Island Boys

[rjr]

on phangan the woman were embarrassing,even desperate looking and these were stunning girls falling over themselves to get to the boys.

great read Kitty, and your story wasn't too long at all. nice pics too. just wondering on any given day, approx. how many farang girls would be going after these thai beach boys? also, would you say that most of the single farang girls, who went to Phangan, were looking for a fling with a thai guy? thanks.

[sbk]

Well rjr, I would say that not every girl is after a holiday thai boyfriend, but many are. My husband's family owns a small resort on the island and we get alot of single girls through here. Some are bed hoppers (ie with other farang) and some are not (50-50). But, it does often end up being a big soap opera! Who needs thai tv?

Haadrin is the main place for girls looking for a holiday thai b-friend as that is where most of the bars are and most of the "beach boys" looking for a good time. Kitty could probably give you a better idea of any given day statistics, just remember that around the Full Moon party Haadrin is full of people (boys and girls) looking for a good time so the amount would be quite high right about now

[samran]

my 2 cents.

Many years ago when I was unmarried and single, I made the mistake of speaking Thai at a bar at Lamai beach when ordering a drink. Then I started having a chat to an english girl in our travellers group I had my eye on.

Talk about being pounced on! A couple of local lads basically cornered me and agressively made it clear that I should stay well clear of any farang girl while I was in that bar.

My introduction to Island Boys!!

[samran]

must admit though that I did end up hanging out with another group of nicer island boys and become the cultural/language interpreter for all of the melrose place goings-on.

Never did end up pulling that english girl though.

[kitty]

on phangan the woman were embarrassing,even desperate looking and these were stunning girls falling over themselves to get to the boys.

great read Kitty, and your story wasn't too long at all. nice pics too. just wondering on any given day, approx. how many farang girls would be going after these thai beach boys? also, would you say that most of the single farang girls, who went to Phangan, were looking for a fling with a thai guy? thanks.

hmmm i have a feeling u've met these boys rjr?

Ok, i was on haad rin hanging out with the bar boys and my girl mates every night for over 2 months.

One bar boy was pulling one or two girls a night, every night. This only changed when it was quiet and no decent girls were about, it would then go to one every other night.

He was the worst i'd met.

The other guys, well, some had girlfriends so were as good as they could be.

Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of really sweet guys, they were a little shy and didnt treat girls bad,they tended to just be friends with them.

The worst boys are definatly at The Drop In bar though<_<

Being honest they hooked me in, i got sucked in and thought I could change my ex etc, I've woken up and realised this will never happen, in fact i'm ashamed i ever went near these guys. My ex has since been with two or three girls more seriously and shagged a bloody lot of girls, i've only been gone 3 months

To some of these boys you mean nothing to them, they will feed you all the lines but at the end of the day another girl will come along tommorrow.

My friend went back out there a month ago and had extended her stay and dumped her boyfr to be with one of these boys. She is luckier as her fella is one of the nicer ones and is treating her well, although a few days after she leaves he will no doubt be shagging around again.

The other boys? well at the moment alot of the girlfriends are back and they have settled a bit more, but unless you get them away from the bar and make them love you for you and not your money then they wont change.

Rjr: have you been out with one of these boys?

I know the guy i was seeing was renown for having an amazing amount of girlfriends, literally every girl on the island had gone out with him.

And as sad as it sounds when i return i wish i could be the one he falls for,properly, but i know this is not me wanting to be with him, this is me wanting him to replace the confidence he took from me.

See now this is long!

p.s to answer your question...on average with my man i'd say at least 10-15 girls a night would blatently come onto him.(and these were mostly the most stunning swedish girl )and it was the most blatent attempts to get him into bed.

obviously though on full moon he'd get 20 times this amount.

[sbk]

Don't feel too bad kitty, you aren't alone in your mistakes. Too many girls to count fall for these guys, you have to remember they have alot of experience pretending to be smooth and charming.

I must say, I do take exception to calling these guys "island boys" when the large majority of men on my island are decent guys. To be honest, most of these guys working the bars aren't even local (Nakhon Si Thammarat is a major supplier for some odd reason). I prefer to call them beach bar boys. Or just beach boys. I married an island guy and he is as far removed from these boys as could possibly be.

So, take heart, it is possible to meet a nice Thai guy on an island (and even very rarely in Haad Rin) , just avoid the ones working in the bars!

[kitty]

Cheers sbk.

yep that place near surrathani is definatly a supplier for these boys!LOL

that's where nicky is from!

I'm not cut up about it now, now im back in reality i realise it for what it was......... a fling.

As much as i'd like to that's why i know i can't live there(i previously planned to go back to stay)

as it's such a small place etc that i allow things which i'd never allow here.

From now on it's just holidays to haad rin

im back over in april time, be cool to meet up for a drink if your about.

[Dr. Jekyll]

I must say, I do take exception to calling these guys "island boys" when the large majority of men on my island are decent guys.

Worth repeating, Sbk.

Differences breed prejudices

[sbk]

PM me before you come Kitty, I often go back to visit my parents round about then, but it all depends on how things work out (what a typically local answer, maybe yes, maybe no ). Anyway, I'd love to meet up next year when you come out (just make sure to leave the Nakhon boys in Hadrin! )

[kitty]

LOL!

i wont be going near them again

tell u what while im there u can be my mentor

"stay away from the nasty boys kitty,stay away"

[rjr]

thanks for your responses, sbk & Kitty. as for me, my last trip to thailand was a few months ago and was strictly for business, i stayed only in Bangkok for a few days, i didn't get a chance to go to the islands. i definitely will go island hopping, on my next trip though. (lol) Kitty one thing i found interesting from your response, is the general idea, that on Haadrin, there seems to be more farang girls than thai guys. is this really the case there? your ex Nickey, got hit on, from at least 10-15 farang girls per night - is this because he is so much more handsome, than the other thai guys. or is it because farang girls outnumbered the thai guys, there? i would guess, that a lot of thai guys would go there, mainly for the sex with farang girls. sbk, in the motel that your in-laws own - is it common for farang girls to bring thai guys back to their rooms? that's all for now, thanks.

[sbk]

Nope, not at all, in fact, never has a customer brought back a Thai guy. That said, all these guys in Haadrin actually work there (in the bars) and so usually have their own rooms/houses to stay in.

The FMP can get upward of 10,000 people (in high season try 30,000). So, yeah, the farang girls definitely outnumber the Thai guys. I doubt very much that Thai men come to the island to find a girl, it just happens that way. Also must point out that there are enough single farang guys as well that it isn't necessary to go home alone after the party

[kitty]

rjr: i spent 7 weeks with nicky and most of that time he stayed with me at my hotel room, plus my friends that were seeing thai men had them staying with them.

Nicky was a good looking guy but then sharky is pretty ###### ugly and he sometimes pulled more girls then anyone.!

rjr, are you going over for a bit of "fun" then?

if its kept as a short stay and fun its a good laugh(use protection!)but don't over stay or fall for these guys.

for the first 3 weeks i was in control and just haing fun but after 4 weeks it was getting more serious, so definatly keep things fun

By the way, to let you know how bad these boys are :

i go on another web site and 26 replies have come through when i asked if anyone knew nicky and sharky etc....all from girls saying they been with them and one girl who's engaged to a guy called banks has just found out through these girls exactly how many woman her man is shagging while she's in sweden.(she's had his baby and sends him money and clothes )

my best advice? try koh phi phi, the islands got some tasty boys and yes they play around but they dont go slashing peoples throats or beating girls up

[rjr]

yes, i'm thinking of going to the islands for some 'fun'. but don't worry about me, i know when i'm in a fling and i don't fall in love easily. Koh Pi Pi too ?! are there are a lot of farang girls, on all of the islands, looking for a fling with a thai guy? Kitty, can i have the address of that web site, you were talking about? thanks.

[meadish_sweetball]

There are lots of farang (girls and boys) on 'most all of the islands, Koh Phi Phi is totally bonkers. Feels a lot more like Ios, Greece when I first went there 12 years ago, than it does to Lanta, or even Samui a decade ago. But maybe I was just blind at the time.

It's amazing though, isn't it, the cross-cultural thrill. So many of us want to know what it is like... men and women, Thai and farang alike.

[kitty]

yes, i'm thinking of going to the islands for some 'fun'.  but don't worry about me, i know when i'm in a fling and i don't fall in love easily.                                        Koh Pi Pi too ?!  are there are a lot of farang girls, on all of the islands, looking for a fling with a thai guy?                              Kitty, can i have the address of that web site, you were talking about?  thanks.

for quality of men i'd say phi phi is better.

rjr: just type in phangan is the search and it'll come up,unfortunatly im at work and dont know the web address off hand.

I do hope after what i've said about the guy i was with that you don't go after him now,lol. I've met a few girls that have done that and it's pretty nasty behaviour to stab people in the back.

i'm just intreged why your searching for these particular island boys?

why think about it,why not go on your trip for you and if you pull it's a bonus.

I find it odd that you seem to be "hunting" these men down so to speak.

Are you after violent men who treat people like shit.

I honestly do find it really odd the way your so interested in them.

[JemJem]

An amazing amount of sex must be taking place on these islands, according to what Kitty and others have written here ! I hope people are having safe sex all the time but I am afraid this is not always the case...with the heat, the loud music, partying, being in 'holiday mode', the carefree atmosphere and all the booze, I am sure there have been many times people neglected the use of a condom. Quite sad !

Sometimes when I think of sex, it seems so yucky.....the sexual organs and other parts of the body coming into contact with each other, with all the fluids and possible viruses, bacteria, etc. Yuck ! I, myself, would always prefer a good night out, going boozing and 'people-watching', and having some nice, friendly conversation, albeit drunken one

But then again, to each, his/her own.

Cheers,

Jem

[kitty]

I agree.

I went to thailand to see a different culture, to experiance independance and to have fun and meet new people, anything else was a bonus.

People watching is soooo funny too,lol.

I only knew one thai man out of the group who would always use a condom,he was the most intelligent one too,lol.

He always preached to the others about it.

To think most these boys have been there a year or so,they've proberly shagged about 200 girls each and most don't use protection,so................yes,yuk!

[sbk]

Well, yes, Jemjem, there is an incredible amount of sex going on, and, like you, I suspect most of it is not safe sex. At least, the people high on drugs on the beach going at it in front of thousands of people are most likely not having safe sex .

And me, I just try really hard not to think about other people, I don't want to ruin it for myself

[daizeez]

anyone have any suggestions on how to tell if your guy is like the ones kitty is describing?

when i read all of this, i get so paranoid. i can say honestly, i haven't seen any signs that my guy could be like this, but sometimes i get really afraid. maybe there's no way to know until i am back in thailand and stay with him everyday.

now, we talk on the phone 2 times every day...he always answers when i call, no matter what time of day, and talks with me as long as i want. he calls me too, every night before he sleeps. i don't send him money...sometimes i send him little things like cd's i've burned, but that's about it. he seems truly genuine in his feelings, respectful, and sweet, not only to me, but to everyone around him(i've gotten to know a few of the tourist friends he's made). plus, when i met him, he didn't speak english very well...he said i was his first farang girlfriend, and it's made him want to learn english(reading and writing as well...he sends me letters in english and thai).

anyhow...just wondering if it's easy to spot these players....

[kitty]

anyone have any suggestions on how to tell if your guy is like the ones kitty is describing? 

when i read all of this, i get so paranoid. i can say honestly, i haven't seen any signs that my guy could be like this, but sometimes i get really afraid. maybe there's no way to know until i am back in thailand and stay with him everyday.

now, we talk on the phone 2 times every day...he always answers when i call, no matter what time of day, and talks with me as long as i want. he calls me too, every night before he sleeps. i don't send him money...sometimes i send him little things like cd's i've burned, but that's about it. he seems truly genuine in his feelings, respectful, and sweet, not only to me, but to everyone around him(i've gotten to know a few of the tourist friends he's made). plus, when i met him, he didn't speak english very well...he said i was his first farang girlfriend, and it's made him want to learn english(reading and writing as well...he sends me letters in english and thai).

anyhow...just wondering if it's easy to spot these players....

Where is your fella from and whats his name? sbk might know him if from koh phangan.

I might even know him(im hoping he's not the same guy i met,lol,that would be odd)

How long were you with him for and when?

Does he work on haad rin in a bar or koh phi phi?

The guys i met only been at the drop inn bar for a year or so.

When they first arrived apperntly they were lovely,nikky(nam)the guy i was with was seeing a girl around august last year she(alana)was his first love and to be honest i thought this guys obsessed with her.

Apparently they dont talk now due to lots of things,she's at uni and has boyfr etc.

I know guys there that love there girlfriends alot but when there girls are away they'll shag whoever they can(to them its "just" sex not love)

If your man is kind to people,not violent and loving to you,has never cheated on you and phones you that much,well...i think you've got a good one.Also for him to phone you every night,well thats soooo sweet....

[daizeez]

I know guys there that love there girlfriends alot but when there girls are away they'll shag whoever they can(to them its "just" sex not love)

If your man is kind to people,not violent and loving to you,has never cheated on you and phones you that much,well...i think you've got a good one.Also for him to phone you every night,well thats soooo sweet....

ah, yes...but how do you know he's cheating on you if you're not there? i think it's a little easier to tell when you are around!

and if the girlfriend is gone for a long time...in a way, i wonder if i could blame him for having a shag or 2? i do think it's true, that there is a difference between 'just sex' and love. i think it's a different story if the guy is cheating on a girl who is there, or with him often.

[Ijustwannateach]

Um, I'm more familiar with the gay scene here, but perhaps I have some good advice which probably applies to all farang-Thai relationships where "dodginess" is suspected.

If you're not sending your Thai guy money and he likes you anyway, that's sweet, but ask yourself (or him!) these questions:

1. HOW does he support himself- if he's running around the beaches and islands all the time, just how does he manage to eat/survive? If he has a REGULAR job where you can see him working, then fair enough. But here are some dodgy answers:

a. "My uncle/brother/sister/aunt/friend sends me money."

b. "I worked really hard in high school and saved up."

c. "I'm good at betting on football."

d. "I get money from the government."

2. Does he go off on sudden trips in Thailand (or elsewhere) with no real explanation? Points to consider:

a. Most "real" Thais who are working get to visit home maybe once or twice a year.

b. Almost no "real" Thais have relatives abroad sponsoring them to live in other countries for a few months.

3. Will he let you see his ATM account balance (why does he *have* an ATM balance, especially if no job?)

4. Will he let you see his email?

If you're only a tourist here on holiday to have fun, then great! Go for it and play with the beach boys, no strings attached. But if you're getting emotionally involved, better check the above, put a damper on your feelings, or get out of play. Seriously.

"Steven"

[sbk]

To be fair, Ijustwannateach, most of these boys do have jobs. They work in the bars on the beach and do get paid a wage.

I think it is possible to have a real relationship with a Thai guy (since I have one myself) but I wouldn't necessarily recommend many of the single guys I know. Many Thai men do have difficulties with fidelity. That said, I think it is unrealistic to expect a guy to stay faithful when you only see him once a year. These relationships almost never work out, usually they end when one or the other moves on in their lives.

How to check if your guy is unfaithful? Well, unless you are good friends with someone where he lives (non-thai) then it is unlikely anyone will ever tell you. I think, if he works in someplace really touristy and filled with partyers then the temptation is greater than elsewhere.

[meadish_sweetball]

I would be careful and trust sbk, she really knows what she is talking about here.

My experience of Thai men and their attitude to farang girls is very rarely "I'd like to MARRY a farang girl because they seem so interesting", rather "Oh, you're from Sweden? Sweden girl... FREE SEX, chai mai? Guffaw, giggle, giggle."

Then again, that reaction applies to most Brit, Aussie, Canadian and Yankee boys as well...

----

Then again, there are always exceptions to any rule.

[kitty]

To be fair, Ijustwannateach, most of these boys do have jobs. They work in the bars on the beach and do get paid a wage.

I think it is possible to have a real relationship with a Thai guy (since I have one myself) but I wouldn't necessarily recommend many of the single guys I know. Many Thai men do have difficulties with fidelity. That said, I think it is unrealistic to expect a guy to stay faithful when you only see him once a year. These relationships almost never work out, usually they end when one or the other moves on in their lives.

How to check if your guy is unfaithful? Well, unless you are good friends with someone where he lives (non-thai) then it is unlikely anyone will ever tell you. I think, if he works in someplace really touristy and filled with partyers then the temptation is greater than elsewhere.

Exactly what sbk says.

I would'nt care if nikky used girls for a shag etc,he can tell me,thats fine.

But it would upset me if he got a girlfriend and said things to her that he said to me.

I can happily go off for 10 months and not be with another man but thats how ive always been.

On the beaches in the bars these guys are surrounded by stunning girls,who could blame them if they have fun while your away,i know id find it hard if i was surrounded by stunning men mixed with drink,haha.(no fit men where i live).

As long as when your back they dont stray and treat you how you deserve to be treated then have fun

[daizeez]

1. HOW does he support himself- if he's running around the beaches and islands all the time, just how does he manage to eat/survive? If he has a REGULAR job where you can see him working, then fair enough. But here are some dodgy answers:

a. "My uncle/brother/sister/aunt/friend sends me money."

b. "I worked really hard in high school and saved up."

c. "I'm good at betting on football."

d. "I get money from the government."

2. Does he go off on sudden trips in Thailand (or elsewhere) with no real explanation? Points to consider:

a. Most "real" Thais who are working get to visit home maybe once or twice a year.

b. Almost no "real" Thais have relatives abroad sponsoring them to live in other countries for a few months.

3. Will he let you see his ATM account balance (why does he *have* an ATM balance, especially if no job?)

4. Will he let you see his email?

actually, none of these things apply to him. i know how he makes his money because i hear him talking w/ and taking orders from people at his bungalow. he doesn't have much money, tho, that's for sure. he rarely goes back to surat to visit his family, and i know where he is practically every minute of every day. he gave me his email password so i could help him send emails to some friends when he is too lazy to go to the internet cafe (plus, he said i can 'check up on him' by asking his tourist friends what he's up to when i'm not there ) he really wants me to know he's not fooling around while i'm gone.

[kitty]

He sounds amazing for a thai guy.

I think u've got yourself a godd'en

[Ijustwannateach]

Daizeez, you may have found a gem, and hope you have- but the odds against finding a decent (monogamous, honest, sincere) single young Thai guy (gay or straight) who's associated with the tourist scene are pretty slim, especially if he speaks any English. The number of "kept" guys I've met juggling vacationing partners is pretty high, and without constant observation it's pretty easy for them to keep each one as fooled as they'd like to be.

Kitty, you seem a bit conflicted- your guy is welcome to "shag" other girls as long as he doesn't whisper sweet nothings to them? How exactly is it that you think he manages to get them "shagging?" What was it that he did or said to convince you- and if it worked on you do you think that would make him decide to stop doing it next time he met someone?

Perhaps this isn't the kind of thing that occasional tourists want to hear about Thailand- but if sincerity is really that important to you, the tourist scene here isn't the place for it. I think it'd be easier to convince yourself to accept that and live with it, or to give up the tourist side of the scene here, than to find a "noble" young Thai man willing to date you a few months out of the year. In any case, explanations and odds never convince anyone. It's a rite of passage here to discover that your first sweetie (who is of course very insistent that you stay faithful to him) has 8 other partners financing him from abroad and somehow forgot to tell you. Until you've had that experience yourself, nothing anyone else tells you will shake your faith. I wasn't any savvier about it myself until it happened to me.

"Steven"

[kitty]

I totally agree with you.

I do know some thai boys who don't get anything from ex partners, and in fact don't even contact people he's been with. But the majority of thai men from tourist areas are all the same.

I'm fully aware what nikky is like, i even told him i knew what he was like on the first night i met him, he of course got upset and told me i was wrong(now ive had 2 jerks for ex's so i can spot em!)

He didnt exactly whisper sweet nothings,just said he hates me cause i made him love me and he didnt want to love anyone ,nice eh...lol.

I never believed he loved me and still don't,he liked me alot yes, i was the 1st girl he spent more then a month with.

I didnt mean to sound contradicting.

He can shag people,fine...but it would hurt a little to know he'd fallen for someone.

However the more im home the more i realise i don't even like him that much,my prides just been hurt,lol.

So yes these island people play people for money and sex, as long as your aware of this then do whatever you feel right. The guys will deny having other girls on the go but i guarentee "most" have(ones in bars etc),i spent 2 motnhs alongside these boys,literally spending all day and night with them,so i got a scary insite into how bad they were.