Dating Via Text Message

[Goinghomesoon]

Okay gals, I have been here a few months and casually dating a Thai guy. We both work, our hours rarely coincide and we manage to meet up once or twice a week. The baffling thing for me is the amount of SMS messages I get between times, sometimes 2 or 3 a day. Is this a common Thai thing? It never happened to me in the other asian countries I've lived in. I quite like it actually.

[DamianMavis]

Sorry, I'm a man... yes Im apologising for being male, this forum makes me feel like its needed. Anyway, I can give you a perspective the ladies might not. As a male in Thailand (although not Thai) I see the messaging system as a unique dating device. Basically, you get a girls number at a bar..... you message her before the end of the night with something sweet and then message her minimum once a day until you get your first date. In effect this can make date 1 feel like date 3 and greatly increases your chances of taking her to bed on the first real date. This is not just me..... this is common for all my male friends Thai and falang alike. However we are 20's and 30s crowd so not sure if that makes a difference. One suspicion I have is that the girls use the messaging system too so they feel less "easy" when they do land up having sex on the first date. Disclaimer: I'm in a relationship and don't message any strange girls anymore!

After that, daily messaging is used to keep the relationship strong without having to see the person too often. Keep the booty call interested by seeing her once a week or once every 2 weeks but send messages every day. We call all this "maintenance", including the weekly or biweekly "visits" in person.

Damian

[LaReina]

OP: Aww that is so sweet. He thinks about you that often as you are constantly running through his mind.

It is not a thai thing, I think it is more like a "we don't have an answering machine with all phone services thing".

My husband did that while we were dating and he was working in another country. He still does and I think it is romantic. He is either thinking about me that often, or... wants to make sure the coast is clear (joking). However, I am the only one that I know, whoose husband does this and my gf's look at me weird.

I think it is sweet.

[Mid]

Philippines has been at it for years , definitely NOT a Thai thing .

[sbk]

Sorry, I'm a man... yes Im apologising for being male, this forum makes me feel like its needed. Anyway, I can give you a perspective the ladies might not. As a male in Thailand (although not Thai) I see the messaging system as a unique dating device. Basically, you get a girls number at a bar..... you message her before the end of the night with something sweet and then message her minimum once a day until you get your first date. In effect this can make date 1 feel like date 3 and greatly increases your chances of taking her to bed on the first real date. This is not just me..... this is common for all my male friends Thai and falang alike. However we are 20's and 30s crowd so not sure if that makes a difference. One suspicion I have is that the girls use the messaging system too so they feel less "easy" when they do land up having sex on the first date. Disclaimer: I'm in a relationship and don't message any strange girls anymore!

After that, daily messaging is used to keep the relationship strong without having to see the person too often. Keep the booty call interested by seeing her once a week or once every 2 weeks but send messages every day. We call all this "maintenance", including the weekly or biweekly "visits" in person.

Damian

Cheers for the explanation Damian. Its always good to get a male perspective on male behavior

Just curious, do you call this maintenance among yourselves? Like, guys hanging out, one guy messages his girl and comments that he's maintenancing? Or is this just a term you came up with? See, I have this theory about a secret guy school that you all have to go to so that you are all consistent in your "guyness" and your answers could confirm it

[DamianMavis]

No you are pretty close about the "guy school" thing. Only the learning is done "on the job" so to speak but amongst your friends. Ya if one of us is messaging one of his girls he is doing maintenance, but we also refer to the weekly or bi weekly meetup for sex as maintenance too. If you don't do "maintenance" the girl will lose interest. Sounds like a chore and it isn't, it's a joke but based on the reality that if we don't make time for sex with a girl regularly (weekly,biweekly) than she will get discouraged and stop messaging back. It's not just sex of course, usually a movie or dinner is involved too but sometimes it's just the sex, it ALWAYS includes sex. Disclaimer: I'm referring to my past experiences and my friends current behaviour!

Damian

[LaReina]

Sbk: Actually I have heard the term "maintenance" prior to coming to thailand.

You must admit though. Men are scary at times. They are actually far worse than females!

Damian, Damian, Damian... I love the disclaimers.. I take it your current uses your computer often?

But as SBk, said it is nice to hear how men really think. Is it also true that the only reason a guy would take a girl to the movies is to get laid? A guy once told me that.

Goinghome: So now you have it. Since from your nick it appears you will be leaving the Kingdom soon, I guess from a males point of view, if he has not scored yet, this is his last ditch attempt to.

[girlx]

haha this topic title made me laugh- i don't know about thai males but i do a lot of communicating via SMS. it is easier to get your point across and to say what you want to say in writing, at least for me... i have an entire relationship with one friend via SMS. when we run into each other on the street we often struggle at conversation, but not when we send messages.

[Goinghomesoon]

Hehe thanks...Damien I probably needed to hear that it ain't all syrupy sweet all the time. I'm not too concerned about the motives, the texting frequency just threw me. Seems like a lot of effort for something that might not actually happen.

When I was a kid I had penpals all over the world and loved getting letters. I get the same thrill from that little envelope on the screen, isn't that funny?

[LaReina: I need to change my screen name, I'm not going home anytime soon. ]

[DamianMavis]

GirlX, That's true too, some relationships I've had were with girls that didnt speak any english (clear enough to understand) but could message just well enough in english to keep us communicating. In person it was difficult to communicate, but since we had gotten all the communicating (by message) out of the way previously we just got right to the intimate parts of the relationship. Handy sex life saving devices these mobile phones. My friends that have lived here since before mobile phones say that their sex life multiplied times 10 with the introduction of mobile phones and messaging.

LaReina, no for all her vast education my woman isn't very computer savvy but she knows alot of people, and I have always posted using my real name.... and I don't want one of them reading these posts and getting the wrong idea when reading my funny but truthful insights into message dating for men, Im covering my bases. No men don't just bring girls to movies to get laid, sometimes we want to see the movie too!

Goinghomesoon, he could very well be madly in love with you..... but I've seen alot of guys messaging sweet messages to several different girls every day... keeping their stable of women happy with regular maintenance so everything goes smooth during their weekly/biweekly sessions. Never be surprised at the amount of effort a man will go to just to have sex the first time with a new woman, especially a "special" woman like a falang girl or a Japanese girl for a Thai guy. Messaging a few times a day is easy and has a proven effectiveness near 100%.

Damian

Edited July 1, 2007 by DamianMavis

[Nip]

Another male perspective on the SMS thing. For me the sms eliminates having to talk to the girls in between visits to the coal face. Its bad enough to have to wake up beside some of the howlers in a sober state ie with the beer goggles removed but to have to entertain them with charm and wit is too much to expect. I realy like the time saving option of sending a carefully worded message to 5 or 6 girls at the same time. Really though giving mobile phones to Thai women is akin to giving whisky to the Indians. The only good thing about chatting to a Thai bar girl is she can in an instant set your mobile up to avail of the latest phone company call promotion. I was paying 6 Baht a call recently until a girl in a bar took my phone punched a few digits and lo and behold I am now paying 3 Baht for the first minute and 25 satang there after. And I thought women were only good for dancing backwards?

[wangnoi]

Okay gals, I have been here a few months and casually dating a Thai guy. We both work, our hours rarely coincide and we manage to meet up once or twice a week. The baffling thing for me is the amount of SMS messages I get between times, sometimes 2 or 3 a day. Is this a common Thai thing? It never happened to me in the other asian countries I've lived in. I quite like it actually.

My Thai boyfriend (now husband) was the same way. We're an "old" married couple now, but at the beginning of our relationship I used to get 4-5 messages a day. My guy's a bit shy, so at the beginning he was a bit bolder in his texts, so it got to the point where I think I loved the messages even a bit more than talking as the texts were where the romance was at!

[britmaveric]

Well get quite a few from my teerak and send just as many back. Just another tool to show how u feel about someone.

[GracelessFawn]

Philippines has been at it for years , definitely NOT a Thai thing .

Yeah, Filipinos are crazy texters and mobile spammers. A girl friend of mine dumped her bf through a text msg. It's a little funny, but very immature.