Cultural Misunderstanding or Cultural Incompatibilty?

[Dante99]

6 minutes ago, sqwakvfr said:

I am not White.  

So what?

[sqwakvfr]

4 hours ago, Dante99 said:

So what?

?This wWeak white men who want to cater to other people's needs generally fail in Thailand.as in response to this line: ? 

 

My response was not meant for you.

 

 

[Dante99]

5 hours ago, sqwakvfr said:

My response was not meant for you.

then send it in a PM to the person it was meant for, this is an open forum

 

question still stands

 

so what

[Gottfrid]

On 5/28/2022 at 10:03 AM, CharlieH said:

Looking to play chess in a land of checkers.

 

The game is impossible to play, don't apply your rules and standards and you won't be disappointed.You first must learn again.

Definitely a misunderstanding then ???? 

[Mac Mickmanus]

On 5/28/2022 at 3:55 AM, sqwakvfr said:

In Chiang Mai there is woman and a toddler who are homeless.

Are there genuine homeless people with toddlers living on the streets in Chiang Mai ?

  There are some professional beggars who borrow Children when begging in order to earn more money , but I don't recall ever seeing toddlers living on the streets , even the professional beggars had homes to go to 

[swerve]

I usually tip for meals, but after reading this post I think I will feel better if I don't tip in the future.  Sorted.

[Thujone]

18 minutes ago, swerve said:

I usually tip for meals, but after reading this post I think I will feel better if I don't tip in the future.  Sorted.

But if you go to the same restaurant again they will fart on your fondue before serving, as punishment, so the theory goes.

A tip in a restaurant isn't for gratitude, it's an extortion payment.

[JimmyJ]

18 hours ago, Airalee said:

https://abc7.com/pregnant-panhandler-rich-fake-beggar-mercedes-benz/391377/
 

There was another story in NYC that made the news back in the 90’s if I remember correctly where the couple were allegedly bringing in $250,000 annually. 

This "pregnant panhandler" story seems  credible, although I don't understand why it wasn't followed up on by the TV station, and by the cops for the threatened assault.

 

@CharlieH - I guess the begging man with the million pound mansion could have happened also as you described in which case my comment was wrong and your post was correct and wrongly criticized by me.

I would like to read more about it if anyone comes across the story.

(I tried a search for it but couldn't find it).

 

I hope all realize that these are "one offs".

Unfortunately too many people like to generalize and suddenly in their mind everyone on the street begging is getting rich and they use that as a universal excuse to never extend any help.

 

 

[Airalee]

4 minutes ago, JimmyJ said:

This "pregnant panhandler" story seems  credible, although I don't understand why it wasn't followed up on by the TV station, and by the cops for the threatened assault.

 

@CharlieH - I guess the begging man with the million pound mansion could have happened also as you described in which case my comment was wrong and your post was correct and wrongly criticized by me.

I would like to read more about it if anyone comes across the story.

(I tried a search for it but couldn't find it).

 

I hope all realize that these are "one offs".

Unfortunately too many people like to generalize and suddenly in their mind everyone on the street begging is getting rich and they use that as a universal excuse to never extend any help.

 

 

Just wanted to say that I don’t disagree with your original post.  I think that many people read these stories in the news (I’ve only known of a few) and somehow internalize them and then, like you say, go online and say “I gave to a beggar once and saw them drive off in a Benz”.  I’m not pointing any fingers at anybody here but like you, I’ve seen it mentioned enough that it makes me wonder how so many people know the same scammer. ????

[Lemsta69]

1 hour ago, Thujone said:

But if you go to the same restaurant again they will fart on your fondue before serving, as punishment, so the theory goes.

A tip in a restaurant isn't for gratitude, it's an extortion payment.

well if you're silly enough to not leave a tip when it's expected/mandatory eg. USA then you deserve everything you get. 

[Thujone]

9 hours ago, Lemsta69 said:

well if you're silly enough to not leave a tip when it's expected/mandatory eg. USA then you deserve everything you get. 

That's interesting.

So you agree with restaurant staff running a protection racket, where they will do revolting things to your food unless you bribe them not to?

What a strange way of thinking.

[Bill97]

29 minutes ago, Thujone said:

where they will do revolting things to your food unless you bribe them not to?

Where ?

 

Not where I eat.

[Thujone]

18 minutes ago, Bill97 said:

Where ?

 

Not where I eat.

This is the theory.

Could be an urban myth.

But it's curious that somebody agrees with that behaviour, if it happens, as punishment for those who don't tip.

Edited June 1, 2022 by Thujone

[JimTripper]

To answer your question on the ladies weird behavior. It's a face thing, but I prefer the term PRIDE for non-thai's. You just give quickly and walk away. They appreciate it, but don't have to show in public they are poor or needy.

 

Remember the motto for Thailand:

HUMBLE on the OUTSIDE

PRIDE on the INSIDE

 

See you on the flipside ????‍♂️

Edited June 1, 2022 by JimTripper

[Lemsta69]

2 hours ago, Thujone said:

That's interesting.

So you agree with restaurant staff running a protection racket, where they will do revolting things to your food unless you bribe them not to?

What a strange way of thinking.

agree with it, say what? simply pointing out that actions have consequences. don't poke the bear. 

 

in the US, where the bulk of those urban myths seem to arise, tips are what the service staff live on. that's the game. hate the game not the place. don't tip the standard 15% and they've effectively worked for nothing. maybe they won't make the rent or cant buy Chrissy presents for their kids. 

 

but you sound like you don't have much practical life experience so I CBF trying to explain any further. kthxbye ????

[Thujone]

10 minutes ago, Lemsta69 said:

agree with it, say what? simply pointing out that actions have consequences. don't poke the bear. 

 

in the US, where the bulk of those urban myths seem to arise, tips are what the service staff live on. that's the game. hate the game not the place. don't tip the standard 15% and they've effectively worked for nothing. maybe they won't make the rent or cant buy Chrissy presents for their kids. 

 

but you sound like you don't have much practical life experience so I CBF trying to explain any further. kthxbye ????

'well if you're silly enough to not leave a tip when it's expected/mandatory eg. USA then you deserve everything you get.'

 

So you agree that not leaving a tip deserves a fart on your fondue next visit.

Ok.

Got it.

(Not sure what that's got to do with me not having life experience...)

[SammyJ]

On 5/28/2022 at 10:11 AM, StayinThailand2much said:

Are you sure the homeless people you're giving money to are Thai, or, perhaps, are they Cambodian, brought there by Thai gangs as a beggar scam?

Exactly right--he says has lived in Thailand for many years but has no understanding that what you describe is quite common practice, more so, likely in Bkk and Pattaya, but still here, as well--so, when she didn't get the amount she expected, she was thinking of being able to add it to a total to turn in--and why she rarely, if ever responded when you gave money before, because it was not going into her pocket, but into that of her handlers.  It is quite possible as well that she has medical or other issues, but as one poster suggested--give the money or not, then not worry about it--certainly not the Thai way.  Reminds me of those who want to give money, here or back in the US, to some person on the street, but the potential "giver" is worried that the person just might buy alcohol or drugs or something with the money.

[BritManToo]

On 6/1/2022 at 9:19 AM, Thujone said:

That's interesting.

So you agree with restaurant staff running a protection racket, where they will do revolting things to your food unless you bribe them not to?

What a strange way of thinking.

How can they do revolting things?

Tip or not comes after you've eaten.

[Thujone]

20 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

How can they do revolting things?

Tip or not comes after you've eaten.

The theory is that the farts are on a repeat visit, not on the untipped visit.

[Dante99]

13 minutes ago, Thujone said:

The theory is that the farts are on a repeat visit, not on the untipped visit.

The theory is you are very sick.  Oh not theory, fact.

[sitanonchai]

Tipping - No it's not usual so when in Rome do as the Romans, even when i'm alone out for example in a restaurant. And I don't care about their reactions.

Beggars - I use the Thai saying during the Shinawatra era, "Thai Help Thai" - "ไทยช่วยไหย". 

[Sticky Rice Balls]

On 6/1/2022 at 9:19 AM, Thujone said:

That's interesting.

So you agree with restaurant staff running a protection racket, where they will do revolting things to your food unless you bribe them not to?

What a strange way of thinking.

just dont send food back......its the ones that cook your food that your dont pi$$ off.

 

ive been cooking for over 30 yrs.....ive witnessed some stuff.....waitstaff will just call you out

[Thujone]

12 hours ago, Sticky Rice Balls said:

just dont send food back......its the ones that cook your food that your dont pi$$ off.

 

ive been cooking for over 30 yrs.....ive witnessed some stuff.....waitstaff will just call you out

The point some, even many people make is that if somebody makes a return visit to a restaurant where they haven't tipped, repulsive additions may be made to your food as punishment.

But, as I said, this could be an urban myth.

[Kwasaki]

22 minutes ago, Thujone said:

The point some, even many people make is that if somebody makes a return visit to a restaurant where they haven't tipped, repulsive additions may be made to your food as punishment.

But, as I said, this could be an urban myth.

Where on earth do you lot live to think about a restaurant that would do that. 

[FolkGuitar]

On 6/3/2022 at 9:58 AM, BritManToo said:

How can they do revolting things?

Tip or not comes after you've eaten.

In the States, I've eaten at lunch counters where you have to put your tip in front of you before a waiter will even come and take your order. Until I put two dollars on the counter in front of me, no one would take my order. I sat for five minutes waiting, until a 'regular' there explained what was required. As soon as I put down my tip, the waiter came over and took my sandwich order.

It's not the waiter's fault. It's the fault of all American who permit restaurant owners to pay less than minimum wage to waitstaff, requiring them to live on their tips.

[Sticky Rice Balls]

13 hours ago, Thujone said:

The point some, even many people make is that if somebody makes a return visit to a restaurant where they haven't tipped, repulsive additions may be made to your food as punishment.

But, as I said, this could be an urban myth.

Ive worked in every position in food service and attended culinary school--Ive seen it all 30+yrs

 

Waitstaff will just refuse to wait on u again...as ive been a waiter--busboy-manager-cook-chef-dishwasher--host--etc.....sending food back tell the cook u disagree with his skills--hence my suggestion not to do so..Ive seen horrible things....watch the movie   "Waiting"   holds true...

[SammyJ]

On 5/30/2022 at 2:43 PM, Lemsta69 said:

I've been doing this for some time with wait staff that I really like but I've recently had it confirmed by a Bangkok BG that it's a "thing". she told me her friend was really peeved one night because one of her regulars gave her an 800 baht tip but he put it in the "box" instead of her hand. once it goes in the "box" supposedly no-one can touch it except the cashier. box meaning the little tray they bring your bill/change on.

The  protocol is, of course, if the tip goes in the box, or on the tray--which then goes in the box, those are tips to be shared via whatever sharing system that place has set up--a tip "in the hand" can go directly into the pocket of that individual, and usually, that individual wants others to see that you put the tip into her hand so no one can accuse her of "stealing tips" that should go in the box and shared.

[Thujone]

On 7/1/2022 at 11:52 AM, FolkGuitar said:

In the States, I've eaten at lunch counters where you have to put your tip in front of you before a waiter will even come and take your order. Until I put two dollars on the counter in front of me, no one would take my order. I sat for five minutes waiting, until a 'regular' there explained what was required. As soon as I put down my tip, the waiter came over and took my sandwich order.

It's not the waiter's fault. It's the fault of all American who permit restaurant owners to pay less than minimum wage to waitstaff, requiring them to live on their tips.

So it's not a tip.

It's a protection racket payment.

Those who don't pay are punished.

Those who don't tip shouldn't be intimidated into funding somebody else's poor career choice.

Edited July 3, 2022 by Thujone

[Iamfalang]

On 5/28/2022 at 9:55 AM, sqwakvfr said:

I am courteous to them and in turn most have been courteous to me. 

You tip, but you're only happy with yourself if they prostrate in front of you and worship your existence?   I admit, a smile would be nice from them; however, your 10 baht will not change their life and maybe they know this 10 baht means you will tell all your Facebook friends how great you are.....as they continue to suffer.

 

True generosity is to never tell anyone about it.......give, and continue to give.    

[proton]

I think it's a bit of a myth that Thais do not tip, all the ones I have been out to rat with over the years have. If you don't get a nice wai never tip that person again.