Thai Custom Re: Financial Expectations

[kmart]

What are the odds that she is being honest/legit,.. 10% ?

There is a long standing Thai tradition of scamming Farangs.

They consider us lowlifes, crass, stupid, rich, Barbarians, deserving to be fleeced.

These girls troll until a sucker comes along, then lie, lie, lie. No shame.

Chances are, she and her boyfriend are laughing their as*s off every time they go to the ATM.

Getting drunk, gambling and sleeping in till 2PM every day.

If they had an opportunity, they would take it all, leave you broke.

Has anyone ever accused you of being cynical, Skipper?

That is however, the BG manifesto. Sometimes its difficult to be cynical enough in LOS.

[Tilokarat]

There sure are a lot of suckers (or trolls) in this thread. Think about it for a minute..is it acceptable to pay a girlfriend from your own country a monthly salary? Guess what..it's really not the norm in Thailand either unless it has to do with bleeding naive foreign men. I have paid exactly 0 baht except for the occasional dinner out or small gift to my girlfriend. It's not hard to filter out the money greedy skanks by refusing to be taken for a ride.

No, I did not think it was a Thai custom to pay for all of the girlfriend's expenses. This did not make sense, and I am not going to do it.

She has told me that she has to act like a man for her son. If she is not tough, she worries that he will become soft. But, yes, I am having trouble with this thought of her racing cars. It seems a little too extreme. However....

Again, thanks everyone for your comments and advice, I will check the site again tomorrow.

[llso]

I have been here for six years. I have a friend right now that is sending his girl in BKK 50K per month. I know this because she loves to brag to my wife about it.

A Thai girl with a kid should be able to get along very well anywhere in Thailand on 20K baht per month. That includes helping family out a bit.

Stop and think the average person in Issan lives on about a 1000 Baht/month.

I like to think of it like this and always think of this when I hear about sending monthly stipends to a Thai girl.

A couple of years ago I was reading the want ads in the Bangkok Post.

Wanted:

Thai Attorney with Law degree

10 years Experience

To work in Bangkok Law Firm

Monthly Salary?????

20,000 Baht /Month!

NOW think about that

And you got uneducated Thai women bring in 50 K ++ from Farangs.

LL

[wintermute]

There sure are a lot of suckers (or trolls) in this thread. Think about it for a minute..is it acceptable to pay a girlfriend from your own country a monthly salary? Guess what..it's really not the norm in Thailand either unless it has to do with bleeding naive foreign men. I have paid exactly 0 baht except for the occasional dinner out or small gift to my girlfriend. It's not hard to filter out the money greedy skanks by refusing to be taken for a ride.

No, I did not think it was a Thai custom to pay for all of the girlfriend's expenses. This did not make sense, and I am not going to do it.

She has told me that she has to act like a man for her son. If she is not tough, she worries that he will become soft. But, yes, I am having trouble with this thought of her racing cars. It seems a little too extreme. However....

Again, thanks everyone for your comments and advice, I will check the site again tomorrow.

Whatever. I'm pretty sure you're a troll regardless.

[The Skipper]

What are the odds that she is being honest/legit,.. 10% ?

There is a long standing Thai tradition of scamming Farangs.

They consider us lowlifes, crass, stupid, rich, Barbarians, deserving to be fleeced.

These girls troll until a sucker comes along, then lie, lie, lie. No shame.

Chances are, she and her boyfriend are laughing their as*s off every time they go to the ATM.

Getting drunk, gambling and sleeping in till 2PM every day.

If they had an opportunity, they would take it all, leave you broke.

Has anyone ever accused you of being cynical, Skipper?

That is however, the BG manifesto. Sometimes its difficult to be cynical enough in LOS.

Hey, I went to a seminar on positive thinking but the teacher sucked and they served shittty coffee.

[wintermute]

I have been here for six years. I have a friend right now that is sending his girl in BKK 50K per month. I know this because she loves to brag to my wife about it.

A Thai girl with a kid should be able to get along very well anywhere in Thailand on 20K baht per month. That includes helping family out a bit.

Stop and think the average person in Issan lives on about a 1000 Baht/month.

I like to think of it like this and always think of this when I hear about sending monthly stipends to a Thai girl.

A couple of years ago I was reading the want ads in the Bangkok Post.

Wanted:

Thai Attorney with Law degree

10 years Experience

To work in Bangkok Law Firm

Monthly Salary?????

20,000 Baht /Month!

NOW think about that

And you got uneducated Thai women bring in 50 K ++ from Farangs.

LL

Just some perspective here:

Average salary for an unskilled worker in Thailand is about 25 baht an hour at a call center or waiting tables. Those guys laying bricks or sweeping up garbage in the hot sun probably make less than 100 baht a day.

Secretaries, recent college grads, 7-11 employees, and administrative assistant types make around 6,000-8,000 baht a month

Thai teachers make somewhere in between 8,000 to 15,000.

Skilled workers such as accountants, IT techs, etc.. make around 15,000-20,000

Managerial staff make around 25,000-30,000 after years of groveling. High end management basically got their job through nepotism or other connections and it can be as much as a western salary.

So in otherwords if someone is paying 50,000 baht to their girlfriend it's about the same cost as hiring a hotel manager. In western cost of living standards it'd be the same as paying your girlfriend $3,000 U.S. a month to sit around the house. You have to be the biggest moron in the world to pay your girlfriend.

Don't listen to the poverty sob stories. This isn't sub-saharan Africa there are plenty of legitimate jobs out there.

Edited March 1, 2007 by wintermute

[OlRedEyes]

What are the odds that she is being honest/legit,.. 10% ?

There is a long standing Thai tradition of scamming Farangs.

They consider us lowlifes, crass, stupid, rich, Barbarians, deserving to be fleeced.

These girls troll until a sucker comes along, then lie, lie, lie. No shame.

Chances are, she and her boyfriend are laughing their as*s off every time they go to the ATM.

Getting drunk, gambling and sleeping in till 2PM every day.

If they had an opportunity, they would take it all, leave you broke.

Has anyone ever accused you of being cynical, Skipper?

That is however, the BG manifesto. Sometimes its difficult to be cynical enough in LOS.

Hey, I went to a seminar on positive thinking but the teacher sucked and they served shittty coffee.

Actually, i don't think you're cynical at all. I think you are overoptimistic. 10% chance she's honest/legit? I'd go way below that.

[kmart]

What are the odds that she is being honest/legit,.. 10% ?

There is a long standing Thai tradition of scamming Farangs.

They consider us lowlifes, crass, stupid, rich, Barbarians, deserving to be fleeced.

These girls troll until a sucker comes along, then lie, lie, lie. No shame.

Chances are, she and her boyfriend are laughing their as*s off every time they go to the ATM.

Getting drunk, gambling and sleeping in till 2PM every day.

If they had an opportunity, they would take it all, leave you broke.

Has anyone ever accused you of being cynical, Skipper?

That is however, the BG manifesto. Sometimes its difficult to be cynical enough in LOS.

Hey, I went to a seminar on positive thinking but the teacher sucked and they served shittty coffee.

[Furbie]

Why not just send her an extra ATM card and your pin code? That way, she can withdraw what she needs every month (day) and you don't have to wrestle with the big questions about honesty and expectations, and she can stop sending you the same old lies about needing ridiculous sums of money (though I admit the car racing was one I never heard – you should send her the money for that just for the originality of it). It will save both you and her a lot of time – she can clean you out faster, you can discover that she will disappear as soon as the money does.

Too be clear – unless she is your mia luang or mia noi, don't giver her money. If you live overseas, never give her money unless she is your wife. I hope that clears up the Thai custom for you.

[wintermute]

^^^ Better yet write out a life insurance policy add her as a beneficiary and count down the days.

[Heng]

What are the odds that she is being honest/legit,.. 10% ?

There is a long standing Thai tradition of scamming Farangs.

Chances are, she and her boyfriend are laughing their as*s off every time they go to the ATM.

Getting drunk, gambling and sleeping in till 2PM every day.

If they had an opportunity, they would take it all, leave you broke.

Yes, as evidenced by the long queues of locals laughing theire as*es off at the local atm.

2pm? The kids maybe. 24-7-365 more like it! Yao pai! Yao pai!

As for the last part.... don't forget about the thousands of falangs kept around on life support for the potential monthy pension and social security payments. You'd be suprised how long a person can live on blended 'nam wah' bananas.

[kmart]

I wonder if Michael Schumacher ever had to call overseas for financial aid...?

[old wanderer]

Tilokarat:

Tough crowd here on the board. If you are happy helping her, do it. There are a lot of really cynical people that post here.

When I decided to get married 10 years ago, boy did some of my expat friends jump all over me, predicting the worse of doom and gloom.

Well 10 years later I have no regrets about my marriage. I had lunch 2 days ago with another farang, and he has been married for 20 years to his wife. However we both agree that 90% of these Thai/Farang marriages fall apart.

If you are happy and your wife is happy then you will succeed. God know I've had enough practice as this is marriage #5 for me. But practice does make perfect as this is my last. (Maybe I was a slow learner??).

[steveromagnino]

What are the odds that she is being honest/legit,.. 10% ?

There is a long standing Thai tradition of scamming Farangs.

They consider us lowlifes, crass, stupid, rich, Barbarians, deserving to be fleeced.

These girls troll until a sucker comes along, then lie, lie, lie. No shame.

Chances are, she and her boyfriend are laughing their as*s off every time they go to the ATM.

Getting drunk, gambling and sleeping in till 2PM every day.

If they had an opportunity, they would take it all, leave you broke.

Order for table 2: Lemon Lime and Skipper.

I'll have what he is having. ;_)

Actually, in this case I think the odds of legitimacy sound rather low. 10% or less. Most likely less.

[smartecosse]

So in otherwords if someone is paying 50,000 baht to their girlfriend it's about the same cost as hiring a hotel manager. In western cost of living standards it'd be the same as paying your girlfriend $3,000 U.S. a month to sit around the house. You have to be the biggest moron in the world to pay your girlfriend.

Don't listen to the poverty sob stories. This isn't sub-saharan Africa there are plenty of legitimate jobs out there.

this "pay the girlfriend" really cracks me up. Why are you "paying" your g/f, dont you mean that if you pay by the month then you get it cheaper than per night? Bit like renting a scooter, 300 a day or 2500 a month. If its your g/f you shouldn't have to pay them anything at all

on the other hand as a busniess arrangement 10K a month would buy you a lot of things

my partners friends over the road all work in a massage palour. There are 4 girls there. The lowest income is about 30k a month from "boyfriends" and two of them get over 100k a month as they have a collection of them.

One girl even has 3 different bikes that she rents out to her friends that have been bought by 3 of the "boyfriends" I often wonder how she rememembers which one bought her which bike

taking money of foreigners is part of the culture here, in fact maybe someone should start franchises for the successful ways of doing it...............

[jayjayjayjay]

There sure are a lot of suckers (or trolls) in this thread. Think about it for a minute..is it acceptable to pay a girlfriend from your own country a monthly salary? Guess what..it's really not the norm in Thailand either unless it has to do with bleeding naive foreign men. I have paid exactly 0 baht except for the occasional dinner out or small gift to my girlfriend. It's not hard to filter out the money greedy skanks by refusing to be taken for a ride.

No, I did not think it was a Thai custom to pay for all of the girlfriend's expenses. This did not make sense, and I am not going to do it.

She has told me that she has to act like a man for her son. If she is not tough, she worries that he will become soft. But, yes, I am having trouble with this thought of her racing cars. It seems a little too extreme. However....

Again, thanks everyone for your comments and advice, I will check the site again tomorrow.

Whatever. I'm pretty sure you're a troll regardless.

would be hard to believe he's not....... but then, maybe we've seen too much over the years!!

[jayjayjayjay]

Why not just send her an extra ATM card and your pin code? That way, she can withdraw what she needs every month (day) and you don't have to wrestle with the big questions about honesty and expectations, and she can stop sending you the same old lies about needing ridiculous sums of money (though I admit the car racing was one I never heard – you should send her the money for that just for the originality of it). It will save both you and her a lot of time – she can clean you out faster, you can discover that she will disappear as soon as the money does.

Too be clear – unless she is your mia luang or mia noi, don't giver her money. If you live overseas, never give her money unless she is your wife. I hope that clears up the Thai custom for you.

Furbie, I'll join you down at Bira for race day. Maybe she can take us out for a night in Pattaya. recon she'd have plenty of friends in that neck of the woods.

[kmart]

Why not just send her an extra ATM card and your pin code? That way, she can withdraw what she needs every month (day) and you don't have to wrestle with the big questions about honesty and expectations, and she can stop sending you the same old lies about needing ridiculous sums of money (though I admit the car racing was one I never heard – you should send her the money for that just for the originality of it). It will save both you and her a lot of time – she can clean you out faster, you can discover that she will disappear as soon as the money does.

Too be clear – unless she is your mia luang or mia noi, don't giver her money. If you live overseas, never give her money unless she is your wife. I hope that clears up the Thai custom for you.

Furbie, I'll join you down at Bira for race day. Maybe she can take us out for a night in Pattaya. recon she'd have plenty of friends in that neck of the woods.

You mean the "pit crew?"

[Maizefarmer]

Hi! I (a farang from Canada) have a Thai girlfriend in Udon Thani who I have been sending money to on a monthly basis. She is quite satisfied with this arrangement, but her very wealthy sister in Washington, D.C. expects that I should be paying for all of my girlfriend's expenses such as a new car, a new motorcycle, an airconditioner and so on. The sister has explained that it is the Thai custom for the boyfriend to pay all expenses for the girlfriend prior to marriage. By the way, this will be the second marriage for my girlfriend, and she has one son. Is the sister correct? Is it a Thai custom for a boyfriend to pay everything before marriage to his girlfriend? The sister in Washington, D.C. thinks that I should be sending around 40,000 baht a month, which seems rather steep.

This custom, if true, is news to me. From my experience, most of the Thai men who married had little money, and poor jobs and the Thai girlfriends did not expect the man to pay all expenses. And the farangs that I know who have become engaged to Thai women do not pay everything for their Thai fiancees. So far, I am resisting the pressure to send more money than I already am on the basis that my girlfriend and her son do not become my full responsibility until we are married. Consequently, the sister in Washington is advising my girlfriend to 'finish with this Canadian'!

I would appreciate any comments and advice that anyone can provide.

Thank you.

Tell the sister in Canada you are "finish with this Thai girl" - this has scam written written all over it -top to bottom, and from what you have said, its hardly as if this much of a genuine relationship to start with.... go on, tell us how you met her (some or business conferance perhaps?).

MF

[buriramboy]

Hi! I (a farang from Canada) have a Thai girlfriend in Udon Thani who I have been sending money to on a monthly basis. She is quite satisfied with this arrangement, but her very wealthy sister in Washington, D.C. expects that I should be paying for all of my girlfriend's expenses such as a new car, a new motorcycle, an airconditioner and so on. The sister has explained that it is the Thai custom for the boyfriend to pay all expenses for the girlfriend prior to marriage. By the way, this will be the second marriage for my girlfriend, and she has one son. Is the sister correct? Is it a Thai custom for a boyfriend to pay everything before marriage to his girlfriend? The sister in Washington, D.C. thinks that I should be sending around 40,000 baht a month, which seems rather steep.

This custom, if true, is news to me. From my experience, most of the Thai men who married had little money, and poor jobs and the Thai girlfriends did not expect the man to pay all expenses. And the farangs that I know who have become engaged to Thai women do not pay everything for their Thai fiancees. So far, I am resisting the pressure to send more money than I already am on the basis that my girlfriend and her son do not become my full responsibility until we are married. Consequently, the sister in Washington is advising my girlfriend to 'finish with this Canadian'!

I would appreciate any comments and advice that anyone can provide.

Thank you.

Tell the sister in Canada you are "finish with this Thai girl" - this has scam written written all over it -top to bottom, and from what you have said, its hardly as if this much of a genuine relationship to start with.... go on, tell us how you met her (some or business conferance perhaps?).

MF

i think its pretty obvious that they met at university while completing the final year of their MA's in nuclear physics and neither of them has ever set foot in a bar. Just my humble opinion.

BB

Edited March 1, 2007 by buriramboy

[ThaidleHands]

Cut off the money for a month or two and see what happens.

[chiang mai]

Well the sister is keeping with the local tradition as concerned to farang relationships.

I would almost adventure to say before you come onto the scene, the child stayed with the grandparents and the girl worked in a toursit area.

She is stinking rich at 40K baht a month and few jobs pay that in the area she lives in and is

probably in the top 2% of income for the area.

Her sister should not be in your business and hope you can handle more of it to come in the future.

You are providing for new house and what not for the family at 40K. Air-Con equals maybe 2K baht a month which most likely will be the first one in the family. New car, are you nuts, what is wrong with taxi at 20 baht maybe 30 with higher fuel cost now days. What did they have before the cash cow,

you.

Money, Family and Farang is somewhere down the line of importance, hope you can deal with it.

The sister is trying to lower the amount she sends back to the family. Thai men would hardley accept

a girl with another mans child and if so the girl would be paying the expenses 90% of the time.

Hi! Thanks for the comments. My girlfriend has got a Honda Jazz. Apparently, she is going to upgrade it to racing ability. I do not know how well this car will perform as a racing car. She will then enter it in a race of some kind. The kicker is that she will be driving the thing! She is an excellent driver, and can handle the big trucks that ply the highways, but this is going to be on a racing track at high speeds, not on the highway or in Udon. Why is she going to do this? To earn more money so she does not have to rely on the sister in Washington.

This is all too wild to even contemplate. I reckon we are being trolled.

[jbsears]

Where do you race cars in Thailand? I've never heard of any race tracks here. Would be sort of interesting to watch since the regular drivers here drive like NASCAR drivers.

[Khun ?]

Single mother with no work or income has a car, not likely, it is her lazy boyfriends and the sister

is helping her accumulate a income for the both and playing you also. Maybe the sister has said nothing

and is being used for the story line. These girls, boyfriends can be really stupid smart when it comes to

living on the side off a farang.

You notice how the sister who probably does not work already has a house and maybe the car is hers

also. Soon as she can figure out how to keep an income from her D.C. marriage she will dump him and move onto another.

Gold diggers with no morals and unbelievable lies.

[Sakeopete]

I don't know how well you know your girlfriend and not all Thai women do this but as a fellow Canuck living in Thailand for 5 years I can tell you that scamming foreigners in long distance relationships is not only common it is a career choice. I’m surprised they don’t offer courses on it at the local schools. Entire villages are in on it not just family members and no one would dare warn a foreigner as the retribution from taking away a Thai family’s income could be harsh. Caveat Emptor, when getting involved in long distance relationships. It burns me to see falangs get screwed but there is nothing I can do without putting my family at risk.

I don’t know why foreigners lose their common sense but you should approach a relationship the same way you would at home before committing to it. I am married to a Thai but I took the time to get to know her and especially her family before I made any commitments. Remember the mango doesn’t fall far from the tree and falang husbands are a low member in a Thai family hierarchy. The family yields a great deal of influence over their children. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement. Chok Dee!

[paulsmithson]

WOW THIS IS AGAIN SCREAMING MUG.

I know lottsa thai guys who keep their wages for themselves and wives paying ALL the bills--and they are not working as bargirls.

The new spelling of farang so often= MUG

[Maizefarmer]

Hi! I (a farang from Canada) have a Thai girlfriend in Udon Thani who I have been sending money to on a monthly basis. She is quite satisfied with this arrangement, but her very wealthy sister in Washington, D.C. expects that I should be paying for all of my girlfriend's expenses such as a new car, a new motorcycle, an airconditioner and so on. The sister has explained that it is the Thai custom for the boyfriend to pay all expenses for the girlfriend prior to marriage. By the way, this will be the second marriage for my girlfriend, and she has one son. Is the sister correct? Is it a Thai custom for a boyfriend to pay everything before marriage to his girlfriend? The sister in Washington, D.C. thinks that I should be sending around 40,000 baht a month, which seems rather steep.

This custom, if true, is news to me. From my experience, most of the Thai men who married had little money, and poor jobs and the Thai girlfriends did not expect the man to pay all expenses. And the farangs that I know who have become engaged to Thai women do not pay everything for their Thai fiancees. So far, I am resisting the pressure to send more money than I already am on the basis that my girlfriend and her son do not become my full responsibility until we are married. Consequently, the sister in Washington is advising my girlfriend to 'finish with this Canadian'!

I would appreciate any comments and advice that anyone can provide.

Thank you.

Tell the sister in Canada you are "finish with this Thai girl" - this has scam written written all over it -top to bottom, and from what you have said, its hardly as if this much of a genuine relationship to start with.... go on, tell us how you met her (some or business conferance perhaps?).

MF

i think its pretty obvious that they met at university while completing the final year of their MA's in nuclear physics and neither of them has ever set foot in a bar. Just my humble opinion.

BB

I'd go along with that - or similar.

MF

[Tilokarat]

Why not just send her an extra ATM card and your pin code? That way, she can withdraw what she needs every month (day) and you don't have to wrestle with the big questions about honesty and expectations, and she can stop sending you the same old lies about needing ridiculous sums of money (though I admit the car racing was one I never heard – you should send her the money for that just for the originality of it). It will save both you and her a lot of time – she can clean you out faster, you can discover that she will disappear as soon as the money does.

Too be clear – unless she is your mia luang or mia noi, don't giver her money. If you live overseas, never give her money unless she is your wife. I hope that clears up the Thai custom for you.

This was a very humourous response, and thank you for addressing my question about the Thai custom.

I guess I did not make myself very clear at the beginning. My girlfriend has not been asking for any money from me. She has told me to save it for when we are married and living in Canada. However, her sister in Washington has put pressure on her by demanding that the farang pay for all of her expenses (son's private school, her root canal, the car, the motorcycle, the air conditioning and so on). The sister said it is the Thai custom for a boyfriend to pay all expenses for a girlfriend prior to the marriage. I do not believe it, and that is why I raised the question here. I also told my girlfriend that I would not pay anything toward a new car and motorcycle as I do not see them as legitimate expenses when she might be living in Canada within a year. She accepted that, and pointed out that she never asked me money for the car.

Her sister is married to a very wealthy farang, and wants to ensure that her sister, who she looks after like a mother, and her nephew, who she treats as a grandson, have a very comfortable life. There is nothing wrong with that. I would expect that my girlfriend would hope that her life is comfortable with me, although she realises it would not be as comfortable as her sister wants it to be. Up to this point the sister has paid for all expenses of my girlfriend and her son. My girlfriend indicated she makes about 200 baht a day for grooming dogs, and she gets 500 baht for each dog she trains for entry in a competition.

The sister is putting pressure on my girlfriend to 'finish with me' because I will not pay all expenses prior to marriage. I was in Udon Thani when she had dental problems and know that she has to undergo root canal treatment.

I do not know where she will test drive the car for a race, and cannot quite remember the details. But it is something along the lines of showing that she can drive at very high speeds for ten minutes or so. If she passes this test, she can enter a competition.

I do not intend to be an ATM for anyone, but I do not mind helping out for the root canal treatment. I do not pay for her son's private education in Udon either.

Again, she is asking me to save money for our future, that I do not need to send her any money, but the sister in Washington is saying unless I do pay for all of her expenses, she should drop me. And the sister is putting enormous pressure on her. My girlfriend said her sister can be angry in a thousand different voices and she uses everyone.

I have to consider whether a marriage to me would be taking too many benefits away from her, without giving enough back. My girlfriend explained that she does not have to live a comfortable life like her sister, who is used to high living. But, she is feeling the pressure from her sister. The sister has issued warnings such as, marry this particular farang and you will be cut off from me forever. I do not think this would happen, but you never know. And it would be devastating for my girlfriend and her son, if the sister ever did disassociate herself from them.

Thanks so much for the laughs, and the advice!

By the way, we are having a full-scale blizzard in Toronto at this moment, but it has warmed up to -2!

[Tilokarat]

Hi! I (a farang from Canada) have a Thai girlfriend in Udon Thani who I have been sending money to on a monthly basis. She is quite satisfied with this arrangement, but her very wealthy sister in Washington, D.C. expects that I should be paying for all of my girlfriend's expenses such as a new car, a new motorcycle, an airconditioner and so on. The sister has explained that it is the Thai custom for the boyfriend to pay all expenses for the girlfriend prior to marriage. By the way, this will be the second marriage for my girlfriend, and she has one son. Is the sister correct? Is it a Thai custom for a boyfriend to pay everything before marriage to his girlfriend? The sister in Washington, D.C. thinks that I should be sending around 40,000 baht a month, which seems rather steep.

This custom, if true, is news to me. From my experience, most of the Thai men who married had little money, and poor jobs and the Thai girlfriends did not expect the man to pay all expenses. And the farangs that I know who have become engaged to Thai women do not pay everything for their Thai fiancees. So far, I am resisting the pressure to send more money than I already am on the basis that my girlfriend and her son do not become my full responsibility until we are married. Consequently, the sister in Washington is advising my girlfriend to 'finish with this Canadian'!

I would appreciate any comments and advice that anyone can provide.

Thank you.

Tell the sister in Canada you are "finish with this Thai girl" - this has scam written written all over it -top to bottom, and from what you have said, its hardly as if this much of a genuine relationship to start with.... go on, tell us how you met her (some or business conferance perhaps?).

MF

Thanks. We met over the internet at a site called, Cherry Blossoms. I went to Udon Thani to meet her in December and returned to Toronto in mid-January. My girlfriend drove me around Udon, and various sites in her nephew's pick-up truck. For example, we went to Ban Chiang and met her brother, some aunts and an uncle. The uncle, by the way, has a winery, and sells bottles of mango, ginger, and mangosteen wine for 200 baht a bottle. Obviously, he is not making a lot of money in this business, and he finds it difficult to get the grapes to have the right red colour. But, he is an interesting man, and has worked for the Americans in Issan and Saudi Arabia as a cook. His orchard is not large, but it is worth a look if you are ever in Ban Chiang. My girlfriend's mother and father were cremated at the local wat.

We met another couple, who travelled with us. The guy is from New York and will be moving to Chiang Mai or Khon Kaen permanently in August. His Thai girlfriend works in Bangkok.

My girlfriend has a degree from Mae Joe University in Chiang Mai, and worked for three years after graduation at the elephant hospital in Lampang. She has been working with dogs ever since. I have a degree from the University of Toronto and teach at a local university, and also at a local high school. She travels to various parts of Thailand for dog competitions such as the recent ones in Chiang Mai, Khon Kaen and Kalasin. In May, she will be showing four or five dogs at a competition in Khorat. As far as I know, she has never been to Pattaya, Phuket or the other tourist sites south of Bangkok. However, she knows Issan and Lanna well. She drives the 10 hours or so that it takes her to reach Chiang Mai for competitions.

I have never spoken to the sister in the U.S. But, I have spoken to her sister in Udon Thani, who is a teacher, and her brother and relatives in Ban Chiang.

[Tilokarat]

Hi! I (a farang from Canada) have a Thai girlfriend in Udon Thani who I have been sending money to on a monthly basis. She is quite satisfied with this arrangement, but her very wealthy sister in Washington, D.C. expects that I should be paying for all of my girlfriend's expenses such as a new car, a new motorcycle, an airconditioner and so on. The sister has explained that it is the Thai custom for the boyfriend to pay all expenses for the girlfriend prior to marriage. By the way, this will be the second marriage for my girlfriend, and she has one son. Is the sister correct? Is it a Thai custom for a boyfriend to pay everything before marriage to his girlfriend? The sister in Washington, D.C. thinks that I should be sending around 40,000 baht a month, which seems rather steep.

This custom, if true, is news to me. From my experience, most of the Thai men who married had little money, and poor jobs and the Thai girlfriends did not expect the man to pay all expenses. And the farangs that I know who have become engaged to Thai women do not pay everything for their Thai fiancees. So far, I am resisting the pressure to send more money than I already am on the basis that my girlfriend and her son do not become my full responsibility until we are married. Consequently, the sister in Washington is advising my girlfriend to 'finish with this Canadian'!

I would appreciate any comments and advice that anyone can provide.

Thank you.

Tell the sister in Canada you are "finish with this Thai girl" - this has scam written written all over it -top to bottom, and from what you have said, its hardly as if this much of a genuine relationship to start with.... go on, tell us how you met her (some or business conferance perhaps?).

MF

i think its pretty obvious that they met at university while completing the final year of their MA's in nuclear physics and neither of them has ever set foot in a bar. Just my humble opinion.

BB

Sorry to say that I have never been in a bar. I do not drink, and am not interested in the bar scene. I cannot speak for my girlfriend other than to say she did not smoke or drink around me. I am a historian, not capable of handling nuclear physics. But, if you want me to talk about historical topics, well, one must be careful if one is discussing Thailand.