Trusting My Thai Gf...

[iminthailand]

Feel free to move this if it is in the wrong place. Would like to get opinions particularily from Thais.

I spent my 1st 8 months or so on Koh Samui, so I might be biased because of all the garbage going on there...I live in BKK now.

I just get nervous because it seems like cheating is just accepted in Asia in general and even more so in Thailand (the sorta stick your head in the sand mentality).

I'm in my 20's and my gf is 23.

She went to a public university in BKK and from a middle class family.

She works at a major corporation in Bangkok but also works as a Beer promo girl and probably meets a lot of Thai and Farong men from this.

She didn't sleep with me right away and never seemed to care about if I had money or not (I think she knows I do now, but didn't for awhile)

She said I am only the 2nd guy she has had sex with (1st was a Thai bf she was with from age 20-23). She said she has been on dates with a few more guys after she split with her bf but didn't sleep with them.

I've only been with her for a month but see her almost every day.

Anyway, she is definately a girl I'd be happy to have a relationship with but trust is a big thing for me. She would be the only girl in Thailand that I've been with that I trust.

FWIW it wouldn't bother me if she has had sex with more guys than 2 (as long as its not Bar girl type numbers), it would hugely bother me if she lied though. Can I pretty much use the same logic/dating common sense as I can with a western girl here? I just want to be able to trust her when I'm not around.

I guess I'd like to hear opinions. I hear a lot of blanket "don't trust thai girls" statements but I really don't want that to be true here.

Thanks.

PS If some part of this seems ignorant for one way or another please keep flames to a minimum, not trying to offend anyone.

Dump her and find a girl that is flawless! (do you get what I mean young man?) Try putting her shoes on if you have time.

Not exactly sure what you mean? Are you saying I should just lower my standards and that Thai girls making $20K baht per month need to be sluts if they want to get ahead?

[iminthailand]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

it just sorta came up. She was talking about her past and I was pretty much like "so im only the 2nd guy for you". I was surprised i guess. I think there is a healthy range though and its not completely irrelavant.

[iminthailand]

Maybe not the best choice for someone who tends to be very suspicious.

Its not like I want a girl who stays at home or in the library all day. I don't mind other guys talking to her or even trying to pick her up regularily as long as she is honest with me. I never really care about oportunities to cheat. I think if a girl is going to shag another guy she is going to do so whether she has the oportunity to do so 1 time or 50 times and if she's not shes not. Its not even just jealousy either. I think a girl who is going to lie+sleep around will cause problems not directly related to cheating later on also.

Sorry my english is not good. Do you mean you don't mind your girl sleeping with others as long as she doesn't lie to you about that? If that is the case, you are the winner! The girl will be in love with you for sure!

I can see how you'd think that if you don't speak english natively, but I would not be OK with that.

[Shah Jahan]

can you post a picture here of your girlfriend so we can properly evaluate.....

[JimmyCA]

FWIW it wouldn't bother me if she has had sex with more guys than 2 (as long as its not Bar girl type numbers), it would hugely bother me if she lied though. Can I pretty much use the same logic/dating common sense as I can with a western girl here? I just want to be able to trust her when I'm not around.

I guess I'd like to hear opinions. I hear a lot of blanket "don't trust thai girls" statements but I really don't want that to be true here.

She has lied to you, she is Thai.

Nobody wants the lying to be true in their case, but it usually is. As long as you are not giving her money you have a chance.

[h5n1]

marry her and regret it.

[chavy]

can you post a picture here of your girlfriend so we can properly evaluate.....

.......

[OlRedEyes]

I've only been with her for a month but see her almost every day.

Take time to know her....

Don't trust and don't mistrust. Time will tell.

[zaza]

Ohhhhhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! Not TGF again!

[solo siam]

[so easy to say, apart from anything else it sounds like a very dangerous stance to take. I mean if you are asking the question and getting answers in the 1,000's then some sort of alarm bell should be ringing. Would it also be OK if a potential spouse had been heavily involved in the porn industry as well?

I'm not one to particularly judge in these terms, but to say that whatever the number or circumstances it's fine, is way above my head.

SO let me get this straight you enter a relationship and you want to know how many lads a bird has shagged???

Of course I'd want to know a bit of sexual history about someone I was going to marry, no use burying your head in the sand and pretending that they didn't have a life before you met.

[mpdkorat]

From other posts the OP has made it's obvious he has friends and is not realy the shy type anyway.

I have never met a thai girl who did not cheat on her farong boyfriend when he is out of the country. Most of them (ones I do or don't shag) we end up having a laugh about how they get money from their bf. My friends have pretty much had the same experiences. This includes university girls.

I'm not saying ALL girls are like this but its ridiculusly standard. If there are absolutely any hints she is cheating on you she is.

I like the Tiger girls at Suan lum.

My wife has a profound hatred for Tiger Girls, can't think why........

[teacup]

Middle class AND a 'cheer beer' gal?

You might want to redefine what you mean by middle class.

What is a "cheer beer" gal anyway? .....sounds strange as a career choice

[meemiathai]

Middle class AND a 'cheer beer' gal?

You might want to redefine what you mean by middle class.

What is a "cheer beer" gal anyway? .....sounds strange as a career choice

Someone who dedicate their lifetime in promoting beer?

By the way, I have known "High class" AND "work in Mcdonald's".

[KhaoNiaw]

Middle class AND a 'cheer beer' gal?

You might want to redefine what you mean by middle class.

Working for 'a major corporation' too. Seems a bit odd to be moonlighting as a beer lass. Did she start doing this in her student days? Does she really need the money?

I can understand her enjoying the social aspect of it - but will that be something you feel comfortable with?

How did you meet her?

[Jockstar]

My ex used to work as a beer promotion girl on KSR. When we hooked up ,she was practically living with me from day one. The way some Thai girls do. She was smart and sexy. I lived in Bangkok with her for a year then i had to go back to London for about 6 months. I thought our relationship would be strong enough to survive. It wasn't. I found out 3 and a bit months down the line that she had met some other farang who gave her a bit of patter and went with him. Her loss and my gain. Because when i came back to Los i met my now wife after a couple of months. You just never know what they will do.

[thaiman]

Can I pretty much use the same logic/dating common sense as I can with a western girl here? I just want to be able to trust her when I'm not around.

Women are women. They are all built the same way, doesn't matter what their race is.

[intumult]

Try putting her shoes on if you have time.

If you start with her shoes next it will be her underwear, trust me, don't start wearing her clothes, this will only comlpicate matters.

Or make it very interesting, wearing those silky smooth knickers can be sensual but be careful the bra straps do not dig in and leave tell tale marks

I do know a few beer promotion girls away from the 'touristy locations' and yes, they are hoping to find a man though usually a Thai man. This does not make them bad girls per say but it shows their intent. I wonder how many end up as mia noi?

[Heng]

Middle class AND a 'cheer beer' gal?

You might want to redefine what you mean by middle class.

What is a "cheer beer" gal anyway? .....sounds strange as a career choice

A gal who puts on a sometimes revealing or at least tight fitting outfit of any of the major beer brands, or also liquor and mixed drink brands on the market here and tries to sell them in various bars, clubs, and even driving ranges. Some common ones are: Heinekin, Chang, Cheers, Tiger, Singh, Leo, JW Black, JW Red, Barcardi Breezer, and Chivas gals. They get a commission for each beer or bottle of liquor they are able to sell. They often redeem their commission by turning in the caps of said bottles at the end of the night (or whenever inventory is taken). Commissions are usually 5-10 Baht per bottle cap depending on volume of the bottle or sometimes 25-50 Baht for any liquor priced over 1,000 Baht a bottle. It's hardly a living... the "benefits" (if you can call them that) is that these gals get the opportunity to be chatted with, 'ta unged' (lightly touched), or sometimes worse: groped by anyone who has enough money for a night out. The trade off and potential upside for the gals is that sometimes these girls get picked up as girlfriends by local 'hia hia' or 'sia sia' or foreigners if we're talking about foreign bar and club areas.

In other words, hardly an occupation for a gal from the "middle classes." Of course, some folks might define "middle class" as anything other than a farmer or factory worker, so one's results may vary.

[teacup]

Ahh…the beer wench! Thanks ajarn heng.

However being groped all the time while working doesn’t sound that much fun though…eewww!

[Heng]

You're welcome krub, n'Teacup.

[kiakaha]

Middle class AND a 'cheer beer' gal?

You might want to redefine what you mean by middle class.

What is a "cheer beer" gal anyway? .....sounds strange as a career choice

A gal who puts on a sometimes revealing or at least tight fitting outfit of any of the major beer brands, or also liquor and mixed drink brands on the market here and tries to sell them in various bars, clubs, and even driving ranges. Some common ones are: Heinekin, Chang, Cheers, Tiger, Singh, Leo, JW Black, JW Red, Barcardi Breezer, and Chivas gals. They get a commission for each beer or bottle of liquor they are able to sell. They often redeem their commission by turning in the caps of said bottles at the end of the night (or whenever inventory is taken). Commissions are usually 5-10 Baht per bottle cap depending on volume of the bottle or sometimes 25-50 Baht for any liquor priced over 1,000 Baht a bottle. It's hardly a living... the "benefits" (if you can call them that) is that these gals get the opportunity to be chatted with, 'ta unged' (lightly touched), or sometimes worse: groped by anyone who has enough money for a night out. The trade off and potential upside for the gals is that sometimes these girls get picked up as girlfriends by local 'hia hia' or 'sia sia' or foreigners if we're talking about foreign bar and club areas.

In other words, hardly an occupation for a gal from the "middle classes." Of course, some folks might define "middle class" as anything other than a farmer or factory worker, so one's results may vary.

I've struck up a few conversations with them before, and there is also a monthly retainer of 2500 baht(Tiger) last time i inquired.

[xyborg]

<br />

How many ladies have you slept with? <img src="style_emoticons/default/crazy.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="crazy.gif" /> I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship. <img src="style_emoticons/default/dry.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="<_<" border="0" alt="dry.gif" />

<br />Would you be OK with your potential wife having had sex with say 1,000 men?<br />

<br /><br /><br />

No!!!!!! I'd have to draw the line at 999. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do etc etc .

[iminthailand]

Middle class AND a 'cheer beer' gal?

You might want to redefine what you mean by middle class.

What is a "cheer beer" gal anyway? .....sounds strange as a career choice

A gal who puts on a sometimes revealing or at least tight fitting outfit of any of the major beer brands, or also liquor and mixed drink brands on the market here and tries to sell them in various bars, clubs, and even driving ranges. Some common ones are: Heinekin, Chang, Cheers, Tiger, Singh, Leo, JW Black, JW Red, Barcardi Breezer, and Chivas gals. They get a commission for each beer or bottle of liquor they are able to sell. They often redeem their commission by turning in the caps of said bottles at the end of the night (or whenever inventory is taken). Commissions are usually 5-10 Baht per bottle cap depending on volume of the bottle or sometimes 25-50 Baht for any liquor priced over 1,000 Baht a bottle. It's hardly a living... the "benefits" (if you can call them that) is that these gals get the opportunity to be chatted with, 'ta unged' (lightly touched), or sometimes worse: groped by anyone who has enough money for a night out. The trade off and potential upside for the gals is that sometimes these girls get picked up as girlfriends by local 'hia hia' or 'sia sia' or foreigners if we're talking about foreign bar and club areas.

In other words, hardly an occupation for a gal from the "middle classes." Of course, some folks might define "middle class" as anything other than a farmer or factory worker, so one's results may vary.

yeah, thats why I'm a bit confused. She has a 4 yr degree and works as an insurance underwriter during the day. She only makes like 10K baht per month from the corporation (she's only been there a few months) and said she wanted more money. Most of the other beer girls I've talked to probably never went to or finished high school. Seemed like a pretty stupid 2nd job IMO also.

[ThaiPauly]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

Would you be OK with your potential wife having had sex with say 1,000 men?

I'd like to have a video camera handy for that one

[onnut]

most beer promotion girls I know are at university and trying to pay there way. most of them do the job because it pays very well, and it helps improve there English. the ones I know are not bad girls, I think all of em would like a farang boyfriend.

sounds like your one has already met hers, relax and see where it goes.

by the way, my wife is from Isan, and she is lovely, and certainly not a bad girl, so I dont know where you get that from.

[ZukiSuzuki]

yeah, thats why I'm a bit confused. She has a 4 yr degree and works as an insurance underwriter during the day. She only makes like 10K baht per month from the corporation (she's only been there a few months) and said she wanted more money.

I work here in Bangkok for one of the largest insurance groups in the world, she is not an insurance underwriter getting paid B10,000 per month. I work closely with all major insurance groups and companies within the Asia Pacific region and world wide. She may well be working for an 'insurance company' but she is certainly not an underwriter if she is only earning that amount of money.

All the best.

Zuki

[Heng]

Ah yes... it's all fun and games until reality walks into the room.

[game4shame]

How many ladies have you slept with? I find it amazing why someone would want to know these sort of details - really has no bearing on your relationship.

Would you be OK with your potential wife having had sex with say 1,000 men?

Irrelevant to my relationship with my potential wife - as far as I'm concerned you start back at zero when you enter a relationship with someone.

aka 'love is blind'.

I'm not taking a dig but IMO honesty is one of the most important factors in a relationship.

[chiang mai]

Feel free to move this if it is in the wrong place. Would like to get opinions particularily from Thais.

I spent my 1st 8 months or so on Koh Samui, so I might be biased because of all the garbage going on there...I live in BKK now.

I just get nervous because it seems like cheating is just accepted in Asia in general and even more so in Thailand (the sorta stick your head in the sand mentality).

I'm in my 20's and my gf is 23.

She went to a public university in BKK and from a middle class family.

She works at a major corporation in Bangkok but also works as a Beer promo girl and probably meets a lot of Thai and Farong men from this.

She didn't sleep with me right away and never seemed to care about if I had money or not (I think she knows I do now, but didn't for awhile)

She said I am only the 2nd guy she has had sex with (1st was a Thai bf she was with from age 20-23). She said she has been on dates with a few more guys after she split with her bf but didn't sleep with them.

I've only been with her for a month but see her almost every day.

Anyway, she is definately a girl I'd be happy to have a relationship with but trust is a big thing for me. She would be the only girl in Thailand that I've been with that I trust.

FWIW it wouldn't bother me if she has had sex with more guys than 2 (as long as its not Bar girl type numbers), it would hugely bother me if she lied though. Can I pretty much use the same logic/dating common sense as I can with a western girl here? I just want to be able to trust her when I'm not around.

I guess I'd like to hear opinions. I hear a lot of blanket "don't trust thai girls" statements but I really don't want that to be true here.

Thanks.

PS If some part of this seems ignorant for one way or another please keep flames to a minimum, not trying to offend anyone.

Sorry to say but she has almost certainly lied to you at some point, probably many times. Thai's wouldn't agree however that they were lying and it might more appropriately be called, saving face. If you can't come to terms with "saving face" you probably shouldn't be here. The boundaries of "saving face", well, there aren't any and that includes the number of sexual partners she may have had, motives, etc etc. It sounds like you're well into your apprenticeship, do keep going, it's worth the learning process and will serve you later in life.

[madjbs]

Im sorry but this kind of information is just complete rubbish. There is some girls that may lie to you like that but there is also a massive amount that wouldnt dream of lieing to "save face" when you are in a proper relationship with them. You cant possibly say she has certainly lied, you dont know her.