Mental Diarrhea: Bangkok Insomnia Thoughts, Part 7

[kimcancer]

7.

 

A mosquito the size of a grizzly bear could be in my room, and if it were quietly buzzing, the a/c might obscure it. So I cracked my eyes open a tad and saw nothing but the darkness. Though I wasn’t convinced there weren’t any prehistoric creatures living in the bowels of Bangkok’s sewer system.

 

I flipped over, onto my stomach, and stretched into an X shape. My mind moved, and I wondered if maybe karma came back to bite Suge Knight in the ass. Or shoot him in the ass. I remembered that I was in Miami Beach, right down the street from the party where Suge Knight got shot in the buttocks. Yes, oh yes, I heard the police sirens, ambulances, and commotion.

 

The news reports said Suge had been shot in the leg, but I knew a guy who worked at the Shore Club, and he heard the pop, from the gun, and said he saw the assailant, a dude in a pink shirt, opening fire at Suge’s table, and when Suge ducked down, Suge covered his head like it was a Cold War schoolkid drill. And that’s when Suge took a bullet in the butt. 

 

I’m not sure if the person who shot Suge in the ass was ever apprehended. I’d like to think it was Eazy-E’s ghost. A poltergeist, hellbent on vengeance, hellbent on shooting Suge in his big fat ass. I wondered if the bullet was intended for Suge’s back but trailed lower, due to bad aim. Just like a penis, whether in the bathroom, or during drunk sex, guns can be difficult to aim.

 

In movies, people fire guns like clicking off and on a light switch. Remember that scene from Goodfellas where Joe Pesci is shooting at Spider’s feet? Funny as it was, in reality, everyone’s ears would have been bleeding. In reality, guns are loud and heavy. Was it an amateur, shooting Suge, or a rushed shot? Not everyone shoots like Chris Kyle.

 

Who shot Suge Knight in the ass? The mystery was consuming me.

 

It coulda been Vanilla Ice. I saw in the doc that due to a financial dispute between the two, Suge Knight strangled Vanilla Ice, then dangled Vanilla Ice, upside down, by his legs, from a high-rise hotel balcony. Suge Knight then strong-armed Vanilla Ice’s publishing money, took Vanilla Ice for five million dollars! FIVE million <deleted> dollars! That was how Suge got the seed capital for Death Row.

 

Maybe Vanilla Ice blasted Suge Knight in the buttocks. Vanilla Ice, in a pink shirt. I could see it. I could understand it.

 

I once saw Vanilla Ice driving in Miami Beach. He was behind the wheel of a white Suzuki SUV. It was definitely him. Did he drive that same SUV to shoot Suge in the ass? It’s not impossible. Anything’s possible. 

 

Who shot Suge Knight in the ass? It remains a mystery, at least to me. I could google it, but I won’t. I prefer the incident’s shadowy, unimportant ambiguity.   

 

It could have been Biggie’s ghost. It should have been Biggie’s ghost. I remembered a documentary I saw, about Biggie. In it, he sang a few bars of a song, and I was floored by his singing voice. Biggie should have been the next Barry White…

 

A pink shirt, in Miami, that doesn’t narrow it down. I wore pink shirts in Miami. Many people wear pink shirts there. A pink shirt is just a pink shirt. It doesn’t mean the person shot Suge Knight.

 

I knew a Colombian guy who got his arm bitten off by a shark, while surfing in Miami Beach. He wore a lot of pink shirts. But he probably wasn’t the assailant who shot Suge Knight, because if it was a dude with only one arm, that’d be a far easier suspect to apprehend. Probably not a lot of one-armed, pink-shirt-wearing Colombians running around Miami Beach, shooting people. There might be a couple others, but there’s not, like, thousands of them.

 

[OneMoreFarang]

"Mental Diarrhea" seems to be a good summary.

[Rimmer]

Troll Topic not related to Thailand

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