There’s an attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties whom I often see at the fitness center, and she has got me thinking about something.

We often end up exercising quite close to each other, and sometimes there are only a few other people in the gym, so it’s difficult not to notice her same pattern of behavior repeated over and over.

She spends more time looking at her smartphone than anyone I have ever seen in an exercise environment.

And I do not mean checking it between sets. I mean constantly. Between sets. During sets. Walking on the treadmill. Sitting down. Standing up. Virtually every spare second.

I have also never seen her talk to anyone in the gym. I have never seen her make eye contact with anybody. Not even the staff. If somebody walks past, she often seems to immediately look back down at the screen to avoid eye contact or the possibility of anyone saying hello to her. It just seems excessive to me and not particularly healthy human behavior.

Now before anybody jumps on me, I am not claiming to know anything about her.

For all I know, she could be perfectly happy, socially active, married with three children, and coordinating a multinational business empire from the hip abduction machine. I have absolutely no idea.

What interested me wasn’t her specifically. It was the behavior itself, because it made me wonder whether I could actually date somebody like that. Somebody whose attention always seems to be directed towards a screen rather than the world immediately around them.

Perhaps I am showing my age, but I still find eye contact, casual communication, and simply being present in the moment to be fairly important parts of human existence.

And I sometimes wonder what happens when an entire generation becomes more comfortable communicating through a device than face to face. It doesn't seem like a good way to go through life.

Would somebody like that be just as engaged and connected in a relationship as anyone else? Or does constantly living through a screen eventually change the way people relate to each other?

I'm thinking eventually, humans might forget how to interact with each other in person completely. Or maybe this is completely normal for everyone now and I am the outlier. Dunno.

But if I was dating an attractive woman who spent more than half her waking life staring into a screen, I honestly think it would be a major turn off. I would definitely find myself wondering whether I was dating a person or merely competing with a six inch screen for their attention.

Maybe some people would see it as a positive if they just wanted a partner who was more of a companion, someone who did not talk or engage too much and was happy to simply be at their side, but leave them alone. I suppose there is a time and a place for that, and we probably all appreciate a bit of quiet sometimes.

But if someone cannot even focus on the moments when they are doing something that is meant to have their full attention, and instead is focused on a little glass panel emitting blue light, then perhaps we’ve become a bit too attached to the technology that was supposed to make life better.

Yes, if you both play phone the same, it's ok

The OP is too shy to say hello

I like the OP and wonder to if this type of existence is healthy. I have no idea. I might go a day or two without looking at my mobile other than to transfer money. My wife gave up and no longer calls me which is fine. My addiction is the PC but it never moves from my desk so is a non factor for large portions of each day.

I have a lovely pond with huge fish, birds, and too many snakes. Experiencing them seems much more healthy than staring at a screen but things change. Maybe most are getting what is important to live a quality life from their little screens while non-virtual life passes them by.

I assume we all have vivid memories of our past that still bring enjoyment and gratitude. Can you get this from a screen and is having deep memories even important? I can remember landing a huge trout in Oak Creak, AZ in America as if it happened yesterday and that was 45 years ago. I also remember the weekly trout fries we would have every week. Seems important to me....

1 hour ago, 123Stodg said:

There’s an attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties whom I often see at the fitness center, and she has got me thinking about something.

We often end up exercising quite close to each other, and sometimes there are only a few other people in the gym, so it’s difficult not to notice her same pattern of behavior repeated over and over.

She spends more time looking at her smartphone than anyone I have ever seen in an exercise environment.

And I do not mean checking it between sets. I mean constantly. Between sets. During sets. Walking on the treadmill. Sitting down. Standing up. Virtually every spare second.

I have also never seen her talk to anyone in the gym. I have never seen her make eye contact with anybody. Not even the staff. If somebody walks past, she often seems to immediately look back down at the screen to avoid eye contact or the possibility of anyone saying hello to her. It just seems excessive to me and not particularly healthy human behavior.

Now before anybody jumps on me, I am not claiming to know anything about her.

For all I know, she could be perfectly happy, socially active, married with three children, and coordinating a multinational business empire from the hip abduction machine. I have absolutely no idea.

What interested me wasn’t her specifically. It was the behavior itself, because it made me wonder whether I could actually date somebody like that. Somebody whose attention always seems to be directed towards a screen rather than the world immediately around them.

Perhaps I am showing my age, but I still find eye contact, casual communication, and simply being present in the moment to be fairly important parts of human existence.

And I sometimes wonder what happens when an entire generation becomes more comfortable communicating through a device than face to face. It doesn't seem like a good way to go through life.

Would somebody like that be just as engaged and connected in a relationship as anyone else? Or does constantly living through a screen eventually change the way people relate to each other?

I'm thinking eventually, humans might forget how to interact with each other in person completely. Or maybe this is completely normal for everyone now and I am the outlier. Dunno.

But if I was dating an attractive woman who spent more than half her waking life staring into a screen, I honestly think it would be a major turn off. I would definitely find myself wondering whether I was dating a person or merely competing with a six inch screen for their attention.

Maybe some people would see it as a positive if they just wanted a partner who was more of a companion, someone who did not talk or engage too much and was happy to simply be at their side, but leave them alone. I suppose there is a time and a place for that, and we probably all appreciate a bit of quiet sometimes.

But if someone cannot even focus on the moments when they are doing something that is meant to have their full attention, and instead is focused on a little glass panel emitting blue light, then perhaps we’ve become a bit too attached to the technology that was supposed to make life better.

She's not into you. Move on.

Some get addicted to their phones while others rarely touch it, and the rest in between. I remember back when I was training others and working out myself in New Jersey there weren't any cell phones and people were concentrating on working out or possibly talking to others around them, but mostly kept to themselves unless they were with someone already.

After moving to Texas, into the 90's, when they were readily available, more and more started being on them, but not near as much as today. Now when I go to the gym, everyone has them at hand, more scrolling then working out, unless they're on the treadmills or bicycles.

Blessing and a curse. Saved lives and killed others. Definitely useful but not easy for some to put down.

I only use mine before bed looking at Facebook and talking to girlfriend or family for a short time, along with watching a few videos. Other than that, almost no time on it. If you can stand a girlfriend constantly on her phone it's okay, but that addiction isn't good for in person communication which is necessary. Best to look for one that isn't on it much, especially while working out where your attention should be on that working out.

I've not got a problem with it. Means I don't have to talk to the Mrs. If I'm sat on the sofa next to her, I'll send her a Whatsapp when it's time to get my dinner ready. I'll email her if it's something not too pressing like grabbing me another slab of beers for tomorrow.

3 hours ago, atpeace said:

My wife gave up and no longer calls me which is fine.

Ünderstandable!

4 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

There’s an attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties whom I often see at the fitness center, and she has got me thinking about something.

Now you come out like a non-getting anything stodge

5 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

Ünderstandable!

Now you come out like a non-getting anything stodge

Got nothing then writes 500 words about being a dork.

12 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

Got nothing then writes 500 words about being a dork.

Yeah, she’s a bit weird, but not half as bad as the halfwit who wastes his whole life on a forum. In fact, I’m trying to figure out who is weirder: a girl who stares at her phone at the gym half the time, or a ninny who spends his whole day staring at his phone typing rubbish on a forum? Who do you think is weirder? I’m putting my money on the numpty bloke.

Trolling posts removed.

@Nemises That's the 2nd time with the same message. Knock it off.

Sadly more and more people spend most all of their time staring at a phone screen. Personally I find it rude to be having a meal or sharing time with anyone who does this constantly whether it is a gal or a guy. No desire at all to spend any significant time with rude people.

It is their choice if they prefer to sit and watch mindlesss tik tok or instgram videos and ignore all the "real life" all around them. It is my choice to get up and leave.

Find friends who have a bit of class and who are not suffering from mindless phone addiction and are willing to put the phone down and engage.

8 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

And I do not mean checking it between sets. I mean constantly. Between sets. During sets. Walking on the treadmill. Sitting down. Standing up. Virtually every spare second.

She's a working girl, the attractive ones have plenty of customers.

She's busy planning her day, searching through her clientele to earn money, to support herself.

4 hours ago, Gottfrid said:

Ünderstandable!

Does that mean "understandable" in a northern European language? 😄

9 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

There’s an attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties whom I often see at the fitness center, and she has got me thinking about something.

We often end up exercising quite close to each other, and sometimes there are only a few other people in the gym, so it’s difficult not to notice her same pattern of behavior repeated over and over.

She spends more time looking at her smartphone than anyone I have ever seen in an exercise environment.

And I do not mean checking it between sets. I mean constantly. Between sets. During sets. Walking on the treadmill. Sitting down. Standing up. Virtually every spare second.

I have also never seen her talk to anyone in the gym. I have never seen her make eye contact with anybody. Not even the staff. If somebody walks past, she often seems to immediately look back down at the screen to avoid eye contact or the possibility of anyone saying hello to her. It just seems excessive to me and not particularly healthy human behavior.

Now before anybody jumps on me, I am not claiming to know anything about her.

For all I know, she could be perfectly happy, socially active, married with three children, and coordinating a multinational business empire from the hip abduction machine. I have absolutely no idea.

What interested me wasn’t her specifically. It was the behavior itself, because it made me wonder whether I could actually date somebody like that. Somebody whose attention always seems to be directed towards a screen rather than the world immediately around them.

Perhaps I am showing my age, but I still find eye contact, casual communication, and simply being present in the moment to be fairly important parts of human existence.

And I sometimes wonder what happens when an entire generation becomes more comfortable communicating through a device than face to face. It doesn't seem like a good way to go through life.

Would somebody like that be just as engaged and connected in a relationship as anyone else? Or does constantly living through a screen eventually change the way people relate to each other?

I'm thinking eventually, humans might forget how to interact with each other in person completely. Or maybe this is completely normal for everyone now and I am the outlier. Dunno.

But if I was dating an attractive woman who spent more than half her waking life staring into a screen, I honestly think it would be a major turn off. I would definitely find myself wondering whether I was dating a person or merely competing with a six inch screen for their attention.

Maybe some people would see it as a positive if they just wanted a partner who was more of a companion, someone who did not talk or engage too much and was happy to simply be at their side, but leave them alone. I suppose there is a time and a place for that, and we probably all appreciate a bit of quiet sometimes.

But if someone cannot even focus on the moments when they are doing something that is meant to have their full attention, and instead is focused on a little glass panel emitting blue light, then perhaps we’ve become a bit too attached to the technology that was supposed to make life better.

If she's attractive, plenty of guys hit on her all the time, especially in a high-testosterone environment like a gym. Some girls keep their heads buried in their phones to keep men at bay.

29 minutes ago, rattlesnake said:

If she's attractive, plenty of guys hit on her all the time, especially in a high-testosterone environment like a gym. Some girls keep their heads buried in their phones to keep men at bay.

Good thinking, but she often comes late at night, as I do, and often there's only three or four people left in the gym. She does the face-lock phone thing all the time though, whether people are around or not. I think she's just obsessed.

2 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

She's a working girl, the attractive ones have plenty of customers.

She's busy planning her day, searching through her clientele to earn money, to support herself.

That’s an interesting point. I hadn’t considered that. I suspect it’s less glamorous though. She seems like an ordinary office worker. At first I thought she might be a foreigner because of her very fair skin and extremely Chinese appearance, but then I once saw her outside the building in what looked like office clothes. I assume she’s Thai, although I’ve never actually heard her speak.

The only unusual thing is that she only comes to the gym very late, I've even see her there late at night on Sundays, which makes me think she might be single. Of course, that’s just speculation. But I have no idea what she’s doing on her phone. Probably just typical Thai stuff. Facebook, Instagram and LINE. I only notice it because it’s always in her hand. All that time looking down at a screen probably isn’t doing her posture any favors either.

What's interesting is I don't think I've ever seen her take a selfie. You would think if she's on the game she would want to create promotional content while she's at the gym in her tight gym pants to help market herself in her trade.

24 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

Good thinking, but she often comes late at night, as I do, and often there's only three or four people left in the gym. She does the face-lock phone thing all the time though, whether people are around or not. I think she's just obsessed.

Obsessed with her phone or obsessed with you?

Time you moved on to another gym or another sport...

12 minutes ago, scorecard said:

Obsessed with her phone or obsessed with you?

Time you moved on to another gym or another sport...

I have no interest in her, nor do I think she has any interest in me. The gym is great though. She's a bit of an interesting anthropological study in weird millennial behavior.

3 hours ago, pomchop said:

Sadly more and more people spend most all of their time staring at a phone screen. Personally I find it rude to be having a meal or sharing time with anyone who does this constantly whether it is a gal or a guy. No desire at all to spend any significant time with rude people.

It is their choice if they prefer to sit and watch mindlesss tik tok or instgram videos and ignore all the "real life" all around them. It is my choice to get up and leave.

Find friends who have a bit of class and who are not suffering from mindless phone addiction and are willing to put the phone down and engage.

People use phones for music in a gym

11 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

She spends more time looking at her smartphone than anyone I have ever seen in an exercise environment.

And I do not mean checking it between sets. I mean constantly. Between sets. During sets. Walking on the treadmill. Sitting down. Standing up. Virtually every spare second.

You spent every spare second watching her instead of working out. She was looking at music videos to avoid eye contact with a creepy farang that perves but does not talk.

Her behaviour is normal in a gym and yours indicates you are lonely.

Edited June 28Jun 28 by Rockyroad

46 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

I have no interest in her, nor do I think she has any interest in me. The gym is great though. She's a bit of an interesting anthropological study in weird millennial behavior.

Not at all. Some 70yos start Youtube channels and love modern tech.

1 hour ago, 123Stodg said:

Good thinking, but she often comes late at night, as I do, and often there's only three or four people left in the gym. She does the face-lock phone thing all the time though, whether people are around or not. I think she's just obsessed.

I doubt she went to a Thai forum and started a topic about you. Females love phones and her behaviour is normal.

11 hours ago, 123Stodg said:

There’s an attractive woman in her late twenties or early thirties whom I often see at the fitness center, and she has got me thinking about something.

We often end up exercising quite close to each other, and sometimes there are only a few other people in the gym, so it’s difficult not to notice her same pattern of behavior repeated over and over.

She spends more time looking at her smartphone than anyone I have ever seen in an exercise environment.

And I do not mean checking it between sets. I mean constantly. Between sets. During sets. Walking on the treadmill. Sitting down. Standing up. Virtually every spare second.

I have also never seen her talk to anyone in the gym. I have never seen her make eye contact with anybody. Not even the staff. If somebody walks past, she often seems to immediately look back down at the screen to avoid eye contact or the possibility of anyone saying hello to her. It just seems excessive to me and not particularly healthy human behavior.

Now before anybody jumps on me, I am not claiming to know anything about her.

For all I know, she could be perfectly happy, socially active, married with three children, and coordinating a multinational business empire from the hip abduction machine. I have absolutely no idea.

What interested me wasn’t her specifically. It was the behavior itself, because it made me wonder whether I could actually date somebody like that. Somebody whose attention always seems to be directed towards a screen rather than the world immediately around them.

Perhaps I am showing my age, but I still find eye contact, casual communication, and simply being present in the moment to be fairly important parts of human existence.

And I sometimes wonder what happens when an entire generation becomes more comfortable communicating through a device than face to face. It doesn't seem like a good way to go through life.

Would somebody like that be just as engaged and connected in a relationship as anyone else? Or does constantly living through a screen eventually change the way people relate to each other?

I'm thinking eventually, humans might forget how to interact with each other in person completely. Or maybe this is completely normal for everyone now and I am the outlier. Dunno.

But if I was dating an attractive woman who spent more than half her waking life staring into a screen, I honestly think it would be a major turn off. I would definitely find myself wondering whether I was dating a person or merely competing with a six inch screen for their attention.

Maybe some people would see it as a positive if they just wanted a partner who was more of a companion, someone who did not talk or engage too much and was happy to simply be at their side, but leave them alone. I suppose there is a time and a place for that, and we probably all appreciate a bit of quiet sometimes.

But if someone cannot even focus on the moments when they are doing something that is meant to have their full attention, and instead is focused on a little glass panel emitting blue light, then perhaps we’ve become a bit too attached to the technology that was supposed to make life better.

She definitely is avoiding interaction with you, probably sick of sleazy farang trying to pick her up in their lame way

22 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

She definitely is avoiding interaction with you, probably sick of sleazy farang trying to pick her up in their lame way

If it's late at night and she is the only female avoiding eye contact with men is a safety mechanism. Nothing unusual about that.

25 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

She definitely is avoiding interaction with you, probably sick of sleazy farang trying to pick her up in their lame way

You appear to be an expert on the topic. Obviously lots of personal experience. I wouldn't know. I'm there to train. I never hit on chicks at the gym, but based on your experiences, it doesn't sound like it went well for you.

4 hours ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

She's a working girl, the attractive ones have plenty of customers.

She's busy planning her day, searching through her clientele to earn money, to support herself.

Does your girlfriend do the same?

8 minutes ago, 123Stodg said:

You appear to be an expert on the topic. Obviously lots of personal experience. I wouldn't know. I'm there to train. I never hit on chicks at the gym, but based on your experiences, it doesn't sound like it went well for you.

She is there to train as well but some old guy keeps staring at her so she has to look at her phone in between sets to avoid eye contact.

2 hours ago, rattlesnake said:

If she's attractive, plenty of guys hit on her all the time, especially in a high-testosterone environment like a gym. Some girls keep their heads buried in their phones to keep men at bay.

All the while scrolling on her phone the attention she's getting from her "admirers". They have a thousand "friends" on FB who hardly know her, if at all, and who like pictures she's posted in "the gym working out". She wouldn't talk to any of them, but loves that attention.

Known the type, seen them many times, and how they act around men in person. Trained many of them also. Many have that phone addiction and most won't be hit on in the gyms, even though it is a good place to find a like minded partner.

See many on their phones while on dates, for years, talking to others or scrolling instead of interacting with their date. If this is the norm, know this will happen with her, especially in a gym where working out should be the priority.

13 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

She is there to train as well but some old guy keeps staring at her so she has to look at her phone in between sets to avoid eye contact.

Tell me who is more pathetic. The gym-drone surgically attached to her phone, or the basement-dwelling arse-hat who spews nothing but toxic sludge on a forum all day, vomiting out brainless garbage for the sole purpose of collecting downvotes from strangers, simply because he can’t afford to step outside and do anything more than fund his $5-a-day bedsit in Nakorn Nullity?