Over 50 and Feeling the Frustration

[thaibeachlovers]

35 minutes ago, Unamerican said:

Why is there any mystery here??  

Get to my age — a few decades more — and the wonder is when there is no aches!

I know it's a good day when nothing hurts when I wake up.

[ModdaPunk]

Accept the fact that you're ageing.

Life isn't something that ends well.

We all get old and die.

That's a fact.

So enjoy your life while you have it and stop behaving like a leftist.

Look at the glass half full, have fun, see friends, walk when you can as walking is probably one of the most underrated exercice.

Lifiting weight at 50 isn't a great idea. It might actually be the reason why so feel pain.

Look at this clown. This is what you should do:

 

 

[Hummin]

37 minutes ago, ModdaPunk said:

Accept the fact that you're ageing.

Life isn't something that ends well.

We all get old and die.

That's a fact.

So enjoy your life while you have it and stop behaving like a leftist.

Look at the glass half full, have fun, see friends, walk when you can as walking is probably one of the most underrated exercice.

Lifiting weight at 50 isn't a great idea. It might actually be the reason why so feel pain.

Look at this clown. This is what you should do:

 

 

Seriously, using your body in a healthy way and also stimulate and maintain muscles as well do some coordination exercises prevents pain. Doing nothing you most likely feel more pain, or do to much as well. Of course an healthy balanced diet with the right nutrition also helps as well doing some positive brain exercises for good mental health. Very few are gifted with good genes who do not need to do anything for their health while they are aging. 

[JimTripper]

2 hours ago, ModdaPunk said:

Accept the fact that you're ageing.

Life isn't something that ends well.

We all get old and die.

That's a fact.

So enjoy your life while you have it and stop behaving like a leftist.

Look at the glass half full, have fun, see friends, walk when you can as walking is probably one of the most underrated exercice.

Lifiting weight at 50 isn't a great idea. It might actually be the reason why so feel pain.

Look at this clown. This is what you should do:

 

 

That was carefully scripted. Very similar to the pharmaceutical ads that always have someone outside exercising.

[MrPhysio]

The first warning for blood pressure (hypertension) or heart problems show up in men as the problem you describe.

 

i suggest you have a gdneral health check then an appointment with a Urologist to check the bloodflow using ultrasound.

 

See the symptoms as an early warning and then take the advice.

You may save yourself from a heart attack or stroke (not the one you want)

that can be very disabling.

 

The comprehensive health check will check your heart arteries as well as your aorta and into your neck .

 

At least you obtain the answers and that can provide a scientific plan in safety.

 

Wishing you well.

[RSD1]

On 11/10/2024 at 6:57 AM, thaibeachlovers said:

I can still have a happy ending, as the surgeon did a good job at sparing the relevant nerves. It just makes it a lot more difficult to get there, and it's not anywhere as good as prior, but anything is better than nothing, right?

 

BTW, I'm not miserable about it. It's just the way it is. If I were miserable about it I'd probably have offed my self by now, but even if I couldn't at all I still wouldn't off myself over it. There are often times that I feel good that I had the surgery to survive. Had I not, I'd be dead a long time now. Cancer was in 2005 and surgeon told me it was about to break out of the prostate which would have really been THE END.

 

PS first time I was told by a doctor to masturbate. After the op I was told that if I didn't my body would forget how to get there. I was even prescribed Cialis.

You are very fortunate. I have a friend who is your age now and he had his prostate taken out about 10-15 years ago. He told me his was as big as a tennis ball when they removed it. The doctors had no choice but to cut through a lot of the nerves around it to get to it. After the operation he became fully nonfunctional. At the beginning, he tried medicines, but nothing worked. I haven't discussed it with him in a while, but I assume he eventually just gave up and he lives with it. He has a number of other health problems as well, so I don't think he really focuses on it too much. He's lucky to be alive because I think his father died from prostate cancer because he didn't remove it in time. So I don't think he has any regrets either.
 

Anyway, I think you did the right thing by having the surgery and it seems that you know that. As you said, you wouldn't be here now if you didn't. And it's fantastic that you maintained some functionality. 

Just out of curiosity, were you getting an annual PSA tests when they discovered it? I had another friend who had it also 15 or 20 years ago and they discovered his through PSA testing. At the time, his was still in very early stages so they were able to get rid of the cancer by putting a nuclear seed into his prostate and no surgery was required. He was very lucky. Unfortunately, he died about five years after that from another cause which was unrelated. He was also still quite young at the time, mid 60s I believe.

 

What about urinating? Without the prostate are you still able control the urethra tube or do you have to wear an undergarment to help with that?

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 11/12/2024 at 12:11 AM, RSD1 said:

You are very fortunate. I have a friend who is your age now and he had his prostate taken out about 10-15 years ago. He told me his was as big as a tennis ball when they removed it. The doctors had no choice but to cut through a lot of the nerves around it to get to it. After the operation he became fully nonfunctional. At the beginning, he tried medicines, but nothing worked. I haven't discussed it with him in a while, but I assume he eventually just gave up and he lives with it. He has a number of other health problems as well, so I don't think he really focuses on it too much. He's lucky to be alive because I think his father died from prostate cancer because he didn't remove it in time. So I don't think he has any regrets either.
 

Anyway, I think you did the right thing by having the surgery and it seems that you know that. As you said, you wouldn't be here now if you didn't. And it's fantastic that you maintained some functionality. 

Just out of curiosity, were you getting an annual PSA tests when they discovered it? I had another friend who had it also 15 or 20 years ago and they discovered his through PSA testing. At the time, his was still in very early stages so they were able to get rid of the cancer by putting a nuclear seed into his prostate and no surgery was required. He was very lucky. Unfortunately, he died about five years after that from another cause which was unrelated. He was also still quite young at the time, mid 60s I believe.

 

What about urinating? Without the prostate are you still able control the urethra tube or do you have to wear an undergarment to help with that?

 

The only reason I found out was because I had difficulty peeing and the GP had one done. I never had a routine one done. As it was on the low end I didn't have the op for a few years and thank goodness I waited as life has been <deleted> since.

 

Anyway, I think you did the right thing by having the surgery and it seems that you know that. As you said, you wouldn't be here now if you didn't.

Had I known what it would be like I would not have had the op. The op follow up was a mess, and the hospital stay was a disaster, due to incompetent nursing staff ( sometimes not knowing is an advantage ), and I had to have a follow up op to sort it out. The only thing I got right was not having radiation after, though they wanted me to have it.

Post op I was off work for 5 months, and it took months to get back to normal hours. I'm still not fully recovered.

 

Since I had mine done, the procedures have improved dramatically. I was unusually young to need the op, so I was just really unlucky in the timing.

[georgegeorgia]

On 11/11/2024 at 10:11 PM, RSD1 said:

What about urinating? Without the prostate are you still able control the urethra tube or do you have to wear an undergarment to help with that

Oh please ,do we ALL need to know what you want to know ,it's personal I suggest you PM him 

[thaibeachlovers]

1 hour ago, georgegeorgia said:

Oh please ,do we ALL need to know what you want to know ,it's personal I suggest you PM him 

He needn't bother. The info was in the reply I made if one reads between the lines.

[RSD1]

2 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The only reason I found out was because I had difficulty peeing and the GP had one done. I never had a routine one done. As it was on the low end I didn't have the op for a few years and thank goodness I waited as life has been <deleted> since.

 

Anyway, I think you did the right thing by having the surgery and it seems that you know that. As you said, you wouldn't be here now if you didn't.

Had I known what it would be like I would not have had the op. The op follow up was a mess, and the hospital stay was a disaster, due to incompetent nursing staff ( sometimes not knowing is an advantage ), and I had to have a follow up op to sort it out. The only thing I got right was not having radiation after, though they wanted me to have it.

Post op I was off work for 5 months, and it took months to get back to normal hours. I'm still not fully recovered.

 

Since I had mine done, the procedures have improved dramatically. I was unusually young to need the op, so I was just really unlucky in the timing.

That's a sad story and it sounds quite traumatizing. Was this all done in Thailand or in New Zealand?

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, RSD1 said:

That's a sad story and it sounds quite traumatizing. Was this all done in Thailand or in New Zealand?

It was done while I was in the UK working for the NHS, so it was done in an NHS hospital. Because they had contractors to clean the hospital instead of their own cleaners it was filthy. Nurses didn't even clean lockers in the evening, which is something we always did in NZ.

 

I will say though that while the post op care was lacking, the pre op testing was excellent. I had every test possible done and didn't cost me a penny.

 

Before anyone moans about foreigners getting NHS treatment I'm a dual citizen and was there under a British passport.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

That's a sad story and it sounds quite traumatizing. Was this all done in Thailand or in New Zealand?

It was certainly traumatising and I'm not over it. Scarred for life, mentally as well as physically. There was zero post op psychological support. I think not enough consideration is given to the effects of major life changing surgery. These days people get psychological support for losing their pet cat, or seeing a car accident, but back then there was none.

[RSD1]

1 hour ago, thaibeachlovers said:

It was certainly traumatising and I'm not over it. Scarred for life, mentally as well as physically. There was zero post op psychological support. I think not enough consideration is given to the effects of major life changing surgery. These days people get psychological support for losing their pet cat, or seeing a car accident, but back then there was none.

And this was about 20 years ago? And you were about 60 at the time when it happened?

[georgegeorgia]

5 hours ago, RSD1 said:

And this was about 20 years ago? And you were about 60 at the time when it happened?

You seem to ask a lot of questions?

 

[FruitPudding]

Life is just one indignity after the next. 

 

Better get used to it.

[georgegeorgia]

1 minute ago, FruitPudding said:

Life is just one indignity after the next. 

 

Better get used to it.

"Indignity " ....what a fantastic word , I am collecting words so far I have "discourse " , and will add indignity 

Not to be confused with dignity ?

[ravip]

On 10/29/2024 at 8:44 PM, MalcolmB said:

I don’t like men. 
I like boobs. If I can play with boobs for five minutes I am good.

 

WOW! You are happy with just 5 minutes? Lucky man 

[scubascuba3]

16 minutes ago, georgegeorgia said:

"Indignity " ....what a fantastic word , I am collecting words so far I have "discourse " , and will add indignity 

Not to be confused with dignity ?

Here's a word for you "highfalutin" many in Thailand

[JimTripper]

43 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Here's a word for you "highfalutin" many in Thailand

Do you know why guys with a penis try to look and act like women in Thailand? Are they gay?

[georgegeorgia]

12 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Do you know why guys with a penis try to look and act like women in Thailand? Are they gay?

It's the discourse of indignity 

Sorry if I sound a bit highfalutin 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 11/13/2024 at 3:39 PM, RSD1 said:

And this was about 20 years ago? And you were about 60 at the time when it happened?

No I was unlucky and got it long before the average age. I did mention that in a previous post. The op was in 2005.

[thaibeachlovers]

19 hours ago, JimTripper said:

Do you know why guys with a penis try to look and act like women in Thailand? Are they gay?

If they tried to act like a "gay" woman they'd be after women.

[RSD1]

34 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

No I was unlucky and got it long before the average age. I did mention that in a previous post. The op was in 2005.

i'm a bit confused. 2005 would make it about 20 years ago. And I think you mentioned you're about 80 now. So wouldn't that make you around 60 at the time when you had the operation?

[sharksy]

On 10/29/2024 at 2:51 PM, 123Stodg said:

Well, let’s just cut to the chase—getting older isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There’s the inevitable grey hair, the mysterious aches and pains, and, let’s face it, some truly annoying changes on the “personal health” front. I’m talking about a certain lack of enthusiasm below the belt. Once you hit 50, it’s like a switch flips, and suddenly your body decides it’s gonna make things more difficult in the bedroom. For most of my life, I didn’t give a second thought to, let’s call it, “rising to the occasion.” But now? Let’s just say that even when I’m mentally ready, my body’s got other plans.

 

I’ve tried every “natural” suggestion out there—believe me, I’ve done my research. Eating clean, quitting caffeine, working out regularly. They say “get more sleep,” but try telling that to the never-ending to-do list waiting every morning. I’ve loaded up on leafy greens, upped my water intake, and even swapped out some old habits for new, healthier ones. I’ve even gotten into meditation, trying to manage stress levels. But when it comes down to it, no matter how many vegetables I eat or how many squats I do, the problem persists.

 

And let’s talk about supplements. I’ve probably spent a small fortune on everything from ginseng to maca root, L-arginine to zinc. If it’s sold as a “natural” performance booster, it’s probably sitting somewhere in my drawer right now. But here’s the reality: it’s just not working. I’ve tried powders, pills, smoothies, and shakes—anything that promised even a glimmer of hope. All I got was stack full of bottles and a lingering sense of defeat.

 

Now, being in Thailand, let’s just say there’s no shortage of… commercial options. I’ve tried visiting a few of the top spots and, let’s be real, the experience is enough to leave anyone starry-eyed. Even had a go with a few young, eager hands-on assistants who are pretty dedicated to the “art” of service, and, yes, sometimes with more than one helping at a time. But here’s the thing—even with all that charm, dedication, and sheer effort in the mix, the results haven’t exactly changed much. Sure, it’s enjoyable and exciting, but my body just isn’t playing along the way it used to. If anything, it only adds to the frustration, knowing the mind’s all there, but the engine just won’t fire up like it once did.

 

Of course, there’s always the pharmaceutical route. But the idea of taking potentially risky meds doesn’t sit well with me. We’ve all seen the lists of side effects, and they’re no joke: headaches, dizziness, stomach issues and other health risks in general. Not exactly the kind of excitement I’m looking to add to my day. And, let’s be real—once you start down that path, is there any going back? I don’t want to be dependent on a prescription just to function normally, let alone to feel more confident.

 

So here I am, wondering if there’s some magic solution I haven’t stumbled across yet or if I just have to accept this as part of the new normal. It’s humbling, no doubt. And it’s frustrating beyond belief. But I’m also hoping there’s someone out there with some real advice—because, at this point, I’ll take any tips that don’t involve side effects or miracle powders. Hoping there are other people out there with wisdom who are on the same page.

 

Old post I know, but I am going through this myself.

56 yr old brit, unusually with a hot 24yr old brit girlfriend -  not that it makes much difference in the "desire" category.  Quite happy to just cuddle up and go to sleep, feeling a bit guilty as I know I would be sha&&ing the t1ts  of it years ago.

 

And that's what's made me realise something has changed over the years.

I'm not too shy, so Dr got me an appointment as the local clinic and I'm now on Tadadafil 5mg daily.  Got wood much of the time now, but still not too bothered on the sex part, but it has helped.  Maybe I've got a lot more on my mind, business wise than I did years ago, and sex just isn't quite so important to me, but for the past year I've been in an unusual situation where the girl wants it a lot more than me.  Maybe the pressure doesn't help.  I always remember chasing the sex with a partner, rather than the other way round.

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, sharksy said:

 

Old post I know, but I am going through this myself.

56 yr old brit, unusually with a hot 24yr old brit girlfriend -  not that it makes much difference in the "desire" category.  Quite happy to just cuddle up and go to sleep, feeling a bit guilty as I know I would be sha&&ing the t1ts  of it years ago.

 

And that's what's made me realise something has changed over the years.

I'm not too shy, so Dr got me an appointment as the local clinic and I'm now on Tadadafil 5mg daily.  Got wood much of the time now, but still not too bothered on the sex part, but it has helped.  Maybe I've got a lot more on my mind, business wise than I did years ago, and sex just isn't quite so important to me, but for the past year I've been in an unusual situation where the girl wants it a lot more than me.  Maybe the pressure doesn't help.  I always remember chasing the sex with a partner, rather than the other way round.

Did he do any blood testing to find any cause, or did he just give you a prescription of tadalafil? 

[sharksy]

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Did he do any blood testing to find any cause, or did he just give you a prescription of tadalafil? 

I am due a testosterone blood test later in January, the previous one showing slightly on the low side but was done in the afternoon.

I've been told I must do the next test before 10am to get an accurate picture, hopefully my 10:10 appointment is good enough...

[Hummin]

17 minutes ago, sharksy said:

I am due a testosterone blood test later in January, the previous one showing slightly on the low side but was done in the afternoon.

I've been told I must do the next test before 10am to get an accurate picture, hopefully my 10:10 appointment is good enough...

Testosterone fluctuates quite a bit, so it is a good thing to do it early in the morning,  and in reference to other hormones and also vitamin d levels. 

[scubascuba3]

48 minutes ago, sharksy said:

 

Old post I know, but I am going through this myself.

56 yr old brit, unusually with a hot 24yr old brit girlfriend -  not that it makes much difference in the "desire" category.  Quite happy to just cuddle up and go to sleep, feeling a bit guilty as I know I would be sha&&ing the t1ts  of it years ago.

 

And that's what's made me realise something has changed over the years.

I'm not too shy, so Dr got me an appointment as the local clinic and I'm now on Tadadafil 5mg daily.  Got wood much of the time now, but still not too bothered on the sex part, but it has helped.  Maybe I've got a lot more on my mind, business wise than I did years ago, and sex just isn't quite so important to me, but for the past year I've been in an unusual situation where the girl wants it a lot more than me.  Maybe the pressure doesn't help.  I always remember chasing the sex with a partner, rather than the other way round.

Gets boring with the same woman after a while even a much younger one

[RSD1]

4 hours ago, sharksy said:

I am due a testosterone blood test later in January, the previous one showing slightly on the low side but was done in the afternoon.

I've been told I must do the next test before 10am to get an accurate picture, hopefully my 10:10 appointment is good enough...

I don't think time of day makes much difference. I get mine tested once a year. I always go to get blood taken in the afternoon around 2PM. I just had it tested again about 10 days ago. It hasn't changed. For the last 3 years I've been slightly above 1,100 ng/dL, which is about 25% above high normal. 
 

Although I have more than enough to support a high sex drive, which is usually what I have, there are times I also have no sex drive if I'm under stress, very busy and exhausted from dealing with other things, etc. 
 

Try cannabis. It can also enhance desire considerably. 

[RSD1]

4 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

Gets boring with the same woman after a while even a much younger one

Yep, new P versus old P can make a huge difference.