The wife and I sleep in separate rooms. Anyone else in this situation?

[Dmaxdan]

47 minutes ago, lanng khao said:

No even if your partaking in a touch of the horizontal hokey cokey and he's got his phone out to show his mates in school..

He doesn't go to school.

I'm not sure if you're noticed but there is a little pandemic thingy going around at the moment and his school is closed, possibly for ever the way things are going....

 

[Rampant Rabbit]

Incest must  be  ripe in Thailand   for kids to get molested , Wife  said someone tried it  on with her when she was  young  once.

[greenmonkey]

haha yes this is completely normal for Thai culture! I have known of kids/teens sleeping in parents rooms until the age of 18!!!! I remember the look of horror on the Thai parent's faces in our village when I explained to them that our 2 year old son would sleep soundly in his own bedroom... they weren't impressed at all... in fact the total opposite. I remember one mum saying to me "...but how will your son know you love him". Completely different way of doing things here... they have no concept of teaching a kid to stand on their own two feet and of instilling discipline (and by that I do not mean hitting).

When my son was born I drew up a list of things that Thai's do and I would not do. My wife was in full agreement... my mother-in-law was not! I remember one evening almost grappling with the mother-in-law outside the bedroom door because my son was crying and wouldn't sleep. She wouldn't respect our wishes to try and let our son fall asleep by himself.

 

Totally different mindset and culture to raising a kid here. Mealtimes are hilarious... watching Thai parents/nannies chasing kids around with a bowl trying to spoon feed them whilst they play. They used to look at my soon sitting happily in a chair feeding himself in utter amazement!!!

 

[Artisi]

20 minutes ago, Rampant Rabbit said:

My Wife works  till 12  midnight  most  nights, she gets  up about 9am, I work 6 am  to 4 pm I go to sleep  around 8-30pm............. If she  sleeps  with me she'll  wake  me  up and vice versa, I  built  her a separate  HOUSE so at 7pm I kick her  oput of  mine.

If I dotn have to work Ill stay with her sometimes  but  mostly not. No problem for either of  us................good  of her Brother to stay with her most nights  though so she's not  lonely????

Her brother, sure he is, might be time to live up to your handle, cause you can bet the "brother" is ????

[Artisi]

2 minutes ago, greenmonkey said:

haha yes this is completely normal for Thai culture! I have known of kids/teens sleeping in parents rooms until the age of 18!!!! I remember the look of horror on the Thai parent's faces in our village when I explained to them that our 2 year old son would sleep soundly in his own bedroom... they weren't impressed at all... in fact the total opposite. I remember one mum saying to me "...but how will your son know you love him". Completely different way of doing things here... they have no concept of teaching a kid to stand on their own two feet and of instilling discipline (and by that I do not mean hitting).

When my son was born I drew up a list of things that Thai's do and I would not do. My wife was in full agreement... my mother-in-law was not! I remember one evening almost grappling with the mother-in-law outside the bedroom door because my son was crying and wouldn't sleep. She wouldn't respect our wishes to try and let our son fall asleep by himself.

 

Totally different mindset and culture to raising a kid here. Mealtimes are hilarious... watching Thai parents/nannies chasing kids around with a bowl trying to spoon feed them whilst they play. They used to look at my soon sitting happily in a chair feeding himself in utter amazement!!!

 

Pleased I'm not the only tough, unthoughtfull, non caring, crazy farang ????

[richard_smith237]

It’s not uncommon in Thailand for Children to share the bedroom with the parents thought their junior years. 

 

Friends of my Wife’s are still in the same room as the children and the kids are 10 - they have a massive quad-mattress (i.e. as wide as 4 single mattresses) in their main bedroom.

 

My Wife and I intended to move our Son into his own room at 6 months old, we tried, we were getting to too many times in the night !!... We moved Condo when my Son was two years old and we put him in his own room then. It was funny, straight away he knew to get up to us and walk to us in the middle of the night ! - quite cute. Our son is now 7 years old - quite happy in his own room, his little kingdom. 

 

Friends have been successful in moving their children in to their own room at 6 months old.

 

Another friends 9 year old still sleeps in the same room as Grandma who lives with them - I would not allow this to happen. 

 

 

Each to their own.... but I would certainly argue that its better for a child to have their own room and space which allows them to develop some independence and not be too clingy. 

[Rampant Rabbit]

5 minutes ago, Artisi said:

Her brother, sure he is, might be time to live up to your handle, cause you can bet the "brother" is ????

youre a  bit  slow  arent you????

[VocalNeal]

The Queen and Prince Phillip (RIP)

[Seeall]

25 minutes ago, jvs said:

My wife has an 18 year old daughter,i would ask her but it might get me in trouble!

why not... do it....

[Seeall]

Just now, Seeall said:

why not... do it....

old argument... beter a more age appropiate pimply faced drugged up loser <deleted> her?

 

[thaibeachlovers]

41 minutes ago, charliechoc said:

Once again I will say 'thankgod Im not american'

Does any country other than America have that quaint custom of alimony where the man has to keep paying the ex wife? It's bad enough in other western countries, but normally once the divorce is final the sucker ex husband doesn't have to keep paying.

[thaibeachlovers]

17 minutes ago, richard_smith237 said:

Each to their own.... but I would certainly argue that its better for a child to have their own room and space which allows them to develop some independence and not be too clingy. 

LOL. From age 11 to 18 I went to boarding school and slept in a dormitory with at least 10 or more others. Some started at age 5.

Good practice for when I joined the military and slept in barracks. I was 28 before I had a room to myself.

[chickenslegs]

At the end of each day I am very happy to retire to my own room where I can set the aircon to my ideal temperature, have just one lightweight sheet on my king size bed, keep a reading light on for as long as I wish or watch TV without disturbing anyone, and have the whole bed to myself.

 

When my wife shares my bed it is not for sleeping, and usually a morning or afternoon treat. Unfortunately, those opportunities are scarce just now as there is no school, so we are rarely alone.

[2 is 1]

1 hour ago, Dmaxdan said:

Our 6 year old grandson lives permanently with us and sleeps in our bedroom.

It's my understanding that this pretty normal here and to be fair it doesn't really bother me.

 

You know they sell viagra in medicine store!

[nikmar]

1 hour ago, bkk6060 said:

Welcome to the depressing and senseless purgatory of a thing called marriage.

Im going to steal this as a "favourite quote" if you dont mind.

[worgeordie]

So the OP is just a lodger.....

regards Worgeordie

[Chris.B]

It is natural for Thai families to sleep together. Nothing wrong with a 6 year old sleeping with his mother.

[mfd101]

So people live in a bubble, ignorant of other people's customs and of the history of their own people ...

 

Only 120 years ago most people in The West lived in one- or two-room 'houses' with only 1 bed in one room. Whole family piled in together, all ages. 

 

Earlier still the maid and the labourer would have been part of the deal also. Whence all the folktales about 'bedtricks' ie husband goes out in middle of night for a leak and gets back into the 'wrong' bed etc etc.

[WhiteBuffaloATM]

our 7 year old loved moving to his new bedroom 3 years ago and has never once returned to sleep with his educated thai mum. if the man & woman have different schedules, and you have the extra bedroom, makes perfect sense to sleep separately, physical interaction unaffected really. 

 often staying up late & getting up late whereas my lady / son the reverse. would not allow my kid to sleep with his mum after 3-4 years old. his mum agreed & designed in fact the expansion of our downstairs apartment for larger lounge/ larger master bedroom / 2nd bedroom added. our house above was typically on daily let to intl tourists pre- covid. so now typically I will sleep / relax there.

[lanng khao]

It never stopped a mate of mine having sex while his son was in the same bed,one time he found his son on top of the auld grandma when she came to stay, omg what the <deleted> are you doing, the kid said, oh different when it's your mother isn't it..

[RichardColeman]

If you have another spare room, it might be worth doing it up and having friends of the kid stay over now and then but in the 'kids' room. Might encourage the kid to stay in their own room over time once they get used to it

[NanLaew]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

That's why bolsters were invented IMO.

I've always wondered how more children were conceived if the previous ones were sleeping in the same bed though. They must do it very quietly.

Yes, yes we do.

[Gottfrid]

2 hours ago, charliechoc said:

I think in a western country it would deemed to be rather odd for a 6 yr old to be still sleeping in mummies bed. But maybe in Thailand its normal.

Just as information. Here the family sleep together until the children leave home many times. It has to do with what step on the society ladder they belong to. The poorer and less educated they are, they tend to sleep together longer.

 

However, your situation is horrible. If it was me, I would just set her straight. I assume she do not have an income and get a fairly good life out of your money. There you have all the reason and explanation you need.

[BobinBKK]

Sounds like they are trying to force you out. There have been many horror stories about once they trap a foreigner into buying a house, car, and having a kid that they force you out. It's my personal choice never to put myself into this kind of position.

[ChipButty]

2 hours ago, Rampant Rabbit said:

Incest must  be  ripe in Thailand   for kids to get molested , Wife  said someone tried it  on with her when she was  young  once.

I was told that years ago

[nikmar]

Mother in law - much as I love her - sleeps in our room when she s here, as does our niece. It seems they are both scared of ghosts!! a few mattresses on the floor and we can all keep our respective distance. The only thing that bothers me is her constant wittering about that nights lakorn.

 

Our boy moved into his own room when he discovered the joys of internet porn.

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, nikmar said:

Mother in law - much as I love her - sleeps in our room when she s here, as does our niece. It seems they are both scared of ghosts!! a few mattresses on the floor and we can all keep our respective distance. The only thing that bothers me is her constant wittering about that nights lakorn.

 

Our boy moved into his own room when he discovered the joys of internet porn.

My MiL is the same age as me ........ I look at her and think if I were in the UK I'd be sleeping with her.

Sleeping in the same bedroom, no way, it took me 3 years to teach her not to walk around the house topless all day. Not a knuckle dragger, but something along similar lines!

[EvetsKram]

3 hours ago, worgeordie said:

The family next door had their son sleeping in the same bed

as them till he was 16 Years old  !

regards Worgeordie

I've got a gorgeous sister in law who sleeps with her 14 year old son each night.  Lucky buggar! 

[rumak]

2 hours ago, chalawaan said:

Not a US citizen, and believe me, I am on a very long leash, my transgressions are not minor when this occurs!

We both get more good from each other remaining together than apart. Also, even in trigger-happy America, I'm willing to bet far less American men end up murdered or mutilated for their "Badness" than here. But then again, there are the US family courts, so maybe being dead is better in some cases...

well,  i was right about one thing:  given what you say about your "transgressions"  you must be a bad man.     "bad boys, bad boys,  whatcha gonna do when she comes for you"     LOL

 

and yes, maybe those 'mericanos"  still have their thing attached..... but boy you would hardly know

it from seeing the way most of them act.      first the machismo goes,  then the estate

 

sorry if i got your nationality wrong ( though i did not actually SAY you were american,  )...

but i did refer to what i see on american telivision and movies.    seems political correctness is applauding every group except  white american men .   Watch every crime show and see who the bad guy is.   And every comedy who the "buffoon"  is .    

 

do tell us about your transgressions.  TV really could use some spicing up !!  

[rumak]

3 hours ago, worgeordie said:

The family next door had their son sleeping in the same bed

as them till he was 16 Years old  !

regards Worgeordie

gives the saying "come to Mama "  a whole new interpretation