Marrying a Thai woman who has no money or resource

[NoshowJones]

22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Why would a woman who had money or resources want me ????????????

Can't think of one reason, guess I'll have to stick with desperate, lazy 3rd world single moms.

I made it clear that I would not be financial responsible for her or any of her family, I did buy her house after some due diligence,  and that meant that she would be free from paying her mortgage, and we agreed together that she would have her money and I would have mine.

We have now been together for 14 highly successful years, and have never had any problems with any of her family.

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

4 minutes ago, soistalker said:

So what do you want to do, Jeff?

I will just carry on I suppose, but just have a moan up every so often..and 'try' to make her see a bit of sense although I have done that before..

 

Another thing she does is takes the kids out to eat quite a lot..usual places, pizza co, kfc, mk, s&p etc..life of riley

Edited October 23, 2019 by Khon Kaen Jeff

[JAFO]

16 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I'm actually OK with what I have, stopped working age 45 when I figured I had enough.

I retired early too. Then have taken a few jobs for US companies for fun.  Wife and I have no children. Just us to go do whatever we like.  I have always lived well within my means and had good positions at companies leaving me money now to play.  

[NightSky]

Some blokes on here really need to get down from their fictitious 'superior high and mighty horse'.

 

Don't expect others to work 10-12 hour shifts for 10usd/day if you're not prepared to. ..why expect your wife to go out working for akin to slave labor to be paid 10,000-15,000/month for devoting all hours god sends if you wouldn't want to do it.

 

Your wife woks at home as a house wife FULL TIME especially if you have a child. You sound ungrateful and a bit like a spoiled child.

 

Man up and pay the bills whilst your wife is tending to everything else.

 

 

 

[kevinmartyn]

Tread very carefully going down this road the only real truth is they are looking for someone to take care of family. It does not matter <deleted> you look like its all about if you can provide for her and family!

[NoshowJones]

22 hours ago, BobbyL said:

Unless someone is rich, physically / mentally incapable of working, raising a newborn etc, then the people who just choose not to work and then try and sponge off someone else are the epitome of lazy. 

 

Just imagine the people around the world that would do anything for a chance to be able to work and even earn a low salary.

 

If your kids are of school age I would be telling her to get out and start earning her part in your relationship. We aren't living in 1910.

Before I met my wife, I started going out with a girl who had just bought a new Toyota truck, she wasn't skint, and I even met her family, but she kept asking me for money every time she wanted to buy something, even when she was fined 500Bt by a policeman for some road endeavor.

I just told her that I was not a walking ATM and that we should just finish. When I met my future wife, I made three journeys to Thailand over the following three months to see her before I decided that I wanted to be with her for good.

[zyphodb]

22 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems you pay for everything she wants.

Does she ask you from time to time if you agree how your money is spent?

Or do you dare to make suggestions yourself for what you want to spend your money?

In my experience you have to be quite strong about money or else you get walked all over. Certainly in Thai village life, it's usually the woman who controls the money, so they do expect to beable to spend yours. They automatically assume that you are just another feckless male who needs taking care of, including your money. You have to show quite early on that you don't belong to this stereotype or else reap what you sow lol

[moontang]

22 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

I never said she wasn't working, although hours spent in the day actually working aren't that many, she often naps and is on her phone a lot (like many are) She pays a laundry woman bt1800 a month for all the laundry.

Very bad.  Might even be siphoning 500 off the top.  

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

1 minute ago, moontang said:

Very bad.  Might even be siphoning 500 off the top.  

I don't literally give her 1800 baht to pay for laundry lol, it just comes out of what she has..and like I said before despite her 'faults' she doesn't do things like that and certainly not for 500 baht.

[FarFlungFalang]

My wife bought quite a lot of farmland and likes to play smart or dumb farmer which sucks a lot of money (along with all the cheap plastic cr@p I'm not allowed to chuck out) which I didn't mind when I was working but I've retired I've gone the cheap charlie route which has always been my natural style so I told the missus that I will no longer pay for anything farm related not even diesel for the tractor and after the dust settled she eventually realised that I was right to keep the money I have left for any real emergencies until I reach pension age by which time we can start living like kings and queens again.Just imagine having 40,000 baht a month to spend.I've always been prepared to walk away with absolutely no regrets or ill feelings if she wants me to leave.I do believe she loves me but that isn't the only thing that keeps me hear as I actually love it hear in Thailand and one of my goals in life is to get bored but I find that very difficult to do here as my wife's endless antics are a priceless source of enjoyment for me.

[NanLaew]

58 minutes ago, thaiboss said:

how many woman  aged 18 - 30 single mother  in thailand ? 10 milions more or less ?

Is this a test?

[Straight8]

22 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

I never said she wasn't working, although hours spent in the day actually working aren't that many, she often naps and is on her phone a lot (like many are) She pays a laundry woman bt1800 a month for all the laundry.

Wants a flashy car, no issue with dropping 5K on a vacuum cleaner, naps during the day, on the phone alot, and doesn't do laundry..  KKJ, you seem like a responsible and committed dude, but by the sound of things, you are in a world of pain & no light at the end of the tunnel, unless you make some massive changes at home and with your wife, none of which I am sure she'll like. 

 

Personally, if I had one piece of advice to anyone young (or old / older) guy wanting to start a serious relationship with a Thai lady in Thai, if they are poor, low paying job, forget the rest.... run as fast as you can, or be prepared to pay through the nose & wallet for a very long time.

Edited October 23, 2019 by Straight8

[Straight8]

22 hours ago, lopburi3 said:

I would not be so sure of that - ours didn't.  Now have 1.800 baht Sharp that will not die.

I can vouch for sharp products. Bloody durable and last a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

2 minutes ago, Straight8 said:

Wants a flashy car, no issue with dropping 5K on a vacuum cleaner, naps during the day, on the phone alot, and doesn't do laundry..  KKJ, you seem like a responsible and committed dude, but by the sound of things, you are in a world of pain & no light at the end of the tunnel, unless you make some massive changes at home and with your wife, none of which I am sure she'll like. 

 

Personally, if I had one piece of advice to anyone young (or old / older) guy wanting to start a serious relationship with a Thai lady in Thai, if they are poor, low paying job, forget the rest.... run as fast as you can, or be prepared to pay through the nose & wallet for a very long time.

Finally after 14 pages someone who is exactly on the same page..I wouldn't quite say a world of pain though..

 

Read through the thread and many are casting me as the villain of the piece,,,childish, spoilt, not responsible, told to man up, are just a few flung my way.

[The Theory]

23 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Genuine advice for any newbies here, do NOT marry a woman with no money, just don't do it, it is like supporting a child and you will be burdened down for years, if not forever.

 

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

Yep, I have no problems with investing for the future and acquiring assets etc...it's the daily/monthly needless spending that gets my goat.

Well, if you still have both feet, it's entirely up to you to decide if and when you want to put either one of them down on the needless spending. The blown tire was maybe a one-off but the vacuum cleaner didn't need to be high-end. In my small corner of this fiefdom, matters of capital expenditure such as replacement white goods are to be decided by me... after consultation with the main user of course. I never had a wife in my homeland but worked with many guys who did and the 'new kitchen' was always the £5000-10000 unspoken quid-pro-quo towards the men being allowed to continue their expensive and exclusive Ducatti thrashing or Austin Healey Sprite restoration. I doubt that the Thai wife has decided on that strategy yet; certainly not mine and she's an Isaan lass, so maybe you can start by paying attention to stuff that she uses that generally benefits all the family and makes her happy? Despite maybe being away at work, handing over cash and letting her just get on with it isn't the way to address this. That should take care of the big ticket items.

 

However, you mention a daily drip as well. I had to spend a few days working on a family budget a few years back when 'there's never enough' began to surface but it took about 2 or 3 months before the penny dropped and it became self-sustaining. If you have the self-discipline to stick with it, it's worth it.

[villagefarang]

Genuine advice for any Thai woman, do NOT marry a man with no money, just don't do it, it is like supporting a child and you will be burdened down for years, if not forever.????

Edited October 23, 2019 by villagefarang

[Straight8]

4 hours ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

All the angry replies are cracking me up..carry on

They're most likely in the same boat as you but only worse, don't worry about them!!

Edited October 23, 2019 by Straight8

[NanLaew]

20 minutes ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

25 minutes ago, Straight8 said:

Wants a flashy car, no issue with dropping 5K on a vacuum cleaner, naps during the day, on the phone alot, and doesn't do laundry..  KKJ, you seem like a responsible and committed dude, but by the sound of things, you are in a world of pain & no light at the end of the tunnel, unless you make some massive changes at home and with your wife, none of which I am sure she'll like. 

 

Personally, if I had one piece of advice to anyone young (or old / older) guy wanting to start a serious relationship with a Thai lady in Thai, if they are poor, low paying job, forget the rest.... run as fast as you can, or be prepared to pay through the nose & wallet for a very long time.

Finally after 14 pages someone who is exactly on the same page..I wouldn't quite say a world of pain though..

 

Read through the thread and many are casting me as the villain of the piece,,,childish, spoilt, not responsible, told to man up, are just a few flung my way.

It's rather evident that you are not really in charge of your home finances and you are simply a banker. Typically, the man does the fiscal management unless he knows his wife can do a better job. Your wife evidently can't so stop being (only) a banker.

Edited October 23, 2019 by NanLaew

[Khon Kaen Jeff]

3 minutes ago, NanLaew said:

It's rather evident that you are not really in charge of your home finances. Typically, the man does that unless he knows his wife does a better job.

I am in charge, she only has what she gets from me. The point here is that I probably give her too much but now I'm fed up with it she has grown accustomised to a particular lifestyle. As I said, I have made my bed..

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, Khon Kaen Jeff said:

I will just carry on I suppose, but just have a moan up every so often..and 'try' to make her see a bit of sense although I have done that before..

 

Another thing she does is takes the kids out to eat quite a lot..usual places, pizza co, kfc, mk, s&p etc..life of riley

Are you prepared to drop the nuke on her? Ie say no money for specific items unless you agree, and a certain amount for the budget per week ( just like my father did with my mother ) or you are walking?

If not, you'll be moaning till it gets too much and it's over.

She might end it if you do the nuke option, but if it means starting over, probably not.

[metisdead]

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