The perfect marriage

[villagefarang]

57 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

That's a complete misrepresentation of my views. I am fully aware that many foreign men come here with completely unrealistic and naive expectations that in exchange for financial support they will magically acquire the life partner of their dreams.

Who is misrepresenting now?????

[cranki]

10 minutes ago, geronimo said:

wasn't boasting, just wanted to know if there are other guys who are happy with their partners.

I think you'll find a lot of the posters on here aren't interested in good marriage stories....they much prefer when things go t!ts up, only then do they salivate at their keyboards and their hands start to creep down over their abdominal obesity in an effort to do gods knows what.....lol

[Gecko123]

On a positive note....

 

A couple of things I've noticed over the years on these marital bliss threads...

 

There are always a few old timers who come out of the woods for these threads to report that they have been married 30, 40 even 50 years to their Thai wives, and I really do think that some of those early on relationships may have benefitted from the Thai wife having a deeper sense of spousal loyalty and a more traditional commitment to the marriage than the more transient approach to marriage many people have today.

 

I've also observed in real-life, and from comments from posters, that in marriages where the foreign guy is gone for long periods of time the quality of the interaction when they are together seems to be better. The classic example is a guy who works on an off-shore oil rig, but I have observed this with guys who are long-haul truck drivers, or work overseas for stretches at a time.

 

I mention this because it is very common in rural Thailand for men to take employment away from the village, sometimes for months, sometimes for seemingly indefinite stretches. If anyone is on this thread looking for tips on how to improve their relationship with their Thai wife, I would recommend developing hobbies and activities which give both of you alone time, so that the time you appreciate the time you do spend together more. I don't think many Thai women are accustomed to having their husbands constantly hovering around all day.

[Mavideol]

12 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

i'm afraid your candor has made you an easy target for those with a need to perhaps feel superior. Getting divorced doesn't make you a loser, just as never getting married. or never having kids doesn't make you a loser.

 

You didn't say anyone who claims to be happily married is lying through their teeth. You merely pointed out - quite accurately, I might add - that it is easy to paint a one-sided rosy picture of your marriage on the internet and that one's spouse, if given the chance, might give a less glowing report. I agree that perfect people are rare and so-called perfect marriages are rarer still. How often have we seen reports in the media of couples previously lauded as "perfect" only to discover that behind closed doors things were radically different? 

 

I am speaking up in your defense because the honesty you showed needs to be encouraged, not belittled.

 

At least somebody understands, thanks and just adding to my previous comment, I didn't divorce 4 x, my first wife try to kill me with a marble ashtray after 6 months because she was an alcoholic and drug addicted,  I divorced, second wife dies during surgery thus widow the 3rd one cheated, stole, verbal and physical abuse, the sheriff called me at 3 am as they arrested her DUI my 4th wife still with me, although good marriage with ups and downs but we keep going for the past 10 years, but again nothing is perfect unless and what makes me sad is to see people lying and come here to TV pretending to be something they are not and acting as superior to others, am 66 years old and have been all around the world, lived and worked on many different countries, made many friends in many of those countries because one has to be humble and accept other opinions, appreciate you taking the time to send your previous reply, thanks

[madmen]

Forums are the same as Facebook where absolutely everyone has the most amazing partner ..the most amazing family..the most gorgeous children..The best career

 

Everyone so grateful and fortunate LOL but I know some of these gorgeous loving families in real life and the truth is so far removed it's actually fiction.  Its human nature , let's face it nobody is going to say my wife is a total <deleted> 

[marcusarelus]

4 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

On a positive note....

 

A couple of things I've noticed over the years on these marital bliss threads...

 

There are always a few old timers who come out of the woods for these threads to report that they have been married 30, 40 even 50 years to their Thai wives, and I really do think that some of those early on relationships may have benefitted from the Thai wive having a deeper sense of spousal loyalty and a more traditional commitment to the marriage than the more transient approach to marriage many people have today.

 

I've also observed in real-life, and from comments from posters that in marriages where the foreign guy is gone for long periods of time the quality of the interaction when they are together seems to be better. The classic example is a guy who works on an off-shore oil rig, but I have observed this with guys who are long-haul truck drivers or work overseas for stretches at a time.

 

I mention this because it is very common in rural Thailand for men to take employment away from the village, sometimes for months, sometimes for seemingly indefinite stretches. If anyone is on this thread looking for tips on how to improve their relationship with their Thai wife, I would recommend developing hobbies and activities which give both of you alone time, so that the time you appreciate the time you do spend together more. I don't think many Thai women are accustomed to having their husbands constantly hovering around all day.

We all could talk about other people or hearsay stuff but what about you?  Give us the advantage of your own experience.

[cornishcarlos]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

Kind of a snowflakey complaint, Carlos. Do you need a "safe place", maybe a "happily married forum", like a by-invitation-only forum for women? Seriously, maybe you should be the one to organize that marriage retreat. Exactly how am I bringing you down? By telling you my honest opinions? If it's all warped and twisted sewer rat natterings, should be going in one ear and out the other. Sorry, but if you're asking me to stop being honest, no can do. Just put me on ignore, if it upsets you so much.

 

Snowflake, classic... I don't believe I've ever needed a safe place, in life or on a forum !! I actually did set up a swinging tours company a few years back, so maybe I am the man for the job ????

You didn't bring me down brother, it just makes me smile...

[marcusarelus]

1 hour ago, BobBKK said:

Who needs a "my wonderful wife" thread?  I've heard it a million times and most end up in the garbage bin. If you are happy, great!  no need to boast about it.

Bob most stories are about she done me wrong, immigration are terrible and the 7/11 clerk robbed me for 3 baht change.  The OP wanted a change and to hear from guys who have good instead of the bad (statistically 8 to 1) stories.  I guess you have a bad one too or none -  sorry about that but the rest of us are not bragging.  

 

 

[rumak]

7 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I leaned never to trust the woman you're sleeping with.

that's why it's called getting screwed....

[geronimo]

2 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Bob most stories are about she done me wrong, immigration are terrible and the 7/11 clerk robbed me for 3 baht change.  The OP wanted a change and to hear from guys who have good instead of the bad (statistically 8 to 1) stories.  I guess you have a bad one too or none -  sorry about that but the rest of us are not bragging.  

 

 

I guess the half glass empty guys are out in force, thx for the vote of support!

[Mavideol]

4 minutes ago, madmen said:

Forums are the same as Facebook where absolutely everyone has the most amazing partner ..the most amazing family..the most gorgeous children..The best career

 

Everyone so grateful and fortunate LOL but I know some of these gorgeous loving families in real life and the truth is so far removed it's actually fiction.  Its human nature , let's face it nobody is going to say my wife is a total <deleted> 

agree with you..... and some of those so loving & caring, rich, well educated post here in TV but the majority of them are lying and afraid of looking weak if telling the truth, it's common behavior for people to pretend to be somebody else, something else, pretending to have something that in reality they don't have and since posting in TV is anonymous they can pretend to be who/what they want for that period of time, some maybe post here at TV to hide from their poor real miserable low life

[Gecko123]

17 minutes ago, villagefarang said:

Who is misrepresenting now?????

Below is a direct quote from my post. I said that Thais are re-evaluating the pros and cons and advisability of getting involved in romantic and marital liaisons with foreigners as well. The main body of my post addressed the pitfalls from the standpoint of a foreigner because the audience on this forum are all foreigners.

 

But I could just as easily talked about the re-evaluation process from the standpoint of a Thai woman: age differences, health care issues, communication issues, money management, temperament, religious beliefs, family relations, psychological issues, etc., etc. I'm surprised you think I'm blaming everything on Thai women. I see this strictly as a cultural compatibility issue, without making any ethnocentric judgment about which side is right or wrong.

 

 

3 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

I think that there is a serious rethinking going on right now both in Thai and Western culture about how well-suited Thais and Westerners are for romantic and marital relationships.

 

[geronimo]

Just now, Mavideol said:

agree with you..... and some of those so loving & caring, rich, well educated post here in TV but the majority of them are lying and afraid of looking weak if telling the truth, it's common behavior for people to pretend to be somebody else, something else, pretending to have something that in reality they don't have and since posting in TV is anonymous they can pretend to be who/what they want for that period of time, some maybe post here at TV to hide from their poor real miserable low life

So, you're saying a rose can't possibly be a rose?

[Mavideol]

1 minute ago, geronimo said:

So, you're saying a rose can't possibly be a rose?

it all depends on the type of rose...

[villagefarang]

Reading the glass half empty posts, I am not the least surprised why these guys have fared so miserably in the relationship department.

[geronimo]

I do know one thing, if you put a few hundred people in a huge room, after an hour or two, all the negs would congregate at one end, while the positive people would be on the other side of the room. Laws of attraction I guess.

[Gecko123]

16 minutes ago, cornishcarlos said:

 

Snowflake, classic... I don't believe I've ever needed a safe place, in life or on a forum !! I actually did set up a swinging tours company a few years back, so maybe I am the man for the job ????

You didn't bring me down brother, it just makes me smile...

Good. So kwitchurbitchin, and if you don't have anything nice to say about anyone, pull up a chair.

[villagefarang]

4 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

Below is a direct quote from my post. I said that Thais are re-evaluating the pros and cons and advisability of getting involved in romantic and marital liaisons with foreigners as well. The main body of my post addressed the pitfalls from the standpoint of a foreigner because the audience on this forum are all foreigners.

 

But I could just as easily talked about the re-evaluation process from the standpoint of a Thai woman: age differences, health care issues, communication issues, money management, temperament, religious beliefs, family relations, psychological issues, etc., etc. I'm surprised you think I'm blaming everything on Thai women. I see this strictly as a cultural compatibility issue, without making any ethnocentric judgment about which side is right or wrong.

 

 

 

You have been pretty judgmental in putting down those who have good relationships.

[rumak]

1 hour ago, BobBKK said:

Who needs a "my wonderful wife" thread?  I've heard it a million times and most end up in the garbage bin. If you are happy, great!  no need to boast about it.

and boast and boast and boast !   truly happy and confident people would not need to wait for these threads to repost their wonderful stories , especially when they are known to try to put down others who

do not share similar views.  THAT is the main reason these threads turn ugly..... the passive aggressive use of derogatory terms to back up views is nothing more than childish name-calling.  Many here see it for what it is and are not misogamists or bitter or losers or any other label.  Just people giving their opinions and experiences. 

[steven100]

Just now, rumak said:

and boast and boast and boast !   truly happy and confident people would not need to wait for these threads to repost their wonderful stories , especially when they are known to try to put down others who

do not share similar views.  THAT is the main reason these threads turn ugly..... the passive aggressive use of derogatory terms to back up views is nothing more than childish name-calling.  Many here see it for what it is and are not misogamists or bitter or any other label.  Just people giving their opinions

as I said ......   sounds just like the Brady bunch

[geronimo]

2 minutes ago, steven100 said:

as I said ......   sounds just like the Brady bunch

Can't we all just be friends? ????

[Gecko123]

And adding to Rumak's comments, the self-appointed king of the ex-pat lepers shtick grates on my nerves as well.

[rumak]

4 minutes ago, geronimo said:

Can't we all just be friends? ????

that has not worked so well....since the time long before geronimo.

[Odysseus123]

4 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

And adding to Rumak's comments, the self-appointed king of the ex-pat lepers shtick grates on my nerves as well.

It's about us being humans-we rub along you know?

 

Nothing is perfect.

[rumak]

5 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

And adding to Rumak's comments, the self-appointed king of the ex-pat lepers shtick grates on my nerves as well.

 Amen !    (though i can't imagine who that might be )     ????????

[geronimo]

Just now, rumak said:

that has not worked so well....since the time long before geronimo.

You're right. I remember the white man giving my people blankets laced with disease, and the bison (who we lived with the hundreds of years) were senselessly slaughtered by the winchester!

[Airalee]

19 minutes ago, rumak said:

and boast and boast and boast !   truly happy and confident people would not need to wait for these threads to repost their wonderful stories , especially when they are known to try to put down others who

do not share similar views.  THAT is the main reason these threads turn ugly..... the passive aggressive use of derogatory terms to back up views is nothing more than childish name-calling.  Many here see it for what it is and are not misogamists or bitter or losers or any other label.  Just people giving their opinions and experiences. 

I have noticed that also.  The passive aggressive putdowns especially when they cast the blanket of blame over the guys and then go on to tell us about their wonderful lives.

 

I’m not sure if it is so much as they have the perfect relationships/homes/lives/toys (it’s not just the perfect relationships they put on display) as much as it is a textbook display of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

[rumak]

3 minutes ago, geronimo said:

You're right. I remember the white man giving my people blankets laced with disease, and the bison (who we lived with the hundreds of years) were senselessly slaughtered by the winchester!

why live in the past when their is so much misery right here in the present ?   OMMMMM

 

but please don't call me a pessimist now.   it just ain't true !

[geronimo]

1 minute ago, rumak said:

why live in the past when their is so much misery right here in the present ?   OMMMMM

 

but please don't call me a pessimist now.   it just ain't true !

Tomahawk was hung up years ago, I let bygones be bygones.

 

[rumak]

3 minutes ago, geronimo said:

Tomahawk was hung up years ago, I let bygones be bygones.

 

my "tomahawk" was just hung up recently   lol

thankfully i have my wonderful. beautiful all knowing and seeing wife who scales tall buildings.... oops,

sorry, there i go again