Don't make that classic mistake.

[kilslug]

5 minutes ago, Mitkof Island said:

Do you honestly believe anyone is going to listen when it seems the majority of foreigners either have a bar girl or a massage as a girlfriend or even wife. NO ! I gave up years ago warning guys they NEVER listen.

I've listened and I've learned so calm down. 

[Tagged]

2 minutes ago, Mitkof Island said:

Do you honestly believe anyone is going to listen when it seems the majority of foreigners either have a bar girl or a massage as a girlfriend or even wife. NO ! I gave up years ago warning guys they NEVER listen.

Tell us your story, and how to be successful in love in Thailand ? 

 

[Tagged]

On 2/6/2020 at 7:58 AM, worgeordie said:

Another first time poster with a novel .

regards Worgeordie

Great bate

[Aussiepeter]

Sorry folks but, after following this 'epic' saga, I just had to add this gem of info to the mix. In 2012, just after I had been diagnosed with cancer in C Mai, my totally useless married adulterous millionaire older brother (then age 64) told his wife that he was "heading off to LOS to help me". (UK/Oz/NZ/Canada please read '<deleted>'). Just after he arrived he walked out of his 5 star hotel and immediately fell for the charms of a friendly 'massage lady'. You can safely guess the rest. Quick bonk bareback and he was besotted. Single mum and sad story. Then he (a) did his best to avoid me (b) gave her lots of money AND the 'clap' and (c) did not help me at all, but instead bought her a brand new Honda 'Scoopy ? (or Honda something) that cost him over 90K baht ! He kept on banging her and sending her $K for some years after. Sound familiar ? We have ALL heard it before ...   

[kilslug]

57 minutes ago, digibum said:

 

Not trying to be a jerk but you really have a comprehension issue.  Elsewhere you took someone saying they would have been "out of there" when they found out they got the clap to leaving Thailand.  Slow down and try to take in what people are telling you before you assume the meaning behind something. 

 

In another response you try to make a distinction between a bar girl and a massage girl at a rub and tug, they're both prostitutes, they both go into the business for the same reasons, and they both tend to do the same kinds of things.  That's why I, and others, have said the story never changes.  Within the first paragraph of someone telling these stories, you can almost guess how it ends, because, so often, it ends the same way. 

 

Here's an example of you reading the words but not getting the meaning.

 

 

If you read what I wrote, I wasn't passing judgement on you.  I was saying that you signaled to her that you were not ready for what she does by getting into an argument with her about it.  Why would she be honest about anything else with you about her business after that? 

 

Essentially, I'm saying, there was an action (you getting into an argument with her about it) and a very predictable reaction (her not being honest with you about her business). 

 

 

Again, I think you read the words but missed the point.  They're always going to tell you that they did it because of the kids or to take care of the family or whatever.  Most of the time, it's total BS. 

 

Telling their customers that they sell they want nice things doesn't generate a lot of sympathy and sympathy is the thing that makes some poor sucker keep sending her money long after their vacation is over. 

 

Yet again, the story is always the same.  I've never heard a girl say, "Oh, I do it because I'm lazy and want to make lots of money." 

 

 

it also comes down to the fact that prostitutes lie.  It's a skill more important than the sex.  Sex is relatively cheap.  Making a guy think he's something special is worth a lot of money. 

 

And I don't see the point of remaining friends.  What purpose does that serve either of you?  Girls like her are a dime a dozen in Thailand so why make friends when the next one you meet will have the same background (from Issan, has X children at living with her parents from a Thai boyfriends that knocked her up when she was 16, blah, blah, blah), and probably the same BS lines she feeds you. 

 

Based on how your original post and how you've reacted to others, it seems like you had real feelings for her and you feel jilted finding out that you were just another sucker. 

 

Again, every guy thinks his prostitute is different but 99% of the time, it all ends the same way. 

 

That's the point people are trying to get across.  There was never a real relationship there.  You were a source of income.  That's it.  The sooner you come to accept that fact, the easier things will be on you. 

 

She didn't lie to you to hurt you.  She lied to you because that's her job.  Do you get angry when you go to Disneyland and find out Mickey Mouse is really just a guy with a costume on?  Of course not.  So why are you so upset to find out that a prostitute created the illusion of a relationship in the hopes of making money off of the fantasy she created?  It's what she does. 

 

 

You're sort of trying to throw yourself another pity party here.  You didn't have a LDR.  You banged a prostitute in Thailand and I don't think anybody would fault you for not giving her money once you go home.  Next time you come to Thailand, fine, pay her for the girl friend experience she's providing.  But realize that she'll probably be tugging on another guy's willy before the tires of your plane have even left the runway.   

 

If you can be a big boy and realize that prostitutes do this for a living, and that part of the job is making you think that you're the special one, you can have a lot of fun.  If you're going to demand apologies and get upset because she lies to you about all of the other guys she's banging, Thailand is not for you. 

 

Pity party? I mean if you keep repeating the same mistakes and look for sympathy then that would be a pity party. This experience was new to me. I think you just have a superiority complex over me because you have spent more time in Thailand are more familiar with the pitfalls of the culture and I didn't. You think I'm stupid and your smart because you have more experience. Why would I make any assumptions about a person and culture I know nothing about? Why would I assume prostitutes are good or bad If I've never spent any amount of time with one? Unless you look for this information before going to Thailand you don't find it so stop being a d*ck. Also I wasn't paying her money. I was buying her meals. You could argue it was not a heartfelt relationship but it wasn't like I was paying 3000 baht a night to keep her. Pretty much what you want to call a relationship is subjective. Just because a person doesn't really like you and is with you for the sole purpose of material gain doesn't make it not a relationship. People marry these girls too. Does it make them fake wives? 

Edited February 7, 2020 by kilslug

[digibum]

15 minutes ago, kilslug said:

Depends how you interpret the story. Some men would have lost their minds at the woman and left her apartment immediately without hesitation yeah. I don't know how you can claim that isn't a strong emotional response. As far as I was concerned I was going to have more fun with her than without her. I don't hold grudges for long and I didn't really want a spend a week in Thailand on my own because it would have been boring. Also why would I want to pay for hotel? incomprehsible to you apparently. Am I emotional about it? Sure somewhat. I'm only human. If you make a friend and have a good time with them or spend a few weeks cuddling up to a woman in her apartment and then have a big falling out I would imagine you would feel a bit sad If you're not a complete sociopath. I played it cool and didn't want to pi** her off. Maybe you would have stormed out and flipped her the middle finger. That's your choice. I don't do that. 

 

First off, that was the advice the other person gave you.  I simply clarified his meaning when you obviously did not comprehend what he meant. 

 

That said, you know there are options between storming out and staying with her, right?  You could have just told her that things weren't working out and given her the cash to go home. 

 

Quote

As far as I was concerned I was going to have more fun with her than without her.

 

Hmmm . . . let's compare this to your original post. 

 

Quote

We were in Pattaya at the time and after an argument

Quote

I know she got a nurse to lie to me about her test results

Quote

I asked her to go to the hospital a few days later to get another test and some better medicine and she refused

Quote

I kind of just pretended I was stupider than I was

Quote

To wrap up this story she never admitted to cheating or giving me the STD. She did briefly when I put her under a lot of stress and pressure but would always resort back to claiming innocence later.

 

I don't know, I bet I could have a much better time in Pattaya than arguing with a prostitute that gave me the clap to go have a checkup and then getting into another argument trying to convince her to get proper medicine and then getting into an argument trying to get her to admit that she had been doing something that was patently obvious and have her lying to my face. 

 

I don't know, bro.  That's an easy call for me.

 

Quote

If you make a friend and have a good time with them or spend a few weeks cuddling up to a woman in her apartment and then have a big falling out I would imagine you would feel a bit sad If you're not a complete sociopath.

 

Yet again, there are options outside of being a sociopath and whatever it is that you're feeling.

 

First off, you didn't have a falling out, she revealed herself to be someone other than you thought she was. 

 

Step one is to quit framing this like you had any sort of relationship.  You liked her.  She convincingly played a girlfriend while you were in Thailand for the purposes of making money from you.  And while you were gone she was banging other dudes and wanking off customers and probably telling many of them the same stories she was telling you.  That's not a relationship. 

 

You say here that you made a friend but when you offered her friendship, she refused it, and was only interested in continuing the charade of a relationship because there's no money in just being a friend.  That doesn't sound like a friendship either. 

 

That should tell you everything you need to know about whatever kind of relationship you think you had. 

 

Hey, if it sounds like I'm being harsh or uncaring, well, it's because the best piece of advice I ever got after breaking up with a woman was from my best friend who told me that he would listen to my self-pity for one evening and one evening only.  After that, he said he would shut me down if I tried bringing up her name again.  We got thoroughly drunk that night and the next day I started getting on with my life. 

That's what you need to do.  You've had your little pity-party and now it's time for you to forget about her and move on.  It sounds like you've been carrying this around for awhile now and trying to pretend that you lost of a friend or a girlfriend.  You didn't.  She was never your-anything to begin with, other than a nice piece of ass in paradise. 

 

Guaranteed she's moved on. 

[digibum]

1 hour ago, kilslug said:

Pity party? I mean if you keep repeating the same mistakes and look for sympathy then that would be a pity party. This experience was new to me. I think you just have a superiority complex over me because you have spent more time in Thailand are more familiar with the pitfalls of the culture and I didn't. You think I'm stupid and your smart because you have more experience. Why would I make any assumptions about a person and culture I know nothing about? Why would I assume prostitutes are good or bad If I've never spent any amount of time with one? Unless you look for this information before going to Thailand you don't find it so stop being a d*ck. Also I wasn't paying her money. I was buying her meals. You could argue it was not a heartfelt relationship but it wasn't like I was paying 3000 baht a night to keep her. Pretty much what you want to call a relationship is subjective. Just because a person doesn't really like you and is with you for the sole purpose of material gain doesn't make it not a relationship. People marry these girls too. Does it make them fake wives? 

 

I call it a pity party because you posted your story, people told you all the mistakes you made, and you keep arguing with them, because they refuse to console you.  You can't even separate criticism of your actions for hate towards you.  That's kind of how pity works.  You want people to ignore everything you did wrong and tell you, "Tough break, mate." 

 

Quote

Seriously are you guys that p*ssed off at me? I'll delete it if nobody wants to see it. I just thought it would be a good laugh and relateable story to some. 

 

Also, you claim that you are very well read on the topic of girls in Thailand, in fact you said you quite enjoy reading stories like this, and now you're saying that you are completely clueless as to how anything works in Thailand. 

 

Quote

I understand but that's a good thing isn't it? It validates the theory and builds on the knowledge. I like reading these kinds of stories. I look for them actually. If you don't care that's understandable though. 

 

Nobody faults you for not knowing.  But your constant defending of your actions and trying to find excuses is what makes you do difficult to educate. 

 

Even based on your comment below, you still can't wrap your head around it. 

 

Quote

Just because a person doesn't really like you and is with you for the sole purpose of material gain doesn't make it not a relationship. People marry these girls too. Does it make them fake wives? 

Actually it does make it not a real relationship, bro.  Please, please, please, if you learn one thing from this experience, and this thread, it's that a girl that is banging you ONLY for money is not a real relationship.

 

I'm not married to a bar girl so I can't speak to that specifically but I would imagine, based on people that I know that have married bar girls, that the ones that have anything resembling a decent marriage, it started off as a transactional relationship, but turned into love at some point. 

 

Plenty of guys have married bar girls where there was no love (other than her love of money) and those almost always end very badly. 

 

[Number 6]

On 2/7/2020 at 5:19 AM, kilslug said:

Do you know any men who have caught HIV from females personally

Must be dozens in the porn industry.

 

My suspicion is that it's rather shameful so few would let their friends know. They'd just make plans to die alone.

 

What about that German guy upcountry with HIV? Said to have infected dozens of young women.

[bkk6060]

On 2/6/2020 at 8:00 AM, BritManToo said:

I've been banging everything that moves for the past ten years.

Only been asked to use a condom twice.

Barebacking is the norm.

Appreciate your honesty.

My experience also.  Maybe 5 out of 100 will request it.

 

Many falang and others come here to fullfill their porn fantasies.

This is one of the biggest falang lie that I know.  "I always glove up".  Then throw out judgement. Nice try.

[kilslug]

On 2/7/2020 at 1:56 PM, digibum said:

 

First off, that was the advice the other person gave you.  I simply clarified his meaning when you obviously did not comprehend what he meant. 

 

That said, you know there are options between storming out and staying with her, right?  You could have just told her that things weren't working out and given her the cash to go home. 

 

 

Hmmm . . . let's compare this to your original post. 

 

 

I don't know, I bet I could have a much better time in Pattaya than arguing with a prostitute that gave me the clap to go have a checkup and then getting into another argument trying to convince her to get proper medicine and then getting into an argument trying to get her to admit that she had been doing something that was patently obvious and have her lying to my face. 

 

I don't know, bro.  That's an easy call for me.

 

 

Yet again, there are options outside of being a sociopath and whatever it is that you're feeling.

 

First off, you didn't have a falling out, she revealed herself to be someone other than you thought she was. 

 

Step one is to quit framing this like you had any sort of relationship.  You liked her.  She convincingly played a girlfriend while you were in Thailand for the purposes of making money from you.  And while you were gone she was banging other dudes and wanking off customers and probably telling many of them the same stories she was telling you.  That's not a relationship. 

 

You say here that you made a friend but when you offered her friendship, she refused it, and was only interested in continuing the charade of a relationship because there's no money in just being a friend.  That doesn't sound like a friendship either. 

 

That should tell you everything you need to know about whatever kind of relationship you think you had. 

 

Hey, if it sounds like I'm being harsh or uncaring, well, it's because the best piece of advice I ever got after breaking up with a woman was from my best friend who told me that he would listen to my self-pity for one evening and one evening only.  After that, he said he would shut me down if I tried bringing up her name again.  We got thoroughly drunk that night and the next day I started getting on with my life. 

That's what you need to do.  You've had your little pity-party and now it's time for you to forget about her and move on.  It sounds like you've been carrying this around for awhile now and trying to pretend that you lost of a friend or a girlfriend.  You didn't.  She was never your-anything to begin with, other than a nice piece of ass in paradise. 

 

Guaranteed she's moved on. 

Yeah well if she's moved on that's good. Again a girlfriend is only word and that's all it is. It's not a profession or something you can objectively prove. It's like arguing over whether love exists. It's all based on fantasy and interpretation anyway. If it was up to me the word girlfriend wouldn't exist. It would be wife or nothing because that actually describes something concrete. If I'm banging someone for free and they tell me they're my girlfriend do I really need to get too philosophical about it? If they use the word then so can I as far as I'm concerned. Also she would have kept in touch had I not made a big deal about her admitting to what had happened. You could argue she would only agree to be friends because she wants to be bought nice things and have free holidays but there's a certain naivety about women a lot of men have. It doesn't matter whether they're prostitutes or not. They're not with you for love or some BS like that. It's about utility emotional and material and allowing them to realize their aspirations. You being vehicle for that. I get emotionally attached to all women because I'm a man but I know what they're all about. You can say be detached, stop being romantic, stop trying to bond with people that are all about themselves especially prostitutes. All women who are not your mother are out for themselves mate whether you accept that or not. 

[UbonThani]

Most massage shops in Bangkok and around the country are legit. Usually they just do massage or maybe hand.

 

Sleeping with 8 people is not the norm. But rogue ones can spot a green tourist.

[UbonThani]

On 2/7/2020 at 10:46 PM, kilslug said:

Pity party? I mean if you keep repeating the same mistakes and look for sympathy then that would be a pity party. This experience was new to me. I think you just have a superiority complex over me because you have spent more time in Thailand are more familiar with the pitfalls of the culture and I didn't. You think I'm stupid and your smart because you have more experience. Why would I make any assumptions about a person and culture I know nothing about? Why would I assume prostitutes are good or bad If I've never spent any amount of time with one? Unless you look for this information before going to Thailand you don't find it so stop being a d*ck. Also I wasn't paying her money. I was buying her meals. You could argue it was not a heartfelt relationship but it wasn't like I was paying 3000 baht a night to keep her. Pretty much what you want to call a relationship is subjective. Just because a person doesn't really like you and is with you for the sole purpose of material gain doesn't make it not a relationship. People marry these girls too. Does it make them fake wives? 

So you had dinner dates with a girl you hardly knew. Hardly a gf. More like a fling. The country is irrevelant. I've had about 50 massages. Not once did I buy them a buffet. Not once was I asked. Yelling at you across the street is a pretty big sign the girl is not normal. Seriously what woman does that? Take the blinkers off.

[UbonThani]

On 2/7/2020 at 10:30 PM, Tagged said:

Tell us your story, and how to be successful in love in Thailand ? 

 

Same as anywhere. Find a normal one not someone who sleeps with 8 people a week. What job they do doesnt matter unless they are a hooker.

[kilslug]

1 hour ago, UbonThani said:

So you had dinner dates with a girl you hardly knew. Hardly a gf. More like a fling. The country is irrevelant. I've had about 50 massages. Not once did I buy them a buffet. Not once was I asked. Yelling at you across the street is a pretty big sign the girl is not normal. Seriously what woman does that? Take the blinkers off.

What's wrong with buying a massage girl a buffet? Don't people go on dates because they don't know each other? Do I need to know someone months or years before going on a date? Yes more like a fling but she liked to call me her boyfriend. What am I going to do say? I'm not your boyfriend to a girl I'm staying with at her place for two weeks? That would be pretty rude. Uh why is that not normal? We did talk prior to her yelling my name and suggest hanging out. What blinkers am I wearing? I'm hardly claiming she's in love with me and I can't wait to give this girl another shot. She gave me the clap. I'm done. End of story. I know people are looking for a love sick puppy who's pining for a prostitute to make fun of but that's not the story. The story is dumb tourist gets burned and learns a lesson. So please people get it right. 

Edited February 10, 2020 by kilslug

[UbonThani]

How many women yell across the street?

 

It's not normal. Clear red flag. Must have been desperate.

[UbonThani]

On 2/8/2020 at 5:08 PM, bkk6060 said:

Appreciate your honesty.

My experience also.  Maybe 5 out of 100 will request it.

 

Many falang and others come here to fullfill their porn fantasies.

This is one of the biggest falang lie that I know.  "I always glove up".  Then throw out judgement. Nice try.

You slept with 100?

[kilslug]

12 hours ago, UbonThani said:

Most massage shops in Bangkok and around the country are legit. Usually they just do massage or maybe hand.

 

Sleeping with 8 people is not the norm. But rogue ones can spot a green tourist.

No almost every massage shop In Phuket has girls trying to pull you in waiting at the door. It was the same when I went to Pattaya. It’s worse in the tourist areas though. 

[faraday]

4 minutes ago, kilslug said:

No almost every massage shop In Phuket has girls trying to pull you in waiting at the door. It was the same when I went to Pattaya. It’s worse in the tourist areas though. 

In Patong maybe, but not Phuket town.

[UbonThani]

42 minutes ago, kilslug said:

No almost every massage shop In Phuket has girls trying to pull you in waiting at the door. It was the same when I went to Pattaya. It’s worse in the tourist areas though. 

Patong is a green tourist ghetto. The legit shops they show respect. That's where you get a good massage. If the staff are aggressive then the massages will be bad.

 

Pattaya is the red light capital. 100,000 hookers.

[androokery]

On 2/7/2020 at 12:30 AM, kilslug said:

Oh trust me I learned that the hard way and I told her during our last conversations that if she keeps this up she's going to get the HIV if she doesn't have it already. She had a rapid HIV test done at the clinic that was negative so hopefully it wasn't faked. Of course she denies bare-backing anyone and claims she's a puritan outside of her work. This is part of the reason I left also. If you can't get people to admit to their reckless's and stupidity there is little you can do to help or change them. I was screened for everything and everything was fine. I need a second test for HIV in a month or two to make sure but I know I wont have it because I'm not gay or on heroin. 

You had bareback sex with a massage girl and she's the reckless one...?

[kilslug]

13 minutes ago, androokery said:

You had bareback sex with a massage girl and she's the reckless one...?

If you're stupid enough to believe what she tells you. I only started bare-backing her after she told me she was looking for a relationship. It was all condoms on the first holiday with her. I think we're both pretty reckless though. She was very pretty so it was hard to say no. 

[kilslug]

On 2/8/2020 at 6:48 AM, Number 6 said:

Must be dozens in the porn industry.

 

My suspicion is that it's rather shameful so few would let their friends know. They'd just make plans to die alone.

 

What about that German guy upcountry with HIV? Said to have infected dozens of young women.

This is my point. It's men that mainly spread the virus not women because of the biological differences. It's very hard perhaps even impossible to get HIV into a penis. Very easy to get it into a vagina or an anus. Every HIV outbreak in the porn industry has been because of a male performer that has had it. Of course it's possible if you have a considerable amount of blood coming from your penis or a very bad wound but you can also say that for a finger or a limb so it's just not likely. It's much less than a 1% chance even according to CDC estimates that a man gets infected from a female so you know it's only a theoretical risk. 

Edited February 10, 2020 by kilslug

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, kilslug said:

It's very hard perhaps even impossible to get HIV into a penis.

My pal managed it, and died from AIDs last summer.

[kilslug]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

My pal managed it, and died from AIDs last summer.

I doubt it. You don't just get AIDS. You get a bunch of symptoms after a period of years of which you would probably go to a doctor for and then get on medication for which would prevent you from dying. Also who's going to admit to taking a d*ck up the ass? Gay people don't even want to admit to it yet alone straight and bisexual men. Nice BS story though. 

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, kilslug said:

I doubt it. You don't just get AIDS. You get a bunch of symptoms after a period of years of which you would probably go to a doctor for and then get on medication for which would prevent you from dying. Also who's going to admit to taking a d*ck up the ass? Gay people don't even want to admit to it yet alone straight and bisexual men. Nice BS story though. 

I travelled and whored all over Asia with the guy for 10 years.

He had no symptoms, until pneumonia, medical evac to London, then spent the next year in the hospital dying.

If he was gay, I failed to notice it.

 

But believe what you want, I don't really care.

[kilslug]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

I travelled and whored all over Asia with the guy for 10 years.

He had no symptoms, until pneumonia, medical evac to London, then spent the next year in the hospital dying.

If he was gay, I failed to notice it.

 

But believe what you want, I don't really care.

He was gay. I'm not trying to insult anyone. I'm literally just saying what I believe to be true. I'm so confident that HIV is not transmitted from females to males that I would enter a trial where I only had sex with HIV positive women for science. I don't think it's ever happened and if it has happened It was probably under some very rare circumstances.

Edited February 10, 2020 by kilslug

[Tagged]

44 minutes ago, kilslug said:

He was gay. I'm not trying to insult anyone. I'm literally just saying what I believe to be true. I'm so confident that HIV is not transmitted from females to males that I would enter a trial where I only had sex with HIV positive women for science. I don't think it's ever happened and if it has happened It was probably under some very rare circumstances.

Men get infected by hiv trough std´s as clamydia, gonorea, herpes, 

 

google and enlighten yourself

Edited February 10, 2020 by Tagged

[starky]

On 2/6/2020 at 9:56 AM, potless said:

The one thing tat bothers me is H.I.V. I dont want that again.

That's good luck for you then.

 

[UbonThani]

7 hours ago, kilslug said:

He was gay. I'm not trying to insult anyone. I'm literally just saying what I believe to be true. I'm so confident that HIV is not transmitted from females to males that I would enter a trial where I only had sex with HIV positive women for science. I don't think it's ever happened and if it has happened It was probably under some very rare circumstances.

Vaginal sex under 0.1% chance. Do the maths.

 

1m <deleted> women with hiv no condom. That means under 1000 get it. Say 800 get it.

 

If someone shags for 10 years maybe 500 women then high chance. The chance could be say 15% or higher.

 

Edited February 10, 2020 by UbonThani

[UbonThani]

 https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/lyn-parent-contracted-hiv-after-getting-tattoo/news-story/63ca2b3ad9f751cffea4033f95d8699f