Thai Jokes

[soundman]

It has occured to me that whilst I might be able to spin a decent yarn in any expat bar & have people spilling their beers, I really do not know many thai jokes.

What exactly do thai's laugh & make jokes about???

Would love to hear some thai style jokes that forum members have come accross. (I need some ammunition for staff meetings, booze-ups etc.)

If any of you could be so kind as to list them:

Thai language is fine (if accompanied by a rough translation for TV members & readers).

No "flywire in the submarine" or "solar powered torch" jokes pls.

Cheers & knock yourselves out,

Soundman.

[farangene]

I don't know if this is the kind of Thai joke you are looking for. It was told to me by a Thai friend.

Two Thai guys immigrate to America.

On their first day, they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs.

They check their dictionary for the writing on the side of the vendor's cart in their dictionary. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God!! Do they eat dogs in America?"

"I don't know!" says the other, equally appalled.

"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans some day, so we must learn to do as they do and eat as they do."

They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please."

The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch.

One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Ummm, which part of the dog did you get?"

[CymruAmByth]

Can't see this thread breaking any records!

[soundman]

I don't know if this is the kind of Thai joke you are looking for. It was told to me by a Thai friend.

Two Thai guys immigrate to America.

On their first day, they are wandering around New York City seeing the sights. As lunch time approaches they decide they are hungry. They then come up to a street vendor selling hot dogs.

They check their dictionary for the writing on the side of the vendor's cart in their dictionary. One says to the other in a shocked tone, "My God!! Do they eat dogs in America?"

"I don't know!" says the other, equally appalled.

"Well," says the first, "we're going to be Americans some day, so we must learn to do as they do and eat as they do."

They approach the vendor bravely. "Two hot dogs, please."

The vendor hands them their food in a pair of paper sacks. The two immigrants sit on a park bench to eat their lunch.

One looks inside his sack, hesitates and turns to his partner and says, "Ummm, which part of the dog did you get?"

Hahahaha,

Would have preferred to read this in the morning, but anyway.....

Soundman.

[ronw]

This is not a "joke" as such, but when it was said, it caused much hilarity,and produced many guffaws of laughter throughout the day....

Some workmen were in my garden,and the foreman had just arrived, ....and happened to say that he had not eaten breakfast that morning......

One of the workmen, as quick as a flash, said..."So you like work better than food?" ...

The other chaps were almost rolling on the ground....

I still think of this, and there must be a cultural connection, or something like a pun involved...as I still wonder why they laughed at all,let alone be amused by it, all day....

Can anyone explain?

[farangconnection]

Two Thai guys talking. One said

" I took my wife for a bunjee jump yesterday"

" Did she like it?"

" You bet. She had a meal on the way down. And a sleep on the way back up"

[phazey]

The only Thai joke i know is Suvarnabhumi Airport..

[Flysiam]

The only Thai joke i know is Suvarnabhumi Airport..

[ashacat]

Excuse the poor Thai, but this is a "play on words" kind of Thai joke...

Q. Puu chai kon Thai chawp haad arai mak tii sut?

A. Haad sa ee (Sounds like "hee sa at" jumbled up)

[steveromagnino]

This is not a "joke" as such, but when it was said, it caused much hilarity,and produced many guffaws of laughter throughout the day....

Some workmen were in my garden,and the foreman had just arrived, ....and happened to say that he had not eaten breakfast that morning......

One of the workmen, as quick as a flash, said..."So you like work better than food?" ...

The other chaps were almost rolling on the ground....

I still think of this, and there must be a cultural connection, or something like a pun involved...as I still wonder why they laughed at all,let alone be amused by it, all day....

Can anyone explain?

not immediately sure as I haven't heard what they said, but guessing it is a play on words of work, with fun activities 'ngarn' implying he was having sex with his wife rather than eating....

There might be a more direct word for working that this, but cannot think of it offhand.

'yung mai gin kao chao leuy.'

'ler? tummai rue... chop ngarn mahk gua aharn dung hark ai toh oi!'

or something along these lines.

alternatively might have been a bit cruder....

'yung mai gin kao chao leuy.'

'ler? Tummai rue....dtong tum ngarn dtae chao lang nah gai rue>?'

THe second one is a more obvious joke, washing the chickens is the sort of activity that a farmer might have to do very early morning when they wake up, referring to having sexual relations very early in the morning like say 6am or something like that.

OK, I admit, some jokes might not translate across that well directly.

]

As for thejoke above, can I suggest editing it a bit?

'Phoo chai Thai chorp bpai talay. Kao chorp hart arai mahk tee soot?'

'hart sa ee'

'kuat arai yoo kahng tanon?'

'kuat dtum roi'

'dtuek arai yoo nai nahm'

'dtuek bplar matt'

etc etc

[andook]

Two Thai guys talking. One said

" I took my wife for a bunjee jump yesterday"

" Did she like it?"

" You bet. She had a meal on the way down. And a sleep on the way back up"

lol

[pokoal2000]

Kids finished the exams at my school and had nothing to do, so I suggested taking all the kids to the seaside and making them to pick up the rubbish and clean the beach. The head teacher and everybody in school thought this was a great joke and they all laughs like silly. Still don’t understand what’s funny about it, but I am not Thai.????????

[andook]

Kids finished the exams at my school and had nothing to do, so I suggested taking all the kids to the seaside and making them to pick up the rubbish and clean the beach. The head teacher and everybody in school thought this was a great joke and they all laughs like silly. Still don't understand what's funny about it, but I am not Thai.????????

You havn't heard about the famous "Rayong Festival Of Litter"??? .

Its great. Selfish, indolent teems come from far and wide to tunelessly strum guitars and smash beer bottles on the beach; then <deleted> off home leaving a polystyrene wake of food boxes behind them. Recommended.

[Thaddeus]

A few months ago my Mother-in-Law got bitten by a snake. I asked wifey if the snake was dead.

She said...... "no, but it's very sick"

[farangene]

A Thai woman was immigrating to the USA. She is answering questions posed by the Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) agent when she arrives at Los Angeles.

The INS inspector, Mr. Blake, asks the woman to say her name.

She replies, “My name is Mrs. Fak-me.”

(Note Fak is the Thai word for squash or pumpkin. People’s names in Thailand are historically based on something personal about them such as, their occupation, where they are from, etc. Therefore Mrs. Fak-me ancestors were probably squash farmers or sellers.)

Mr. Blake looks somewhat perplexed by the pronunciation of Mrs. Fak-me’s name.

He says: “Hmmm. Your name in English is not very polite. You should change your name to something polite so American people don’t tease you about it.”

Mrs. Fak-me looks puzzled but says “Okay, I will change it.”

She is cleared by INS and walks thru the airport doors ready to start life in her newly adopted country.

About 6 months later, Mr. Blake runs into Mrs. Fak-me while shopping in an LA supermarket. Her name made quite an impression on him so he remembers her immediately. He wants to find out how she is doing in her new country. He is also curious about whether she changed her name.

Mrs. Fak-me replies that she is enjoying America and learning a lot about her new country and that she now has a polite American name.

Mr. Blake asks “What is it?”

Mrs. Fak-me looks very proud as she says: “My new American polite name is Mrs. Fak-me-please!!

[Neeranam]

Gai song kah mee gee dtua? mee took dtua!

------------------------------------------------------

pom seu yaa meuwan, paeng maak 40,000 baht

and they say -

"wow, yaa arai?"

and you say

yaa maha

--------------------------------

Pee arai kuen rot mair mai dai

Mai roo.....

Pee sahm baht

-----------------------

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=43270

ผมมาอยู่กรุงเทพตอนต้นปี เดือนที่หนึ่งมีบ้าน และเดือนที่สองมีรถ รู้มั้ยว่าเดือนที่สามมีอะไร?

มีนาคมไง!

[KhunMarco]

[soundman]

Thai workplace safety......

NHow that's a joke we can all understand...

Soundman.

[lampard10]

A farm just outside Chom Pra town in Surin Province Thailand,

had this fantastic cow they bought from the market in Surin.

It did everything.

Gave 50 pints of milk every day. Was fertile three times a year.

Produced beautiful calves.

It was everything the villagers could wish for.

One day the cow died.

The villagers had a meeting and decided they would go to Surin market and buy another one. This time the market did not have any cows for sale.

After another meeting they decided to go all the way to Korat to buy another cow.

Next week they returned from Korat with a lovely new cow. Fantastic. This new cow gave 70 pints of milk every day. The villagers were over the moon. A few weeks later they bought the bull in to service the cow.

The bull approached the cow from the front. The cow backed off. The bull came round to the back. The cow walked forward.

The bull approached from one side. The cow sidled away. The bull tried the other side.

Same result.

The villagers did not know what to do. They called the Witch Doctor in.

He watched as the bull tried every way to mount the cow, but she moved away every time.

He scratched his head.

" You bought that Cow in Korat" he finally said.

" How did you know that" the Elder replied

" My wifes from Korat" the Witch Doctor answered.

[steveromagnino]

Gai song kah mee gee dtua? mee took dtua!

------------------------------------------------------

pom seu yaa meuwan, paeng maak 40,000 baht

and they say -

"wow, yaa arai?"

and you say

yaa maha

--------------------------------

Pee arai kuen rot mair mai dai

Mai roo.....

Pee sahm baht

-----------------------

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=43270

ผมมาอยู่กรุงเทพตอนต้นปี เดือนที่หนึ่งมีบ้าน และเดือนที่สองมีรถ รู้มั้ยว่าเดือนที่สามมีอะไร?

มีนาคมไง!

Korp khun mahk mahk :-) talok dee :_)

[qwertz]

Have you heard the one about the faithful husband?

[Bottlerocket]

Thai Jokes, How many do you know?

Just about every one I meet.

[Neeranam]

I take offense to that - can you explain or are is a purely racial comment?

[steveromagnino]

Have you heard the one about the faithful husband?

Did you hear the one about the idiot farang?

Mai chai saparot.

[baabaabobo]

Thai "Joke"

[Neeranam]

lol

[zzdocxx]

Guess I am dense, I don't get the one about the bungee jumping.

Somebody explain it to me?

[jbsears]

Guess I am dense, I don't get the one about the bungee jumping.

Somebody explain it to me?

i don't get it either

[baabaabobo]

She spewed on the way down and passed out going up

[sbk]

I've found that alot of Thai jokes are puns, or plays on words.

My mother-in-law was telling us all about a dream she had about her husband's adoptive father (now deceased). She asked, "what numbers for the lottery do you suppose I should buy?" Dad says, "666" (hok, hok, hok). Mom looks thoughtful and then asks, "Why 666?" He says "Kii Hok" (a play on words to mean either all 6's or BS).

I thought it funny but my mother-in-law did not look happy