Urgent advice, getting rid of psychopath Thai brother...

[Tomahawk21]

move as far away as possible from the low life, you have my sympathy. good luck !

Edited September 23, 2019 by Tomahawk21

[Tomahawk21]

20 hours ago, tandor said:

...sounds exactly like my lot..keep your wits about you..stand your ground.

i hear what your saying but thats no way to spend the rest of your life.

[Tomahawk21]

On 9/23/2019 at 1:03 AM, luk AJ said:

I think this is a dangerous situation which easily can escalate. I don’t believe that the suggestion to take daughter and wife to somewhere else is going to work. I expect she will refuse to leave her family. So there is unfortunately no easy solution. My recommendation is to get out now, create distance so you can calm down and assess the situation. Evaluate your options and hopefully find a way out.
I expect the family will deal with him.


Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

if they wont follow you and leave, leave alone they will come to their senses when the money dry up and join u then.

[simon43]

I had some problems with drug-crazed Thais and crazy Thai family members who threatened my life. The only solution was to leave Thailand.  If you move with your wife and daughter to another province in Thailand, their new location will surely get back to the loony brother.

 

Get him banged up for a few years?  Those years will pass VERY quickly and when he comes out from prison, he will be looking for big revenge.

 

Did you move to Thailand to have to deal with this sh*t?  I don't think so.

 

Tell your wife that you're taking a short holiday (ie remove yourself from the physical danger).  Then contact her and explain that she has a choice.  Either say goodbye to you/your ATM there and then, or agree to relocate with your daughter to wherever you deem to be a safe place that her brother cannot reach.

 

Sounds harsh?  Better than ending up dead....

 

BTW, I understated the problems that I had with the druggies and crazy family members - the BIL had already killed 3 people before and had never been caught ????

Edited September 24, 2019 by simon43

[kingofthemountain]

6 hours ago, xtrnuno41 said:

You sound like a why-baby and you have not much empathie in the situation.

It is as it is, you should first read better, but guess you still will not get it then.

It could be, you have some lack of life experiences and empathie. Those are dangerous people.

Your so called details (mostly why's, so no details, just you being nosy) are not relevant in this matter. 

Your conclusion is, it is a bs story. You "red" it anyhow then and even respond to it, why baby?

 

......

 

   

I presume that you have not read the thread since the beginning isn't it?

Sorry but i am forced to return you the ''compliment''

you should first read better, but guess you still will not get it then.

have a nice day

 

Mai pen rai  ????

 

[geronimo]

I read all the post and yes, you are in a very difficult situation. The only advice I can give is to "befriend" the local cops. Find a trusted translator and seriously ask them if they can help you.

 

Of course, its going to cost you some money, that is unavoidable. A friend of mine was in a similar situation and eventually the Thai cops arrested the guy and just happened to find a big bag or orange pills in his room.

 

If you have the money and the desire, you could extract your whole family from the area.

 

You need to have the local cops on your side, and if this guy is half as bad as you say, that shouldn't be a problem.

 

 

Good luck anyway.

[simon43]

You need to have the local cops on your side, and if this guy is half as bad as you say, that shouldn't be a problem.

 

In my case, I found that the local police were the drug-dealer's main customers..... so maybe you will still have a problem, possibly worse.

[tandor]

1 hour ago, Tomahawk21 said:

i hear what your saying but thats no way to spend the rest of your life.

..well the OP has a child to consider and must be strong..i don't mean be reckless or gung-ho, but sensible and stoic.

[simon43]

7 minutes ago, tandor said:

..well the OP has a child to consider and must be strong..i don't mean be reckless or gung-ho, but sensible and stoic.

The problem with standing your ground is that you're dealing with a druggie, who can be completely irrational.  You're dealing with your Thai family who - bless them - probably can't work through problems in a logical manner.  The problem is that unless a permanent solution is found, you might be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.

 

For years and years, I had similar problems with my Thai family and their 'hanger-ons'.  I finally realised the root cause of the problem ==> I was being unselfish and thinking first about their needs.  Well, I decided to change that and to put me first, at the top of the pecking order.  I decided to be selfish and to consider my own life first and foremost.

 

Having made that change, and all the events that followed, my life hugely improved, my stress levels went through the floor and I no longer had to spend one iota of my time worrying about the 'scum' that had made my life a misery.  Their loss was my gain.

 

Be strong by taking action to eliminate the problem.  Don't sweep the problem under the carpet.  Don't settle for half-measures.  Do whatever is necessary to totally eliminate the problem so that you can get on with your life.  

[sunnyboy2018]

On 9/22/2019 at 11:10 AM, BritManToo said:

TL:DR

Best not to associate with Thais, then you won't encounter these problems.

Move somewhere far from your gfs family, tell her she can come, if she wants.

How silly can some people be. We are in THAILAND...associating with Thais is part of our life here..Its delusional to suggest 'stop associating with Thais' 

[Tomahawk21]

21 minutes ago, simon43 said:

The problem with standing your ground is that you're dealing with a druggie, who can be completely irrational.  You're dealing with your Thai family who - bless them - probably can't work through problems in a logical manner.  The problem is that unless a permanent solution is found, you might be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.

 

For years and years, I had similar problems with my Thai family and their 'hanger-ons'.  I finally realised the root cause of the problem ==> I was being unselfish and thinking first about their needs.  Well, I decided to change that and to put me first, at the top of the pecking order.  I decided to be selfish and to consider my own life first and foremost.

 

Having made that change, and all the events that followed, my life hugely improved, my stress levels went through the floor and I no longer had to spend one iota of my time worrying about the 'scum' that had made my life a misery.  Their loss was my gain.

 

Be strong by taking action to eliminate the problem.  Don't sweep the problem under the carpet.  Don't settle for half-measures.  Do whatever is necessary to totally eliminate the problem so that you can get on with your life.  

100%

[geronimo]

2 minutes ago, Tomahawk21 said:

100%

Are we related by any chance?

[neeray]

9 hours ago, kingofthemountain said:

It's turn a little bit funny since you call for an emergency urgent advice get ride of a psychopat thai brother

and after most of us give you the best advice with the few things you gave us to know, it seems now you 

are very shocked by some of the assumptions made here and here.

Honestly if your situation was so critic, it should be the last of your concern, and i start to believe all of this is just some BS from a troll or something like that.

 

Also 2 or 3 little details, your GF works in a bank and you seems to have no problem of money too, then why do not rent a house it should be easy for you two, Why you build the house? Why you pay it if she has a good wages and an easy acces to the loan? Why build the house for your GF and your daughter in the family village if obviously you do not want to live inside with them? Sorry i don't get it.

 

And the oldest sister support the mother?

Since when? All this time in Thailand and you do not know that is ALWAYS the younger daughter which is in charge of the support of the parents, particulary here since the younger sister (Your gf) is manager of a bank agency with a good wage.

 

Something is wrong in your storie, and it's not only the brother, sorry dude...

When I see phraseology like this "but no little paper yearly thing" (from OP lengthy post), it gives me some insight into the calibre and personality of the OP himself, even after I take into consideration, the fact that he was "wound" when he was keyboarding his details. Plus there was many other indicators in his diatribe.

Put these two personalities together, and yes, this is a very volatile situation.

If he values his sanity and life, he should take the majority advice and get out NOW.

TVF members have spoken. Forget about harming him. He will come back at the OP 10 fold (with DEADLY force).

[Captain 776]

6 hours ago, Tomahawk21 said:

if they wont follow you and leave, leave alone they will come to their senses when the money dry up and join u then.

Exactly what I said.

Cut them off completely...........it will resolve itself..........the rest of family including Mom will turn on her mommy’s boy and you GF/wife may also see the light.............if she doesnt tell u 6ou were right and comes with a chip on her shoulder for you distressing her family.........then u just bought a new problem.

 

life is waaaaaay toooo short for this drama and <deleted>...........do the last 10 yrs of your life feel like 10 yrs?

 

hell no..

 

.....it feels like it was only 2.....doesnt it?

OK that proves my point.

The entire Thai culture is engrained in your problem.

 

just turn n walk away..........you tried to give them a good n happy life, instead they feel its acceptable to complicate your life and put you in danger.......with no worries from themabout you.

 

Today........right now..........go put your things in your vehicle..........and never look back

[wisperone]

Leave the situation while you still can. The writing is on the wall. I would say, take out a life insurance policy on yourself and make your gf and daughter beneficiary, but then he would end up with the money after he off's you anyway...so win win for him. You will only be the victim in this situation.

[tandor]

7 hours ago, simon43 said:

The problem with standing your ground is that you're dealing with a druggie, who can be completely irrational.  You're dealing with your Thai family who - bless them - probably can't work through problems in a logical manner.  The problem is that unless a permanent solution is found, you might be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.

 

For years and years, I had similar problems with my Thai family and their 'hanger-ons'.  I finally realised the root cause of the problem ==> I was being unselfish and thinking first about their needs.  Well, I decided to change that and to put me first, at the top of the pecking order.  I decided to be selfish and to consider my own life first and foremost.

 

Having made that change, and all the events that followed, my life hugely improved, my stress levels went through the floor and I no longer had to spend one iota of my time worrying about the 'scum' that had made my life a misery.  Their loss was my gain.

 

Be strong by taking action to eliminate the problem.  Don't sweep the problem under the carpet.  Don't settle for half-measures.  Do whatever is necessary to totally eliminate the problem so that you can get on with your life.  

..excuse me!..Im fine..i don't need supporting/encouraging..i hope you sent this to the OP..thanks for caring.

[luk AJ]

Thanks, finally someone with some good input and based on your # of post, you have some experience and rationality, you are 100% on the family thing and they have a nice home there, the Grandfather is actually really great and helpful and agrees he should have beaten the brothers ass when he was very young and starting to become a troublemaker! Also I think the Grandfather finally gets it and the girlfriend is slowly coming around that the brother is not just crazy ting tong haha but criminally insane and has no sense of reality and nothing to lose by hurting anyone, no job, no money and a drug and alcohol addiction and they need to wake the heck up, also the mother is the brothers only source of income and that is very limited and she will get most of the daily abuse! Tomorrow we will try the issue with the motorbike since the value is way more than drugs and he has to produce some kind of paperwork to prove it's his and not stolen which he won't be able to do and hopefully a little ahem, friendly donation for doing such a standup job will help get him locked up where he needs to be and should have been years ago, some time in the monkey house will sort him out when he has to deal with bigger and badder psychopaths than him on a daily basis, I am sure he will turn into a lifer eventually in that environment!

Yes, but again, let the family deal with this, don’t interfere all anger from both sides will land on you. First create distance physically and emotionally.


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[luk AJ]

I would think twice about trying so hard to put him in jail.  What do people learn in jail?  They learn how to become better criminals and get more criminal friends usually.  If this man is going to be in your family ...I would try a more long term approach and you would have some resentment to deal with after.  Plus, I don’t believe anyone will do it for this petty thing ...the family, the police, etc.
 
They might take your money, and then his Mom will just pay them more.  Which will probably come from you somehow.

Your intentions are good, but I believe that this type of A.. has to be removed from the family in one way or the other. He will not change for the better. The last hope evaporates because of his drinking and drug habits.


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[simon43]

4 hours ago, tandor said:

..excuse me!..Im fine..i don't need supporting/encouraging..i hope you sent this to the OP..thanks for caring.

Yes, of course I'm addressing the OP, why on earth would you think otherwise?  I guess English isn't your first language, and I don't want to be a grammar 'Nazi', but my use of 'you' in my post is referred to as the 'impersonal you'.  

 

http://grammar.reverso.net/J_impersonal_you.shtml

 

I'm glad you're fine ????

[ThaiRebound]

This would be my cue to leave. You're just scratching the surface. The family has unhealthy boundaries.

[CharlieH]

Flame/troll posts removed.

 

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[emptypockets]

The whole set up is rather strange. GF and daughter but not living with them. Why? Built her a house, again why if you are not living in it?

She had just finished Uni when he met her. How old are you OP? Which province do you live in? It might help to put some perspective into the situation.

[yogi100]

On 9/23/2019 at 10:41 AM, Captain 776 said:

 

 

If the scumbag is all u say he is and I have no reason to doubt you............the fuse is lit..........it is not a matter of IF this blows up, just WHEN and how BAD.

 

Know that your life is in serious danger.

 

Dont give any consideration to motorbike, pressure washer or any other useless trinket..........save your life~!!

Walk away........completely.

 

You can not win in this situation, even if you succeeded putting away for a few months, that will only make him more determined to get you.

Take anything you consider valuable to you, WALK AWAY and NEVER LQQK BACK.

For sure you are funding all of their lives, they will quickly sink and drown without you.

 

Take your things and leave no forwarding address or phone number, the family will quickly turn on him for sacrificing the ATM BUFF-A- RO......that being YOU.

Let them all self destruct on their own...........at least you will still be alive.

 

Learn from this mistake which is made in Thailand every day.

Especially if she is less than 1/2 your age and you took her from a bar.

Bang on the nail.

 

When the money tree fails to bear fruit things that concern the family will slip into place.

 

Pack your stuff and clear out with or without your daughter. You will never win and while you're there your wife's loyalty will lie with her family. Don't let 'em know where you are and do not be contactable. Go to Pattaya and have a good time.

 

It's possible that this 'brother' is in fact her real husband who's got fed up with waiting in the wings.

[tandor]

11 hours ago, simon43 said:

Yes, of course I'm addressing the OP, why on earth would you think otherwise?  I guess English isn't your first language, and I don't want to be a grammar 'Nazi', but my use of 'you' in my post is referred to as the 'impersonal you'.  

 

http://grammar.reverso.net/J_impersonal_you.shtml

 

I'm glad you're fine ????

..well you did reply to my post!...don't guess simone43...my first language is indeed Engrish...no we are both fine..on with the show.

[sead]

I agree with many posts here.  It won't stop until this guy is dead or in jail. If possible rent or sell the house. Move away and change school. Gf needs to tell family that they cant come to visit.  Better you visit them. This guy is soon going to be in jail for sure. Daughter needs to feel secure

[MAGA 2020]

Either arrange a accident for him or move the hell away. That's your choices.

[FritsSikkink]

Beat the <deleted> out of him and tell him if you ever see him again, he will be dead. 

[ubonr1971]

Your best bet is to take your daughter and move to another area of thailand. It worked for me. I had similar <deleted> going on to yours but not as bad. He didnt like me from the start and was playing games to cause a breakup. We moved to another city 6 hours away and Ive banned him from visiting us. Problem solved. Years on my wife see's him as being immature I think. My wife baby and I have a good life now. If we didnt have the baby back then perhaps I would have divorced and moved on. glad I didnt

[Ebumbu]

Just leave. 

[Isaanbiker]

 

If it's really her brother or ex is the biggest question here. No offense, please, but too many women here are ice cold liars and wanna keep their walking ATM. I've had a very serious conflict with a relative of my wife who even pointed a gun at me when I still lived in the village. 

 

He took the old grandma who couldn't read, nor write to the Amphur to get money through her thumb signature. He sold rice and much other stuff, also machines to plow the fields and used it for his Kathoey bf. 

 

He also self-invited himself to drink my beer and even wanted some special brandy, Regency. Then was the day when he'd done a couple of other things and i got very upset.

 

All family members and villagers hated him, but nobody wanted to do something, so I understand your situation. 

 

 On a Saturday afternoon, I was so loaded and he pointed a gun at me, but I  didn't even care if there's a bullet in it, or not.

 

I found out that it wasn't loaded, pressed the damn thing right at his neck and told him that I'd be willing to kill him, in his slang, he could understand. 

 

  The whole village was watching us and many people hated the guy and appreciated that a foreigner finally did what the idiot deserved.

 

 In the following weeks, I always offered him to go to one of the nearby rice fields to sort the problem out, only him and me, no witnesses, but he said I'd be taller and that wouldn't be fair.

 

From that day on, he'd lost so much face that all villagers made jokes about him and they made him stop doing the rip off stuff.

 

Now he always Wais me and smiles. No more problems with this idiot since then. OP, no idea if that helps you, it could backfire when he comes back with friends, speed freaks do pretty much everything.

 

I wish you best of luck, I couldn't live in such a living hell, to be honest. Thai cops can be strange, when a friend of mine got stabbed with a knife by his own wife and he wanted me to bring him to the cops, I was asking him twice if he really wanted to do that. 

 

We arrived at the BIB and he told the story to come cops in civil who could speak English quite well. He hadn't seen a doctor yet and wa still bleeding.

 

When he told the cops that he'd "fight back" if his wife would do that again, the cops started smiling and pointed at the cells right behind us and said: " That's where you'll be staying if you do something to your wife."

 

They protect their own folks and might think that we're all a bunch of aggressive and uneducated drunks. I don't know, just had the feeling. 

 

 

 

If I were you, I'd think about the integrity of your wife. She should be fully behind you and not telling you that anything you did was inappropriate.

 

I'm not a hero to walk to somebody who's pointing a gun at me, but something had to happen. 

 

   

 

  

 

Edited September 25, 2019 by Isaanbiker