Bangkok has run its course

[kingofallasians]

I need to stop coming here.

 

No other place has had a hold of me so badly.  I've never been to a place which is like a drug where when you are there you are in bliss and when you are not there you are miserable.

 

There's no self control here and I think I am a sex addict.  I already caught an STD.  There's drugs everywhere and I found myself doing cannabis everyday.  I have no discipline to stay away.

 

This place and the people are so wonderful.  They truly are some of the best in the world.  I think I could live here forever but that might not be a good idea.

 

I stayed three months longer than I should have, making it six months.  My life in USA is going down the <deleted>ter.  I will probably be homeless when I go back.

 

I have decided to pursue IT less and maybe learn how to take care of old people.  I want to take care of old people in Hawaii and live a simple life away from red light districts and luxury malls.

 

The friends I make here eventually go their own separate ways.  Yes I get to socialize and make friends here but the place is very transient.  Even my Thai friends who used to get drunk and eat chicken feet are gone now.

 

Thailand will never be as good as when Yingluck Shiniwatra was PM and King Bhumibol was alive.  That was the absolute best time.  Thailand is a like a cocaine high that I try to recreate and while it's still good it will never be the same.

 

I've been chasing this dream for a while but I don't think I want it anymore because it feels empty.  Instead, I want solitude, simplicity, and books.

 

And it hurts to leave.  I have a few weeks left and every day I feel a crushing weight against my chest that I am once again leaving this magical and wonderful place.  A place which has ruined all other places for me, including Hawaii.  Because they simply can not compare.

[blaze master]

One night in Bangkok makes a hard king humble.

[flyingtlger]

I have a feeling you'll be back after you've left........