Prompted by a comment in another thread, I was curious as to how many men here have been "betrayed" by their partner in previous relationships ?

 

I mean serious relationships, not short or  brief encounters etc, but long term or marriages .

 

Personally, had 3 and 2 of those ended because of betrayal.

 

How about you ?

None, usually me who fires them

Betrayed 4 

Surprised by 1 ... 1st wife

 

I'm a quick learner ????

Does jumping into the sack with the builder who constructed our extension and paying him "in kind" after I had already paid him in cash count??

 

She went on to marry him whereupon he promptly dropped conveniently dead.

 

Maybe I got lucky  

Also 2 out of 3

 

and married to nr 3 for well over 10 years, and still no complaints (maybe only after she wins x00 THB in the lottery she spends the double amount on phone calls to her friends to tell them about it )

None

Oh dear! Men talking about being betrayed, when it´s mostly men that goes with other young girls and betrays their wife in Thailand. But, hey! Most of them have a perfectly good excuse, or just believe it´s a mans right to do that.

Three relationships, the first two were betrayals.

Zero

One reason might be that I never had lots of money.

 

For one girl I spent more money then I should have. But I can't really blame her. I though somehow I could influence her with some presents. It didn't work.

But also in that case the amount of money was not more than I could afford to lose. In a way it was just not a good investment. And I learned from that.

 

When I met my long time gf she was young and innocent. Now she is still relative innocent but not so young anymore. I make sure there is enough money to have a nice (enough) life. She doesn't need more and she doesn't ask for more.

If we ever separate I know what I will be looking for again: An innocent girl (and in this forum I have to mention it, with legal age).

Seriously none. Thai women have been really good to me. Western women have been a bit of feminists and over the top, but none betrayed me. As a Serb, however, I can honestly say that Serbian women are just plain horrible. My guess is it's the same with Russian/Ukrainian women or pretty much any Slavic women. True gold-diggers.

4 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

Oh dear! Men talking about being betrayed, when it´s mostly men that goes with other young girls and betrays their wife in Thailand. But, hey! Most of them have a perfectly good excuse, or just believe it´s a mans right to do that.

Deadbeat dads! Useless farang men...

1/2

 

First Thai wife let me down big time. Got her to the uk , within 1 year she said would i sign paperwork for her stay in uk and agree divorce, then later said  she was joking. She went on to destroy our catering business - I had taken out loans for - by borrowing money from banks and on bank cards for the business to send to her family as well as sending all the income from the business there too. I divorced her, The funny thing about it was she fought the divorce !

 

My current wife is total opposite, 7 years and going strong even through covid separation  - swings and roundabouts i guess.

 

 

When is a betrayal a betrayal?

Is it necessary that she actively lied?

Or is it enough that the guy's imagination was betrayed? 

Too many guys somehow think that if they do x and y that the outcome must be z.

And if they ask their darling and darling replies: "Sure darling, up to you, I love you too much." then somehow they think nothing can go wrong anymore...

Is that betrayal? 

3 minutes ago, RichardColeman said:

1/2

 

First Thai wife let me down big time. Got her to the uk , within 1 year she said would i sign paperwork for her stay in uk and agree divorce, then later said  she was joking. She went on to destroy our catering business - I had taken out loans for - by borrowing money from banks and on bank cards for the business to send to her family as well as sending all the income from the business there too. I divorced her, The funny thing about it was she fought the divorce !

Sorry to hear that.

But did she betray you? Or did you make bad decisions like spending too much money for things for which you shouldn't have spent so much?

Yeah - a Filipina I invested about 6-7 years with.... We lived together & talked about marriage, but never became fully engaged ...

 

Trouble is it turned out ----> she already was married.....

Happened to me once . 

Had a girlfreind for a few months and one night took her out to a bar to watch a game of football . 

  Had a few beers each , the bar was quite full . 

Liverpool scored and she cheered .

I went home that night single . 

BETRAYED .

14 minutes ago, Pravda said:

 As a Serb

Always wondered where the 'Truth' came from

16 minutes ago, pgrahmm said:

Yeah - a Filipina I invested about 6-7 years with.... We lived together & talked about marriage, but never became fully engaged ...

 

Trouble is it turned out ----> she already was married.....

That was my Nr 1 (Nr 2 was even worse )

Got divorced once. Betrayal - hardly.

Came back home to the house stripped bare. Shop was OK.

Got a registered letter from her lawyer, wanted everything - I was to take my clothes and go walk - literally - away.

Problem was - none was in my name. Beat her to the punch.

Paid for what our son needed - after she presented receipts - paid her $200 a month.

She screamed - I said see you in court.

Never happened. Blood out of a stone and all that.

Fidiot

Follow Up - she sent me divorce papers. I said the $200 stops when I sign them.

She screamed again !!! 555

Afaik never. It was me who was the bad one ????

56 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Personally, had 3 and 2 of those ended because of betrayal.

Same for me, four relationships, betrayed by three (that I know of).

Number one, I was married in the UK for 30 years, she was not only unfaithful, but wanted me dead or in prison (I was 100% faithful for 30 years).

Number two, I came to Thailand to be with, she had forgotten to mention her American husband. (did she betray him or me? I was 100% faithful)

Number three, went to look after her sick parents for a week, took her naughty nurse outfit with her, so they must have been really ill (by now I've learned faithful is a mugs game).

 

After Number one, who took me for a lot, I learned not to risk my assets, two and three cost me nothing except the running expenses while I was with them.

 

Betrayed, i got cheated on by my first Thai wife she cost me some money. After that never again. Sure i was angry then but now i could not care less. 

 

If someone cheats on me not sure if i would feel betrayed. I mean it happens you then can either walk away or not. Its different if its a one time thing or a real relationship.

 

But if i read the stories here i think more farangs cheat on their gf's and wives then the other way around. With bar girls and so on. 

 

But if it happens will just see, its not as if im going to build a house for a girl or share my saving with someone. I mean at most i get hurt emotionally. Plenty of fish in the sea. 

 

So many relations end so does it matter if she bangs someone while she is with you or says i want a divorce or stop the relation. 

Result is the same.

The last one.  And seriously betrayed.  I completely supported her from the day we married.  I funded and supported her business adventures.  Then when she decided to go back to uni I gave her a full "free-ride" scholarship.  Because the program she was taking wasn't offered where we live, I moved her to a different city to complete the last two years of her degree. 
She graduated at a time when my own company was downsizing starting with senior staff (as they hired college grads to take our place - poorly - the company was seriously hacked 2 years after I left - boo hoo).  So my own job was looking iffy.  So she comes back home after graduation - to pack.  "I'm in love with another man."  She'd been schulping her "study mate and lab partner" for most of those two years away and then very purposefully milked me while assuring fidelity in our marriage. 
This from a "good Southern Baptist" gal who was near evangelical.  And yet, when a younger stud appears who promises that together they can make a wealthier life  - well, it's history.  That good Southern Baptist Christian gal loves - "stuff."  Mammon.  Lot's of nice "stuff."  I couldn't supply enough "stuff" even though I was raking in some serious jack.  So now her and her new hubby working together in the same hospital, pulling down some very serious money from day one - she had it all now.  Huge house, lots and lots of stuff.  And a "True Christian Husband" (a church-goer) who together with her could purchase more and more - Stuff!. 
Me?  Lost my job three months later.  Great timing on their part as I was 55 and vested - took my retirement challenged soon to be Ex to attempt a claim in court.  She didn't 
Then - I traveled.  It was a blessing.  Retiring at 55.  Anyone who works until they are in their later year need to have their heads examined. 
So yeah - she ****** me.  And ultimately I thank her for it.  She freed me.

One, first one here, she married a Japanese guy, whilst i was away me mate told me,  silly tart brought photos into the bar

we drank in of the happy event. learning curve 101, 1997.

Funny enough, met her again 18 years latter,  back on the game

at a bar in soi 8 Pattaya. money gone, husband gone, house gone.

but great at playing cards, or maybe not.

TIT.

  

22 minutes ago, connda said:

The last one.  And seriously betrayed.  I completely supported her from the day we married.  I funded and supported her business adventures.  Then when she decided to go back to uni I gave her a full "free-ride" scholarship.  Because the program she was taking wasn't offered where we live, I moved her to a different city to complete the last two years of her degree. 
She graduated at a time when my own company was downsizing starting with senior staff (as they hired college grads to take our place - poorly - the company was seriously hacked 2 years after I left - boo hoo).  So my own job was looking iffy.  So she comes back home after graduation - to pack.  "I'm in love with another man."  She'd been schulping her "study mate and lab partner" for most of those two years away and then very purposefully milked me while assuring fidelity in our marriage. 
This from a "good Southern Baptist" gal who was near evangelical.  And yet, when a younger stud appears who promises that together they can make a wealthier life  - well, it's history.  That good Southern Baptist Christian gal loves - "stuff."  Mammon.  Lot's of nice "stuff."  I couldn't supply enough "stuff" even though I was raking in some serious jack.  So now her and her new hubby working together in the same hospital, pulling down some very serious money from day one - she had it all now.  Huge house, lots and lots of stuff.  And a "True Christian Husband" (a church-goer) who together with her could purchase more and more - Stuff!. 
Me?  Lost my job three months later.  Great timing on their part as I was 55 and vested - took my retirement challenged soon to be Ex to attempt a claim in court.  She didn't 
Then - I traveled.  It was a blessing.  Retiring at 55.  Anyone who works until they are in their later year need to have their heads examined. 
So yeah - she ****** me.  And ultimately I thank her for it.  She freed me.

With all that say.  I put about $35K into fertility treatments so she could have a child (I already had a daughter from the previous marriage).  Nada.
Thank God. 

And with her new young stud?  Nada. 

Karma.

1 hour ago, Pravda said:

My guess is it's the same with Russian/Ukrainian women or pretty much any Slavic women. True gold-diggers.

My grandmother was a saint.  That's a broad statement.  And I've known some very wonderful 'Slavic' gals. 

1 hour ago, The Hammer2021 said:

Deadbeat dads! Useless farang men...

My ex-wife lost custody of my daughter to me when my daughter was 11.
I paid my ex-wife custody up until my daughter was handed over to me by a court.
My ex-wife never paid me a cent.  Nothing.  Ever.  And I couldn't get WA state to move against her.  They needed me to provide her SSN to them? They were a government organization who collected support from me.  They had her SSN. 

So give it a ****ing break.  There are two sides to the lame story.  I don't want to hear it - it's total BS.

There as some men and women who drop the financial support of their children. 

1 hour ago, Gottfrid said:

Oh dear! Men talking about being betrayed, when it´s mostly men that goes with other young girls and betrays their wife in Thailand. But, hey! Most of them have a perfectly good excuse, or just believe it´s a mans right to do that.

I gave you a like for raising an overlooked but relevant side to this discussion.  To fairly level this discussion both questions should be asked and answered.

So, for me I've been "betrayed" 4 times and I've "betrayed" twice.  I have to put "betrayed" in quotes because I don't believe in monogamy.  Monogamy is a cultural belief for a lot of different cultures so I do respect it where it's practised.  Not to excuse myself but the two times I played the role of betrayer I was a very much besotted betrayer.

 

And I've redeemed myself for those betrayals by having my best, longest and most likely last relationship with the last woman who betrayed me (and she did at least 3 times).  Her last betrayal resulted in pregnancy.  Our daughter, who I accurately refer to as 'my' daughter as I've raised her, is now 9 years old.  And my wife and I couldn't be happier together, especially these past 10 years (out of 15 total).

 

(I swear it's damn near impossible for me to post without at least 1 misspelling, other grammatical error, rewording, or afterthought.)