Who paid for the dinner with him and his parents? There could be other, more sinister (maybe financial) motives than just love here. (seems strange to be so keen in such a short time, don't you think?)

After all, this 21 year old Thai guy has his choice of millions of beautiful, young Thai girls.

That is insulting in the extreme to all of us that have or have had relationships with Thai men (and there are a lot of us on this sub-forum!). Why don't you stick to spreading your vitriol & dissatisfaction with Thailand (yes, I've read a lot of your posts) in General Topics? That type of comment is neither wanted, nor needed, here. And (he) "has his choice of millions of beautiful young Thai girls" says far more about you than this young man. I've never seen Bellatrix, I assume neither have you. So, how do you know she's not the most beautiful woman living in Thailand, bar none? She could be! And, rather than wanting finances, maybe, just maybe, Thai men who have relationships with Farang women: a- find them attractive (I have green eyes & bigger boobs than Thai women - both were a source of fascination for my BF) and b- want something different to relationships they've had before. We do have our good points, you know!

Edit - typo

Bellatrix may be the most beautiful girl in Thailand and have a great personality etc, but still, meeting both parents and mentioning serious relationships in the space of 5 days!?!

For me, serious alarm bells would be ringing if this was in any country, culture, age bracket or sex.

I've had a few of these relationships where the girl is heavily in love after a few days and acts as if we're already married.

These relationships nearly always end just as quick as they started. (look at girlx's mum, 16 marriages),whereas, the gf I have been with for a year and a half now, was a very slow starting affair; no sex for the first 4 months and meeting the parents after 1 year (and then,only because I asked to out of curiosity)

IMO, it's either an ulterior motive or the guy has some sort of personality disorder. (this is a trait of Borderline Personality Disorder)

But it still might be a wild and exciting relationship, so I'd say suck it and see.

a good friend of mine knew her husband for a long time before they got together because she was with another partner.

on the first date with this guy, he took her to meet his mother. she was not threatened by this, and she took it to mean 'i know about you and your history, but i want you to know about me too....there is no other woman in my life' sort of thing.

he is a lovely kind man and they are both hard workers. they struggle at times, but they are doing well.

they married, she converted to islam, and they have a baby on the way.

i see nothing for anyone to be worried about.

as ive said before - stop searching for negatives, and revel in the positives. maybe it will work, maybe it wont. but never try never know.

Well, this relationship might go well, or might not. After all it's up to both of them. But people have no right to jump to a conclusion and judge that the relationship will be doomed.

It will work when "both" of them want it to work.

Good luck with your decision, Bellatrix.

dgoz, I knew my husband less than 3 months before he proposed marriage. He knew I was "the one" and didn't want to lose me as he knew if he didn't do something I had plans to leave.

Funnily enough, your theories are completely wrong here, he was not interested in my money (in fact, his family has more than mine does) and we celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary in August.

So, perhaps, for some people, their preconceived notions can not only hamper their life but inhibit their ability to have a relationship.

Just a thought for the cynics out there who find they have one failed relationship after another

dgoz, I knew my husband less than 3 months before he proposed marriage. He knew I was "the one" and didn't want to lose me as he knew if he didn't do something I had plans to leave.

Funnily enough, your theories are completely wrong here, he was not interested in my money (in fact, his family has more than mine does) and we celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary in August.

So, perhaps, for some people, their preconceived notions can not only hamper their life but inhibit their ability to have a relationship.

Just a thought for the cynics out there who find they have one failed relationship after another

I can understand 3 months, but Bellatrix is saying all this stuff is happening in 5 days.

Take a financial interest out of the equation and it's still a little weird IMHO.

But I'd still advise her to go along with it if she wants. It would be interesting to see if it works out. I might be wrong, I was before ( 1978 I think the year was)

Who paid for the dinner with him and his parents? There could be other, more sinister (maybe financial) motives than just love here. (seems strange to be so keen in such a short time, don't you think?)

After all, this 21 year old Thai guy has his choice of millions of beautiful, young Thai girls.

You've been reading too many bargirl stories. Best part of reading this section is the noticible absense of the "they only want your money" attitudes.

Watch out her BF sounds like my GF brother.

I might be wrong, I was before ( 1978 I think the year was)

I agree, 5 days is too fast, but for some people, when it hits, it hits. He may be afraid of her leaving, as so many farang do, so is hoping to get some kind of commitment now.

Thanks for everyone's comments. I guess I ought to clarify, that by serious relationship, he was formally asking me to be his girlfriend, rather than asking when I'd bear his firstborn. And of course the whole meet the family, frequent phonecalls, I miss you, when can I see you? blablabla thing which you (or maybe I! haha!) don't really get from Western boys at the start of the relationship.

Re: the dinner issue, every time we go out for dinner, he pays, and when I ate with his father, his father paid. I also went out for dinner with his mum and stepdad on the weekend, and they paid.

Furthermore, I'm earning a Thai salary, so perhaps his family have their eyes on my glamorous street-eating lifestyle! Or maybe it's my 4,000 baht "studio" apartment! Regardless, I don't have too much to worry about on that front.

I'm taking everything easy and don't worry I'm not getting married, sending money for buffaloes etc, relax He is definitely more openly keen than Western boys I've dated before, but they don't seem to have a 3 day rule etc here anyway.

Edited March 6, 200719 yr by Bellatrix

Bellatrix, neither are they as terrified of the dreaded "C" word as western guys

Bellatrix, neither are they as terrified of the dreaded "C" word as western guys

Yeah, I think that was what I was getting at On the other hand, I retain a healthy western terror

My mate new a girl for 2 weeks and got married, he has 3 kids and they been married for 6 years and there a great couple.

Some people just click.

My mate new a girl for 2 weeks and got married, he has 3 kids and they been married for 6 years and there a great couple.

Some people just click.

Bellatrix - (I am a guy) the big advantage of meeting his parents so early is that it is out of the way They have an idea about you and you about them, there is no guessing and mistery.

If they were against the relationship then you two would probably know it by now, so this part is probably out of the way as well.

When you think about it... if you meet his parents, for the first time, 10 months from now, there would be allot of preasure on that meeting.

Bellatrix, neither are they as terrified of the dreaded "C" word as western guys

Whats the 'C' word?

Bellatrix, neither are they as terrified of the dreaded "C" word as western guys

Whats the 'C' word?

I imagine the word is in your vocabulary, but perhaps not in your experience : Commitment

In my experience the secret to good relationships between Thais and westerners (romantic and otherwise) is establishing a comfortable middle ground which is neither Thai nor western but that both of you can accept...and to communicate well and often and assume nothing.

This "middle ground" actually confers a great deal of freedom to negotiate a unique set of rules for yourselves that would be difficult/impossible if either of you were dating within your own cultures.

I drifted into this thread by accident (I'm male, farang) but found myself intrigued with the views of farang women in relationships with Thai men. Also interested to note that the "age issue" is not always one way.

The above quote from Sheryl is the most succinct and accurate description of farang/Thai relationships that I have read anywhere.

Yes, relationships are different from what most people regard as the norm, but to the OP I say, don't be afraid to be different - that can add to the fun.

Yes, slow down the pace a little. If he is as keen as he appears to be that should not be a problem for him and it will give you time to evaluate both his and your true feelings and intentions.

Sheryl is right about the importance of communication. Double check your mutual understanding!!! We laugh about it now, but shortly after meeting my Thai girlfriend 15 years ago I expressed the view that "this could work" (meaning the relationship). It was not until a couple of years later that I found out that she understood this to mean that I was partly motivated by wanting her to work for me!

Good luck, Bellatrix.

Ahh, see we guys have a different 'C' word.

I'm taking everything easy and don't worry I'm not getting married, sending money for buffaloes etc, relax

That's priceless.