My friend dating with Thai guys pls help

[namlee264]

I've noticed most posters on this forum are males. So your opinions on Thai females are also welcome.

The reason I'm asking this, is that a friend of mine, this Japanese girl(I call her Shion, who was in the same high school abroad) had been dating a Thai man for the last few years. Recently they had a fallen-out. So she moved on and is now on her own in Bangkok. However the Thai guy seemed very eager to get her back. But she's been telling me about her serious concerns regarding this man. But this is the first Thai she met/dated, so  the stuff she says about him might not apply to the other Thais in general.

 

So the biggest concern of hers is his dishonesty ><. Like many Thais(her BF was Chinese Thai born and raised in Thailand), he seems very polite and caring. But often when things don't go so smoothly he would still try to cover things up instead of talking things out with her. This frustrates her a lot. His family also insisted on sweeping things under the carpet whenever something bad(usually for her) happens. And this doesn't help preventing future misfortunes happening to her at all. She finds herself being lied to by her bf, his family, over and over. Sometimes over the pettiest things. It almost seems like they just love to <deleted> with her head. 

 

Another big issue is domestic abuse. When a problem rises and he refuses to face it with any intention of solve it, rather he would try to postpone whatever he needs to do(laziness and unreliability are two other serious flaws in him). Shion, the girl who grew up in a western society, would confront him. This really angered him, and to her surprise he eventually resorted to physical violence. Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

 

Last, he seems poorly educated with very limited intellect. To be fair, he is very good at his profession when he actually chooses to work. But most of the time it's trash TVs for him etc. In a way she's helped him expand his horizon by teaching him about the Japanese and western cultures. He seemed to be appreciating it at the time. But on his own, he would go back to his old route. 

 

To to make this sound like I'm bashing the guy, here are the pros. He's very tentative and submissive. He would prefer more than anything to take orders(not really a pro but at least he's easy-going). He would help her to the best of his abilities whenever she needs it. He tells her that he loves her everyday and keeps saying he could not live one day without her. He does have a lot of patience which really is a virtue in modern guys.

 

So I hope people won't read this the wrong way and assume I'm just doing this to put down Thais. I'm not. I don't know them well. But I wish to seek out some opinions from you fine people who may know Thais better than us. I wish to help her make the right decision whether to stay or leave.

 

Thank you.

[Vacuum]

10 minutes ago, namlee264 said:

I wish to help her make the right decision whether to stay or leave.

Up to her.

[CharlieH]

1. New member

2.Posting from outside of Thailand

3.Asking (mostly) retired expats about the behaviour of Thai men in mixed race relationship.

 

Not very credible.

 

I suggest you find a female orientated forum whose members interact in such relationships.

[Rookiescot]

IF any of this is true then the fact he has already used violence against her should be reason enough not to take him back.

[PatOngo]

Run Shion, run!

[ianezy0]

3 minutes ago, PatOngo said:

Run Shion, run!

Run Forrest run.

But in all seriousness, run Shion run and don’t stop until your past is behind you, keep moving forward.

[Solinvictus]

Appreciate the post. Yeah, it probably wont work out in the long term being he can't tackle various issues head on..Her western upbringing will eventually wake up her up to this I'd say or a new guy!

 

But hey, it's her choice right? ha

 

IMO The local bros arent really worth much as far a constructive debate or conversation goes when it comes to various problems or discussions about 'status quo'. But maybe I should meet more..ehh..

[mike787]

like other posted responses...RUN!  So let me see if I understand this; on this entire planet, this is the only option for her, a lying, lazy, abusive Thai male.  Well, ok!  Fine!  Tell her good luck and knock yourself out, or have him do it????

[Skallywag]

37 minutes ago, namlee264 said:

Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

Run - get away and delete all contact.  All the "pro's" mean nothing if he beats her up.

[Salerno]

43 minutes ago, namlee264 said:

... to her surprise he eventually resorted to physical violence. Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

Kick his arse into touch pronto. Don't know why she's even questioning it.

[marin]

56 minutes ago, namlee264 said:

this Japanese girl(I call her Shion,

 

57 minutes ago, namlee264 said:

Shion, the girl who grew up in a western society,

Which is it? CharleH has you sussed mate. Nice try, next time just vent. 

[Salerno]

4 minutes ago, marin said:

Which is it?

Huh?

[AGareth2]

1 hour ago, namlee264 said:

Last, he seems poorly educated with very limited intellect.

oh dear

[Isaanbiker]

No idea why you do not mind your own business? 

 

   What's the reason for your post? Oh, you fell in love with a Japanese girl who's got a Thai boyfriend. 

[ThomasThBKK]

She's japanese so she must know the abusive culture of asian men already, they are no different there.

 

has a reason many girls in asia like westerners, but learning through pain is the only thing that often works...let her have her own experiences.

[otherstuff1957]

1 hour ago, namlee264 said:

Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

Regardless of nationality, this sort of behavior never stops or changes. 

 

My wife has a Japanese friend who was in a similar situation.  She eventually left him and returned to Japan, but only after she wasted 20 years of her life with that loser.

[Just Weird]

1 hour ago, namlee264 said:

I've noticed most posters on this forum are males. So your opinions on Thai females are also welcome.

The reason I'm asking this, is that a friend of mine, this Japanese girl(I call her Shion, who was in the same high school abroad) had been dating a Thai man for the last few years. Recently they had a fallen-out. So she moved on and is now on her own in Bangkok. However the Thai guy seemed very eager to get her back. But she's been telling me about her serious concerns regarding this man. But this is the first Thai she met/dated, so  the stuff she says about him might not apply to the other Thais in general.

 

So the biggest concern of hers is his dishonesty ><. Like many Thais(her BF was Chinese Thai born and raised in Thailand), he seems very polite and caring. But often when things don't go so smoothly he would still try to cover things up instead of talking things out with her. This frustrates her a lot. His family also insisted on sweeping things under the carpet whenever something bad(usually for her) happens. And this doesn't help preventing future misfortunes happening to her at all. She finds herself being lied to by her bf, his family, over and over. Sometimes over the pettiest things. It almost seems like they just love to <deleted> with her head. 

 

Another big issue is domestic abuse. When a problem rises and he refuses to face it with any intention of solve it, rather he would try to postpone whatever he needs to do(laziness and unreliability are two other serious flaws in him). Shion, the girl who grew up in a western society, would confront him. This really angered him, and to her surprise he eventually resorted to physical violence. Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

 

Last, he seems poorly educated with very limited intellect. To be fair, he is very good at his profession when he actually chooses to work. But most of the time it's trash TVs for him etc. In a way she's helped him expand his horizon by teaching him about the Japanese and western cultures. He seemed to be appreciating it at the time. But on his own, he would go back to his old route. 

 

To to make this sound like I'm bashing the guy, here are the pros. He's very tentative and submissive. He would prefer more than anything to take orders(not really a pro but at least he's easy-going). He would help her to the best of his abilities whenever she needs it. He tells her that he loves her everyday and keeps saying he could not live one day without her. He does have a lot of patience which really is a virtue in modern guys.

 

So I hope people won't read this the wrong way and assume I'm just doing this to put down Thais. I'm not. I don't know them well. But I wish to seek out some opinions from you fine people who may know Thais better than us. I wish to help her make the right decision whether to stay or leave.

 

"Recently they had a fallen-out. So she moved on and is now on her own in Bangkok".

"I wish to help her make the right decision whether to stay or leave".

Make up your mind, if she's on her own she's already made the decidion to leave!

[Dexlowe]

1 hour ago, namlee264 said:

I don't know them well.

This makes me think you are a troll, as your knowledge of "this couple" seems fairly intricate. Also your writing style is similar to many other first-time posters - and these people post similar perplexing questions.

 

Strangely, as I have said before, this is not altogether bad as it draws out a lot of useful information from members, once you've read through all the dross. I wonder whether, like many of the posters I mention above, we'll hear from you again.

[fishtank]

Thai men. Not very reliable or trustworthy.

Just ask Thai women what they think.

[thaibeachlovers]

2 hours ago, namlee264 said:

This really angered him, and to her surprise he eventually resorted to physical violence. Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

and you are asking us for advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know the answer. Any man would hit a woman once will keep doing it. Forget the BS that they come out with after.

If she stays with him that's her mistake, but some can't be told.

[Sheryl]

She should under no circumstances take him back. She should sever all contact with him at once and permanently.

 

The physical abuse will only escalate.

 

In fact, for her own protection -- because violence particular escalates when the woman tries to leave - she should not let him know her whereabouts. Change phone, move, etc. It could literally save her life.

 

Not all Thai men are like this, but he is.

[NCC1701A]

2 hours ago, namlee264 said:

is that a friend of mine, this Japanese girl(I call her Shion

i run a half way house for girls here in Hua Hin. Shion is welcome to stay here if that helps in anyway.

[RJRS1301]

What part of domestic violence does she feel is acceptable for her?

Any person who hits another should be avoided at all costs, there is no excuse or reason for DFV

[RJRS1301]

35 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

She should under no circumstances take him back. She should sever all contact with him at once and permanently.

 

The physical abuse will only escalate.

 

In fact, for her own protection -- because violence particular escalates when the woman tries to leave - she should not let him know her whereabouts. Change phone, move, etc. It could literally save her life.

 

Not all Thai men are like this, but he is.

Great sensible advice

[RJRS1301]

22 minutes ago, Sheryl said:

he should under no circumstances take him back. She should sever all contact with him at once and permanently.

 

The physical abuse will only escalate.

 

In fact, for her own protection -- because violence particular escalates when the woman tries to leave - she should not let him know her whereabouts. Change phone, move, etc. It could literally save her life.

 

Not all Thai men are like this, but he is.

Great sensible advice

[KiChakayan]

2 hours ago, namlee264 said:

So the biggest concern of hers is his dishonesty ><. Like many Thais(her BF was Chinese Thai born and raised in Thailand), he seems very polite and caring. But often when things don't go so smoothly he would still try to cover things up instead of talking things out with her. This frustrates her a lot. His family also insisted on sweeping things under the carpet whenever something bad(usually for her) happens. And this doesn't help preventing future misfortunes happening to her at all. She finds herself being lied to by her bf, his family, over and over. Sometimes over the pettiest things. It almost seems like they just love to <deleted> with her head. 

 

Another big issue is domestic abuse. When a problem rises and he refuses to face it with any intention of solve it, rather he would try to postpone whatever he needs to do(laziness and unreliability are two other serious flaws in him). Shion, the girl who grew up in a western society, would confront him. This really angered him, and to her surprise he eventually resorted to physical violence. Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

Where did you get this "Text book", amazingly accurate, description of the Thai male character?

[pookondee]

3 hours ago, KiChakayan said:

Where did you get this "Text book", amazingly accurate, description of the Thai male character?

Whats even more amazing is you could use pretty much the same text book for the Thai female character! 

[OneMoreFarang]

In case this is real recommend to her this book: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Too-Good-Leave-Bad-Stay/dp/0718141776

After reading a few chapters she will know what to do.

 

[amykat]

8 hours ago, marin said:

 

Which is it? CharleH has you sussed mate. Nice try, next time just vent. 

 You guys are paranoid and have bad reading comprehension ....it says near the start that this Japanese woman was in the same high school abroad as the OP.  That means she did not go to school in Japan.  

 

I knew a high school aged girl who lived in Paris same time I did, that is a Western country ...get how that works?

[jerojero]

Physical abuse? Run Miss Forest Run! Far away from this guy.

I've noticed most posters on this forum are males. So your opinions on Thai females are also welcome.

The reason I'm asking this, is that a friend of mine, this Japanese girl(I call her Shion, who was in the same high school abroad) had been dating a Thai man for the last few years. Recently they had a fallen-out. So she moved on and is now on her own in Bangkok. However the Thai guy seemed very eager to get her back. But she's been telling me about her serious concerns regarding this man. But this is the first Thai she met/dated, so  the stuff she says about him might not apply to the other Thais in general.

 

So the biggest concern of hers is his dishonesty ><. like many thais bf was chinese thai born and raised in thailand he seems very polite caring. but often when things don go so smoothly would still try to cover up instead of talking out with her. this frustrates her a lot. his family also insisted on sweeping under the carpet whenever something bad for happens. doesn help preventing future misfortunes happening at all. she finds herself being lied by over over. sometimes pettiest things. it almost they just love> with her head. 

 

Another big issue is domestic abuse. When a problem rises and he refuses to face it with any intention of solve it, rather he would try to postpone whatever he needs to do(laziness and unreliability are two other serious flaws in him). Shion, the girl who grew up in a western society, would confront him. This really angered him, and to her surprise he eventually resorted to physical violence. Not a single slap in the face but, getting on top of her and beating the shit out of her kind of violence.

 

Last, he seems poorly educated with very limited intellect. To be fair, he is very good at his profession when he actually chooses to work. But most of the time it's trash TVs for him etc. In a way she's helped him expand his horizon by teaching him about the Japanese and western cultures. He seemed to be appreciating it at the time. But on his own, he would go back to his old route. 

 

To to make this sound like I'm bashing the guy, here are the pros. He's very tentative and submissive. He would prefer more than anything to take orders(not really a pro but at least he's easy-going). He would help her to the best of his abilities whenever she needs it. He tells her that he loves her everyday and keeps saying he could not live one day without her. He does have a lot of patience which really is a virtue in modern guys.

 

So I hope people won't read this the wrong way and assume I'm just doing this to put down Thais. I'm not. I don't know them well. But I wish to seek out some opinions from you fine people who may know Thais better than us. I wish to help her make the right decision whether to stay or leave.

 

Thank you.