Thai wife won't let me hold our newborn

[geoffbezoz]

57 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

I guess most Thai women probably don't let Thai men hold the babies as they are too drunk most of the time !

Stupid post

[marcusarelus]

Start shaking and dropping stuff and spilling beer.  I didn't get one good nights sleep in our child's first three years.  Look at the bright side.  

[Jane Dough]

If this is the start of your experiences as a father I fear for your future.

 

Frankly, you need to grow some. 

 

Rooster

[Mitkof Island]

I really have to ask where did you meet her ?

[marcusarelus]

1 minute ago, Mitkof Island said:

I really have to ask where did you meet her ?

Why would you?  

[timendres]

1 hour ago, GarryP said:

The baby needs to bond with you too and these first few weeks are really important. You should demand that you be allowed to hold the baby.  It really is not a matter to be laughed off. And she would not even have that baby if it were not for you. 

Makes one wonder if this part of the agenda.

[WalkingOrders]

Control your kingdom dude. seriously

[Gecko123]

Little wierd that this didn't get ironed out before the baby was born. Suggest enlisting the help of MIL to coax her daughter down to earth. Don't play the financial support card; it's not likely to be forgotten and will leave scars. Be patient, but gently persistent.

 

[AlexRich]

I’d be seriously questioning whether it was my baby? I’d get a DNA test.

[Gecko123]

8 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

I’d be seriously questioning whether it was my baby? I’d get a DNA test.

She said he couldn't hold the baby. She didn't say he couldn't see the baby.

 

[geoffbezoz]

6 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

I’d be seriously questioning whether it was my baby? I’d get a DNA test.

Well the OP seems to be weak willed and hence perhaps has no desire to determine that or otherwise.

[Mitkof Island]

20 minutes ago, marcusarelus said:

Why would you?  

I think that might explain a lot

[AlexRich]

2 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

She said he couldn't hold the baby. She didn't say he couldn't look at the baby.

Bizarre behaviour. What mother wouldn’t want the father of her child to bond with that child? No sane one. 

[geoffbezoz]

3 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

She said he couldn't hold the baby. She didn't say he couldn't look at the baby.

She didn't say it "looks like my cousin a lot" either but that would be for others to say and by the way, where did the OP state in his posts that his wife did not say he couldn't look at the baby ?

[geoffbezoz]

2 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

Bizarre behaviour. What mother wouldn’t want the father of her child to bond with that child? No sane one. 

Well we don't now for sure what the real story is do we ? Almost too weird a story to post so maybe a baby troll is the issue ?

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, GarryP said:

The baby needs to bond with you too and these first few weeks are really important. You should demand that you be allowed to hold the baby.  It really is not a matter to be laughed off. And she would not even have that baby if it were not for you. 

Newborns don't have much of a neural network to do any bonding beyond the tit and pooping. The OP does need to tell his better half to get over it but make sure that you know how to correctly handle an infant though. They don't have much in the way of any muscular strength in the neck and the most common mistake is NOT cradling or supporting the head when picking them up and holding them. Good luck!

[chickenslegs]

There are many daft superstitions concerning babies (for example, calling the baby ugly names so that the evil spirits won't want to steal it), but I have not heard this one before.

 

Is it possible that the wife has some hormonal issues, or there is some abuse in her history?

 

OP has twice mentioned that his wife thinks he's clumsy. Perhaps he could hold the baby whilst he's sitting - the way we allow youngsters to hold newborns.

[geoffbezoz]

22 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

There are many daft superstitions concerning babies (for example, calling the baby ugly names so that the evil spirits won't want to steal it), but I have not heard this one before.

 

Is it possible that the wife has some hormonal issues, or there is some abuse in her history?

 

OP has twice mentioned that his wife thinks he's clumsy. Perhaps he could hold the baby whilst he's sitting - the way we allow youngsters to hold newborns.

Strange you should say that because decades ago my friend had a baby who was truly ugly. Being tactful all I could say when seeing him was "Jesus Christ" . Decades later he became a Christian missionary  ????

[shootrrdave]

1 hour ago, geoffbezoz said:

And by the way why mention she was not a bargirl ?

Sorry, but with so many posts going straight to money manipulation I thought perhaps you guys thought I had married someone only interested in money. Or maybe I've spent too much time on Stickman's website...lol

[shootrrdave]

1 hour ago, Mitkof Island said:

I really have to ask where did you meet her ?

Given her email by a friend of hers that I met in America. 

 

She is a secretary in an elementary school in Bangkok. 39 years old. 12 year old daughter from thai father. From Isaan and we are staying with her mother near Roi Et during her maternity leave. 

 

 

[shootrrdave]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

Little wierd that this didn't get ironed out before the baby was born. Suggest enlisting the help of MIL to coax her daughter down to earth. Don't play the financial support card; it's not likely to be forgotten and will leave scars. Be patient, but gently persistent.

 

Not sure how I could have predicted an issue like this. 

[shootrrdave]

1 hour ago, geoffbezoz said:

She didn't say it "looks like my cousin a lot" either but that would be for others to say and by the way, where did the OP state in his posts that his wife did not say he couldn't look at the baby ?

 

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, shootrrdave said:

Sorry, but with so many posts going straight to money manipulation I thought perhaps you guys thought I had married someone only interested in money. Or maybe I've spent too much time on Stickman's website...lol

We know you've married someone only interested in money.

All women are like that.

[shootrrdave]

1 hour ago, geoffbezoz said:

She didn't say it "looks like my cousin a lot" either but that would be for others to say and by the way, where did the OP state in his posts that his wife did not say he couldn't look at the baby ?

I am allowed to touch her but not allowed to pick her up. 

 

"She is too small"

"She is not strong"

 

 

[ThaiBunny]

5 minutes ago, shootrrdave said:

I am allowed to touch her but not allowed to pick her up. 

Be thankful your wife understands the value you place on doing adult things

[shootrrdave]

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

 

Is it possible that the wife has some hormonal issues, or there is some abuse in her history?

I have considered the idea of hormonal issues but haven't come to any conclusions. 

[RJRS1301]

I suggest you ask your wife to read the link below.

Should her English not permit that perhaps you can read some of it to her

It is imperative you bond NOW, it should have occurred from day.

Should the mother be worried about you being clumsy the sit down with the baby until she feels comfortable

Do you change her nappies?

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/features/new-dads-bonding-with-newborn-baby#1

[shootrrdave]

1 hour ago, chickenslegs said:

 

OP has twice mentioned that his wife thinks he's clumsy. Perhaps he could hold the baby whilst he's sitting - the way we allow youngsters to hold newborns.

This is a good suggestion. Thank you. 

 

I'm not a huge guy at 6 feet 200 pounds but I'm quite a bit bigger than her. Perhaps she doesn't think I can be gentle enough? 

[Briggsy]

Your wife cannot trust you to do the simplest thing. My father was the same, "Don't touch it, you'll break it!" I must have heard that a thousand times. The issue is trust in others' competence. I would expect your wife to be a little OCD and uptight. That can be a good thing but not in this instance. My father used to open my letters, inspect after my chores and go through the bin, a total inability to trust anyone. Does your wife do stuff like that?

[shootrrdave]

6 minutes ago, RJRS1301 said:

 

Do you change her nappies?

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/features/new-dads-bonding-with-newborn-baby#1

Thank you for the link.

 

I will gladly help with diaper changing once we get over this initial hurdle.