Are You Proud To Have A Thai Gf?

[jasreeve17]

it's an unfair World.

...

If both partners are happy, great. Maybe it's that simple.

Sure. But that's the problem - in some cases one cannot help wondering how happy the Thai partner can really be. It's a serious unfairness if all you can expect in terms of happiness in life is a partner from your father or grandfather's generation, with few common interests or shared points of reference, with whom you can communicate at only a very basic level, and who expects you to act as a maid and translator in addition to other much less palatable duties. Happy to have money when that is not easy to come by, yes, but that is a very relative happiness. I am painting the extreme picture but I see these relationships frequently enough to say with confidence that they are not unusual.

One reason this bothers me is because I can see that the promotion of good, useful education for all Thais would often not be in the foreign partner's "interests" (the Thai person would not then need them) and the foreigner knows this and will even sometimes express it - sometimes even in the presence of the Thai. . In the Thai partner & in other Thais in the vicinity you can sometimes see or sense the humiliation they are feeling just by virtue of being in a relationship that is obviously based primarily on need.

I really don't think either partner in those relationships is very happy.

A lot of foreigners here have relationships like the one you described above. In which case the Thai needs to decide upon their priorities, and get out of the relationship if they must. It's what being an adult is about.

Many relationships here have two happy parties, for whatever reasons. Good for them.

In both cases it takes two to make a relationship. Both are empowered to either continue the relationship, or stop it. This would have been so since the very first meeting. People always have choices.

[canuckamuck]

If you love the one you’re with. What more is there?

If you are dating someone your ashamed of, you are the loser!

[WaiWai]

In both cases it takes two to make a relationship. Both are empowered to either continue the relationship, or stop it. This would have been so since the very first meeting. People always have choices.

In reality, though, the choices for many young Thais are still very limited. It is by no means a world of equal opportunity when it comes to choices. That is precisely what the Op was highlighting.

[jasreeve17]

In both cases it takes two to make a relationship. Both are empowered to either continue the relationship, or stop it. This would have been so since the very first meeting. People always have choices.

In reality, though, the choices for many young Thais are still very limited. It is by no means a world of equal opportunity when it comes to choices. That is precisely what the Op was highlighting.

OK, I accept that may be true.

But what does it change? People have degrees of choices the World over.

I realise that I'm lucky, being born in London to a middle of the road familly, and have a full range of choices. In global terms, Thais have had a good role of the dice too. I rarely feel sorry for Thais, and I doubt if they'd want me to.

[WaiWai]

I rarely feel sorry for Thais, and I doubt if they'd want me to.

That is not to say they do not wish the situation were otherwise.

Perhaps "feel sad for" is more accurate. Particularly when situations are preventable ( people "selling" themselves or being exploited or abused, disease/injury that could have been avoided or could easily be treated if drugs were affordable etc.) it is natural to feel this way.

We who have more choices shouldn't write the world's unfairness off as "just the way it is", I think. Sometimes life is "unfair" in unavoidable ways, but in many situations there are ways the unfairness could have been prevented.

[AlbertTatlockDeceased]

Feeling a touch self-conscious about publicly advertising being one of the thousands of western men who come here cos they can't get much lovin' at home (whether that's the case or not, we're all by default tarnished with that brush in my eyes), not so much curious, more like aware of what other people might be thinking. Should i give a sh#t what other people think? Many of you obviously don't - great for you.

OK, now I see where you are coming from.

Not a question of not giving a shit what I think, if I didn't give a shit, I wouldn't have wasted my time replying. If you had included the above in the original, then I would have read it differently.

On a similar tack

A friend of mine has a Luk Krung daughter - he is around 50, she being 18, (and stunning to boot) the looks he gets when he goes out in town with her...some of the farang may as well spit on him, thinking he is with a hooker when it is his daughter. Imagine how he feels, a trip to tesco with your kid and you are branded a paedophile in some peoples eyes - it's just stereotypes.

As being tarnished with a brush, do you never think they are just jealous???

Saving up all year for their 2 week vacation in an exotic place, with the fat assed ugly missis and their two spoilt overweight kids, and they get here and see people actually HAPPY, with some beautiful Thai G/F or wife? just enjoying life - because they know that in two weeks they will be back to there dreary existence in their babysitted, politically correct little world far far away from "the obnoxious, ugly farang who cannot score without a banknote round their di??s.

They are probably seething inside and wondering why they didn't come over here, "why did eye marry the bitch" , "I could have had that kind of life" ....wondering what they are doing, slaving every hour to pay the mortgage, put food on the table and keeping up with the Jones's,

I know where I would rather be......

and proud of it!

[sbk]

Or shockingly enough, they may actually be in a committed relationship and love their wives. Seems you are making as many stereotypical assumptions as everyone else.

[Andrew Hicks]

In both cases it takes two to make a relationship. Both are empowered to either continue the relationship, or stop it. This would have been so since the very first meeting. People always have choices.

In reality, though, the choices for many young Thais are still very limited. It is by no means a world of equal opportunity when it comes to choices. That is precisely what the Op was highlighting.

I'm six decades older than I used to be and, on the downward slope, am bound to be a loser. I now have a Thai wife a tad younger than myself but I do not tell myself that I am now a winner. Nor am I much concerned if, when out and about with her, I look like an idiot. It doesn't cross my mind.

What matters to me is that it's going well and I'm happy with it and I've given happiness to others in the process. Leave us to make our own choices and to seek happiness as best we can.

Having said that, when I see some pretty girl on the arm of a fat bellied old farang lard-arse it makes me cringe. How could the pink faced idiot make such a fool of himself. Then I take myself in check and tell myself that if his intentions with this yong lady are long-term and serious, then good luck to him. If he's just a sex tourist, then my first thoughts revive with knobs on.

If I could wipe out all the inequalities in the world I would. But I can't, so I still have a my lovely young wife and companion with me, and long may it last.

[AlbertTatlockDeceased]

Thats because why there are stereotypes, we are all guilty of it sometimes, but it occurs so often here. and often so unfairly.

Granted there are many "genuine" tourists here, but there are a lot that are too ready to pass judgment without knowing the facts - they assume - but I do know for a fact there a few guys for sure that fit the "stereotype" I mentioned.

thanks for the snake info - it was gnu singh, wish I'd known I could have had a barbeque! LOL

[rixalex]

Or shockingly enough, they may actually be in a committed relationship and love their wives. Seems you are making as many stereotypical assumptions as everyone else.

If you read the OP you would see that i was openly admitting to making stereotypical assumptions, and not apologising for it because stereotypes usually exist for a reason.

I maintain, my first thought when i see a farang guy with a Thai girl is sad loser - the same guy is probably thinking the same about me. Maybe if i have the chance to get to know him, i'll revise my opinion. I know it's terribly unPC to admit to making assumptions based on what you see at face value, but if you are honest enough to admit it, we all do it.

[WaiWai]

Or shockingly enough, they may actually be in a committed relationship and love their wives. Seems you are making as many stereotypical assumptions as everyone else.

Took the words right out of my mouth, sbk ! Classic !

If I could wipe out all the inequalities in the world I would. But I can't, so I still have a my lovely young wife and companion with me, and long may it last.

Why don't I find the first statement very convincing ?

[qwertz]

Footnote from a more mature member:

If I were looking for a wife, there are plenty of nice attractive older women in Thailand, just like anywhere else and more than enough of them find me interesting..

Though not a stereotype as described here, let me briefly outline how others see me when I'm there.

Brad Pitt I am not, young I am not, good looking, I think not.

The plus points a woman might see in me - I'm a "doctor", i.e. an academic.

I expect a reasonable pension soon.

I'm modest, polite and I dress appropriately.

I'm single, unattached and a widower.

I'm not fat and I don't drink to excess.

One woman at a time is enough for me.

I don't care a rap what other people think of my choice of female companion.

Why don't I have a Thai wife already?

The simple answer; I would find marrying there just a little too complicated.

I was once married there to a woman 8 years younger and would probably still be had she not died.

But that was long ago, marrying a Thai and staying there was easier then.

If the stay situation eases, I may consider doing it again.

If not - that's life.

But the OP, if he's so interested in judging the activities of others, needs to start taking a less superficial look at people.

[meemiathai]

I rarely feel sorry for Thais, and I doubt if they'd want me to.

That is not to say they do not wish the situation were otherwise.

Perhaps "feel sad for" is more accurate. Particularly when situations are preventable ( people "selling" themselves or being exploited or abused, disease/injury that could have been avoided or could easily be treated if drugs were affordable etc.) it is natural to feel this way.

We who have more choices shouldn't write the world's unfairness off as "just the way it is", I think. Sometimes life is "unfair" in unavoidable ways, but in many situations there are ways the unfairness could have been prevented.

[TommyGun]

Having said that, when I see some pretty girl on the arm of a fat bellied old farang lard-arse it makes me cringe.

Now that was funny.

Like you said the problem is sterotypical, but unfortunately Thailand and similar countries along with the westerner have created it.

What i want to know is this. There are so many Thai ladies, maturer ladies looking for a western man. Why is it that the majority of men choose the younger, hopefully virgin woman.

Today i have been out to the market and saw 3 couple, not one of them were of similar age. Possiblity his daughter, i think not.

[jasreeve17]

I rarely feel sorry for Thais, and I doubt if they'd want me to.

That is not to say they do not wish the situation were otherwise.

Perhaps "feel sad for" is more accurate. Particularly when situations are preventable ( people "selling" themselves or being exploited or abused, disease/injury that could have been avoided or could easily be treated if drugs were affordable etc.) it is natural to feel this way.

We who have more choices shouldn't write the world's unfairness off as "just the way it is", I think. Sometimes life is "unfair" in unavoidable ways, but in many situations there are ways the unfairness could have been prevented.

Cutting my line and taking it out of context is a bit unfair (do you work for Fox news?). But, life is unfair so I won't grumble too much.

I'm more socially concerned than the vast majority of people, thus I fundamentally agree with you. At the same time the Thais are not the people who would be top of my list if I was out to help the World.

I see the sadness, exploitation, abuse, disease, injuries and lack of fairness in Thai society as close to 100% Thai related. The foreign men who have Thai girlfriends, for whatever reason and whatever types of relationships, do not make this situation worse. Indeed, quite the reverse is true.

Thus I think that you are generally well off the mark, whilst agreeing with you that feeling sadness for those less fortunate than ourselves is normal and right.

[bangkoksingapore]

I dont think that these guys are losers. If anything, I feel bad for them. I have some older gentlemen as my friends, and there have been several instances where their younger wifes or girl friends have tried to come on to me or offered themselves to me. Some of you seem to look at the older men as being predators and taking advantage of the younger women, but I think it is actually more likely to be the other way around.

[Cuban]

Interesting thread. My GF considers me a trophy BF. And keeps on trying to show me off to her family and friends.

This is the point, does your partner (GF-BF/Wife/Husband) have pride in you, or are you asked to stay out of sight. Not introduced when caught out and about. Just wheeled out for trips to the shops and the ATM.

[Maxwell Smart]

Proud to have a hot younger thai gf? sure why not. But the OP is correct though that it is damned easy to get one.

[WaiWai]

I see the sadness, exploitation, abuse, disease, injuries and lack of fairness in Thai society as close to 100% Thai related. The foreign men who have Thai girlfriends, for whatever reason and whatever types of relationships, do not make this situation worse. Indeed, quite the reverse is true.

How so ??

[sexy man]

yes i've lived with my thai girl friewnd for over 8 years i'm 65 and she is 46

[siamamerican]

The OP was referring to to Thai/farang relationships as a whole and not on an individual basis. I comprehend his point and also understand we are all individuals. It is a good post and allows individuals to speak their mind.

I have been married to a Thai for 5 years and feel comfortable with how others perceive our relationship. It helps to be about the same age and we are both comparably attractive. I have met many farangs in my same situation that are in bad relationships. Age and beauty aren't the end all. Money, personality, and other characteristics can impact the relationship even more.

As you get older and with any luck wiser, you become less concerned with what others think. For those that are in mutually pleasing relationships with Thia women, congrats. I also don't see anything wrong with Farangs that are dating younger women with no longterm intentions. We are grownups and we run the risk of being hurt.

Posters are bashing the OP for honestly speaking his mind. When I was in my twenties , I had some of the same perceptions. I had little money and I was jealous of older expats with money. We all grow older and so will the OP.

[Naam]

yes i've lived with my thai girl friewnd for over 8 years i'm 65 and she is 46

cradle snatcher!

[WaiWai]

yes i've lived with my thai girl friewnd for over 8 years i'm 65 and she is 46

cradle snatcher!

sexy man !

[rixalex]

The OP was referring to to Thai/farang relationships as a whole and not on an individual basis. I comprehend his point and also understand we are all individuals. It is a good post and allows individuals to speak their mind.

I have been married to a Thai for 5 years and feel comfortable with how others perceive our relationship. It helps to be about the same age and we are both comparably attractive. I have met many farangs in my same situation that are in bad relationships. Age and beauty aren't the end all. Money, personality, and other characteristics can impact the relationship even more.

As you get older and with any luck wiser, you become less concerned with what others think. For those that are in mutually pleasing relationships with Thia women, congrats. I also don't see anything wrong with Farangs that are dating younger women with no longterm intentions. We are grownups and we run the risk of being hurt.

Posters are bashing the OP for honestly speaking his mind. When I was in my twenties , I had some of the same perceptions. I had little money and I was jealous of older expats with money. We all grow older and so will the OP.

Some interesting and well-considered points you make.

Firstly, the post was as you say a generalisation. It was knowingly contentious and not meant to be taken all that seriously.

Secondly, some people seemed to be under the misunderstanding that i was specifically refering to older farang guys with young Thai girls half their age. It wasn't specifically written with them in mind, although obviously it applies to these cases as well.

In short, the point that i was making was that having a Thai gf carries the burden of a stigma (8 years in Thailand has taught me that). It's a stereotype which in many cases may be unfair, but as already stated, exists for a good reason. Although i am mature and wise enough to know the irrationality of judging people on face value, i'm also honest enough to admit that i do it. In the same way as if i met a Thai politician my mind would immediately be drawing certain conclusions, when i meet a farang guy with a Thai gf, my mind would be thinking certain things. In some cases my first impression proves to be wrong, and in others it proves spot on.

Being aware of how i feel about other farang guys with Thai gfs, is what makes me a touch hesitant and reserved about advertising or proudly bringing to the attention of others the nationality of my other half. Not because i think they'll think badly of her, but because of what they may think about me.

For many people their way of dealing with negative labels is to ignore they exist and pay no attention to those who think that way. We're all made differently. For me, although i'm proud of the person my gf is, and am happy knowing we share a healthy and loving relationship, it's my way of dealing with things to keep our relationship a little discreet. That doesn't mean anything extreme like not being seen in public together. All it means is that i don't go out of my way to advertise it. It's true that those who do make me cringe a bit, but of course that's their decision.

[AsiaCheese]

Yes, I'm proud, for the simple reason that she is who she is (as in: a person, and a nice one at that...).

There are often completely different value systems at work here in the "acquisition process" of said gf, some of which might have walking ATM aspects, plus a whole barrel of other things too. But at the same time, don't go comparing across countries, or worse still: countries' mentality differences. Most Western ladies wouldn't want to be caught dead with a guy who's more than 5 years older, while I believe many (not all) ladies here who claim that age isn't an issue (or: a young guy's age might be an issue).

Lots more to be said in that context, but to sum it up: there's a bit more than just black & white to it...

[Wizzard of Oz]

This is a topic I'm pretty interested in.

In the UK, to have a smart, attractive girlfriend is an achievement to be proud of. Other people who see you with such a prize automatically give you respect. It means one or all of these things: you have a good personality, you are good-looking, you have money.

This is a the main issue in itself - be it in thailand or in a phalang country.

I mean, what does it really matter if you are good looking or have a lot of money? It might even be a hinderance in that it would be difficult sometimes to know if someome is with you because she cares about you, or if it is cuz she thinks you are just physically attractive or because you have money. This applies everywhere. The main difference is that in Thailand, people can tell that you are most likely rich just by the colour of your skin (due to exchange rate obv, but they can tell nonetheless)

Sometimes I think it just sux that I am rich here and that I'm really, really ridiculously good looking (they really need derek zoolander emoticon =P)

What's the reaction when you see a farang guy here with a Thai woman? For me my first thought is sad loser. I know i'm being both terribly unfair and hypocritical, but i just can't seem to stop myself. Why do i think like this?

Yeah, I have the same thought. I also felt a bit wied while I was seeing a thai chick (who wasn't dodgy like most thai chicks a phalang will meet). It was like "phalang with thai chick is so dodgy such a massive majority of the time, and no one can possibly know that this isn't one of those situations. Obv nothing I can do short of hanging a sign around my neck lol.

We all know that acquiring a nice gf here for any half respectable farang guy is like shooting fish in a barrel. Many guys here have clearly pulled way out of their league and had their gf been on a trip to the UK (not including bar girls in this statement) or whatever the country, when they met, what are the chances the girl would have chosen them? No, the sad truth is that for many of us, had we stayed in our country of origin, we would either be sad single men with just our right hand for a weekend date, or we'd be lumbered with some over-weight plain Jane or maybe even worse! By coming here we're cheating the natural dating system which keeps a number 4 with his like equivalent.

A number 4 with a number 8 or 9 is going against nature. What have i got against cheating the system? Well nothing i guess, i've cheated too. Am i proud of that? Not at all. It's why i keep my relationship as low profile as possible. Certainly not shouting about it with pride or walking loved up, hand in hand on the street. I've got nothing to be ashamed of in my gf, indeed i can be proud of her. But proud of myself for wooing such a prize. No.

Well, it depends how you value people. Sure it might be easy to meet an insanely hot chick here that is "physically" out of your league, but I put more value on what kind of person they are and their values and how the treat people over how hot they are. Same with the guy in the relationship. I am proud that I strive to be a good person and hope that someone can see that when they decide to be with me. Are your ratings here purely physical?

Are you proud to have a Thai gf?

In the end, I think I would always feel a bit wierd in public, but never so around pepole I know (both thai and phalang) - and they are the people who really matter. So around them, Anyone who I would chosed to be with would be someone important to me, so I would be proud for sure. There are a lot of really great Thai women - just they are much harder to meet for a phalang.

[jubby]

Wow, this thread turned out ok in the end. well done to everyone who replied positively. I was thinking it was going to get nasty , especially with this quote :-

"I am handson young and rich, and I have a Thai wife and 3 kids. We have been maried for 11 years. I find these types of posts very tiring. What are you looking for dude. Its just life. Why don't you get one."

The only person who mentioned he'd been married 11 years and had 3 kids was me; I certainly didn't say I was Hansom or Rich; and as for 'Getting a Life Dude'

next time your in Chiang Rai, look me up and give me some tips on getting one. ;-)

[mikethevigoman]

Are you proud to have a Thai gf?

In the UK, to have a smart, attractive girlfriend is an achievement to be proud of. Other people who see you with such a prize automatically give you respect. It means one or all of these things: you have a good personality, you are good-looking, you have money.

What's the reaction when you see a farang guy here with a Thai woman? For me my first thought is sad loser. I know i'm being both terribly unfair and hypocritical, but i just can't seem to stop myself. Why do i think like this?

We all know that acquiring a nice gf here for any half respectable farang guy is like shooting fish in a barrel. Many guys here have clearly pulled way out of their league and had their gf been on a trip to the UK (not including bar girls in this statement) or whatever the country, when they met, what are the chances the girl would have chosen them? No, the sad truth is that for many of us, had we stayed in our country of origin, we would either be sad single men with just our right hand for a weekend date, or we'd be lumbered with some over-weight plain Jane or maybe even worse! By coming here we're cheating the natural dating system which keeps a number 4 with his like equivalent.

A number 4 with a number 8 or 9 is going against nature. What have i got against cheating the system? Well nothing i guess, i've cheated too. Am i proud of that? Not at all. It's why i keep my relationship as low profile as possible. Certainly not shouting about it with pride or walking loved up, hand in hand on the street. I've got nothing to be ashamed of in my gf, indeed i can be proud of her. But proud of myself for wooing such a prize. No.

Im going to have to be first to say it, TROLL !

[mikethevigoman]

From time to time there are some fairly bigoted and closed minded posts on this forum.

The original post is one of the worst that i have seen in a while.

I am proud of my Thai wife.

I love her, and have travelled all over the world with her.

She has met all of my family, and is accepted as part of the family.

Do you tell your girlfriend that you do not want to be seen in public with her?

How does she react to this?

How can you say that you are proud of her, but will not be seen walking down the street holding her hand.

Yes ,i have to agree, what a tw@t,.

[Pink Mist]

I am proud of my Wife, I love her and she is my best Mate

and She is Thai