Am I Being Taken For A Ride?

[The Fool]

Deleted

[stroll]

Are you somebody we now with a new name taking the piss, fool?

Sounds like an invented story.

[KevinN]

I for one will not touch this one with a long stick.

[Dutchy2]

Why did she need the 20,000 if she had 100,000 saved?

well, 20,000 baht from you is 'free' money, 100,000 baht in savings is her own money. Quite a difference in my opinion, I wouldn't touch my savings neither if someone would be willing to give me money..

When you posted here you probably already knew the answer to your concerns.

Good luck

Dutchy

[snoophound]

All I can say is it is incredible how the family starts asking for money when big money falang comes into the picture.

Of my ladies Thai friends here in Sydney they are all constantly being asked for money by family back home.

In fact sometimes my lady and her sister go back tothailand for holidays and dont tell the family they are coming because they dont want the hassle of the handout line.

[The Fool]

No, I haven't posted here before under any user name, and this is all true. I don't know how I can prove this, or if I even need to.

The interesting thing about the 20,000 is that she never asked me for it, I didn't offer it, and she had the problem solved herself within a couple of days. So I tend to believe her.

[The Fool]

Good point snoophound.

Perhaps she is on the level but her parents are assuming I'm Mr Cashman, and then think they are free to demand all her money?

The thing I found funny about it (with her being Thai, and all you hear about Thai families) is that she was majorly pissed off with her Father when he wouldn't give her the money for University.

[dutch]

Would be interesting to find out a little bit more about you.

What is your age?

What are you doing for a living?

It looks like that you are eating all YOUR savings already!

(if you are that young as I suspect?)

Can your big brother do any investigation?

Keep some blood going to your brain

[KevinN]

How about this statement,,,On this trip I met a girl at an ex-pat Bar / Restaurant (DEFINITELY not a place where bar-girls are welcome). And she was really really nice."

How about that one..

[duke69]

if the story is true, may be you will need to fish why she speaks a good english, how she saved 100,000 Baht (very strange that a Thai girl saves so much, they usually live day by day and spend whatever they have).

Point out immediatly some rules in terms of money to the family (your money) and pray she is not smart enough to consider you as a LONG TERM INVESTMENT.

In that case she will cash her full investment lately, but for you will be much more expensive!!!

Good luck and remember that will be very difficoult for a Thai girl to move overseas one day, they tend to run off (job, boyfriend, family, ....) every time they have even a small problem. It's their culture, they use to quit a job without having found a new one and with zero money in the bank, just very very emotional, no problem solving (Buddism is s religion based on accepting your destiny),

PAY ATTENTION AND ASK ALWAYS ADVICES TO YOUR BROTHER WHO IS REALLY HAVING A N EXPERIENCE WITH ASIAN CULTURE

[The Fool]

As for "On this trip I met a girl at an ex-pat Bar / Restaurant (DEFINITELY not a place where bar-girls are welcome). And she was really really nice."

Ok so reading that sentence back it just looks wrong. What I meant was that she WORKS at this place, and as they don't have bar girls there, she isn't a bar girl (as far as i know.... )

And unfortunately my brother has since come back home, so he is no longer over there.

Good points so far and thanks for the additional insight duke69.

[pnustedt]

The advice which has been given so many times - only pay in Thailand what you can afford to lose.

Only you can know if you are being "taken for a ride". In this relationship you will be continually asked to pay - the choice to pay or not is yours. If it makes you feel good and you can afford it no problem. If not don't pay.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

It sure sounds pretty iffy to me. She's pissed coz dad didn't pay the uni fees, and at the same time she gave dad 100,000 baht to help with the overdue payments on the house.

[appleman_thai]

Can you tell us the name of the place where you met? It may give us some more insight.......

Where does she work?

First of all, I reckon you are right to be a little bit cautious.... if things dont add up then it warrants some further investigation.... but be careful that you dont become over suspicious either.......... although it is much harder if you are not living here.....

Can you get someone to do a background check on her?

[Rascal]

Well, yours is definitely not a first and one of a kind story. It's a slow changing stigma, but many people do still believe that Thai girls that go with Farangs are 'loose' or from bars. That's not always the case, but there are a couple of things you should keep in mind: You make the common mistake of viewing this from a 'Western' point of view. This is Thailand, and things work much more differently here. Women think differently and many of them value different things. In a country where there is much poverty, priorities aren't the same. Women have to consider the welfare of their parents, their own comfort and security, etc. Just because a woman is concerned with these things, it doesn't necessarily mean she's a gold digger and it doesn't always mean that she'll slit your throat in your sleep. You'll find very few Thai people who will marry out of their class. A rich man will seldom marry a poor girl, and a university degree in Thailand doesn't guarantee a decent salary. So my point is this: just because her last two boyfriends were Farangs doesn't mean she's bad. It just means she's smarter. She wants a chance at a better life. Who can blame her? Do you know how hard it is to find a decent Thai man? Lower/Middle class Thai men are not generally hard working. They're infamous for their ability to drink, cheat, lie and live off the women. Who needs that???!!! Farangs are known to be more caring, fair, etc. If you ask me, I think it all evens out in every country no matter where you are. Besides, Thai women often live with this misconceived notion that all Farangs are rich, or that all Farang men can give them a better life. Ha! Anyway, giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe her ability to speak English reflects on her ability to improve herself and maybe her desire to date only Farang men reflects on how negatively she feels about Thai men. On the other hand........

Just because you met her in a 'nice' bar, doesn't mean she isn't a bar girl. Your vision of 'bar girls' is outdated. They come in all forms, shapes, and sizes. You can sit in any five star hotel and find a 'bar girl' nowadays. They're not all skanky things by the beach anymore.

By Thai standards, and this is by Thai standards only: Any girl who will take two weeks off and be with you (I assume you've had sex with her already) is by no means considered a 'decent' Thai girl. Things are different here than they are in the UK or US. "Good" girls are still modest here. They don't just go off with a guy for two weeks.

It seems she's obviously young, but her previous boyfriends (not to mention her best friends' added experiences) have taught her how to 'play the game'.....and it is a game that almost all women play around the world to some degree or other. The question you have to ask yourself is this: She wants a better life for herself. Is that such a bad thing? Most importantly, if she gets what she wants, will she be loyal, caring, and loving to you? I know Thai women who have ten different bank accounts so that ten different guys from different countries can send them money on a monthly basis. That, you DON'T want!

My advice is this: Take your time. What's the rush? Where's the fire (other than in your ......) You both live in different countries, for goodness sakes! Before you go any further, go to www.stephenleather.com and see if you can read "Private Dancer". It's an unpublished novel that takes place in Thailand. Trust me, it'll explain a whole lot because his observations are very accurate when it comes to understanding Thai women. Good luck!

[The Fool]

Well I don't really want to say where she works. It is definitely a very well known "pub / restaurant" and not a "bar" though, so that might give you an idea what sort of place I'm talking about. It is well away from the heavily touristed areas, and away from the red light districts.

You are right though Rascal, I was definitely looking at it from a Western point of view. Good post!

Her English is pretty good as she was doing University and has an interest in languages.

I think Rascal is right in that I need to slow down, give her the benefit of the doubt and be cautious but not paranoid.

[rainman]

If you want to give her money without she asking for it in any way, thats your decision. If you want to give her money because she asks for it, be careful. Making payments like that on an almost daily basis can run up to a few hundred thousand baht quite fast and you haven't known her for that long yet. See if she stays with you if "the money runs out" (even if not really..)

[12call]

What's the name of the PUB/BAR ??? It may answer the question in 1.

[The Fool]

Well I'm not going to say the name of it, as chances are some of the regulars might see this post.

[12call]

Irish,English,Aussie etc etc etc Style Public House???

[The Fool]

Just a Pub.

[Rascal]

Not that I think the name of the Pub is a big deal (there are soooo many!), but I'd guess Shenanigans! (Delaney's)

[The Fool]

Yeah I don't think it is important either, I know it isn't the type to have bargirls.

But anyway, I think I will give her the benefit of the doubt. Thanks to everyone for the advice!!

[12call]

Dubliner or X-Change???

[12call]

Not that I think the name of the Pub is a big deal (there are soooo many!), but I'd guess Shenanigans!  (Delaney's)

The above mentioned do not EXIST!!!

[snowleopard]

She needs 20,000 for University

You have spent a lot of time together so I think you should give her the money with no strings attached and then watch how she behaves from there onwards!

Is she going to be grateful or is she going to ask for even more cash soon?

You will find that out after you've paid the relatively small amount of 20k which I think is worth spending on her anyway!

The ideal thing would be if you could pay the university tuition fee directly so you know it has been paid and where your money went!

You might want to save the money but then you could lose the girl as a result.

Whatever you do,follow your gut feeling!

Cheers.

Snowleopard.

[Begs]

Are you somebody we now with a new name taking the piss, fool?

Sounds like an invented story.

I read a few lines and know this is a troll, no wonder many old hands have left this site, its the same ole crap, just new names.

[Begs]

Her English is pretty good as she was doing Sociology at University and has an interest in languages. She speaks a decent amount of Spanish and some Japanese also.

But you said in your original post that you was suspicious because she could speak such good English, why would you say that, then come out with this statement?

Give it up mate, you are forgetting the crap you typed in your first post, a good troll is a good troll, you are NOT a good troll.

[Begs]

Now for the things which are starting to make me suspicious:

She has good English.

Remember ?

[The Fool]

Well I'm not a troll, but you can believe what you like.

Its ok, I've already got enough advice and info that I think I know what to do now, so it doesn't matter anyway.

I think I just put a bit more thought into the matter after the first post. I was at the point where I was ready to assume everything she said was a lie, and now I've changed my mind a bit.