Outspoken thai wife

[pschef]

Hey just wondering, my wife is very outspoken  does it affect your relationship with other farrang

I refer to, when she gets a few drinks inside, she sometimes blows off at the mouth. I know she never really means any harm, but some farrangs take it the wrong way

My Mrs is just that way inclined, she just cant keep her gob shut    I always end up holding the can so to speak. I would be interseted to know your views, bye the bye she nearly always protecting me  :laugh:

[MaiChai]

This is a common problem when Thail lady hooks up with farang and then gets elevated in her Thai hierachy. Put it this way, she was probably a nobody/just a normal poor Thai, and now that she is hooked up with a farang all her friends/relations/people in the community now look up to her now. Also there is a lot of social pressure to perform once elevated to this position (Thai expectations); she may not be able to deal with it.

My wife is similar; deep down inside she is a good genuine person, but she doesn't know how to deal with all the bullshit that comes from her new position in society.

[pschef]

Very well put Maichai, I couldn’t have put it better

The thing is as you say how to keep her quiet, I don’t want to lord it over her. I realize the distinction between the two, I keep trying to tell her. I say if you feel they are trying to put you down, just keep your mouth shut. Talk to me and I will advise you how to deal with that situation. Thanks for your input ::

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Fellows, I don't this this predeliction is other than a gender based thing.   Not just the province of Thai women married    to we evil farang,  with or without the advantage of a litre  

of the demon drink on board.  Just another contribution to

the debate.

[MaiChai]

Sorry, Dr you lost me there. Could you put it simply.

As for the solution, I don't know the answer! The only thing I have seen fix this problem is to take the lady to the west, and let her absorb some of your culture. There she realises all the superficiality of Thai archiarchy, and learns how to priorotise what is important to her in her life (you!). Its also a good educational experience. Unfortunatly I have not been able to do this as the missus won't come to the West; she did once but it was a bad experience as we spent a lot of time in hospital because my daughter was sick, and then she had to return to Thailand as her mother died. I guess they are a supersicious, and bad vibes puts them off repeating the experience.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Maybe I lost you, but my reply and your question is not quite compatible.

[D80]

I think Dr Pat_Pong was trying to say that this sort of behaviour isn't just a common characteristic of a Thai woman married to a farang, it's rather a gender thing.  That's what I got anyway, sorry if that was wrong.

I don't know if such a behaviour is really a 'Thai-woman-married-to-a-farang-and-therefore-the-community-now-look-up-to-her' syndrome.  It's weird really but personnally I don't think the community is really looking up to me when I marry a westerner.  Might be different for some, I don't know.  I have certainly been treated badly by some Thais when I'm with my partner in Thailand but that's just odd incidents that I wouldn't go into here.

Thai society is certainly class based.  It's actually more complicated than just how much money the person have (although that is probably one of the main criteria that goes together with many others).  It's their family name, their manners, where they went to school, what jobs they do, who they know etc etc.  You can come from a really rich family then behave so badly that you get looked down upon as a lower class.  I've seen that done plenty of times.  

To be honest, I don't think 'the west' is truely classless either so in some ways taking her there may not really change anything.  She may learn the way people of different culture behave when they are socialising and calm down a bit but that's about it.  I don't think she's likely to change if she only behaves this way when she has had a few drinks.  In my experience, westerners (or just non-Thais for that matter) just hide it better than the Thais and the society as a whole see it as tasteless and unacceptable to be talking about class so openly.  But in reality it happens too in a nudge nudge wink wink sort of way.  Having live in quite a few Western countries for a long period of time, I can't really say otherwise (I wish I could).

If her background is what would be classed as lower in status by the Thais, then Maichai's analysis is probably right.  People who are not confident about where they stand are more likely to assert their status quite agressively, especially where their previous status is not very high.  But from what I've seen, most people, male or female/Thai or Western are more outspoken when they have a bit of booze in them (that's why the Thais called alcohol 'character changing water').    

Can't you talk to her about it or, even better, try to pace the drinking?  If she seems a bit merry then have some non-alcoholic drinks as a sort of intervals.  I think the problem isn't really all to do with her class.  Perhaps some part of it is.  But the main part is how she behaves when she's a bit merry.  So I would say be extra careful when out drinking rather than anything else.

To be honest, I don't really understand fully what you mean by 'outspoken'.  Can you be more specific?  Was she rude to others when she's had a few drinks?  Was she loud?  Does she have a go at people that annoy her although she would have let it pass if she was totally sober?

[TizMe]

when she gets a few drinks inside, she sometimes blows off at the mouth

I had one like this. She wasn't a Thai though. But I found a perfect cure.

She is now Ex Mrs TizMe.    

[pschef]

Hey mate Tizme

I didnt really want a divorce, just some advise.

Thanks to all who gave imput, I agree that in general Thai wifes have alot of pressure from our so called friends

Lets face it we cant all be married to Sow office or ex caberet artists, mostly these ladies have little or no education. We just love them just the way they are, to coin a phrase :cool: I am still keeping score ???

[nikkiDK]

we do that once in awhile

Hello Gents,

I have the same problem with my Farang boy friend after he had a drink or two. Lucky me for at least he never did in front of my sophisticated Farang (???) friends just yet.  

Nikki

ps.Tell her to go to lady room, next time.

pps.Nothing to do with being Thai girls, I guss.

[Thetyim]

Where did you get the invisible ink from?

Nice one Nikki.

[pschef]

To be honest, I don't really understand fully what you mean by 'outspoken'.  Can you be more specific?  Was she rude to others when she's had a few drinks?  Was she loud?  Does she have a go at people that annoy her although she would have let it pass if she was totally sober?

Hey D80

I have used part of your post most relevant, the last line. She would most likely let it pass if she was sober. Not really rude, just a bit louder than normal!!!

Just wonder where nikkiDK got that quote, I wonder did you mean your Farrang boyfriend hasn’t shown you up in front of your Thai friends yet. ???  

Bye the way nikkiDK if you use that colour font, its very hard to read

:cool:

[Brian]

Thetyim,

Your mum warned you that it would make you go blind, didn't she? We can all read Nikki's post OK..

[pschef]

Hey Brian, nice to see you back. You must have been using your com for work or somthing discusting like that

anyway welcome back, such a high standard flavour of comment to our forum :cool:

[Brian]

Yeah, work has a bad habit of getting in the way of doing meaningful stuff like posting here..  

[nikkiDK]

Just wonder where nikkiDK got that quote, I wonder did you mean your Farrang boyfriend hasn’t shown you up in front of your Thai friends yet.    

Gents,

Just want to check if somebody read my post    in fact I have no idea how it happened.

Nikki

ps. My farrang b/f has been busy drinking at Nana & I don't want him to blow off at the mouth in front of my Thai friends.

[Brian]

You don't have to catch the ball.

Nikki, why don't we have to catch the ball?

Also, please change the colour of your writing.

I'm not quite as bad as Thetyim. I just stopped when I only needed glasses.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I do it less and wear very thick glasses. What a crappy unreadable offering.

[nikkiDK]

Hello Gents,

As I said, I have no idea how & what happen with my post. I didn't do anything with it. Annoy!!. I try again this time.

Nikki

ps. The webmaster, please help.

[Brian]

Nikki,

You have to go into "Your Control Panel".

Then "Personal Info".

At the bottom of the page is "Post colour"

If you put #000000 into this box and then click "Amend Profile" you will be just like the rest of us.

[nikkiDK]

Brian,

Enlighten!... thanks a lot.

Nikki

- never have a hangover on your own time

- never give black coffee to a drunk (all you get is a wide-awake drunk)

- never make a big decision at night.

- you can never choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose where you look.

- Money can't buy you love, but it'll let you park your yacht right next to it.

- remember : big smile, short memory

- don't forget to wink. It still works!!

[Brian]

[D80]

It's all in the booze mate, all in the booze!  

[pschef]

Its happened again, we have lost the topic ???

Nice to see Nikki has finally got it the right colour

I quote from one of your last posts,

ps. My farrang b/f has been busy drinking at Nana & I don't want him to blow off at the mouth in front of my Thai friends.

But in your other post you said, he hasnt shown me up yet in front of my sophisticated Farrang friends? maybe Im wrong?

I like the Never never stuff

never give black coffee to a drunk (all you get is a wide-awake drunk)

- never make a big decision at night. especially when full of Sang Som :laugh:

[Farang Ting Tong]

and now that she is hooked up with a farang all her friends/relations/people in the community now look up to her now.

Sorry but I totally disagree Maichai.

Try looking at it this way....

....and now that she is hooked up with a farang all her friends/relations/people in the community now look DOWN ON her now....

....and she mouths off as a way of relieving the stress that builds up because of how her countrymen now perceive her. A sort of defence mechanism.

[MaiChai]

In my village community I can confirm without any doubt that my wife was elevated as a result of marrying a farang, and many other ladies have experienced the same thing. I don't live in a bar girl community where tying up with a farang would imply that the lady is trying to better herself by working through a succession of farang boyfriends until one is hooked, and other Thais in the community may just see her as that; you may experience this in places like Pattaya, Bangkok (certain areas), Koh Samui, Phuket.

I live in "normal" Thailand, and I am well known and respected in my local community. I was recently an honoured guest at a funeral where the most important people were called up first to pay their respects before the masses; eg with the village headmen, police, local teachers, tambon administrators, etc. We are regularly invited to all the social events and put at the head table so to speak. I even know the local MP; he is related to my family, went to school with my wifes eldest brother, and he has often offered to help if I ever needed help getting anything done.

Of course this position comes with its burdens and protocols. Oh, the power  ::

[Thetyim]

Hey Brian,  your avatar has changed.

Did you have to change it because mrentoul was sending you love letters