I've just seen the headlines in the local paper. "Graveyard targeted in the night- assailants leave cheese toasties everywhere!".

Police say it's likely the work of Breville worshippers.

I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised.

"What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?" I enquired.

"No..." he said, "... hurdles."

My dad was a conjoined twin. His brother was my uncle on my father's side.

Once they were separated he was my uncle once removed.

Free if you collect......you'll find it in a bucket of sand at the end of our driveway.

12 hours ago, ravip said:

Damn! I wanted Cheese and Onion.......

 

Or better still  

 

 

      Stimulus-response behavior in dogs

 

A guy is sitting at a bar and the man next to him asks “So where are you from?”

The other fellow replies “I’m from Springfield, Illinois”.

“Well isn’t that a coincidence? I’m from Springfield too. Where did you go to school?” asks the first man.

“Holy Trinity”, the other replies.

“You’re kidding me! I went to Holy Trinity too!”, says the first guy.

“Incredible coincidence!” says the second fellow “what year did you graduate?”

The first guy says, “I graduated in 88, how about you?”

The second fellow replies, “This is outrageous, I’m from the class of 88 too. How about that?”

At that point one of the cocktail waitresses says to the bartender, “It’s going to be a long night Harold, the Murphy Twins are drunk again…”