Will be doing the retirement visa thing in Thailand in a few short years, but DECIDING on which of these three places to move to is driving me batty.

I see the good and bad in all three, and of course know it depends on what is important to the individual, but it is still a difficult choice.

I have been to all three numerous times, and Bangkok is out, even though I enjoy my time there, I don't see it as a retirement destination.

Anyway, here are my pros and cons for these three, based on what I know now, which is obviously less than people who have lived there, which is why I am posting, hoping to get some of the famous strong opinions available here.

Pattaya/Jomtein:

Pros -- on the water, lots of tropical fruits, lots of nightlife, least amount of culture shock for American expats, decent infrastructure, convenient, cheap baht buses, close enough to Bangkok, cheaper living costs than Phuket

Cons -- Thai food not as good as the "real" Thailand, and more expensive, sex industry and sleaze factor fun for holiday, maybe too much for residency, most Thais in on the game, hard to find romance outside commercial scene, hotter than Chiang Mai, no city type cultural stuff, only beach resort, sex tourist entertainment

Chiang Mai:

Pros: cooler during some seasons, good Thai food, pretty mountain views, good size city, big enough to have some cultural attractions, feels more like the real Thailand, small enough to not be as hectic as Bangkok, transport OK and taxi meters are coming, potentially better chance for romance outside commercial scene because commercial scene is so minimal, cheaper living costs than Phuket or Pattaya, great housing choices in houses outside the city, good medical care, shopping malls, etc.

Cons: slower and boring, fewer tropical fruits, bad air pollution, traffic getting worse every year, provincial, North Thai dialect different than standard central Thai, far from Bangkok, need private transport if living outside the city core, but the city core very polluted, songthaews confusing compared to Pattaya

Phuket

Pros: Hawaii like atmosphere is some parts, good seafood, southern Thai culture, good infrastucture, pretty, ocean, swimming, full time vacation feel

Cons: most expensive, most humid, Patong is in some ways a ###### hole (crazy katoey thieves on motorcycles, etc.), people on the make moneywise more than average, transport by taxi a major rip off, resort island living could get tedious (not offering the cultural things a city like Chiang Mai can offer), far from Bangkok, higher terrorist threat (beheadings are such a drag), movies only in ugly Phuket town

Well, I know I have rambled. I included Phuket largely because of a friend who lives there, my most likely choice is between Pattaya and Chiang Mai.

Anyone, rants, opinions, feedback, etc. are most welcome.

at the end of the day the choice is yours but as a suggestion, come back to pattaya for a few days and you will see that it offers alot more than what you think.

Check out Hua Hin, much quieter and not seedy.

I LOVE HUA HIN

Your post answers the question for you. Boring is what any hometown is when you live there long enough. All your other cons on CMX are alleviated by living a mere 10 km or less from the city center. Future is bright for infrastructure as it is Taksins hometown.

I visit Pataya for a short week every three months for "fun", beach, etc. Usually overnight in BKK for additional recreation. A great balance.