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Miserable expats

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5 minutes ago, KhunHeineken said:

So, it goes back to the decades long debate. Do you blame the scamming Thai women, or their foreign victims?

TravelGuides & Travelogues

Do I need to blame anyone? If my wife turned on me tomorrow, who could I blame? In the end, I am responsible for the choices I make.

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  • advancebooking
    advancebooking

    I think this is the first time this topic has ever been raised on the forum. It will be a massive hit. Cant wait to read 20 pages of misery.

  • emptypockets
    emptypockets

    Mostly British in my experience. Whine about anything to anyone.

  • You mean like you just did..........😐

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8 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Do I need to blame anyone?

Well, if the Thai girl is scamming from day one, yeah, SOME blame needs to be attributed to her.

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

If my wife turned on me tomorrow, who could I blame?

Her.

9 minutes ago, Hummin said:

In the end, I am responsible for the choices I make.

Sure, but that doesn't diminish the criminality of another person.

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24 minutes ago, KhunHeineken said:

Well, if the Thai girl is scamming from day one, yeah, SOME blame needs to be attributed to her.

TravelGuides & Travelogues

Her.

Sure, but that doesn't diminish the criminality of another person.

I do not like to put the blame on others when I had a choice and nobody forced me to make the choices I made.

What is there to learn if you keep excusing yourself and blaming everyone else for your mistakes? Does that help in any way?

I agree, mistakes are sometimes not your fault, but you still have to deal with the consequences and learn from them. With all the mistakes I have made up to today, there were signs and red warnings, but I did it anyway. I believe most people have experienced the same once they reach a certain age.

"The opportunity to secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself,"

Sun Tzu

44 minutes ago, Rockyroad said:

"The opportunity to secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself,"

Sun Tzu

It is remarkable that 2,500-year-old wisdom and intelligence are still so relevant today.

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3 hours ago, Hummin said:

Do I need to blame anyone? If my wife turned on me tomorrow, who could I blame? In the end, I am responsible for the choices I make.

If my wife turned on me tomorrow, I'd be glad I kept enough money back in the UK to buy another one a house.

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

If my wife turned on me tomorrow, I'd be glad I kept enough money back in the UK to buy another one a house.

Such negativity 😂

I'd put a bungalow next to the Greenhouse, I'm not giving up my figs. Or rent one of the daughter's properties at Krung Thep. Though she probably woulnd't let me pay her rent. Can't see leaving PKK though.

4 hours ago, Hummin said:

I do not like to put the blame on others when I had a choice and nobody forced me to make the choices I made.

What is there to learn if you keep excusing yourself and blaming everyone else for your mistakes? Does that help in any way?

I agree, mistakes are sometimes not your fault, but you still have to deal with the consequences and learn from them. With all the mistakes I have made up to today, there were signs and red warnings, but I did it anyway. I believe most people have experienced the same once they reach a certain age.

So, should blame victims of crime for allowing themselves to become victims of crime?

11 minutes ago, KhunHeineken said:

So, should blame victims of crime for allowing themselves to become victims of crime?

What crime are you talking about?

Thai women leaving their boyfriends or husbands and asking them to leave a property they do not own? Is that a crime?

On 7/12/2026 at 4:05 AM, KhunHeineken said:

Pretty much the point I am making.

I've seen the big, new, and nice farang built houses in the villages, amongst the shacks. That's where some / all the farang's money went.

Your offshore rotation was your holiday from the village. Your escape. Many have imprisoned themselves in Issan.

The OP conjures up images of miserable expats who are in a bar at 9am everyday, moaning and complaining about all things Thailand, and life in general.

There's a whole lot of different misery in the Issan villages for expats. They don't even have a bar to go to at 9am. They sit on their porch. They don't even have anyone to moan and complain to, as the Thai girl's family don't even speak English. 🙂

You may be right but you're overlooking some pains that people endured before Thailand. That life very well might be better than the one they left behind.

17 minutes ago, Hummin said:

What crime are you talking about?

Thai women leaving their boyfriends or husbands and asking them to leave a property they do not own? Is that a crime?

That is not a crime, but has the foreigner been defrauded, yes.

Once again, it goes back to the old debate, do we blame the Thai hookers / scammers, or blame the guys for cutting corners and thinking their girl is different?

20 minutes ago, sidjameson said:

You may be right but you're overlooking some pains that people endured before Thailand. That life very well might be better than the one they left behind.

That's possible, but as mentioned, how many of them can honestly say they aspired to retire in a small village in Issan? I would suggest very few, if any.

If we surveyed some of them, what percentage would say they were brought up on a farm in their home country, or was a farmer? I would suggest a very low percent, if any.

Yet, despite the above, that's where they find themselves.

8 minutes ago, KhunHeineken said:

That is not a crime, but has the foreigner been defrauded, yes.

Once again, it goes back to the old debate, do we blame the Thai hookers / scammers, or blame the guys for cutting corners and thinking their girl is different?

Why do you feel the need to take sides? Every relationship has its own challenges and struggles.

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

If my wife turned on me tomorrow, I'd be glad I kept enough money back in the UK to buy another one a house.

Would you stay in CM?

10 hours ago, The Oracle said:


If I really wanted to throw money around, I'd get a more powerful car as the one I have (I b ought it new in late 2017) is a slug and when I travel E or NE, as I have to go across or along two mountains ranges. South, West, and NW are fine. The Almera does about 50-55 mpg when I drive to Chon Buri.

But your question? Yes. I'd probably stay here. But probably not continuing to rent this half a house but build a small, two-bedroom villa elsewhere on the property. There are pockets of five rai here and seven rai there that are just bush. And I'd build another sala (bahn lom) but configure it better - learn from the mistakes of this one.

I have been travelling overseas two- three times a year now for the best decade so I'm slowing down for a while. Having said that, with a lazy $750k loose in my bank account (post car and house build) I would use premium airlines to travel the long distances. It took me 11 hours to get to Vienna last year flying Austrian Airlines, but 33 hours to get back from Gatwick due to stops in Ankara and Mumbai as I used a Go-to-Gate booking which put me on Indigo and the stopovers were horrendous with overbooked flights and changing terminals. And, lets be fair, rushing to a gate to see if you can get checked in or have to stay in the Turkish airport for at least another six hours until the next flight - if that's not full - isn't something I'd want to do again.

So, yes. I'd stay here. Do some sort of deal with TLL,
Build that small house and sala.
Buy a new car - nothing ostentatious and small enough to traverse the narrow sois of Bangkok, Pattaya, Chiang Mai and elswhere, but powerful enough so I don't have to thrash its guts out to go up into Nam Nao national park or over the range in Chaiyaphum. Probably a Honda HRV hybrid.
And once all that's done, do a couple of European trips; a month of travel in Africa, go to Australia and New Zealand, Canada. I have friends in Panama I'd like to visit but even though I don't need to penny-pinch much even now, the prices from Bangkok to there is pretty steep but with that 750k I wouldn't care.
The ex and I would stay in mostly 4 and 5 star places, but often some dogy s hole because of its location. Five star resorts if taking the kids (which are in their thirties now) due to breakfast buffets they could strip-mine, pool bars for us, and lifeguards on the beaches.
Now, when I travel I stay in three-star, even two-star places because to be blunt I'm never there except to park the car and to sleep. I don't know how many hotels I've stayed in over the last, say, fifteen years but it'd have to be well over 100. One trip to Pattaya during The Plague (my friend was retiring) and the whole place was dead, I stayed in four different hotels over the course of the week to sort of "spread the love" as it were. I don't know where you live but when I was there end of 2020, you didn't even have to look to cross Beach or Second road as there was no traffic. At all. And the travel time I managed to shave off 15 minutes due to not having to weave around inconsiderate, probably unlicenced anuses behind the wheels of overloaded, smoke-spewing Isuzu pickups older than the myopic grandfathers driving them thirty kilometres below the speed limit in the outside lane. (That, and my car has the overtaking ability of a disability scooter on its last 2%)

I like it here. My friends like to visit here but couldn't live here. In the same way I like to visit my friends in places like CM and Pattaya but I couldn't live there.

I don't think much of Central Pattaya anyway but the access to a range of ethnic foods is great, I hardly know Bangkok at all. Been four times for about two days each time and booked hotels near what I wanted to see and walked around. Naklua, Jomtiem, and Bang Saray seem nice but I couldn't live in a condo, I'd go stir crazy.
That's what I like about here. So much space. So much privacy - in a country where everybody knows who's up who within minutes of it happening. No road noise (except on the days immediate to and ending Songkran where to noise from the highway 1.5 km away as the crow flies is chokka block. No smog. And, except for this past season when the AQI got to 132, don't get any burn off smoke.

But I'll take a million bucks any time and waste it on increasing comfort, and travelling.

Oh! Yes. Mosquitoes suck a.. A man comes around once a year and gives each house a fogging of what, I assume is DEET (it's not pyrethrum, this stuff is chemical) and the house goes through four coils a day during between May and October. This sala (from that photo on the back of aspect, there is a 100m x 20m dam which has frogs, fish, eels and snakes and monitors in it. Not much larvae survives in that. Plenty of puddles here, especially with me being about 10 metres from a rice field.
Apparently we don't get malaria mosquitoes here, only the ones that carry zika and dengue. Considering pretty much no-one around ere is gong to get pregnant Zika isn't an issue. Dengue is what worries me, though but, hey! You can only do so much.

Interesting.

Would you consider yourself a recluse?

6 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Why do you feel the need to take sides? Every relationship has its own challenges and struggles.

I'm not taking sides. What leads to the misery of many foreigners here is they have lost their life savings to a Thai hooker / scammer. When we read of such cases on this forum, the guy is ridiculed in page after page of comments.

You quite rightly point out that if a foreigners puts a house in a Thai girls name, and is later kicked out of the house, no crime has been committed, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been scammed.

Then, you get cases like the below. Is he a victim of crime, or did he just make some poor decisions? Could what happened to him, happen to anyone?

BBC News
No image preview

The Phuket property nightmare

The Thai island of Phuket is increasingly popular with foreigners seeking a comfortable and cost-efficient retirement - but some have become the victims of fraud, losing everything.
1 hour ago, KhunHeineken said:

I'm not taking sides. What leads to the misery of many foreigners here is they have lost their life savings to a Thai hooker / scammer. When we read of such cases on this forum, the guy is ridiculed in page after page of comments.

GeographicReference

You quite rightly point out that if a foreigners puts a house in a Thai girls name, and is later kicked out of the house, no crime has been committed, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been scammed.

Then, you get cases like the below. Is he a victim of crime, or did he just make some poor decisions? Could what happened to him, happen to anyone?

BBC News
No image preview

The Phuket property nightmare

The Thai island of Phuket is increasingly popular with foreigners seeking a comfortable and cost-efficient retirement - but some have become the victims of fraud, losing everything.

Sure, it can happen to anyone, but both of these cases were in Phuket, not Isaan.

12 hours ago, KhunHeineken said:

Interesting.

Would you consider yourself a recluse?


No, not really but I can see how that would seem. I'm out and about here, go to restaurants, shopping, stop and have a natter with the mechanics; maybe if the timing is right, rip across the road and buy a couple of cans and have a laugh. Also, aprt from just general living as I would anywhere else, the family here is quite large and spread out as five of the eight "kids" all live within half a mile of each other on a private road on their land. And that's not including first cousins strewn around the area, either as their farms abut "ours".
I got to the festivals - Songkran here was great this years, bought a box of Leos to the flatbed and wacthed the concert. Funerals, weddings, just the stuff I'd do in the States, the UK or anywhere I'd live.

I suppose I'm "reclusive" to those I used to hang with back home but we were all also married and had other stuff ging on in our own ives but that's why phones were invented.
As I said in a previous reply to you, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the internet.
And friends from the USA, UK, Australia, and Scandinavia come to Thailand to visit (and some also live here) and I drop down to Phuket or Krabi or wherever for a catch up and then let them carry on - they're on holiday, they don't need a third wheel.
I had friend over for 16 days back in March. I drove to CM (caught up with a friend I knew as well) where he had some suits made, then to CR which I had never been to before, back to Phetchabun via Sukhothaik *the park there is very good) and stayed in the village thre nights, then up to Khon Kaen for a night, Bueng Kan (which I also hadn't been to before) where there was a massive anniversary celebration of them becoming a province via Nong Khai so Kev could have lunch overlooking the Mekhong toward Laos. Then down to Nakhon Phanom and checked out the temples, food and nightlife there. Temple at night is impressive and there was a huge mass-blessing and ordination of monks which was something I hadn't seen either.


A recluse? I get out and about, drive to friends in other provinces (and fly to them in other countries) but here itself I am quite reclusive solely due to physical and logistical distance. There is nothing of note here tourist-wise. Si Thep NAtional PArk is about 60km south, Khao Kho is 100km north. While I was doing my 90-day report, Kev found a museum which I didn't even know existed in Phetchabun city and I still haven't visited but I will do on my next report day.

On the rare occasion a minivan of foreigners turns up at the 7-Eleven (the market is held in front of it) on its way back south (probably from Immigration to get their education visas or whatever, there is a muay thai school about 10km south of me) I'll generally nod or say hello. I will offer to help those wanting food from the stall vendors rather than from inside the 7.

But, yes, I probably wouldn't want people dropping around unexpectedly. I'm reclusive to that extent. I suffer from a couple of mental health issues and I can have "bad days".

What I miss most about living here - except for decent bacon and ham, decent cheeses, and decent wine at a decent price - is I've missed out on funerals or, at least, seeing my friends in hospital and saying goodbye while they can still hear me, or having a beer with them before they died unexpectedly.

But if anyone that's not a nutjob wants to meet for a meal at some local roadside restaurant one afternoon, with a week or so's notice, I'm up for it.

11 hours ago, Hummin said:

Sure, it can happen to anyone, but both of these cases were in Phuket, not Isaan.

I've never specifically singled out Issan. What happens a lot is the guy buys land, builds a house etc for the Thai girl, in many cases using up his life savings, then has no choice but to move to Issan, with a depleted bank account.

So, if it can happen to anyone, have they been scammed, or did they make poor choices and have themselves to blame?

14 hours ago, sidjameson said:

Would you stay in CM?

Too old to move far now and the cycling here is too good!

4 minutes ago, KhunHeineken said:

I've never specifically singled out Issan. What happens a lot is the guy buys land, builds a house etc for the Thai girl, in many cases using up his life savings, then has no choice but to move to Issan, with a depleted bank account.

So, if it can happen to anyone, have they been scammed, or did they make poor choices and have themselves to blame?

Their poor choice was to put all their money into one woman.

It's just the way the modern world has gone.

If you give a woman choices, expect her to make choices that will harm herself and everyone around her.

20 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Their poor choice was to put all their money into one woman.

It's just the way the modern world has gone.

If you give a woman choices, expect her to make choices that will harm herself and everyone around her.

I agree.

We've read articles of romance scams, from all around the world. It happens. The perpetrator, male or female, play the long game con artist.

That's all many of the Thai hookers / scammers do here. It's interesting where members apportion blame. The Thai hooker / scammer, or the foreign guy for allowing himself to be scammed. Regardless, is the foreigner not to some degree a victim of crime?

Even intelligence agencies run honey trap operations.

4 hours ago, KhunHeineken said:

I've never specifically singled out Issan. What happens a lot is the guy buys land, builds a house etc for the Thai girl, in many cases using up his life savings, then has no choice but to move to Issan, with a depleted bank account.

SoutheastAsians & Pacific Islanders

So, if it can happen to anyone, have they been scammed, or did they make poor choices and have themselves to blame?

You are changing the story now. You clearly singled out Isaan and the men who had imprisoned themselves there.

3 hours ago, Hummin said:

You are changing the story now. You clearly singled out Isaan and the men who had imprisoned themselves there.

That became a subtopic, but there are many in that position living in Pattaya, and other parts of Thailand.

Coincidentally, there's a news thread published today about a broke foreigner in Chiang Mai who lost all his money to a Thai women. I will be posting on that thread. I am interested in what percentage of blame / criminality do they apportion to both sides. Eg. 100% the guy's fault for giving the money, or 100% the girls fault for scamming him, or somewhere in between. He surely has a miserable life ahead.

31 minutes ago, KhunHeineken said:

That became a subtopic, but there are many in that position living in Pattaya, and other parts of Thailand.

Beaches& Islands


Why are you so obsessed with these matters? You already know the recipe for getting scammed in Thailand. It is not that difficult: if it seems too good to be true, it usually is. Sometimes one gets lucky, and that is why so many are willing to play the game with young women from poor families who may genuinely have a big heart.

There is usually no secret or hidden mystery in these cases. The warning signs are often there from day one. Friends warn them, others warn them, and I have even seen Thai women tell them they are making a mistake. Still, some go all in from the beginning without thinking.

Then you have the more complicated cases, where alcohol, drugs, mental-health problems, greedy families, or cheap men who do not understand the culture become the real reasons behind the outcome. Some take the woman out of work, give her a small allowance, and expect her to be happy while looking after a grown man like a big baby.

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