1A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food. He looks up at the menu above the bar it says:

• Hot dog – $2
• Cheeseburger – $5
• Hand job – $10

He asks the waitress, “Miss are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”

She winks and replies, “why yes I am.”

He says, “Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”

What’s the difference between a woman and a computer?

Computers don’t laugh at 3.5″ floppies.

Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

Two nuns are painting an office at the rectory on a hot summer day.

One says to the other, we should take off our habits so as to not get paint on them.

So both nuns are painting the room in the nude when they hear a knock on the door.

Flustered, one says “Who is it?” followed by a man’s voice saying “Blind man”.

Figuring the man wouldn’t see anything they open the door.

The man walks in and says “Nice t1t5 ladies. Now where do you want me to install these blinds?”

 

2 hours ago, ravip said:

What’s the difference between a woman and a computer?

Computers don’t laugh at 3.5″ floppies.

They would now!

 

PS; Not only that there would be nowhere to put it, as the two actresses said to each other!

 

PPS; Please note the missing Bishop and the extra actress!

 

PPPS;  Even being of the modest type I am fairly sure my 5.25" would still be acceptable in certain areas!

Edited August 11, 20214 yr by fangless
PS's added

On 8/10/2021 at 10:39 PM, ravip said:

 

 heh heh a great way to triple your phone Cap limit

I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.

The Olympic athlete kept asking me over and over again why I put SuperGlue on one of his Javelins. I said ‘you just can’t let it go can you?

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.

I’ll tell you what, never again.

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.