Time to get real about work/life balance

[snoop1130]

Time to get real about work/life balance

by Isabel Valle

 

 

Are we getting it all wrong?

 

I believe that for far too long we’ve been stuck as a society into a particular set of thinking about how we work and live. It is time to get real, to break from those so called “work/life” issues, and start creating a different type of integration to live our best lives.

 

There is no doubt that most of us are time starved and overstretched, and are feeling the pressure of unrealistic expectations as we go about our days by the conflicting demands of our work and life, making us feel overwhelmed, stressed out and stuck. We live under the illusion that committing to insane demands and long working hours will one day save our day, however this strategy to get us to perform and stay on top of it all couldn’t be more wrong.

 

Studies have shown that productivity drops steeply after a 50 hour work week, and drops off a cliff after 55 hours – a far cry from the 70-80 hours week I used to do working in hotels. Exhausted employees are not only unproductive, but also more prone to costly errors, accidents and sickness. It is paramount to bring more awareness to employers to highlight the fact that hours can be reduced without loss of input. We need to realise the fact that longer working hours does not improve productivity – healthy, well restored employees do.

 

The culture of overwork has well known personal consequences. Working more than 55 hours a week raises the risk of heart attack and stroke. People who work longer hours tend to be more anxious and depressed, and their sleep suffers. According to Schulte at Harvard Business Review, people’s IQ actually drops 13 points when in a state of tunnel vision busyness.

 

However, if your work culture is organised around effective work, and values employees who have full lives outside of work, you will stand a far better change of attracting and retaining employees who are highly engaged, motivated and willing to give their best at work, which will undoubtedly translate into a healthier, more successful business, and a healthier bottom line. Promoting a healthy work/life balance in your business will also lead to increased productivity, a happier workforce, staff feeling valued and less likely to leave, reducing staff turnover and minimising recruitment costs.

 

Let’s get real: Work/life balance is an unhealthy myth. We all have limited energy, and following Elon Musk’s working week of 120 hours in simply unrealistic. Instead, we must allocate time wisely, depending on priorities and circumstances. Inevitably, some things will be neglected when important matters demand our attention, and we need to account for those times and be ok with it.

 

One of the first points that I’d like to suggest in how to create a shift in the way we think about work/life balance, is to actually change the language itself. The word balance implies “equal”, and balancing work and life matters equally is simply idealistic. Work is in fact a part of life, not something separate, and as such it fits in under the greater umbrella. We must therefore start by using a different type of language to depict this balancing act.

 

I love how Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon, uses the phrase “work/life harmony” instead. Bezos believes happiness at work makes him happy at home, and vice versa. Words such as harmony, blend or integration imply that work and life are intertwined. Therefore, we must accept reality and come up with some strategies to prioritise within our blended lifestyle, as well as eliminating the work/life combination from our vocabularies altogether and to recognise that life is what’s happening and work is one of the things you do in life.

 

Everything we do has a cost and consequences. The sooner we make peace with it, the quicker we’ll be able to create a work/life integration plan that work for us. Having it all – at once – may push us down a road of unrealistic expectations where we feel like failures for not being able to attain the impossible. Some of the most successful people that I’ve interviewed in the topic have all told me they will only focus on the top 2 or 3 domains of their life at most at any given time.

 

Time does not discriminate. We all have the same hours in a day, and with some intentional planning you can fit a lot in it. But the truth is that finding the right harmony between work and life is not easy, and it will require commitment and doing the thing that you set out to do. At times, you may not have enough time to hang out or relax, or even have a decent sleep, and that doesn’t mean the goal isn’t worth it. If you apply a year long calendar view, make sure at times you can afford to, you book time with friends and family gatherings. Life is going to change constantly, and at times giving to work a little more than life is not necessarily unhealthy if it does allow you to work towards your dreams.

 

In fact, at different ages and stages of our lives, we need different things and have various demands on our time. Sometimes there isn’t enough work, while at other points there’s too much. In the grand scheme, there is something resembling a balance. But in the short term, less so.

 

Another aspect in this topic that I’d like to highlight is about how everyone should be wary when considering their busyness. I hear it all the time: “I’m so busy”. Just how busy are we really? Although we love saying we’re busy, many of us are just distracted. It could be that much of the busyness we flaunt like a status symbol is just a result of wasting time procrastinating and pretending – checking social media and email. I could argue that the more complex your tasks, the more you focus, the more is done in a condensed period. I firmly believe that with the right focus, we can get to work smarter, not harder, and generate better results this way for a richer, more fulfilling life.

 

When it comes to work/life balance – or however you want to call it, you must define it yourself. What balance looks like differs for everyone. A CEO with twin toddlers might want a different schedule than one with teens. So don’t assume that what works for someone else should be your aim. It’s not a one-size-fits-all. Think through your own priorities and how time outside work can be attained. Everybody does it differently, so know what would work for you and make it happen. Who says you can’t do something that most people don’t? I’ve had clients come to a coaching session whilst breastfeeding their babies, I had a port-a-cot for my baby in my office, I know of some leaders that will bring their families travelling with them if going longer than a week, etc. Opportunities are endless! Balance doesn’t mean “equal.” Sometimes, either work or your personal life takes more weight, depending on what’s going on at the moment — and that’s ok.

 

Work/life integration is a very personal journey. You teach people how to treat you. If you are responding to email 24 hours a day, then that’s going to be the expectation. So take responsibility for creating a work life that works for you.

 

Full Story: https://expatlifeinthailand.com/lifestyle/time-to-get-real-about-work-life-balance-2/

 

-- © Copyright Expat Life in Thailand 2020-12-15

 

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[BritManToo]

Nobody I know in Thailand works for more than a couple of hours a day.

The rest of the time is lunch/coffee/chatting/playing on their phone.

I've not worked for over 12 years, since the day I arrived in Thailand.

 

 

[Katipo]

The nature of my job means that I may need to be available for calls outside of regular office hours. In exchange for this, I am afforded a degree of flexibility with regards to my working day. Working for a company that recognises those who are flexible or put in a little bit extra is a win-win for both employee and employer. If you are not afforded this kind of respect, then you should look at what needs to be changed to get it.

[Pravda]

How is this Thailand related? 

 

Mods should close this thread as they do with every non Thailand related thread. 

[murraynz]

1 hour ago, Pravda said:

How is this Thailand related? 

 

Mods should close this thread as they do with every non Thailand related thread. 

It may not be specificaly thailand related,and its a very long story....

But im sure that it applies to most of us expats...

I worked 55 hrs ++ per week for most of my 45 yrs,being self employed..

In the western world the wants and expectations of people,plus expensive living costs,puts huge pressure on people..

Thats a huge part of the attraction of thailand..relaxed have lifestyle,no pressures..cheap cost of living..

[Surelynot]

Chinese families don't get rich by allowing Thai's to have a work/life balance.

[xylophone]

7 minutes ago, murraynz said:

It may not be specificaly thailand related,and its a very long story....

But im sure that it applies to most of us expats...

I worked 55 hrs ++ per week for most of my 45 yrs,being self employed..

In the western world the wants and expectations of people,plus expensive living costs,puts huge pressure on people..

Thats a huge part of the attraction of thailand..relaxed have lifestyle,no pressures..cheap cost of living..

Yes, for the first time in my life I'm learning to relax here in Thailand and although I felt guilty about "doing nothing" for a while, now I've gotten used to it!

 

My working life was always a full one, even from the days as an apprentice where I would set off from home at 7 AM in the morning and get back at 6 PM at night, although some of that was travelling.

 

Skip through to the last phase of my working life and my hours were a minimum of 60 a week and probably many more, this as I was setting up an investment division for a bank, and because I wanted to do it well, and employ and train others in order to reach targets.

 

And that's the thing with large corporations, in that they want huge targets to be met and have no problem with increasing those targets on an annual basis, many times without thinking about the personal consequences to the leader of the division (i.e. me).

 

That I managed to build an investment division from a seed of NZ$100,000, to just under NZ$2 billion in seven years, was indeed a first. However it took its toll on my health and at the end of my tenure in this position I was diagnosed with severe gastric reflux and Barrett's oesophagus, not to mention extremely poor sleeping patterns.

 

The last event was a "burnout" where I became a bit like a zombie and could not function, and if it wasn't for my fantastic doctor, I probably wouldn't be here today.

 

However the advice he gave me really shook me.......his words were along the lines of, "you've got two choices, keep working like you are and be dead by the end of the year, or give up your work completely and find something less stressful to do".

 

Believe it or not I had to think about that because I was so driven, and that was the problem, striving to be a success when everything I did or achieved in my childhood was ignored and cast aside by uncaring parents. And this did not become evident until my great doctor put me on to a practitioner of "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy" and my life changed in just 10 visits.

 

When I realised that my whole being was dictated by a need to be "accepted" and "be worthy" and how to control that, then things became so clear that I was able to step out of the corporate treadmill and in a short while, end up here in Thailand.

 

Yes, it is time to get real about worklife balance, because if the individual doesn't, certainly the corporation/company (in many cases) will want you to work as many hours as possible because in the end it means profit for them; at least it was like this during my working career.
 

[allanos]

I can't agree with the underlying argument of this thesis. The author states that "balance" implies "equal", in other words the same amount of commitment to work as to lifestyle.  He forgets that for swathes of people, work is not a means to an end, but an end in itself.  Take away work from such people, and you are removing the breath of life. They have an innate sense of self-worth, the contribution they are making to society at large and reap their reward accordingly.  It's not all about money.

 

Mention is made of Elon Musk working 120 hours a week.  He is not alone.  British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher got by on 4 hours sleep per night. Clearly, people like this get "high" on driving themselves forward. They are born achievers. Surely then, this is a form of "balance" in itself, off-setting work load against the mental and psychological "feel good factor" they derive from it.

 

The OP suggest one size fits all. However, we are individuals, trying to get out of life what we put into it, in our own unique ways.

 

 

[wwest5829]

3 hours ago, Katipo said:

The nature of my job means that I may need to be available for calls outside of regular office hours. In exchange for this, I am afforded a degree of flexibility with regards to my working day. Working for a company that recognises those who are flexible or put in a little bit extra is a win-win for both employee and employer. If you are not afforded this kind of respect, then you should look at what needs to be changed to get it.

Once had a college President who stated we needed to be available 24/7/365. He was later fired but ... after 9 1/2 years retired, I figure I am still in the catching up to the balance mode ... and loving it in Thailand!