After 40 years ('78 -'18) with a US farang wife of 26 years in the middle ('83- '08) I''ve had enough Thai relationships to be smart enough - ya think? not to have proposed to my current fiancé.  Now, my eyes are open and I'm concerned about the Wills and that I want to keep my two daughters at the 50% each of my hard earned of 38 years of work.

Divorced US farang 10 years ago, came to Thaiaind  in 2014 to retire after 38 years of work.  Absolutely not a single thought of ever marrying again.  Well, in early '15, I met and fell for a beautiful, educated and 20 years of white collar work at a manufacturing plant.  My first assurance, was that on our first date, we went to a bar with a pool table.  She had no clue on how to hold a pool stick or even how 8-ball was played (interpretation: she's never been a bar girl or such).  So now she works a marketing job 9-5 and that gives us our space. She almost over-stayed her 6-month Visa to live with a guy (marry) in an agreement that she would be the Nanny for his kids and be the wife on paper as well as when ever he would want.  But, now I knew up front her goal.   But honestly, she has helped and supported me through several situations and I have never felt so comfortable and content in my life.  Now, I'm 63 and she's 45.  I have two daughters 33 and 30.  She's met them and has been acceptive and everyone. 

I am a well intended good guy.   And for her, the perfect sucker.  It started out paying for her daughter's college.  And then I felt so sorry for her family's living conditions in Isan which had no side walls and made from scrap wood, that I paid off their debts on their land so they wouldn't ask my tilac for money every  month.  I had the properties put in her name and built them a 9 x 12 3 bdrm, two bath and a huge living/dining room (with a support beam in the middle).  I don't know of anyone who would build the home before the marriage, but now I know one and it's me.  However, at the end of the day It was worth it, either way I would never regret doing that for her family..  

Fast forward a bit and I propose in early 18 with ideas to marry in Nov.  Well, right after proposal, I've been laid up with a  medical situation and home bound still. Then slipped it to early '19 and now to mid-'19.  We both agree our pattern and lifestyle have changed. 

     OK,  I think I gave TMI.  THE WILL: I had not even looked up what I have to do to get married with all the required documentation.  My only sources were my friend getting a divorce and ThaiVisa so I got up to speed on the Sid and Sod and was good with the divorce conditions.  But I barely glance over the post-living rules of property division and the hierarchy etc.  The other day I commented to her that my shelf live and use by dates are well with-in the next 10 years (right now I''m in the 70% to last five year modality rate)  I said she'd find another man and start all over again.  Of course she countered that she could never love anyone else again  (bakwan, bakwan and on).  But then she commented that she would need a house to live in after I'm gone and that there are some nice ones in Bangna that the sooner I get one, the more money I'd save by buying sooner.

   Then the Light Lit.  In the US, one has to do a new will after re-marrying.  Right now, it's 50-50 for my two daughters.

    She's hoping to get enough of a chunk of my $1.5M to live well after I'm gone.  But, I spent 38 years working with the intent of my daughters getting everything.

1.  Can one write the Thai will to be more like a divorce?  Where she only gets what she had before, where as the Thai Will puts her ahead of my daughters?.

2. Normally, in the US, the spouse get's 50 % as I sorely know from mine and she still get's half of my pension.  So can one write the US will so she gets to keep all the wonderful memories we've had?  And how much $$ is right?  And the longer I live the numbers will change so everyone in her extended family will have new iPhones and then some.

All this last week, my gut is telling  me that I'm basically paying her to be my wife.  And for living with me less than 10 years and me paying for everything during that time..  She's used the phrase, if you really love someone wouldn't you want them to be taken care of and have no worries.  You've already given your daughter's an upbringing and paid for their colleges.

But when I'm with her, I feel great, but how much is that feeling worth.   Some people say not to worry because I'll be retired from life and can't do anything, not even worry.

OK, don't hold back.

Thanks in advance.

 

Moon37

Life is speed, speed is Life"

Prenups exist in Thailand. Spend a little of that money to see foreign Attorney in Thailand and get a will done at the same time.

18 hours ago, Moon37 said:

She's hoping to get enough of a chunk of my $1.5M to live well after I'm gone.  But, I spent 38 years working with the intent of my daughters getting everything.

I won't hold back.

 

Write your will out for your kids and do what you feel is right. As for the person you are with now, you can bring over what you maybe think is the right amount of money to leave her after you die (You might bring in just like US$50K and leave it at that - it is up to you).

 

Keep the rest of the cash/assets well away from Thailand and do not let your partner know how much money you have.

 

Your kids are your kids. Most Thai's will forget you ten minutes after you are dead and gone. I would just rent and be happy when you come back. She, in all honesty, will be looking for a big payout now and I have seen it happen a few times. Older guy with a girl that he pays to keep him happy. I see it on a weekly basis. Just pay now what your happy to do and be with and don't worry much more than that. You keep yourself happy- that is the number one thing to do. If you are happy to pay out a lot more, that is soundly your choice.

 

Remember this is all your choice. I see a lot of guys giving out stuff to the ladies here for not much more than sex and just them talking bullshit to them to make them feel good. Good on the girls and I think really good on the guys as well as long as they are happy doing it but DO NOT HAVE REMORSE later after giving it all away. 

 

I am married, I have a Will and my wife will receive all I have but I am not a rich man. 1.5 Million is a lot of money and I would be very careful about it all.

 

In honesty, if I only had 10 years left to live, I would want it to be on my terms, no someone else's. 

 

 

Sounds like she doesn't have any money, and probably never has, if she had, she would have helped to improve her families living conditions. Also, lots of bars (most?) don't have pool tables so it's not a deal breaker on whether she has worked in a bar or not, just because she can't play pool. Lot's of bar girls reinvent their back story when they move on.

 

Having said that, does it really matter if she has worked in a bar in the past? If you have convinced her that you have only a limited time on this mortal coil, it's only natural for her to worry about her financial future when you're gone, it's something all Thai women worry about a lot. If you really loved her, you'd worry for her too.

 

I recently bought a house in my Thai wife's name and am in the process of creating a ufustruct which will ensure that I can remain in the house for the next 30 years, come what may. The bulk of my capital is in the UK and have made a will in the UK, distributing my capital as I see fit (including to my 2 children). In the event of my death, I believe that this will would supersede any Thai inheritance laws and my Thai wife would be unable to challenge it.

19 hours ago, Moon37 said:

All this last week, my gut is telling  me that I'm basically paying her to be my wife. 

But you haven't married her so she isn't entitled to anything.

And if you do marry her, she only gets 50% if you haven't written a will.

 

How much time have your daughters spent looking after you, since turning adult?

How much time has your wife spent looking after you?

If I were the sort to leave money, I'd divide it up like that, which would be nothing for my worthless Brit kids.

Edited December 16, 20187 yr by BritManToo

42 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

But you haven't married her so she isn't entitled to anything.

And if you do marry her, she only gets 50% if you haven't written a will.

Only 33% I think, not 50%, as the OP said he has 2 daughters and the Thai wife would then by default (no will) have the same level of inheritance as each of daughters.

Edited December 16, 20187 yr by Pattaya46

Whatever you decide, don't forget "rule 2" for living in T/L.... Don't be worth more to someone when you're dead..!

i.e. leave her enough/plenty, but don't tell her how much.

Write a US and a Thai Will. Many examples on the net. Suggest you have two falangs and two Thais witness your Thai Will. 

The beauty of Wills is you can cancel or amend them at any time. 

So the OP plans to use up the last remaining good years the Thai woman has and leave her nothing?  Do her a favor and search further for your nurse/housekeeper with benefits.

My answer to this was an American Will leaving all owned in US 50/50 to my two Sons. The only ownership is my financial holdings (no real property). They are already listed as beneficiaries on these accounts. My outlook is, what comes to Thailand, stays in Thailand. I draw  my 65K baht for funding monthly. Any left over goes to my savings account 500K to be left, (along with the car, motorbike any bank accounts) to my significant other as stated in a separate Thai Will naming her sole beneficiary for Thailand owned goods. So, two separate Wills.

On 12/16/2018 at 9:22 PM, Spidey said:

am in the process of creating a ufustruct which will ensure that I can remain in the house for the next 30 years,

Why limit it to 30 years? Usufructs can be be valid until you finally pop your clogs.

Just now, topt said:

Why limit it to 30 years? Usufructs can be be valid until you finally pop your clogs.

Ill be seriously annoyed if I haven't popped my clogs in 30 years. 95? No thanks!

2 hours ago, Spidey said:

Ill be seriously annoyed if I haven't popped my clogs in 30 years. 95? No thanks!

In 30 years time, 95 may be the new 70... plenty to look forward to hopefully.

Hi, copy of Thai and Eng. wills 

13_Last_Will_and_Testament.pdf

T13_Last_Will_and_Agreement.pdf

Nothing wrong with leaving her 3-5 million baht or so. Probably the right thing after 10 years together. Yes, you have paid for everything during the relationship but she may well end up looking after you (wiping your ass) for years to come. Much cheaper than living in a nursing home in the western world. It would actually save money for your kids. That said, never mind the wedding. You only need to get married if you are having kids.

Tell your gf, for every year you spend together you put 200,000 in the will for her, I think that’s  fare enough if she a good girl, if she splits, nothing,

she will want you live to 100.

 

Hi, copy of Thai and Eng. wills 
13_Last_Will_and_Testament.pdf
T13_Last_Will_and_Agreement.pdf

Thanks, this is good to have, Happy Boxing Day”. Moon



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So the OP plans to use up the last remaining good years the Thai woman has and leave her nothing?  Do her a favor and search further for your nurse/housekeeper with benefits.

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IAM
Good and sincere point, thank you, Moon


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