No Offence Intended - But!

Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own dog?

A: Because they can't hold on to a lead.

Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag?

A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer.

Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2004 Commemorative cube painted red,

white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock

and crumbled in the box.

Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans?

A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 Minutes

and still come second! (This is my favourite!!!!!)

Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England football team?

A: They are both useless in Europe!

Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England?A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence

Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and Jimmy Hill. You

have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?

A. Shoot Jimmy Hill - twice.

Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their

necks in sand?

A. Not enough sand

Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman in

a Spanish nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted by the

English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I find it

totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make a

successful pass to or at anyone."

Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English

football jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in

order to save his family from the embarrassment. (David Mellor - This could have been YOU!)

I love the political offering And the Aussie's rolled the Soapdodger's in Brisbane last night. No cliffhanger there.