Words Of Wisdom From Children.

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, age 10

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?* don't answer him. Michael. 14

3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes. Randy, 9

5. Never pee on an electric fence. Robert, 13

6. Don't squat with your spurs on. Shelly, 13

7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. Emily, 10

8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. Bridgett, 11

9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. Traci, 14

10. Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers. Mitchell, 12

11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic lac. Andrew, 9

12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. Timmy, 9

13. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Jeffrey, 9

14. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. Kellie, 11

15. If you want a bunny, start out by asking for a horse. Naomi, 15

16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. Lauren, 9

17. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. Joel, 10

18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. Amy, 13

19. Never try to baptize a cat. Jason, 8

Old one

A Yorkshire city vanished without a trace last night.

The police are baffled, and are looking for Leeds.

Following on from the above photo;

Surgeons in South Africa have been doing pioneering work on transplants, in which joints from gorillas can be used in humans.

There is less chance of rejection, and the range of mobility is greater than that of humans.

The research is funded by the Bill Gates Foundation, which picks up all the costs for patients, who only have to pay a token fee.

In effect, they get two ape knees for a penny.

My printer has started threatening me...