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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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Just How Big Is That Trampoline ?

 

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Day out at Blackpool----would you give this all up to live in Thailand-----  Nahhh

 

 

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I asked my mate if he could get me a job at the puppet factory where he works. He said he might be able to pull a few strings!

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An elegant older lady walked up to the bar aboard a cruise ship, her pearls shining almost as brightly as her smile.

“I’ll have a Scotch,” she told the bartender, “with just two drops of water.”

 

As he poured her drink, she added, “I’m celebrating my 80th birthday today.”

“Well, happy birthday!” the bartender said, sliding the glass over. “This one’s on the house.”

 

Moments later, a woman sitting nearby raised her glass and said, “Let me buy your next one. Eighty deserves two drinks at least!”

 

The birthday lady smiled. “Why thank you, dear. Bartender—another Scotch, and again, just two drops of water.”

 

Not long after, a gentleman on her other side chimed in, “I’d be honored to get you a drink as well.”

 

“Well, aren’t you sweet!” she said. “Bartender, one more Scotch—with two drops of water, please.”

 

As he handed over the third glass, the bartender leaned in and said, “Ma’am, if you don’t mind me asking… why always two drops of water?”

 

The woman looked him straight in the eye and said with a wink:

 

“Sonny, at my age, I’ve learned how to hold my liquor… It’s holding my water that’s the real challenge.”

---

Moral of the story?
Getting older doesn’t mean losing your sense of humor—it means perfecting it. 

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Stairway to heaven

 

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