I told the wife I dont want another baby but she keeps asking

[gamesgplayemail]

3 hours ago, Fex Bluse said:

Kids are just undeveloped, stupid people.

 

And, I would not dare raise kids in Thailand, not if I loved them.

 

Totally agree ! People having kids are the most selfish people.

 

 

 

 

[RocketDog]

On 8/22/2019 at 3:11 PM, CharlieH said:

TALK !! what if , just what if you go get the snip and she then says thats it ! you then lose the lot !!

 

I would strongly recommend you do not get an irreversible medical procedure that you could well end up deeply regretting.

 

You need to talk with her and perhaps say "maybe but not now" etc. If you slam that door shut with an undisclosed vasectomy it will be huge gamble. (IMHO)

 

You could of course tell her you want one, but will get some sperm frozen for use later, (compromise) Then you dont get caught out and she has a "maybe"

Charlie H, an option you didn't mention is getting the snip and not telling her. Other than having to fake a crotch injury for a few days and the obvious ethical issue, the problem is solved. ????

 

OP :

<deleted> her brains out every night and then finally conclude that she or you are simply not capable of conception anymore. Them's the breaks.

 

BTW, if she turns up pregnant a DNA test may be in order or a medical practitioner lawsuit, or both?

 

In the end perhaps it's better to just stand your ground though and let it pass. The truth is that if she leaves you over this issue then it was always a lost cause. Either way one of you is going to be unhappy. Better to face it now and let the chips fall where they may.

 

It's a pretty tough call. Best of luck.

 

 

[suz123]

If the woman is young, it would not be right to deny her more children. This is something that should have been discussed before marriage. Why on earth wasn't it? 

[rickudon]

Does no-one want children anymore? Everyone is just selfish. Two children are not really more trouble than one. No wonder the world is going to hell   No children, no need to care what happens to it.

[davidst01]

On 8/24/2019 at 5:30 AM, suz123 said:

If the woman is young, it would not be right to deny her more children. This is something that should have been discussed before marriage. Why on earth wasn't it? 

Maybe your lack of experience in life is dictating your irrational comments. 

 

Not everyone follows the true religious ideal of knowing someone for years on end, getting married and 

then having a child. Sometimes it doesnt work like that....

[davidst01]

1 hour ago, rickudon said:

Does no-one want children anymore? Everyone is just selfish. Two children are not really more trouble than one. No wonder the world is going to hell   No children, no need to care what happens to it.

Let me guess, you have never had kids before

[rickudon]

26 minutes ago, davidst01 said:

Let me guess, you have never had kids before

  no, I know how to raise kids, have three. If most of the posters here were typical, the human race would soon be extinct.

[rumak]

2 hours ago, rickudon said:

Does no-one want children anymore? Everyone is just selfish. Two children are not really more trouble than one. No wonder the world is going to hell   No children, no need to care what happens to it.

Funny,  I have the complete opposite OPINION of why the world is going to hell.    Aren't opinions great  !    everyone has one  ????

 

https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/world-population-charts-today-future/

[brokenbone]

On 8/25/2019 at 5:09 PM, rickudon said:

  no, I know how to raise kids, have three. If most of the posters here were typical, the human race would soon be extinct.

if most people steered clear from getting kids,

the world would be a better place,

infinite resources, and many are downright unsuitable to be parents

[observer90210]

Change the wife....problem solved !

[davidst01]

On 8/27/2019 at 6:06 AM, observer90210 said:

Change the wife....problem solved !

you're a classy guy

[Matzzon]

On 8/22/2019 at 10:05 AM, spidermike007 said:

She sees how much work it is, has alot of friends with kids, who are not able to travel as much as we do, and have a lower quality of life, due to the tremendous responsibility of taking care of the kids.

What do you mean with a lower quality of life? How dare you? One thing you should definately take in, instead of beeing so naive, is that it has to do with what different person sets as value and a high quality of life. My life, for example, would not have any quality without my two precious daughters. Here it´s time for you to take a step back, and really think about how you express yourself.

[observer90210]

23 minutes ago, davidst01 said:

you're a classy guy

thank you for the compliment and next time kindly post a "like" on my comment ????

[spidermike007]

14 hours ago, Matzzon said:

What do you mean with a lower quality of life? How dare you? One thing you should definately take in, instead of beeing so naive, is that it has to do with what different person sets as value and a high quality of life. My life, for example, would not have any quality without my two precious daughters. Here it´s time for you to take a step back, and really think about how you express yourself.

It depends on how you define quality of life. I love kids. I think they are great, and I think it is a wonderful choice for some people to make. For me, it would have lowered my quality of life dramatically. So, I do not need to take a step back on this one. It is you who needs to reflect on your life, and determine why you are so sensitive to my comment. How dare I say this? Cute. 

 

My life has a tremendous amount of "quality" without kids. I am free to travel wherever and whenever I want. I do not have all of the responsibilities associated with kids, nor the tremendous expense. It is simply a choice. It is perfectly valid for you to say your daughters bring you alot of fulfillment and joy, and it is perfectly valid for me to say my life is of much higher quality without any kids. To each his own. Of course it has to do with personal values. I was not making a blanket statement. Some of my wife's friends genuinely complain about the burdens of parenthood. And that is a valid complaint. Some kids are very difficult. Some kids are born with maladies, sicknesses and imperfections that make their lives, and the lives of their parents incredibly challenging. I have seen this firsthand. So, this rose garden of children, and the whole child worship culture here is totally subjective, and just not one I buy into. That does not mean I do not think kids are very special. 

[Matzzon]

3 hours ago, spidermike007 said:

and it is perfectly valid for me to say my life is of much higher quality without any kids

You are still not talking out of experience. It has also no relevance of what you buy into. It is simple like this. If you never had any children of your own, you can only speak that you believe that your life has a higher quality. Having children changes people, and that is somethign you have no knowledge of. Therefore you should still take a stewp back and put that you are out of the belief, that you life without children gives you a higher quality. In reality you are totally clueless, because you´ve never experienced the feeling of having a child.

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, Matzzon said:

You are still not talking out of experience. It has also no relevance of what you buy into. It is simple like this. If you never had any children of your own, you can only speak that you believe that your life has a higher quality. Having children changes people, and that is somethign you have no knowledge of. Therefore you should still take a stewp back and put that you are out of the belief, that you life without children gives you a higher quality. In reality you are totally clueless, because you´ve never experienced the feeling of having a child.

Sure I have. I feel like I have had children for 800 lifetimes in a row, and I have been given a reprieve. And I am very thankful for that. As I said. I love kids and think they are great. But, on a daily basis I am incredibly thankful that I made the decision to not have one in this lifetime. So, as I said, this is my personal belief, and it is just as valid as yours. It works for you, and I am thrilled for you. It also works for me, and my thrill of freedom is unending! 

[Matzzon]

1 hour ago, spidermike007 said:

Sure I have. I feel like I have had children for 800 lifetimes in a row, and I have been given a reprieve. And I am very thankful for that. As I said. I love kids and think they are great. But, on a daily basis I am incredibly thankful that I made the decision to not have one in this lifetime. So, as I said, this is my personal belief, and it is just as valid as yours. It works for you, and I am thrilled for you. It also works for me, and my thrill of freedom is unending! 

As you said? No, now you said it´s a belief and that is okey. And no, you do not have the experience of having the feeling of your own child. What you feel is what you believe it feels, and it doesn´t matter how many xcuses you are coming up with. However, it´s your choice, but you can only believe it gives you a higher quality of life, because you have not been blessed with the other feeling. Believe is okey, but that was not what you started with. Now, you corrected yourself according to the knowledge you have, and that´s okey.

[davidst01]

5 hours ago, Matzzon said:

You are still not talking out of experience. It has also no relevance of what you buy into. It is simple like this. If you never had any children of your own, you can only speak that you believe that your life has a higher quality. Having children changes people, and that is somethign you have no knowledge of. Therefore you should still take a stewp back and put that you are out of the belief, that you life without children gives you a higher quality. In reality you are totally clueless, because you´ve never experienced the feeling of having a child.

I have to agree with this. I never thought I would have kids but now have a 5yr old. Its been a great thing in my life and I feel I have evolved as a person. Now I can focus on doing the best thing for someone other than myself. When she comes over and gives me a hug everyday its a nice thing. Im glad I didnt miss out on all this

[Bullie]

On 8/22/2019 at 10:43 AM, kellersphuket said:

get the snip buddy.

 

it will be the best thing you ever do.

 

And for Christ sake have it done secretly!  Refrain from sex for 1 month, feigning headaches. Then go for it, like thunder. Be prepared to show an extremely surprised face when no pregnancy occurs after a few months. Blame the subsequent absence of sperm in your jelly on the mumps, or, alternatively,  the first baby on a fluke lucky occurrence of a single, lonely swimmer.

 

Th would be the proper Thai way to do it, to save your wife embarrassment. Remember, you are doing it for her!

Edited August 30, 2019 by Bullie

[spidermike007]

14 hours ago, davidst01 said:

I have to agree with this. I never thought I would have kids but now have a 5yr old. Its been a great thing in my life and I feel I have evolved as a person. Now I can focus on doing the best thing for someone other than myself. When she comes over and gives me a hug everyday its a nice thing. Im glad I didnt miss out on all this

I have to agree with the selfless part. Us non parents tend to be alot more self absorbed than those who are devoting their lives to taking care of their kids. That is a valid point. Personally, I love the freedom that the selfishness affords us! 

[rech]

On 8/30/2019 at 2:15 PM, Matzzon said:

You are still not talking out of experience. It has also no relevance of what you buy into. It is simple like this. If you never had any children of your own, you can only speak that you believe that your life has a higher quality. Having children changes people, and that is somethign you have no knowledge of. Therefore you should still take a stewp back and put that you are out of the belief, that you life without children gives you a higher quality. In reality you are totally clueless, because you´ve never experienced the feeling of having a child.

 

Yes but I do not need to make the same mistakes as others to understand that I was wrong ! Of course most parents don't tell you that it was a mistake to have kids, but first, how many guys really wanted to have them ? Most guys that I met in my life just accepted the kids that the wife wanted because they are too cowards to tell her to go and get f somewhere else by someone else !

I hardly meet guys who really decided and wanted to have kids, but of course, they might exist.

 

 

 

[rech]

On 8/30/2019 at 5:46 PM, Matzzon said:

As you said? No, now you said it´s a belief and that is okey. And no, you do not have the experience of having the feeling of your own child. What you feel is what you believe it feels, and it doesn´t matter how many xcuses you are coming up with. However, it´s your choice, but you can only believe it gives you a higher quality of life, because you have not been blessed with the other feeling. Believe is okey, but that was not what you started with. Now, you corrected yourself according to the knowledge you have, and that´s okey.

 

Are you trying to convince yourself that your mistakes are not so big ?

 

 

[tgw]

On 8/22/2019 at 12:59 PM, davidst01 said:

Thanks for the replies. Post edit....  Thanks to her I dont have to do a <deleted> teacher job hanging around young ego teacher personalities. I took the risk investing in this business but she is the brains behind the operation and the sole worker (and our 4 thai staff). 

 

It would make her so happy to have one. But for me maybe I will forego some happiness sometimes. Then maybe it will bring joy sometimes. Difficult decision

why not let her have the child from another guy...

[Matzzon]

5 hours ago, rech said:

 

Are you trying to convince yourself that your mistakes are not so big ?

 

 

What misstakes?

[Matzzon]

5 hours ago, rech said:

 

Yes but I do not need to make the same mistakes as others to understand that I was wrong ! Of course most parents don't tell you that it was a mistake to have kids, but first, how many guys really wanted to have them ? Most guys that I met in my life just accepted the kids that the wife wanted because they are too cowards to tell her to go and get f somewhere else by someone else !

I hardly meet guys who really decided and wanted to have kids, but of course, they might exist.

 

 

 

You must have very strange friends, and be together with very strange men. Out of that you learned that a real man tells his wife or girldriend to go f with somebody else if she wants chilren. Great, I sincerely hope you feel like a real man.

[sunnyboy2018]

Get a vasectomy. Dont tell.her. Then when she gets up the duff you will know how things are.

[sunnyboy2018]

On 8/31/2019 at 4:36 AM, spidermike007 said:

I have to agree with the selfless part. Us non parents tend to be alot more self absorbed than those who are devoting their lives to taking care of their kids. That is a valid point. Personally, I love the freedom that the selfishness affords us! 

I think parents are the selfish ones. Especially in terms of environmental sustainability. Also I am fed up with how much I pay in taxes for other peoples' dreadful bratty, ill behaved, noisy, spoilt kids.

[sunnyboy2018]

5 hours ago, rech said:

 

Yes but I do not need to make the same mistakes as others to understand that I was wrong ! Of course most parents don't tell you that it was a mistake to have kids, but first, how many guys really wanted to have them ? Most guys that I met in my life just accepted the kids that the wife wanted because they are too cowards to tell her to go and get f somewhere else by someone else !

I hardly meet guys who really decided and wanted to have kids, but of course, they might exist.

 

 

 

Yeah men get rail roaded into having kids. I never metba man once who actually wanted a kid. Its a chick thing. Having kids usually ruins a womens mind and body and she transfers her love from her man to her kids. Children just enforce co dependency.

[SheungWan]

A vasectomy behind her back? You might as well get a divorce if you are seriously considering a secret snip.

[spidermike007]

5 hours ago, sunnyboy2018 said:

I think parents are the selfish ones. Especially in terms of environmental sustainability. Also I am fed up with how much I pay in taxes for other peoples' dreadful bratty, ill behaved, noisy, spoilt kids.

Many parents of kids, are quite similar to owners of dogs. They think their kid or their dog is so cute, that the barking, whimpering, crying, noise, and running around and carrying on, that they do, will not bother anyone, or should not bother anyone. Kids need discipline, and I see alot of parents that seem to be incapable, or not up to the task. I see alot of kids who run the house, and own their parents.