A comment v being angry

[poppysdad]

My Thai lady and I frequently have a discussion (usually friendly) on various things that I say. If for instance I look skywards and say it looks like rain she fully accepts this as a comment. But, if I simply mutter that I’ve just saved yet another kamikaze motorcyclist from death she immediately tells me to not be so angry to which I reply it’s simply a comment and I’m not in the slightest bit angry. There are many other instances where we get the same problem so is this common among Thais not being able to distinguish between a comment and anger. 

[CharlieH]

Absolutely relate to this! You cannot make a negative remark against or in the dire tion of another Thai, it will be taken badly in most situations in my experience.I do it especially regarding Thai drivers motorcycles etc and she will usually try to defend them in some way. ????

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, poppysdad said:

There are many other instances where we get the same problem so is this common among Thais not being able to distinguish between a comment and anger. 

I don't really chat to mine, so there's nothing she can get angry at.

I save my random comments for this forum.

[richard_smith237]

Can you distinguish yourself...

 

In terms of approach, tone, intention.... "It looks like rain today” is the same as “That’s a motorbike”....  there is no element of criticism borne of frustration of the behaviour of others. 

 

While.... “I just saved that motorcyclists life” [by emergency braking etc]... more commonly expressed as “flippin’ £$%£, if I hadn’t hit the brakes I’d have hit him”....    is more commonly associated with an element of annoyance, no matter how its presented. 

 

You may not feel anger, you may not even feel frustration - but you have expressed a point that someone else is at fault... there is a difference. 

 

 

That said: its not a big deal is it ?...   funnest comment I’ve ever read on this forum is when someone was driving with their significant other... she opened the window.... “What are you doing?”.....  “Letting all the £u<ks out” was the response !!!!

 

 

 

[sungod]

The local driving bad habits are not even up for debate in my house, the line is clearly drawn in the sand. After being in the UK a few times she has come round to my way of thinking.......

 

 

[ChaiyaTH]

Two solutions: stop talking to her or leave her.

[CharlieH]

I think the other point in this is that English is the issue and many (most?) will have no idea as to a "rhetorical question" and therefore try to answer when it isnt actually required at all.

 

[blackprince]

1 hour ago, poppysdad said:

so is this common among Thais not being able to distinguish between a comment and anger. 

Ouch. I think it's much more common among farangs not to be able to understand Thai well enough to understand what's being said around them in Thailand.

 

If you really want to shock your wife, try making your comments in Thai ????

 

Just a guess, but I would imagine a lot of it is probably in your tone of voice and/or facial expression rather than your words ????

 

 

 

[bbko]

If/when my wife and I have a misunderstanding about what she or I said and it gets to the heated discussion level, she'll often ask "Why you going learn Thai language??", shuts me up every time...555.

 

My Thai is fair but I'm far from being fluent,  99% of the time her & I converse in English.