35 years sober and I still need a meeting

[ding]

COVID-19 quarantine;

It doesn't seem to matter how long I'm sober or how many meetings I've been to - I still need the fellowship.

I contact the higher power daily, providing the usual laughs still.

 

Anger popped up recently. "Justifiable anger", my favorite brand. So, it's clear my regular dose of meetings has been interrupted by quarantine.

 

It keeps popping into my head... What are the newcomers doing?

If I'm losing the plot a bit it's a given that 'newcomer me' would be foaming at the mouth with snot bubbles.

 

My hope is that newcomers are more technologically savvy and there are online meetings.

YouTube has audio-only speakers meetings and I binge on those sometimes. They're good. They're not meetings though.

 

Just chiming in. Grateful for today in more than one way.

[timendres]

A good friend who has just passed 20 years sober, expressed the exact same feelings. 

[Puchaiyank]

Good for you Ding!  Have a childhood buddy that put his family through hell which ended in a divorce...

 

He has been sober many years but some wounds never fully heal.

 

Hang in there buddy and offer your support to those on shaky ground...????

[ding]

40 minutes ago, Puchaiyank said:

 Have a childhood buddy that put his family through hell which ended in a divorce...

 

He has been sober many years but some wounds never fully heal.

 

 

Thanks. I married a wonderful Thai lady 14 years ago and we have yet to even bicker. Blame her for that!

Yep, the dry drunk is awful. I got a PhD in dry drunk my first 3 years. I took me 5 years to learn to crawl... sometimes slowly I guess.

 

I went to 3-4 meetings a day to combat that early on. Today, I figure I need every one of those meetings.

[2 is 1]

Friends you can't find. They come to you! Have 2! Love them more than this life!

[chickenslegs]

Sober since 1985.

 

You have my admiration, Ding. - your wife too.

[impulse]

Lots of meetings are now on Zoom, with the conference ID number posted where you'd normally look for a meeting schedule.  In my case, that's the Houston AA intergroup website.  Not quite the same as an in-person meeting, but the flipside is that we've had people attending that moved away years ago, and a lot of Winter Texans who went back home for the summer but still like to keep in touch with their winter groups here in Galveston.  With Zoom meetings, they can.

 

12/21/1988

 

[Raphus]

Hello.

Contact Arsenal Dave on FaceBook. He is an organiser of online meetings in London. They are having a lot of foreign people joining their meetings.

They will gladly accept your virtual chair.

Stay safe brother.

 

[JensenZ]

1 hour ago, timendres said:

A good friend who has just passed 20 years sober, expressed the exact same feelings. 

Just curious - when you say "20 years sober", does that mean 20 years no alcohol, or just not drinking enough to get drunk?

[Don Chance]

Why not take some Baclofen now and then, why suffer so?

[brokenbone]

change gf perhaps, i had one that was so boring so

i lost the will to party and live, it just isnt going to happen

that i will be in mood for party again

[impulse]

2 hours ago, JensenZ said:

Just curious - when you say "20 years sober", does that mean 20 years no alcohol, or just not drinking enough to get drunk?

 

20 years, no alcohol.  In a row.  Nights and weekends and holidays, too...

 

All done one day at a time.

 

[stereolab]

I recently passed 31 years without alcohol, all done by myself, never attended any meetings, never sought advice from the M.O.  

[timendres]

12 hours ago, JensenZ said:

Just curious - when you say "20 years sober", does that mean 20 years no alcohol, or just not drinking enough to get drunk?

My friend was a serious alcoholic. One day he visited his mom for holiday. That day, he was unable to get his "morning pint", and there was nothing to drink at mom's house. He stood up to get something from the kitchen. When he stood up, he passed out and stopped breathing. The next thing he knew, he woke up in the emergency room. When he woke, the doctor came and explained what happened, and warned him that the next time he might be alone, and there would be no waking up in the emergency room. The next day, he started attending AA, and has been sober since. Not one drop.

[KKr]

Respect !
keep it up, be stronger than others,
and every morning rejoice remembering something nice that happened yesterday evening, a cup of tea, a stupid TV show, whatever... it is there, 
and your life is worth living.

[KKr]

8 hours ago, stereolab said:

I recently passed 31 years without alcohol, all done by myself, never attended any meetings, never sought advice from the M.O.  

you are a strong and lucky man, respect !

[mrfill]

15 years ago I was on 10 pints of beer a day with gin and tonic top ups. I started to get night cramps and one night woke with cramp in both legs. Jumped out of bed and immediately fell on the floor. Saw the doctor next day to get some test results. He said all my ailments were alcohol related and if I didn't change my ways dramatically, I would be dead in 10 years. I actually took his advice and stopped drinking there and then. 3 weeks later, I felt much better and in 3 months felt better than I had for many years and also found I had a lot more spare money as I had been spending £150-200/week on booze. All I needed was the desire to live more than 10 years - no meetings, no talking to invisible beings, just old fashioned discipline. I've not had any drink since then and still feel great. I still go to pubs and the locals have got used to me ordering tea. Would I like a drink now? I've thought about that a lot and decided, on balance, that as alcohol tried to kill me once, I didn't think it a good idea to give it a second chance.

[Acharn]

17 hours ago, JensenZ said:

Just curious - when you say "20 years sober", does that mean 20 years no alcohol, or just not drinking enough to get drunk?

"20 years sober" is AA idiom meaning 20 years of not having to drink alcohol, so choosing not to drink alcohol. None. Like not drinking bleach or Lysol, and for the same reason.

[saakura]

2 hours ago, mrfill said:

15 years ago I was on 10 pints of beer a day with gin and tonic top ups. I started to get night cramps and one night woke with cramp in both legs. Jumped out of bed and immediately fell on the floor. Saw the doctor next day to get some test results. He said all my ailments were alcohol related and if I didn't change my ways dramatically, I would be dead in 10 years. I actually took his advice and stopped drinking there and then. 3 weeks later, I felt much better and in 3 months felt better than I had for many years and also found I had a lot more spare money as I had been spending £150-200/week on booze. All I needed was the desire to live more than 10 years - no meetings, no talking to invisible beings, just old fashioned discipline. I've not had any drink since then and still feel great. I still go to pubs and the locals have got used to me ordering tea. Would I like a drink now? I've thought about that a lot and decided, on balance, that as alcohol tried to kill me once, I didn't think it a good idea to give it a second chance.

I do not have a problem with alcohol but reading from the experience of other posters, i do understand that alcoholism is a disease and very difficult to control. You have done a very commendable job and been sober for 15 years due to your will power. Some other unfortunate souls may not be so strong as you, so they need some support. Why try to belittle them by adding that you did it with "no meetings, no talking to invisible beings.." ??? Live and let live, let each person choose what is best suited for him?

[alfalfa19]

since the virus,  i'm attending 1 or 2 NA meetings a day online, vs 1 or 2 a week in normal times.  i kind of like the online meetings better.  it's not that i'm antisocial, i like people very much.   i just don't like being around them.  In 9 days, I hope to have 29 years clean. 

[saakura]

11 minutes ago, alfalfa19 said:

since the virus,  i'm attending 1 or 2 NA meetings a day online, vs 1 or 2 a week in normal times.  i kind of like the online meetings better.  it's not that i'm antisocial, i like people very much.   i just don't like being around them.  In 9 days, I hope to have 29 years clean. 

Not sure what is a NA meeting, No Alcohol?? After 29 years without touching any alcohol, you now seem to be severely addicted to NA meetings!

[sanuk711]

59 minutes ago, saakura said:

i do understand that alcoholism is a disease

That's always been a debatable point, even amongst AA members saakura.

 

Is taking drugs-/or drinking a disease or a life style choice?  if Alcoholism is a disease why can you not catch it. Why do some countries have this disease to a greater extent than elsewhere? (Belarus--Lithuania --Russia )or is it just the lifestyle in those countries.

 

AA is a great organization, I went to many meeting in Oz -Kiwi-UK (my girlfriend of many years was an alcoholic) There were many uplifting stories told by people who had turned their life around with AAs help.

I just had feeling that they looked down on drug Addicts.....(who had separate timed meetings.)  & most of the different venues I went to when someone was addicted to both, (not unusual) they were discouraged speaking about their Drug experience..........No we are not drug addicts here, ours is caused by a disease.

 

[jonnit]

11 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

That's always been a debatable point, even amongst AA members saakura.

 

Is taking drugs-/or drinking a disease or a life style choice?  if Alcoholism is a disease why can you not catch it. Why do some countries have this disease to a greater extent than elsewhere? (Belarus--Lithuania --Russia )or is it just the lifestyle in those countries.

 

AA is a great organization, I went to many meeting in Oz -Kiwi-UK (my girlfriend of many years was an alcoholic) There were many uplifting stories told by people who had turned their life around with AAs help.

I just had feeling that they looked down on drug Addicts.....(who had separate timed meetings.)  & most of the different venues I went to when someone was addicted to both, (not unusual) they were discouraged speaking about their Drug experience..........No we are not drug addicts here, ours is caused by a disease.

 

I have always felt that addiction was more to do with genetics. I have been on heavy painkillers for months, and after surgery stopped immediately with no withdrawal problems. When in the military and overseas I would drink almost daily with the guys and usually get pretty much wasted. However, I was always able to quit immediately upon return to the family without any problems. I have also dealt with others (including in-laws) that if they started to drink could not stop.  Most of the men in my family tree are military veterans with most having served in combat. Another reason I think it may be genetics is that none of them have ever had an alcohol, or drug problem that I am aware of.

[stereolab]

1 hour ago, jonnit said:

I have always felt that addiction was more to do with genetics. I have been on heavy painkillers for months, and after surgery stopped immediately with no withdrawal problems. When in the military and overseas I would drink almost daily with the guys and usually get pretty much wasted. However, I was always able to quit immediately upon return to the family without any problems. I have also dealt with others (including in-laws) that if they started to drink could not stop.  Most of the men in my family tree are military veterans with most having served in combat. Another reason I think it may be genetics is that none of them have ever had an alcohol, or drug problem that I am aware of.

Drinking in the Military when I was drinking, was a must do activity. Anyone who refrained was basically a marked man. Interestingly, I was never promoted after I gave up alcohol. In BAOR we had a hospital which had a permanent ward open for alcoholics.

[impulse]

2 hours ago, saakura said:

Not sure what is a NA meeting, No Alcohol?? After 29 years without touching any alcohol, you now seem to be severely addicted to NA meetings!

 

Narcotics Anonymous.  Same program, same traditions and same 12 steps as AA, but geared toward people addicted to other substances.  The flavor and ambiance of the meeting is usually a little different, but the concepts are the same.

 

As for addiction to meetings, I've never come to laying in a pile of fire ants after going to too many meetings.  Besides, it helped to have something safe to do and great people to hang out with when the entire life I built around getting high or drunk no longer served me.  I don't go to meetings because I have to.  I go because I love them.  And the meeting before the meeting and the one after, where we hang out instead of going to bars.  That's with 31+ years.

 

[alfalfa19]

2 hours ago, saakura said:

Not sure what is a NA meeting, No Alcohol?? After 29 years without touching any alcohol, you now seem to be severely addicted to NA meetings!

Narcotics Anonymous.    Addiction is a lifelong disease.  It needs to be treated for the duration, much like diabetes.  And no, I'm not "addicted to meetings" .  As another poster said, I attend because i like them.  i see my friends there,  go out to dinner after, etc, etc.  and i attend many more now online  because many of us are basically supposed to stay home. 

[alfalfa19]

20 minutes ago, impulse said:

 

Narcotics Anonymous.  Same program, same traditions and same 12 steps as AA, but geared toward people addicted to other substances.  The flavor and ambiance of the meeting is usually a little different, but the concepts are the same.

 

As for addiction to meetings, I've never come to laying in a pile of fire ants after going to too many meetings.  Besides, it helped to have something safe to do and great people to hang out with when the entire life I built around getting high or drunk no longer served me.  I don't go to meetings because I have to.  I go because I love them.  And the meeting before the meeting and the one after, where we hang out instead of going to bars.  That's with 31+ years.

 

well said

[swissman53]

It's a bit just as an "open" AA meeting here. Nice to see a some people getting sober without a meeting. Hope it works for you many years.

My last drink was on Easter 1981. After many "try's" to do it alone and as a result of 3 delirium i finally found AA. Sins that time i have every week an AA meeting. We have now more than 10 online meetings in Thailand as you can find on the AA homepage.

As a big benefit did I found some very good and real friends what would be not so easy if I had to search them without the group.

Nobody has to go to AA if they don't want. But if you want to try, our hands are open for help....

 

Ps. Sorry for my hopeless English writing...

[ding]

On 5/3/2020 at 9:28 AM, chickenslegs said:

Sober since 1985.

 

You have my admiration, Ding. - your wife too.

My wife should be on the next issued Holy Card 

[ding]

5 hours ago, swissman53 said:

We have now more than 10 online meetings in Thailand as you can find on the AA homepage.

 

1981? I don't even remember 1981! Life is good.

I'm a bit nervous about logging on to an online meeting. Your welcome helped, thanks.

 

A friend from AA walked by 2 days ago and warned about ZOOM-bombing and FBI. She said they don't post ZOOM on the Intergroup website anymore.