Relationship Success Or Failure

[ghengis]

Are farangs who have long term relationships with Bar Girls (or similar) more likely to have unstable or failed relationships than those who have long-term relationships with other (non Bar Girl) Thai women?

[stroll]

To provide a Buddhist answer that will save a lot of aggro:

Yes, and no. And neither of the two.

[ghengis]

There is a paradox about Bar Girl relationships.

When reading many Thai expat related websites you get the impression that relationships with Bar Girls are largely doomed. I have seen figures that say 80% of these relationships fail mentioned on some sites.

However, there seems to be huge numbers of Bar Girls who are happily married to farangs. My wife reckons 60% of Thai women in the UK are ex Bar Girls, and many of these women never speak openly about their previous life.

So is the "Bar Girl=Disaster" theory a myth? Are they no worse than relationships with other Thai women?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

There is a paradox about Bar Girl relationships.

When reading many Thai expat related websites you get the impression that relationships with Bar Girls are largely doomed. I have seen figures that say 80% of these relationships fail mentioned on some sites.

However, there seems to be huge numbers of Bar Girls who are happily married to farangs. My wife reckons 60% of Thai women in the UK are ex Bar Girls, and many of these women never speak openly about their previous life.

So is the "Bar Girl=Disaster" theory a myth? Are they no worse than relationships with other Thai women?

IMHO, more relationships are lasting one's, than those that fail. Remember that 50 per cent of western/ western marriages fail.

[KevinN]

I really do not know for sure, But what I have seen, I would say that it is about equal chances of going either way.

A lot depends on what kind of a person each is, I have a friend that has been with one for 7 years and they get on very good,and know other farang that are married and have a stable relationships, But they do not continue to hang out at bars and take their wifes to bars and roar around all nite drunk.

I had a Tea Girl in Viet Nam for 2 years and left not long before the fall and lost track of her,she was not your regular Prostitute,but a Tea Girl,and we lived together and I did not hang out at the bars and she stayed at home and was a good wife,then my contract ended and before I could get hooked up with a new contract,every thing fell apart and I have not been back since.

[davethailand]

Are farangs who have long term relationships with Bar Girls (or similar) more likely to have unstable or failed relationships than those who have long-term relationships with other (non Bar Girl) Thai women?

Not in my case i'm pleased to say.

[theviking]

Well.....

Let them divorce.

The more divorces, the more girls for me, hehe

[Yohan]

When reading many Thai expat related websites you get the impression that relationships with Bar Girls are largely doomed. I have seen figures that say 80% of these relationships fail mentioned on some sites.

Nobody knows this clearly....How do they know?

There are no official statistics about that.....

And who is a bargirl?

These are all estimates by some people of a local newspaper and so on, who are talking to some related persons, like bargirls, hotel-owners, questioning married couples...

Any result might be possible...

If you say 80 percent.....

General divorce rate in Europe among ordinary couples is about 50 percent.

Considering the fact, that these are Asian girls from bars, dating European foreigners often with strong language barriers and cultural problems and high social differences, then even 80 percent failure might be acceptable -

20 are out and gone for a long-term relationship....80 are searching again

Sounds me realistic and not bad at all.

Johann

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Here we go again...

Can't comment because A: I can't be bothered and B: I'm off to meet the bargirl I should have married - the one I mentioned in a previous post who I haven't seen for six months. We're going to eat ice cream and become even better friends and hopefully her boyfriend will turn out to be really nasty and she will be mine and I will tell the world that I am spending my life with a funny prostitute.

(Ex prostitute - she's at business school now, so there)

[davethailand]

Here we go again...

Can't comment because A: I can't be bothered and B: I'm off to meet the bargirl I should have married - the one I mentioned in a previous post who I haven't seen for six months. We're going to eat ice cream and become even better friends and hopefully her boyfriend will turn out to be really nasty and she will be mine and I will tell the world that I am spending my life with a funny prostitute.

(Ex prostitute - she's at business school now, so there)

And good luck with it also GS

[Axel]

Can we add a few more categories? Like:

Relationship Success Or Failure, Are hairdressers better/worse than non-hairdressers

Relationship Success Or Failure, Are sales girls better/worse than non-sales girls

Relationship Success Or Failure, Are air hostesses better/worse than non-air hostesses

OK, I could go on and on. Most important is the personality and the capability to forget about the advantages she might have had. If the person is willing to go with her man until death (or the divorce court ) does them part than everything should be ok.

Alternatively, if the husband can offer her a life better than she had before, it should be ok.

If she climbs down from her 'social position' to become wife and live from the husband's income of Baht 50,000 pm, I doubt it will work, although here can be the age-factor important. Both of same age group, it can work as the couple can work together on the carreer.

If she climbs UP the social ladder it might be difficult as well, the pressure could be too much. Take in the example a active CEO who wants his wife to help by representing socially. Not easy.

Now translate this into BG, hairdresser, office girls, waitresses, air hostesses or whatever.

If we take a BG as what she is, a professional in her chosen carreer who loves her job and enjoys the privileges she will think twice before giving up her profession to get married. If she does whisper "I do" offer her a replacement of what she had.

I believe this is true for any relationship, and I saw many over the last few decades both failures or successes It is UP2 the 2 of U

[stroll]

"(Ex prostitute - she's at business school now, so there)"

Aren't they all?

Good luck, anyway.

[fatter than harry]

The never ending bar girl debate.

I'm of the opinion that it is the non bar girl part of the equation that is mostly responsible for the actions of the bar girl.

[rainman]

The real question is, are you going to base your relationships' chances with your girl on a non-scientific poll?

[Bluecat]

The real question is, are you going to base your relationships' chances with your girl on a non-scientific poll?

Of course not.

I'll do it based on a scientific poll.

Next one please,...

[eric1000]

Are farangs who have long term relationships with Bar Girls (or similar) more likely to have unstable or failed relationships than those who have long-term relationships with other (non Bar Girl) Thai women?

both categories are the same for treachery and unreliability .

I know a thai gal who married a brit she met thru an agency , came to UK 4 years ago, now has the passport and credit cards galore . She has totally changed over the 4 years .

now very independant and free spirited ..

Never worked in a bar or freelanced ,but worked in a jewelry shop in BKK.

Her hubby is now surplus to requirments and is on the chop , she has been carrying on with other blokes and he has found out , so a divorce is imminent .

You can find good and bad BGs and the same for non BGs .

What i do know is that once you take a gal out of thailand they undergo a big change , because they have more financial freedom and options for jobs etc..and are more likely to vamoose at some time ...

[Boon Mee]

I'm really surprised Elco hasn't weighed in on this one yet.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I'm really surprised Elco hasn't weighed in on this one yet.

Boon ... however can you forget his name ... he's Erco, and bound to weigh in with an anti bargirl tirade. He has had a range of names has ole Erco.

[Polly]

Why don't you all get your heads out of your bums and call them what they are:

Prostitutes.

The questiion is: Does a relationship have more chance of success with a prostitute on a non prostitute.

But considering that all of you are the kind of men who have to pay for it, it is not even a question.

[Yohan]

Why don't you all get your heads out of your bums and call them what they are:

Prostitutes.

The questiion is: Does a relationship have more chance of success with a prostitute on a non prostitute.

But considering that all of you are the kind of men who have to pay for it, it is not even a question.

I have first to ask for permission if I am allowed to answer this question and this statement.

Question:

You all are the kind of men who have to pay for it, it is not even a question,

(if a relationship has more chance of success with a prostitute on a non prostitute)

Answer: (waiting for permission)

(Mrs. Boo, shall I hijack this thread?)

Statement:

Why don't you all get your heads out of your bums and call them what they are:

Prostitutes.

Answer: (waiting for permission)

(Davethailand, shall I show up to defend Thai bargirls?

Request to the administrator of Thaivisa-Forum:

Please do not delete my posting, because I am a man.......

Johann

[Axel]

Aaah, finally. Now Polly sounds like Erco.

Still, I do prefer BG.

Prostitute should be reserved to the big, fat and ugly ones, who have no joy in their profession and no dedication. Or the ones, who stop any activity the moment they leave the registrar's having reached their target, so to speak.

[Bluecat]

But considering that all of you are the kind of men who have to pay for it, it is not even a question.

All of us are the kind of men who have to pay for it.

And you are the kind of men who do not have to pay for it.

Congratulations.

Maybe you should advertise yourself more, all of us dream of being like you,...

[stroll]

I think Polly is a woman, Bluecat.

And if the info in the divorce threads is right, 'straight' women and bargirls are much more expensive than prostitutes, but then, they offer much more in terms of quality relationship.

[stroll]

Yohan, I am glad you are finally getting the message.

Next time just pm Polly or Boo before you post, don't waste others' time by asking for permission in public.

[Bluecat]

I think Polly is a woman, Bluecat.

My mistake, I do not read all the postings.

Maybe she is.

Sorry Polly.

I understand your frustation.

And I will end up here.

I could add a few more remarks but it would not help this forum,...

[Polly]

YOHAN! This is a discussion forum. Everyone has a right of reply! You are being patronising asking for permission.

If you are so twisted, you cannot give an answer without trying to make me feel that I am being totally unreasonable, then dont answre. Simple.

Women who take money for sex are prostitutes. Give it a euphenism if it makes you feel better, but the fact remains!

[davethailand]

But considering that all of you are the kind of men who have to pay for it, it is not even a question.

All of us are the kind of men who have to pay for it.

And you are the kind of men who do not have to pay for it.

Congratulations.

Maybe you should advertise yourself more, all of us dream of being like you,...

excellent post BC, and true.

Go ahead Yohan

Polly, it may be true but is'nt it a bit derogatory,

[ghengis]

Women who take money for sex are ... also called wives.

The difference between protitutes and wives is that in one case the transaction is agreed beforehand. Most men have to pay one way or another for sex. Some would say that a wife is the more expensive option.

[Axel]

Women who take money for sex are prostitutes. Give it a euphenism if it makes you feel better, but the fact remains!

A very clear statement, just black or white, no shade in between.

I do not need euphemisms but still like to distinguish, although one could agree, money for sex is prostitution.

If we replace 'money' with 'dinner' is it still prostitution?

How about a car or a house? Perhaps combined with a wedding ring?

How about a bargirl who goes free of charge with her BF after 'office hours'?

The classical prostitute, of course, is the girl who marries another girls former, at least in the other girls mind.

So euphemism or not, the woman in the whorehouses of the West, serving 20 plus clients a day without feeling, I call prostitutes and have no respect.

The Thai BG, who does a job and even might refuse to go out with the one or other, I call BG and respect them for doing a job which is there.

A woman who has sex, without asking for money straight up, but to marry this rich guy I call a prostitute, albeit of a higher class. Top of the carreer would be 4-5 times divorced subsequently. Are we allowed to call them prositutes or what else?

The uiltimate prostitutes in my eyes, are the daughters who marry the sons of dad's competitors to pacify the market. Not long ago this was even made in the interest of the state or a kingdom.

So, I do agree money for sex = prostitution. More money for sex = divorcee?

Houses, cars and wedding ring = wife (?)

So I still like the name BG. At least they are honest in what they are doing.

[eric1000]

Why don't you all get your heads out of your bums and call them what they are:

Prostitutes.

The questiion is: Does a relationship have more chance of success with a prostitute on a non prostitute.

But considering that all of you are the kind of men who have to pay for it, it is not even a question.

Polly sounds like a female impersonator ... some gent masquerading as a woman

and a troll to boot