Island Boys

[rjr]

to answer your question Kitty, i'm not hunting for these beachbar boys. i just want to be informed and prepare myself a little, when i do go to the islands. i did a search on the word phangan, and way too many sites came up. so can you please give me the exact address of the website you were talking about earlier. also, what did these beachbar boys do, when they're not working at the bars. did farang girls went after them even when they wern't working at the bars?

[kitty]

The boys work long hours:

3pm-7pm

then

9pm-6am

every single day,so when there not working there sleeping or eating.

Other then that there smoking pot,drinking,breakdancing or shagging.

I suppose it's like hanging out with ur mates all the time, just getting upto mischieve.

They also play with fire,this is what attracts the girls,its not really so much bar boys,more "fire boys"

These boys seriously get 10-15 woman approaching them while there spinning fire.

And its no doubt really even the ugly ones look fit while doing this,lol.

Take them away from the fire and the bar?and no, i doubt woman would fancy them as much,its a novalty thing.

Ill post the web addy when im on my home computer as im on the work one at the moment and its not stored here.

[Ijustwannateach]

Kitty, good to know you're in it with eyes wide open. Good luck!

"Steven"

[kitty]

Kitty, good to know you're in it with eyes wide open. Good luck!

"Steven"

My eyes are WIDE open steven ,lol.

I also know i don't even really like him,i know why i want him and that if he moved away for me i'd lose interest but i still have a little bit off an urge there,but these are my problems,lol....as i know what will happen in the end...hurt.

also when i go back ill have me girls around and im travelling round again so only be on haad rin for 1 or 2 weeks so won't care too much.

Its different when your there for longer as you want more respect etc.

Do you mind me asking what happened to you?

[sbk]

Kitty is spot on, the boys who pull the most girls are, as I have said before, beach boys working in bars. Normal guys will still get girls who are interested in them, but usually in a much less predatory way (sorry girls, but that is what these girls act like!). And, to be totally honest, 90% of these "beach bar boys" are NOT from the island, are not from any island! They are from the mainland and come here with their eye on the main chance (like any guy I guess ). DO NOT confuse them with local people. These boys have as much to do with the local community as any tourist who comes and stays a month or so. They know the shopkeepers and a few of the taxi drivers but that is about it.

And what kitty means by 'fire boys'; they are juggling fire sticks etc on the beach as entertainment. My favorite one is the flaming hoop they jump through. Needless to say, drunken farang tourists see them do it and think it's easy. Jump through and either land on it or catch something on fire (hair, shirt whatever). Absolute stupidity.

And as far as Kitty saying she doesn't mind the shagging, well, I see her point. I think most guys think in a different way than girls. I would be upset by the cheating, of course, but that would be alot less painful to me than an emotional attachment (which would mean an unattachment to me, if you see my point).

[seonai]

Hi Girls, I'm new to the forum but just wanted to add a little. I'm married to an "island guy" and very happy with it too.The only hassle actually is having to earn money on the mainland. But yes, our relationship is not about money either. We genuinly have a good thing together.

One thing I'm really sick of though is the mentality of lots of farang tourists who want to 'try' sex with a Thai guy and blatantly flirt with everyone throwing their boobs around etc. I know some Thai guys aren't perfect but this just makes them think farang women are so easy. You should hear some of the stories I hear from the Thai men on the island!!!

On another note, I'd love to communicate with any women out there in the same boat!!

[Boo]

I have had tourist girls blatently come on to my husband when we have been sitting together & one night he was jamming in a bar with some friends & I came to find him from another bar as I had broken my shoes & wanted to nick his flip flops to ride home in. As I walked in he introduced me to the whole whole bar as his wife & about a minute after that a couple of farang girls came up & started gyrating in front of his mike stand, one of them even using it as a pole!! I just laughed & left him to it, I trust him enough not to go off with these girls & besides they are on holiday & probably can't comprehend that people CAN maintain faithful relationships in enviroments like that. Trust me, I love my hubbs but he's no Denzel Washington in the looks department but to them he's a thai guy, quite good looking & must be up for a shag, what they don't realise is that he married to a 6ft Englsih bird who can be quite scary but if they are persistant enough, they soon find out

[IamMaiC]

big difference in thai and farang men in the loving department??

[meadish_sweetball]

big difference in thai and farang men in the loving department??

The million dollar question !

I think that has already been discussed in some other thread, resulting in the answer that the difference is much more indidividual than ethnic, as with girls of course. That is my personal exp. anyway, but it'd be interesting to hear more views on the subject.

[kitty]

Hi Girls, I'm new to the forum but just wanted to add a little. I'm married to an "island guy" and very happy with it too.The only hassle actually is having to earn money on the mainland. But yes, our relationship is not about money either. We genuinly have a good thing together.

One thing I'm really sick of though is the mentality of lots of farang tourists who want to 'try' sex with a Thai guy and blatantly flirt with everyone throwing their boobs around etc. I know some Thai guys aren't perfect but this just makes them think farang women are so easy. You should hear some of the stories I hear from the Thai men on the island!!!

On another note, I'd love to communicate with any women out there in the same boat!!

Hello

nice to hear your relationship is working.

Theres a phangan website where this kind of dicussions going on and some girls on there are being blind.

When i said about this, i.e girls blatently flirting knowing ur with that man(or not) and making fools of themselves just to shag a thai man,bar boy/bad boy/fire boy, these girls said thats ridiculous,lol.

App why would anyone o for a man just for looks,how shallow,lol.

They obviously didnt stay on phangan very long

Its a breath of fresh air to come on here

You ladies can have a dicussion,feel for the girls who fell for the wrong thai boys and give good advice. You don't slate people for how they feel and dont like the slappers,hehe(the girls on the other one up the slappers )

Thankyou ladies

[IamMaiC]

big difference in thai and farang men in the loving department??

The million dollar question !

I think that has already been discussed in some other thread, resulting in the answer that the difference is much more indidividual than ethnic, as with girls of course. That is my personal exp. anyway, but it'd be interesting to hear more views on the subject.

when do i get my million dollars?? ohh by the way i'm a man if you were wondering i just wanted to know how farang girls felt about thai men on that issue.

I'm mixed blood Thai and Farang I live in the states don't see many thai man and farang girl relationships over here i see the farang man and the thai girl relationship more.

I was almost involved with a american girl but she had a BF actually someone i grew up with he was vietnamese and american she told me once she liked that type of man she said exotic features, she worked at a go-go bar in the states i use to go to. she was the bartender.

well i never thought of myself as too partically good looking but according to her she said i had that exotic look also this was my first experience seeing a american girl with an asian man

[seville]

Hey Kitty,

What's the website you keep talking about? The only other one I know about is the Kohphangan.com

[rjr]

yeah Kitty, i'd love to know that website too. thanks.

[Ijustwannateach]

And photos! How about some photos!

[pop3]

If you remove there's still the scar, people get bored with their tatoo as the year's go by, Don't forget a tatoo on the breast of a young woman become's a tatoo on the belly of an old one !

[rjr]

in reply to meadish_sweetball, about the difference between farang and asian men in the lovemaking dept. i have travelled to many places in SE Asia, on business and have sampled some of the local studs. i agree, the difference is mainly personal and not ethnic. however, generally speaking, the asian guys that i have beded, all had one thing in common, and that is, lots and lots of enthusiasm, in bed. this is perhaps because there aren't many farang women in se asia, and getting one into bed is somewhat special for them. believe me, all of my asian guys and i did it well into the night ! also, most of them were genuinely concerened about my pleasure, and not only theirs'. physique wise, my asian guys were slim and well toned. that's all for now. i'd love to hear from other farang girls, on this topic.

[Khun Larry]

Cleo Odzer gave the “Samet boys” a special mention (and praised them) in Patpong Sisters

FYI Cleo Odzer passed away several years ago in NYC of Aids.

[rjr]

yes, i'm well aware of aids. so it's safe sex or no sex for me.

[yasamira]

Hi Ladies:

I'm new to this forum. I posted my story at the website that the other poster was talking about. Since you were asking, the website that the other forum is at is: www.phangan.info but it's down for the moment and I'm not certain how soon it will be back up.

Anyway, here's my story.

I went to Koh Phangan in October, 2002. I spent about 3 months there. While I was there, I was "on the pull" as you Brits say. I pulled English, Australian, American, Israeli and, finally, Thai. You see, by the time my 2nd FMP came around, I felt I had been there forever (because so many new people showed up constantly!) and I was seriously tired of having the same gdamn conversation every gdamn day. "So, where are you from? Wanna go out to the Drop Inn Bar tonight?"

So I started learning Thai and talking to the "locals", which I now know are no more "local" than the tourists. Honestly, if I had been able to find forums like this one before I went, or even WHILE I was there, I wouldn't have been such a fool.

So I meet a Thai guy in early November. Tattoos, chin piercing, purple mohawk, motorcycle, the works. We had sex, developed a 'relationship' that entailed my giving him money (at first just for food, later it became 20,000 baht to 'fix his motorcycle') and him lying to me. Turns out he took the money and bought a gun. I actually SAW the gun on his bed when I was dropping off his stuff when we 'broke up'. BTW, we broke up because, on FMP night, I caught him kissing another girl. Twice. Whatever, I was stupid. So stupid. I mean, I saw him working, and Thais work so hard for so little that I just wanted to help him out. But I was naive for sure.

I immediately sought solace in the arms of a Drop Inn Bar guy that I thought I had to come to know a little bit over the course of my going to the bar 5 times a week for 4 weeks. He gave me a rose. He didn't have a gun. I fell in luuuuv.

So. We started having sex regularly. I thought I checked him out enough. I borrowed a pair of binoculars from my father (who was in Thailand for a month to visit me) and crept around to the boulders on the end of the beach one night. I spied on the Drop Inn Bar guy to see if he was flirting with anyone. He wasn't. Later, I even asked around but no one told me anything about him. I would also show up at odd hours of the night, and creep around the outside of the crowd to see if he was chatting up other girls. He never was. So I thought I had found true love.

Ugh. What he did NOT tell me was that he:

had a 7-months pregnant girlfriend (!!!!!) that I never saw because she would only come around during the early evenings and I would only show up later at night (when she was sleeping. I'm sure he planned it that way because he had use of a room on the upper floor of the bar where he later told me that he took many, many, many Farang girls to have 5-minute sex with them.) Oh yes, the sex wasn't even that good.

He first said "What girlfriend?" when I confronted him about it. He asked me, "Who told you that?!!!" He later admitted to being the father of the child, but said he "loved" ME (of course!) and that he didn't want to marry her and just wanted to be a 'good dad' and not a 'bad guy'. He was lying to me. To my face. You know, being honest myself, I just assume that other people are being honest too.

Oh yeah, he was from Nakhon Si Thammarat too - one of you women mentioned that town.

I got pregnant at Christmas. God, I was so dumb. Not using a condom because he told me I was his first Farang girlfriend. I want to go back in time and just slap myself silly! My big plan was to live in Thailand, marry this guy, teach English. Well, I spent $10,000 (which is something like 6000 pounds sterling) on furnishing a house in Nakhon. I bought us a motorcycle. He started spending nights away and his excuses got flimsier & flimsier.

I bolted. Had an abortion in the States. Left all the furnishings, everything, for his family. By this time his Thai girlfriend had the baby - a girl.

He emailed, called me, crying, wanted me back, begged me to come back. So after 2 weeks back in the States, I flew back to Thailand for another go round. I was in luuuuuv.

Just after I got there, within a day or two, his girlfriend called (on the cell phone I bought of course) and he actually handed me the phone. She said, "HE'S LYING TO YOU" and I just shrugged and handed him the phone back. I wasn't ready to hear it.

Funny, but we visited Ko Samet - one of the islands you ladies were talking about as having more than it's share of Farang women with Thai boyfriends.

While we were traveling, many many items were "lost" and I replaced them. A necklace ($400), digital camera ($175), a cell phone ($100), etc. I think that he was pawning them because I found a pawn slip for a ring I had paid for that he said he had 'left at home'. (He had pawned it to pay for his trip to come meet me, even though I had wired him over $300 to do just that.)

The final straw just came one night when he left me at his family's house to go drinking and I had finally learned enough Thai to talk to his mother. I found out he had lied to me about his age. Of course, by then I knew that he had lied about some things but when he came back I asked him about his age. I told him that his mom had said he was 22, but he said that he was 24. I said that I could read his ID and IT said he was 22. He still insisted that he was 24. INSISTED. I pulled his mom out of bed and there was a scene. That's when I finally knew, finally, that he could lie to my face and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I would never be able to trust him. I would never understand Thai culture or language enough to trust him because he was inherently un-trustable to me.

So I left. I ignored his plaintive emails. I am poorer, wiser and sadder for the experience. Much wiser. So I share my experience here and hope that someone may benefit from it. I wish I had read something like this 2 years ago.

Don't even get me started on the Thai mafia on Koh Phangan.....

[sbk]

Frankly it sounds like you were a disaster waiting to happen and it just so happened that it found you. I have the feeling you would have had similarly disastrous relationships at home even if you had never met this guy. I think women (myself included) tend to put up with BS from guys because we don't want to be alone. My ex-boyfriend (not Thai) taught me one very valuable lesson: that I didn't need him or any man to make me a whole person and that I could live very well without one. Once I gained enough confidence and self-respect I began to attract men who would treat me decently (it's kind of hard to attract men who treat you well when you don't even treat yourself well).

Sorry you had such a hard time, but like my mom has always said, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger".

As for mafia on Koh Phangan, you have made the same error most tourists who spend the bulk of their time in Hadrin do; Hadrin is not Koh Phangan. What goes on in Hadrin does not mirror the rest of the island.

[kat]

Frankly it sounds like you were a disaster waiting to happen and it just so happened that it found you. I have the feeling you would have had similarly disastrous relationships at home even if you had never met this guy. I think women (myself included) tend to put up with BS from guys because we don't want to be alone. My ex-boyfriend (not Thai) taught me one very valuable lesson: that I didn't need him or any man to make me a whole person and that I could live very well without one. Once I gained enough confidence and self-respect I began to attract men who would treat me decently (it's kind of hard to attract men who treat you well when you don't even treat yourself well).

Sorry you had such a hard time, but like my mom has always said, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger".

As for mafia on Koh Phangan, you have made the same error most tourists who spend the bulk of their time in Hadrin do; Hadrin is not Koh Phangan. What goes on in Hadrin does not mirror the rest of the island.

SBK you're the best! I hope you're around whenever I get into one of my scrapes again with the regional men. Actually I'm just back from one in Malaysia, but now they last 3 days as opposed to 3 months!

Yasamira, I'm sorry to hear about your travails. I've had my run-ins for sure, but I have a goldern rule: I never, ever, give money away to men, EVEEER! I can usually tell right away when I maybe buy them dinner or a drink, if they become lazy and start expecting me to pay for everything, then it is bye-bye.

Unfortunately, for that and other reasons, it has always been BYE-BYE in these parts. I understand SBK's arguments completely about meeting and choosing the right men, but to be h onest, I've chosen a couple that should have been right and they were not.

Where or how the ###### does a foreign woman meet the "right" men here that are not married or also have their assorted problems?

[kat]

By the way, the ##### above was a minor expletive, not a sarcastic one. It was a genuine question.

[sbk]

Kat, it's the same @#!$%& question my sister asks every time she goes out, and she's in the US! I think it is just hard to meet a guy who is the right fit. In the west we tend to have this feeling that the "right one will come along" and hopefully he does. I personally think it's a matter of kissing enough frogs until you find your prince

I got lucky, I met mine when I was 23, but it could have just as easily turned out differently. I could have walked away instead of allowing it to become serious. I hadn't planned on getting married until I was 30 (gonna go get my masters, travel a bit, then look for the right job), funny how plans change when you let them.

And as for my mom's advice, it has always worked for me. I just grit my teeth and remember it is making me a strong person.

[yasamira]

A few more things that I just need to get out of my system. It's great that you ladies know exactly what I'm talking about because no one here in Seattle has a clue.

SBK, you are right. I meant to say, "The mafia on Had Rin". The rest of Koh Phangan was delightful, especially the 2 weeks I spent in Thong Nai Pan.

The mafia was the scariest thing I ever heard of. There are some guys that you can see driving around and they just LOOK mean as sh*t. I heard that Paradise is run by a mafia 'king pin', but I don't know how much stock to put into that. They run the drugs, the guns, everything.

The mohawk guy was "Top".

The bar boys make about 500 baht/night. But that includes all the booze they can drink.

All the bars siphon inferior booze into different bottles. The Drop Inn Bar guy told me (for once I didn't suspect him of lying) that sometimes a Farang guy would ask for booze by name ("gimme a jim beam!") and then sip it appreciatively and all the while the bar guy knew that it was the same stupid rotgut whisky in ALL of the bottles. Smiling on the inside, you know.

It's no wonder there are so many fights. Here are the "Bar Boys", working their ass*s off, night & day, for a pittance and here are the Farang guys, same age, with money to burn and partying like crazy. You have 23 year olds being served by 23 year olds and the only difference is by virtue of birthplace.

One thing I forgot to mention. My Thai boyfriend was constantly paranoid about someone coming to get him. He thought (or maybe knew) that his girlfriend had protectors on KP that were out to get him and drag him back home to be with her. So wherever we went he was trying to be on the down low. Told me not to tell anyone that I met him on KP, or that he was from Nakhon. It was very tiring. He was convinced that wherever we went the bar boys, bar owners and shop keepers would have connections to KP (even on Phi Phi, Samet & Lanta) and 'word' would get back to KP and then someone would come & hurt him. It added a dimension to travel let me tell you.

One of the women here in this forum owns a lodge on KP and said that no Farang women had ever brought 'home' a Thai guy. Well, they creep in at night and creep out at dawn to go work or go home to their girlfriends. Both of the Thai guys that spent nights in my bungalow absolutely refused, put their little splayed toe-d feet down, to be my guest in the lodge restaurant. They further refused to be seen with me on the beach, eating in restaurants around town or anything other than out at night. They didn't want to hold hands in public. (sigh) But I was enamored. I thought Farang girls on the back of Thai guys' motorcycles looked so COOL.

Oh boy, things are coming back to me now. Like how the Drop Inn Bar guy would chat me up, then tell me to "go upstairs" and he would meet me in 5 mins. This was so he wouldn't be seen going to shag someone. Or how, if we were going back to my bungalow, he would start walking and I was supposed to catch up to him. What made me so gdamn desperate? I don't know. Lonely I guess. Bored. More money than brains at the time.

Can I just say that, as we all know, drugs are prevalent on Had Rin and the places (bars, restaurants) that sell drugs pay off the police to look the other way? Thank you.

I'm not as dumb as a post. I mean, there were extenuating circumstances for a lot of my actions. For example, the mohawk guy - he took me to his home in Tong Sala and I met his family. The next week, his mom died. I went to the funeral, saw his family there, saw his mom in the casket as it was being carefully put into the furnace. A couple of days later we were riding on the motorcycle and went over a bump and the bike broke. He told me it was because of the extra weight (me). So I gave him money to repair it - I didn't know that repairs don't cost 20,000 baht but guns sure do! Two days later, FMP night, I saw him kissing another girl and confronted him. When I returned his stuff the next day I just ducked into his room to put it on the bed and there was the gun. That, plus the stories about the mafia, scared me to death.

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. When I returned to Thailand, and was traveling with the Drop Inn Bar guy, my father also came back to Thailand for a month. He wanted to go back to Had Rin, not during FMP time, just to stay in the lodge there and enjoy the beach. So I met him there and cut the Drop Inn Bar guy loose for about 10 days. While I was there he kept calling me to "warn" me about "guys" on the beach. He kept saying that it wasn't safe for me anywhere on the beach because I had 'stolen' him from his pregnant girlfriend and she had powerful friends who wanted to get at him through me. Or just get me. It was very scary as I soon saw the people he was describing. I even talked to one of them, a woman who was pregnant with another Thai guy's baby. She was from Scandinavia somewhere and she was the Drop Inn Bar guy's girlfriend's friend. She laid it out straight for me - that the Drop Inn Bar guy was just with me for the money. Plain & simple. She didn't like me, and didn't want to be talking to me but it was a conversation that I needed to hear. SHE (the Scandinavian woman) told me that the Drop Inn Bar guy was lying to me - that he really loved his girlfriend and that they were going to be married (until I came along). He had told me that he didn't want to marry his "baby's mother". The girlfriend looked at it differently - apparently he was telling her that he was with me for the money for their baby. The whole situation started feeling like a soap opera and I just wanted OUT.

Oh yes, I had breast cancer the last year, probably triggered by the pregnancy hormones. So I guess I got punished enough.

[sbk]

Yasamira, sorry if I sounded hard, but sometimes life is like that, the best thing for you is to have learned from a painful lesson. the saddest thing is to see people get hurt over and over again and never learn.

I would hardly think you needed to be punished for being foolish and lonely. You are hardly the first woman to do stupid things for a guy and you certainly won't be the last.

As for being worried someone was out to "get" him, well, stuff happens here that shock most people. Guns are common as are revenge killings. Girls do have fathers, brothers, and uncles who might (might not too) take very unkindly to a man who abuses their daughter/sister/niece. Probably not so paranoid as just being cautious. Can't really fault the man for looking over his shoulder when he is screwing so many people over.

As for Paradise bungalows, well, I know the family that owns that place very very well and unless it is their manager you have just been fed another pack of lies. Alot of these guys like to spread stories around to make themselves appear to be 'big men', the truly scary guys on this island are not the bar boys in Hadrin. They are the ones who appear to be quiet and nice. These are the real killers, not posturing boys working in bars.

[JemJem]

Gees.......assuming that all that has been written here is true (and I believe that the posters in this thread have probably been sincere/honest), there seems to be so much drama going on in some island resorts (notably KP's Hadrin area) regarding farang women-Thai men relationships.

I hope some of the stuff that has been written here will help prevent at least some of the newbie farang girls getting into financial/physical/emotional troubles.

Cheers,

Jem

[kitty]

It is truely awful to hear these stories,the ones on here and the other forum, and as some of you know my story too.

Good has come out of it though, i do believe now that girls who dont mind being used or want to use the boys on kp for fun will and they'll enjoy every minute and the girls looking for something more will read this and know that certain boys on there are not even worth there time.

Me personally? well... i'll admit i was going back for some "fun" with the guy i met in april but now...NOT A CHANCE

From stories, what friends have said and my own experiences these "certain"guys are definatly not worth anybodys time..

It's all about learning and moving on

p.s Or let's hope we meet a fella as nice as sbk's man

[rjr]

yasamira, sad to hear about your situation. hope everything works out for you. now i've had a few flings, before in my life. i always go into it with the mindset, that it's only a fling and nothing more than that. have fun and enjoy him, but never allow it, to go beyond a fling. always keep in the back of your mind, that you will never see eachother in a few days or week. it may sound cold and unemotional, but i've never been emotionally hurt, using this method. hope i've been a bit of help for any girls, going into a fling with a thai guy.

[seonai]

Hi D,

Thanks for writing. Well I had had a few encounters with thai men before meeting my husband on an island so I knew about them a bit. We've been together a year now and everythings seems pretty much fine. I made it very clear from the beginning that I would not tolerate infidelity and he agrred. I worried myself sick about it because I didn't want to be hurt - like us all - but then I felt I was being silly so now I try to just relax and believe in him.

The big thing for me is when women come to our bar and flirt with him, He giggles and laughs with them just as he does with everyone but I sometimes get upset and then we argue because I have a few too many drinks and acuse him of flirting. But deep down I don't think he do anything to hurt me. I don't pay for him, we share money, we have a house together, I'm close to his family and, very important, we are part of and island community that likes us both very much so there's a support network. We all know each other here and we all know what each other get up to.

My advice is don't be scared of your new relationship. Go ahead with it and see how it goes - you only live once!!! There are many more aspects to living in thailand that will keep you busy once you get over here so feel free to ask away.

Take care too,

Yoyo