A Sad Story About A Very Elderly, Lonely, Englishman.

[November Rain]

Indeed

People here just gave solutions ...... including me.

Perhaps so far in this topic, your reply is the only one to be "no reply".

Solutions?

live like you live today or "Jump" or piss back to UK .....basically this is what the solution will be, not many other solutions

I've never had a "holiday" from TV & never wanted one, but I think I'm going to risk it (& maybe get one) tonight You, sir, are a heartless bastard. Jump? This is an old man, who may be curmudgeonly, may be responsible for the state he finds himself in - but you really think he should jump from the 15th floor of a building? I believe that was the floor you specified? I can't find the words to express my contempt.

Mobi, MiG & others who are trying to help - well done. I hope you come up with something. I can't really help, except maybe check out Cheshire Homes. I think they're only for Thais, but it might be worth trying. Just a suggestion to throw out there. Good luck.

BTW, Mr Duke, before you start wondering aloud what got my knickers in a twist, I'll tell you. My father jumped. Different reasons, different floor, same result. Think about who might be reading before running your mouth.

[Austhaied]

You go on a holiday then i am going on one as well. This dick69 is way out of order on this one. I don't like it when my blood boils when reading a post and this jerk has done it for me. I have lost 2 of my best friends to suicide and it ain't pretty and it certainly is NO solution..

I hope the mods check this out and make a move. Disgraceful.

[Robski]

Even though Mobi thought he was doing the right thing,

threads like this inadvertantly bring out the worst in some and are a recipe for disaster.

Don't be drawn in, there is always the report function.

Edited June 8, 2007 by Robski

[November Rain]

Thanks, Austhaied

[Austhaied]

Thanks, Austhaied

That's what friends are for. No worries.

[Mossfinn]

I don't fault Mobi for caring, but there are so many more cases of people even more deserving of charity that this fellow, who has apparently burnt all his bridges behind him. Kids who can't afford shoes for school in Isaan, children here who are working and going to school to take care of their crippled parents, orphans-- there are hard cases here without end. Personally I would reserve my charity to those even less fortunate and who didn't have a hand in creating their own misfortune. I wonder how long it would be before he alienates any poor woman that goes to work for him?

There are so many worthwhile charitable causes to spend time and money on in Thailand.

This is not one of them.

Unless I have mis-read Mobi's post, which I admit is quite possible, I can see no mention of Charity, only help in trying to source a live-in home help, of which he is willing to pay, by relative standards, a reasonable wage.

One problem is his ability to alienate himself from the world, which is a further symptom of the alienation and not the cause, but a home-help, with little English would probably circumvent the short comings in the arrangement.

As for why the OP eliciting such negative responses is beyond me and how it gets on to visa regs and the biggest economic crisis of the Countries history is really quite difficult to comprehend.

Respect to both Mig for her contribution and to Mobi for bringing it to the attention of those who can make some positive and constructive contribution, personally I can't.

As for November, I can only support your comment as the potless requests for people to make the ultimate sacrifice is not worthy of condemnation, just loathing and contempt.

From another who has gone through the pain of Suicide in the family.

Moss

[Mobi]

58 answers in and the correct reply was the first one given. Sorry Mobi but charity begins at home,

You've hardly painted a rosey picture of this guy, so who is really going to be interested in helping him?

Maybe you shouldn't have posted this topic as it is only going to create controversy.

Don't YOU have a spare room Mobi?

Sorry, don't understand where you're coming from.

All I asked for was help in finding him a maid, and any constructive suggestions that may be of help in this difficult and sad situation.

I see nothing wrong with a sensible discussion on this kind of subject. No doubt these types of situations will become more and more common in the future.

So anything that creates controversy shouldn't be posted??

Surely you aren't serious in suggesting that I put this gentleman - who I hardly know - up in my own home?

I'm not asking anyone else to do that.

Please explain 'charity begins at home' and where it's relevance is to what I have posted.

Thank you.

[Mid]

a word that comes to mind here is ,

dementia

[Robski]

You've hardly painted a rosey picture of this guy, so who is really going to be interested in helping him?

Maybe you shouldn't have posted this topic as it is only going to create controversy.

[jdinasia]

58 answers in and the correct reply was the first one given. Sorry Mobi but charity begins at home,

You've hardly painted a rosey picture of this guy, so who is really going to be interested in helping him?

Maybe you shouldn't have posted this topic as it is only going to create controversy.

Don't YOU have a spare room Mobi?

Sorry, don't understand where you're coming from.

All I asked for was help in finding him a maid, and any constructive suggestions that may be of help in this difficult and sad situation.

I see nothing wrong with a sensible discussion on this kind of subject. No doubt these types of situations will become more and more common in the future.

So anything that creates controversy shouldn't be posted??

Surely you aren't serious in suggesting that I put this gentleman - who I hardly know - up in my own home?

I'm not asking anyone else to do that.

Please explain 'charity begins at home' and where it's relevance is to what I have posted.

Thank you.

My need to try and save the world left YEARS ago. Do I help people? Sure ..

But to be bothered to help some guy with the wherewithall to help himself? No! Even less so for a guy that chose the situation he is in ... and blames everyone else! If he's NOT insane and he has been here as long as you say he shouldn't have too much trouble managing to get help on his own. If he IS insane then Thailand just needs to ship him back to the UK.

But Mobi .... don't you think it is a bit disingenuous to not be helping the guy yourself directly instead of asking people that don't know him to solve it somehow? <This isn't the orphanage where the need for help is so overwhelming that many people are needed to make a dent in it!>

[torito]

But Mobi .... don't you think it is a bit disingenuous to not be helping the guy yourself directly instead of asking people that don't know him to solve it somehow?

'jdinasia' don't you think that it is a little arrogant from you to think that people cannot judge and make an opinion by themselves....some already have offered to help!

who are you mate? che guevara?

[LinkPopularity]

I already feel sorry for the maid to be ... taking care for a selfish, stupid, annoying old man ?

probably getting yelled at the time, never a thank you etc ...

please, do the maid a favor and don't ask her !

[jdinasia]

But Mobi .... don't you think it is a bit disingenuous to not be helping the guy yourself directly instead of asking people that don't know him to solve it somehow?

'jdinasia' don't you think that it is a little arrogant from you to think that people cannot judge and make an opinion by themselves....some already have offered to help!

who are you mate? che guevara?

But Mobi .... don't you think it is a bit disingenuous to not be helping the guy yourself directly instead of asking people that don't know him to solve it somehow? <This isn't the orphanage where the need for help is so overwhelming that many people are needed to make a dent in it!>

was that whole section ..... but honestly the important part of that post was further up

At least I am not saying the guy should be a jumper ... though I fully believe that choosing your death is a right that shouldn't be belittled

[torito]

I already feel sorry for the maid to be ... taking care for a selfish, stupid, annoying old man ?

probably getting yelled at the time, never a thank you etc ...

please, do the maid a favor and don't ask her !

If you are already nasty I can't image how you would be when you get older! ...

Leave others to take decisions by themselves mate!

[grtaylor]

The other thing that crossed my mind was why has UK frozen his pension?

As far as I know anybody receiving a UK state pension is entitled to the annual increases providing they continue to live in either the UK, the EU, a Commonwalth country or,I think, the US. If they choose to live outside of these countries they will continue to receive a pension but it is frozen at level it was when they moved.

I'm afraid its not really quite as logical as that. Yes, if you're in the EU (including UK) your UK pension is is index-linked. If you take your UK pension in Australia (commonwealth!) or Thailand, its frozen the day you receive it. If however, you live in the Philippines, its index-linked the same as if you were in Europe. There is no logic to this, and the British government have admitted that. All they will say is they can't afford to change the rules. A group of Aussie UK pension recipients are taking the UK government to the European Court over it, but it unlikely they'll win.

G

[Mobi]

QUOTE(jdinasia @ 2007-06-08 22:30:05) *

But Mobi .... don't you think it is a bit disingenuous to not be helping the guy yourself directly instead of asking people that don't know him to solve it somehow?

I'm trying to help. This forum is not the only place that I'm seeking advice and trying to find him a maid. If you are not interested in giving positive feed back then why do you bother to come on here and be nasty?

I am an acquaintance, not a friend - I have met him 3 or 4 times. He is in a bad situation, and it seems that his real friends of many years have deserted him, for the reasons I have explained. I would say that he is clinically depressed, and quite possibly is suffering from early dementia. I'm not a doctor, but to my mind, no-one willingly and consciously allows themselves to get into this kind of situation and not try to find a way out.

It is ridiculous to suggest that I should be putting him up in my home - which isn't even in Bangkok - and not be seeking help and advice here.

I used to respect you but I just don't see where you get off on this.

LinkPopularity Posted Today, 2007-06-08 23:27:12

I already feel sorry for the maid to be ... taking care for a selfish, stupid, annoying old man ?

probably getting yelled at the time, never a thank you etc ...

please, do the maid a favor and don't ask her !

Thank you for that thoughtful insight.

Just for the record, he may be curmudgeonly, but he doesn't shout at anyone, least of all Thais, and he can also speak some Thai. I think if we find the right match, he would not be too difficult to manage.

[jdinasia]

again Mobi --- the important part of the post you quoted was just above that ....

I still respect you for the work you do with the orphanage .... I just think this one is over the top

[lkjh]

people do get cranky near death, demented and lose friends........ Sad for the old boy IMO, An option if all else fails would be a home. 7k or thereabouts would fit the bill i guess?

[LinkPopularity]

I already feel sorry for the maid to be ... taking care for a selfish, stupid, annoying old man ?

probably getting yelled at the time, never a thank you etc ...

please, do the maid a favor and don't ask her !

If you are already nasty I can't image how you would be when you get older! ...

Leave others to take decisions by themselves mate!

it wouldn't surprise me that we read some day about a maid locked in the toilet for a couple of days without food by an old man ... I'm serious !

maybe there's a very good reason why his friends don't want to help him anymore and not just the whinning

can you assure that the poor maid will be save ?

some many here are showing off how caring and understanding they are, but nobody seems to care for the poor mnaid who will have to sauffer from that guy day in day out for a lousy 7.000 Baht !

I care for the abused woman ! I'm trying to keep her away from troubles the old guy brought to himself, because she'll be the victim !!

anyway, what decision are you talking about ?

the decision to do the dirty work for the guy ?

for sure it will some poor woman with children to feed who doesn't have any choice, better to help her !

and that's what I'm doing ....

Edited June 8, 2007 by LinkPopularity

[ColPyat]

I think that 7000 baht a month will not get a qualified nurse. And an 80 year old man that has already ailments does not need a maid, but a qualified an experienced nurse. If not now, then very soon.

I would really suggest to bring that man to the attention of one of the Churches here. They might have avenues to help which people here on the forum have not.

[Edonista]

I already feel sorry for the maid to be ... taking care for a selfish, stupid, annoying old man ?

probably getting yelled at the time, never a thank you etc ...

please, do the maid a favor and don't ask her !

If you are already nasty I can't image how you would be when you get older! ...

Leave others to take decisions by themselves mate!

He is not nasty.

Simply, he thinks the "maid to be" deserves more simpathy then the "selfish,stupid,annoying old man".

I agree with him

[ColPyat]

He is not nasty.

Simply, he thinks the "maid to be" deserves more simpathy then the "selfish,stupid,annoying old man".

I agree with him

I hope that all you people realize that chances are that one day you are also old. I hope for you that you still have families left then, and enough money to take care of such needs.

Otherwise you may encounter similar comments directed at you as well. Which would serve you right, if i may add.

[farang prince]

I think the numbers of guys in this situation will only increase in the coming decades.

He is probably in the vanguard of guys in this situation - either can not or will not go home and has no support from family or friends far away from home.

I wonder if the British Embassy have any contacts but i would not hold my breath.

8 years ago I knew of an American Dr who used to help guys like this but mainly through catholic church contacts - he will be getting on a bit himself now and will be in his 70's I would guess

Prakanong, I think you are absolutely right. We are going to see a lot of this over the coming years. I feel sorry for the old gent, but he made his bed. There are plenty of other heartbreaking stories in Thailand about people who are more sympathetic.

[mcgriffith]

The emotionalism exhibited in many of these posts is a product of our collective sense of impending mortality.

I have someone known to me in my building here in CM who is in very similar circumstances.

78 yrs old. Still gets around (walking) but lives on a very limited income. Suffers from clinical depression; on medication.

Tried to do himself in a year or so ago.

It grieves the heart to see people in this state. Everyone here who is a friend insists he should just go home to the States. Of course he won't- he's been here so long this is "home".

Time will take its course.....

[carnival1200]

And on a practical level, does anyone know of anyone – maybe up country – who may be willing to take care of him? If so, please PM me and we can explore it further.

If he can do a bit gardening i'll take hime of your hands

Edited June 8, 2007 by Maestro
Reduced quoted text. No need to quote the entire, lenghty post.

[Ijustwannateach]

I wonder if I've seen this man? Or someone like him.

Not far away from my office, I have often noticed at lunch a frail, elderly man sitting on a public bench and eating plain rice out of a plastic bag. He had a long, curly beard and was balding; most of his hair was still brown but he was clearly quite aged and frail (skinny, osteoporetic). He had thick glasses and a worn knapsack, and stayed focussed on his rice- I never made eye contact with him.

If he is not the man described by Mobi, he seems to be someone much like him- reduced not by choice to eating plain rice off the street vendors. Certainly it is an edifying warning about saving for the future and building a family of some sort.

"S"

[ColPyat]

Try this add in Pattaymail/people/today: Miserable old git, likes to moan a lot, no friends after 80 years - due to mans inhumanity to fellow man, free to good home. Cruel world

Do we really need this, and many similar posts here?

I am disgusted. Many replies to this thread are a record of low here.

Moderators? Please?

Edited June 8, 2007 by ColPyat

[torito]

I already feel sorry for the maid to be ... taking care for a selfish, stupid, annoying old man ?

probably getting yelled at the time, never a thank you etc ...

please, do the maid a favor and don't ask her !

If you are already nasty I can't image how you would be when you get older! ...

Leave others to take decisions by themselves mate!

He is not nasty.

Simply, he thinks the "maid to be" deserves more simpathy then the "selfish,stupid,annoying old man".

I agree with him

You make a good couple mate...I can image you both seating in a bar fixing this world....just a couple of silver spoon little boys who believe that knows everything about life and people..but they do nothing..

A couple of people attempting to do something, with good intentions. The object is irrelevant in a world in where there are millions of good causes to take in....while in Africa 20 thousand children die of starvation every month, in Europe I have seen organizations collecting money for street dogs....we can discuss which cause has more nobility, nbut the matter is that somebody decides to do something about it.

This world is full of misery and suffering, because of selfishness, ego and arrogance. In addition to these virtues, vulgarity in the expression appears to be the other of your qualities...

Don't make believe that you want to protect a lady....I am not so naive. You are not defending any cause neither a point of view, you are just been plain bullies...

[chuchok]

I already feel sorry for the maid to be ... taking care for a selfish, stupid, annoying old man ?

probably getting yelled at the time, never a thank you etc ...

please, do the maid a favor and don't ask her !

If you are already nasty I can't image how you would be when you get older! ...

Leave others to take decisions by themselves mate!

He is not nasty.

Simply, he thinks the "maid to be" deserves more simpathy then the "selfish,stupid,annoying old man".

I agree with him

You make a good couple mate...I can image you both seating in a bar fixing this world....just a couple of silver spoon little boys who believe that knows everything about life and people..but they do nothing..

A couple of people attempting to do something, with good intentions. The object is irrelevant in a world in where there are millions of good causes to take in....while in Africa 20 thousand children die of starvation every month, in Europe I have seen organizations collecting money for street dogs....we can discuss which cause has more nobility, nbut the matter is that somebody decides to do something about it.

This world is full of misery and suffering, because of selfishness, ego and arrogance. In addition to these virtues, vulgarity in the expression appears to be the other of your qualities...

Don't make believe that you want to protect a lady....I am not so naive. You are not defending any cause neither a point of view, you are just been plain bullies...

I got a better word than bullies, but forum rules say that I can't use it.Agree with your post 100%.

[qwertz]

To all out there.

Please don't think I'm being pessimistic here but............

Growing old and frail is sh!te.

I should pray it won't happen to me but I know it will so I leave out the prayers.

I suppose I'll lose my sense of humour too and become a whinging old git to anyone prepared to listen.

It'll be hard to keep a smile on my face when I have to beg for help to open jars and awkward packaging.

Or to get the key into my door lock with trembling hands.

Because you lose all dignity and that's the worst loss of all.

It's the same inevitable road which we're all travelling; some just started earlier than others.

How do I know all this?

I watched my my mother, a strong and resolute woman inexorably become a basket case before she died aged 88.

And I'm now watching the same process devour my mother in law, also aged 88.

Have a heart for the poor old bugger, all you "jump" protagonists and "don't give a sh!t" brigade.