boss says, "Where the hell do you think you are going?"

Murphy says, "I'm going home, too. How am I supposed to work in the bleeding dark if Paddy goes out?"
 

Some first time visitors to Thailand takes things to literally!