Rupert's Street Meat and More Existential Panic

[Lewie London]

So Rupert’s tryin’ to be all “when in Rome” after readin’ one of them travel blogs written by some Chelsea bird who says eatin’ street food is the “soul of Thailand.” Next thing I know, he’s draggin’ me down some back-alley fresh market near the edge of the old city with an action cam strapped to his noggin like he’s doin’ a bloody Vice documentary.

 

He starts pointin’ at every stall like a toddler at a petting zoo, askin’ the locals what’s this and what’s that. Comes across this geezer grillin’ skewers of what looks like small chicken chunks but slightly more… sinewy, then sees him dipping it in a thick, shiny red/orange sauce. Rupert’s eyes light up like he’s discovered the lost city of Atlantis. No questions asked. “That one,” he says, “looks rustic.” Sign says “Noo Nah,” but I don’t intervene. Rupert seems determined, and who am I to be a bit of a mood-hoover when he wants to go full native.

 

Bloke hands it over with a grin and a thumbs-up. Rupe takes a massive bite, chews it up with vigor, swallows, sucks in a second bit and goes, “Hmm, bit earthy, smells and tastes kind a like duck crossed with rabbit skin.” Then asks the vendor what it is. The man shows him a picture on his phone of a rat with a smile on so wide you’d think he’d just heard the best story about Farage and milkshakes ever.

 

Randy Rupe goes pale. Starts swayin’ like he’s about to faint into a basket of fermented fish. I'm thinking he's about to start blowing sick everywhere. Then he whispers “Lewie, did I just eat Remy from Ratatouille?”

 

I tells him, “Nah mate, Remy wore a little chef hat and apron. This one probably chewed through a proper power cable behind a 7-Eleven, got Darwinized, and died an honourable death.”

 

Later, the lad reckons he'd spend an hour garglin’ Listerine and Googlin’ if rats can give you rabies through digestion. But before we left the market, vendor tries to upsell him on deep-fried frog legs as a palate cleanser. Rupert tells him he’s full. My mate's goin’ full vegan now. Won’t even touch a ham toasty or a pizza with a bit of proper sausage on it.

 

By the end of it all, he’s then posted inside a Boots chemist askin’ if activated charcoal can scrub food regret out your anoose.

[mikebell]

Love it.  Since the demise of Rooster and the Mods refusal to let me fill his boots, Aseannow has been crying out for some verbal Milk of Magnesia to soothe the acidity of most comments on here.  

[HappyExpat57]

3 minutes ago, mikebell said:

Love it.  Since the demise of Rooster and the Mods refusal to let me fill his boots, Aseannow has been crying out for some verbal Milk of Magnesia to soothe the acidity of most comments on here.  

Love it. Now let's see how long this post stands . . .

[EVENKEEL]

When I read street meat I figured it was a ladyboy subject.

[hankypankee]

26 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

When I read street meat I figured it was a ladyboy subject.

Some might call that poetic prose. “Street meat,” though, generally refers to street prostitutes. Sounds like you’ve just got ladyboys stuck in your mental filter. I’m assuming the choice of such an alluring title was intentional too.

[EVENKEEL]

19 minutes ago, hankypankee said:

Some might call that poetic prose. “Street meat,” though, generally refers to street prostitutes. Sounds like you’ve just got ladyboys stuck in your mental filter. I’m assuming the choice of such an alluring title was intentional too.

Just a few of the prolific posters often make threads about LB's such as Bob  Lewie. 

[hankypankee]

6 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

Just a few of the prolific posters often make threads about LB's such as Bob  Lewie. 

I'm sure there are more than a few who do. But that's not the point. There was nothing in this topic about ladyboys and you brought it up. So who is really the one posting about ladyboys here?

[EVENKEEL]

2 minutes ago, hankypankee said:

I'm sure there are more than a few who do. But that's not the point. There was nothing in this topic about ladyboys and you brought it up. So who is really the one posting about ladyboys here?

It certainly caught your attention. Just remember a few a year don't make you queer.

[hankypankee]

5 minutes ago, EVENKEEL said:

It certainly caught your attention. Just remember a few a year don't make you queer.

Yes, your miss use of the meaning of the term used in the title did get my attention. And if you want to be queer, that's none of my business.

[BLMFem]

3 hours ago, EVENKEEL said:

It certainly caught your attention. Just remember a few a year don't make you queer.

Whatever makes you happy, buddy.